Not that I'm freaking out or anything (😅), but Tumblr has seriously become a comfort/support spot of mine since 2023 when I joined the Pedro Pascal fandom. I think I thought I'd just be here for gifs and giggles, but I discovered fanfic here, and omg to find not only the AMAZING writing that exists in this community, but also to watch the community itself grow and evolve through amazing writers creating amazing works, it's wonderful.
I'm going through the omg-is-Tumblr-dying anxiety bit here, so I'm just writing this in hopes that the wonderful users I follow here (including the mutuals who have followed me back - I can't tell you how much I appreciate that, considering all I do here is reblog!) will land themselves in a findable spot in case we gotta bounce from here.
I'm deviscave on Bluesky and Pillowfort (just joined), and ad23900 on AO3.
(I really freaking hope Tumblr sticks around, though! If not, hopefully the next platform where we find each other is just as supportive, if not more so.)
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summary: After being dragged to Laredo, TX by your ex, you take up a job as a bartender at a local dive bar. Originally, it was just to to get back on your feet but after 3 years of stagnation, your world gets shaken up when a new visitor begins to frequent your bar.
tags/warnings: E-rated: MDNI!!, alternating timelines, heavy smut, unprotected PIV, oral (m & F), edging, hella dirty talk (it's Javi), pinch of mirror sex, pet names (pretty girl, hermosa), a little bit of protective Javi, a little bit of trauma'd Javi, smoking, drinking, cursing, gun use, no physical descriptions of reader outside of having thick thighs and long-ish hair (header pic isn't completely accurate but damn it was hard to find much of anything I had envisioned in my mind lol) but she does have a Southern drawl.
word count: 13.2k 😬
note: no note just smut. byeeee.
You didn’t mean to end up in his bed again.
Yet here you are—propped up on the edge of it with your legs tossed over his shoulders, his face buried deep between them as he brings you to the edge for the third time tonight. He seems to revel in the way he takes you to the brink of pleasure only to leave you in limbo, barely hanging on by a lousy thread.
You don’t know how or when he learned your body so quickly—the ins and outs of you that make your chest heave and your body shudder as you chant his name—but now that he has, you don’t think you ever want him to stop.
And he doesn’t seem to want to stop either.
He has become your entire summer. The time you’d usually spend taking weekend trips to the coast or going out to tear up town with your friends has fallen by the wayside—all of your free time completely encompassed by him. When you’re with him, you want time to stand still. And when you’re not with him you’re constantly thinking about when you’ll see him again.
The first time he showed up at the bar where you work wasn’t anything special. It was like any other early summer night in south Texas and your bar was like any other typical watering hole in the area.
He could’ve wound up at any of them but he landed in front of you.
He walked in like a slow roll of thunder during a late night summer storm as it blows in on a warm gust. One that hesitates for a beat after a blinding flash of lightning off in the distance. Nothing loud or flashy—he didn’t have any need to call attention to himself—just a steady presence that rumbled with something more just under the surface.
His eyes were a deep chocolate brown. It’s the first thing you noticed about him. They had something so warm and inviting yet guarded behind them when he looked up at you to order. You didn’t realize the two characteristics could co-exist.
Out of the curiosity that comes when a fresh face walks in, you’d asked him that first night what brought him to your bar specifically. He said you carried a Colombian beer he liked and couldn’t find anywhere else.
“Oh? How’d you first try it? Was it here? Maybe before I started?”
“No,” he said as he took a swig from his bottle.
“‘No’ That’s all I get? It’s not exactly a common one—at least not around here. My boss just happens to be somewhat of a beer connoisseur,” you probed as you wiped down the bartop.
“Well then—I just so happen to be a beer connoisseur myself,” he huffed as he placed a cigarette between his lips.
You tossed him a matchbook. “Strange coincidence,” you said with a skeptical eyebrow raised.
“Guess so,” he ripped a match against the striker and placed the flame to the tip of his cigarette until it scorched the white paper with the hue of freshly burning tobacco.
You didn’t press him any further. You’re well versed in the business of making small talk that comes with being a bartender.
And you also know when someone wants to be left alone.
He’d come and gone nearly as quickly as your conversation. After his second cigarette and the single beer, he’d left while you were chatting with one of your regulars—his spot at the bar replaced with cash for the drink and your service.
At this point in the night, you’re hot, sweaty, frustrated. You have no idea what time it is or how long he’s been denying you your release. All you know is you’ve never been so fucking desperate to come. When he said he was going to take his time with you tonight you didn’t think it would involve so much…torture. Every pass of his tongue through your folds makes you dizzy with lust, your core fluttering and squeezing tight when he pushes a finger or two between them teasingly.
He had positioned his standing mirror directly in front of where he knew he was going to have you for the night. He wanted to make sure you’d be able to see how much of a fucking wreck you are when he’s got you like this. Anytime your head has dipped since he started to work you, he’s made sure to tip your chin back up to exactly where he wants you to focus.
So, you look up again at the reflection in front of you. Your skin, dewy from the sickly summer humidity, practically glows in the soft lighting of his room. Your lips stay permanently parted as he draws little gasps and moans from you. You wish you could say your hair is perfectly sex-toussled, but there’s nothing perfect about it as it plasters itself to the sweat on your neck and cheek. Your favorite part of the reflection though, is the way the muscles of his back look like perfectly sculpted art from the way the warm lighting casts dramatic shadows through his room. You whimper quietly every time his shoulders flex when he repositions you as he pleases.
You watch with your jaw dropped open as his hand caresses up your body to roll a peaked nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Your brows furrow as you cry out in a pathetic whine that you expect him to understand.
Whether he cares though is a different story.
“What’s wrong, hermosa?” He rasps before he nips lightly against your inner thigh.
“Javi, please,” you pant above him, your body involuntarily rolling, desperate for friction. “I need to come.”
The next time he showed up, your back was turned to the door as you counted the pallets of beer that had been delivered that morning. You instinctively greeted him with the standard “hey welcome in, be with you in just a sec,” when you’d heard the rusty bell above the door ring.
After you’d finished your pre-rush inventory, you turned around only to be met with those same brown eyes that had caught your attention the last time you saw him. He seemed more on edge tonight than before as he sat there fidgeting with a paper coaster, his eyes flicking back and forth as he scanned the bar.
“Oh, hey there! Welcome back….” You trailed as you waited for him to fill in the silence with his name you didn’t happen to catch before.
“Javi,” he said with a dip of his head.
“Javi,” you smile. “Seems like you could use somethin’ a little stronger to take the edge off tonight?” You suggested.
“What makes you say that?”
“That coaster was fresh before you sat down,” you leaned against the bar in front of him, playfully plucking the destroyed cardboard between your fingers.
“Shit. Sorry,” he laughed under his breath.
“I’m just teasin’,” you drawled as you flung the mangled paper into the trash. “What’re you havin’ tonight, honey?”
His first and second rounds, he ordered the same beer that had initially drawn him in, but as the night went on he switched to whiskey which he seemed to savor longer.
For the first part of the night, the bar was slammed—a typical Saturday. It didn’t leave you much room to converse, only checking in with him when he needed a refill, but you could still feel his eyes on you as you buzzed around the bar through the rush.
Lucky for you, the switch up of booze and the time it had to settle into him gave you more of an opportunity to get him talking. He finally seemed somewhat relaxed compared to when he first sat down.
The end of the rush has always been your favorite time of the night. The bar settles into such a calming energy. You get a breather plus a chance to actually talk to your regulars—but tonight your focus is all on him.
“Felt your eyes burnin’ a hole in me all night, Javi. You got somethin’ to say finally?” You gave him a sly glance as you removed a fresh batch of glasses from the dishwasher.
He smirked at your call-out, “was it that obvious?”
“Maybe not to some people, but I’m very observant,” you flirted.
“Oh, yeah?” He chuckled and pulled a carton of cigarettes from his pocket, extending it out to you in an offer you politely declined.
“I sure am,” you smiled at him and leaned over to rest your elbows against the bar. You took note of the way his eyes dropped to your cleavage despite how brief it was—another part of bartending you’ve grown accustomed to. You usually play it up anyways since a glimpse of tit gets you more tip money but you didn’t want Javi’s money.
You wanted his attention.
“I guess I do have a question for you,” he rasped as he flicked his cigarette into the ashtray. “What the fuck are you doing in this place?”
“Uhh bartendin’?” you looked around confused.
“No, not in the bar,” he laughed, “in Laredo. Not much going on here unless you’re a farmer or stay-at-home mom,” he took a drag from his cigarette as he studied you.
“Yeah, I suppose that’s true,” you laughed, “Okay…I’ll tell you—but—you have to promise not to laugh at me,” you said in a hushed voice.
“I don’t usually make promises but I guess I can make an exception for you,” he shot back.
Your cheeks grew hot with a quick flush, suddenly much more nervous with all of his focus on you. He seemed kind but even in his kindness he was laced with a quiet intensity that equally made you cautious and curious for more.
“Uhm well, it’s really not that interestin’—moved here from Dallas for a boy. He broke my heart. Took this job while I worked on figurin’ out what I wanted to do next—get back on my feet—and now here it is 3 years later and I still have no fuckin’ clue what I’m doin’. Tale as old as time, I guess,” you shrug.
“His loss,” he said as he flicked more ash into the tray in front of him.
“Damn straight,” you shot back proudly. “Now, what about you? I gave you somethin’ you gotta return the favor,” you grabbed the bottle of whiskey and topped him off—a friendly bit of encouragement to get him to stay just a bit longer.
He leaned back in his chair, cigarette hanging from his lips, “Well, what I give back to you all depends…what do you wanna know?”
“Hmm, I finally got your name earlier, so I suppose I’ll move on with the standard script— where ya from?” you leaned back onto the corner of the bar next to where he sat.
“I’m from here—from Laredo,” he said before taking a swig of fresh whiskey.
“Oh—really?” You asked quizzically.
“Is that hard to believe or something?” He chuckled.
“No, it’s just—are you a farmer? You don’t seem the type,” you said with an inquisitive brow raised. His clothes and hair were much too clean and neat compared to your regular clientele.
“Not exactly, but my Pops has a ranch. He’s getting older so I’ve been helping him out,” he shrugged.
“Aww, bless. You’re a good son, Javi,” you said as you reached over the bar to give him a playful pat on the shoulder. “Wait…Javi—are you Chucho Peña’s Javi?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah I am,” he leaned forward to stub out his cigarette into the ashtray, seemingly somewhat bashful that you made the connection with no other information.
“Well, I guess that explains a lot,” it rolled off your tongue, sounding worse than you intended.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He huffed in amusement.
“Oh! Nothing bad! Not at all! I’ve just, ya know, heard some things while out and about. You’re kinda famous around here I guess.”
“Famous, huh?” he questioned sarcastically.
“Don’t worry. I don’t get starstruck,” you winked.
“Small-town bullshit,” he chuckled.
“Oh, I’ve come to learn all about it—it’s a lot more political than I expected,” you laughed.
“They gotta figure out where to put you in the hierarchy so they know how much shit they’re allowed to talk about you. It’s serious business,” he said with a raised eyebrow before tossing back the rest of his drink.
“Well, you don’t seem to have that problem. You’re basically the king aren’t ya?” you teased.
“It’s not so easy being at the top, you know. That’s when they talk the most shit,” he trailed off before continuing, “so, what else have you heard?”
You felt his energy shift—not enough to be outwardly noticeable to others, but you could tell he was at least a little worried about what you might say despite his nonchalance.
“Uhm, well—I know you worked in law enforcement here before leaving to join the DEA…” you started.
“That it?” he said with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, no,” you paused and cautiously weighed how to continue, but he gave a reassuring glance that it was okay for you to complete your thought.
“I also heard you left your fiancé at the altar a while back,” your face twisted up like you were bracing for impact.
“Fuck, they still talk about that?” He huffed and squirmed in his seat.
“Yeah, I’m sorry! I really didn’t wanna say, Javi—didn’t wanna make you feel bad,” you laughed and brought your hands up to cover your face sheepishly.
“Didn’t wanna make me feel bad?” he said, shocked.
“Well, yeah? I mean, you musta had your reasons—I don’t know, it’s none of my business,” you shrugged and waved it off.
The longer you talked the more you realized that despite the face he shows outwardly, he’s actually softly charming and funny—able to go back and forth with you with relative ease. Didn’t hurt that he was handsome as hell either. You wondered why he walked around like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders all the time—or at least the times you’d seen him.
“Aye! Left you a lil’ somethin’ down at the end of the bar, sweetheart,” you heard someone call out behind you.
“Oh, shit, Larry! I thought you’d left ages ago. Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” you clasped your hands over your heart.
“Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing. Luisa’s out front to get me anyways. I’ll see ya next week, darlin’,” he shot you both a knowing wink and was out the door.
“Shit,” you whispered when you turned back to Javi, “I really fuckin’ forgot about him,” you giggled.
“We’re gonna be the talk of the town now,” Javi sighed.
“Especially if Luisa gets a whiff,” you rolled your eyes playfully, “Well, I better let you get goin’ before they can make up any more gossip fodder. I should’ve started closin’ up a half hour ago,” you said as you took his empty glass and placed it in the sink.
“The owner makes you close up alone?” He stood up from his seat to lean against the bar.
“Somebody’s gotta do it,” you rounded the bar and patted him reassuringly on the shoulder before wiping his chair down and stacking it on the bar top.
He followed your lead and started to stack chairs on tables across from you.
“What’re you doin’, Javi? Get outta here it’s late,” you waved him on.
“Which is exactly why I’m staying to help you. Pretty girl like you shouldn’t be in here alone this late,” he said as he stacked another set of chairs.
You hold it together just enough to not let his complement get the better of your independent spirit even if you were screaming inside.
“Baby, this is Texas. I’m armed,” you shot back with a smirk.
He slinks up from the floor, never coming to a full stand as he pushes you up the bed with heated, sloppy kisses. Your hands instinctively fly up to tangle in his soft brown locks as you nip at his bottom lip.
He groans above you, finally giving you the first glimpse of how gone he is at this point too. Now that he’s not buried between your thighs, you can see how glazed over in pleasure his eyes are, his pupils blown out wide to the point you can’t see their chocolate brown at all.
“Fuck, Javi,” you pant and reach out to start slowly stroking him. He hisses followed by a low groan as he pulses in your hand. “You know you didn’t have to wait this long? Didn’t have to do this to yourself,” you coo.
“Wanted to see how far both of us could go before fucking losing it,” he captures your lips with his and teases the tip of his tongue at your top lip. You gasp and part your lips so you can roll your tongue against his languidly.
“Who’s winnin’?” It drips from your lips like honey as you stop pumping him to plunge two fingers into your aching pussy.
“Ohh fuck,” he moans as he looks down in awe at where you gather your slick and use it to slowly start pumping his thick length.
You watch with kiss-swollen lips, parted in raw desire as his brow furrow in concentration as he starts to fuck your hand.
“Need you inside me, Javi,” you pant as you squeeze him, “need to feel you.”
He groans as he leans forward to kiss you heatedly. You breathe into him and trap him close to you by pulling at the waves at the back of his head. He drags his tongue lazily against yours, mirroring the way he drags his throbbing cock through your soaked entrance.
“This what you need, pretty girl?” he taunts against your lips as he pushes his swollen tip through your folds.
“Yes, more, please,” you beg in a pant.
“You want more?” he says as he grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger to force you to look at him. You look up at him lazily through your lashes, eyes half-lidded and clouded with need as you nod and arch your back into him.
Without a word, he licks your bottom lip and has you chasing his kiss before unexpectedly flipping you over onto all fours before your brain can even process it.
You let out a surprised whine as he spreads his hand across your back and presses your chest down into the mattress. He slips his other arm under your hips to support your weight and so your ass is up and on full display for him.
He groans from deep in his chest at the filthy sight in front of him. He rubs his thumb tantalizingly slowly through your puffy folds and all you can do is whine and squirm beneath him as another wave of arousal floods you.
“Fuck, hermosa, look at you,” he rasps as he spreads your cheeks apart. The sound of your pussy lips separating drags quiet moans from both of you.
He keeps a hand on your upper back so that you stay pressed into the mattress as he starts to tease you again, pushing his tip in slowly through your slit, mesmerized as your needy pussy tries to pull him in.
“Tell me what you want,” he groans as he ruts against you, barely holding it together himself.
You squirm under him as you try to push yourself back onto his cock, “please fuck me, Javi, fuck—please.”
“You’re so fucking wet for me, hermosa, think you can take it all at once?” he murmurs against your skin as he leans over to leave hot kisses against your back.
“Yes…I can, I can,” you babble against the bedsheets.
You hear him adjust his stance behind you as he positions his hands on your hips. He squeezes the soft flesh there hard as he pulls you back onto him and thrusts forward until he’s buried in your fluttering pussy to the base.
Primal sounds rip deeply from both of your throats as he settles inside you. Tears prick the corners of your eyes at the overwhelming relief of finally being so fucking full of him.
He pulls his hips back almost completely as he hisses and moans behind you, entranced by the way your slick shines and covers his entire shaft. When you’re about to beg him for more, he slides back inside you with one slow but forceful thrust, punching the air from your lungs.
He slowly starts to pick up his pace, dragging in and out of you against that spot that makes you lose your breath and see stars.
“Ohh,” a drawn out moan leaves your lips and fills the space of his room. It spurs him on more, gradually thrusting harder with every sweet sound that you bless his ears with.
“Taking me so well, hermosa. Jesus fucking Christ,” he grunts as his hips stutter, your sign that he’s barely hanging on the same as you.
A couple weeks later when he showed again, you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched at the sight of him walking through the door—a nervous surge of excitement at seeing him again.
“Well hey stranger! Thought you’d left me for good,” you said with a million watt smile plastered on your face.
It was an extra hot late July evening. Wearing as little clothes as possible without being an indecent exposure case was basically a life skill here. You had shimmied your way into a pair of cutoff denim shorts and a tight white scoop neck cropped tank. You figured the way the shorts hugged your curves would rack up the tips tonight, at least. You’d been too rushed and irritated to bother with your hair or makeup, so you left your place with your waves wild from the humidity and nothing but the glow of your own sweat on your face.
It didn’t seem to deter Javi from raking his eyes over you from top to bottom as he crossed the floor to take his seat at the bar. You couldn’t help yourself from doing the same to him. His shirt was unbuttoned even lower than usual and the sheen of sweat that glistened across his freckled chest sent your mind to places you weren’t proud of.
“I could never,” he rasped, “came out in this heatwave just to see you.”
“Oh please, you came for the finest whiskey in town,” you teased with a side eye as you grabbed a rocks glass from under the bar and started to pour.
“And to see you,” he smirked as you slid the glass over to him.
“Sure,” you said with a playful eye roll, “So where ya been? Anything fun happen?”
“I don’t know if I’d call it fun,” he said, swirling his drink, “I was traveling around the state—going on job interviews.”
You laughed to yourself at the way he said it like it was the most painful thing he’s ever had to do.
“Interviews huh? You gettin’ antsy at the ranch?” You probed as you leaned your hip against the bar to get comfortable.
He chuckled low, “No, it’s just—I’ve also been trying to figure out what I’m going to do next. The ranch is mostly temporary.”
“Well, look at us. Two wanderin’ souls—at least you’re takin’ action. What kinda jobs you interviewin’ for?”
“Teaching jobs, actually. At whichever university will take me—but I’d prefer it to be one that’s closer by so I can still be at the ranch when my Pops needs me.”
“Oh that’s great Javi!” you reached across the bar to put your hand on top of his, “I’m sure any and all of ‘em would be lucky to have you. I bet there’s a lot you could teach those kids.”
“Yeah, thanks,” he smiled, “I’ve got a bunch of bullshit stored up here I don’t need anymore. Figured I could do something useful with it,” he said as he pointed to his head.
“Well, you just let me know when they all call you back with offers and I’ll treat ya to a night of drinks on me,” you assured with a wink as you skated away to take another customer’s order.
Throughout the night, you both continually caught each other’s eye. Nearly any time you turned around from helping another patron, he was already watching you. You gave small smiles at first, which he’d return. Sometimes he’d look away, embarrassed that you kept catching him, but then something in you shifted. You’d been keeping things friendly between the two of you, but you wanted to push your luck just a bit more to see how he’d react.
You swayed over to the tap to refill a beer and caught his eye again, except this time you looked at him with more fire behind your eyes. It elicited a curious eyebrow raise from him and a barely concealed smirk as he brought his glass to his lips. You turned around to serve the beer to its rightful customer before you turned back around in Javi’s direction, bottom lip pulled in between your teeth, ready to make a move when you froze in place.
You ex.
Your eyes got big, the lip that had been pulled between your teeth now dropped open in shock. Javi looked at you, confused at the direction your cat and mouse game took, before he turned around to see a man standing at the entrance of the bar staring directly at you. A wave of cold ran through your body as he lurked there, waiting for a reaction.
Your eyes flicked back and forth between Javi and this ghost from your past. Part of you wanted to run to Javi—something about him screamed protective to you—yet, another part didn’t want to give your ex the satisfaction of running to another man for help.
You looked over at Javi as you tried to hide the anxiety thrumming through you.“Um, excuse me just a minute,” you said.
You marched over to him, catching his elbow in your hand to guide him back outside. "Mateo, what the fuck are you doing here?” you gritted through your teeth.
“Wanted a beer. Figured I hit up the bar where I have a connection,” he said smugly.
“You showed up here—at my bar—expecting to get free booze? Unbelievable,” you shook your head and crossed your arms, closing yourself off.
“C’mon baby don’t be like that,” he reached out to touch your face. You turned your head away from him in disgust.
“I’m not your baby and you’re not gettin’ anything from me, so get the fuck out of here and don’t come back,” you said sternly.
The two of you went back and forth quietly outside as he tried to appeal to the part of you he knew he’d hurt. It used to work on you when you actually still loved him. You gave him so much of your heart—your life— that he never deserved in the first place.
He wasn’t about to get anything else from you.
You subtly peeked back through the open door of the bar to see if anyone was standing around, possibly waiting to pay or for a refill—anything that you could use as a reason to get out of having this interaction last any longer—when you saw Javi turned around in his chair, watching everything go down.
You turned your focus back to Mateo who had been blabbing on even though you hadn’t been paying any attention.
“Look, can you just—shut the fuck up? I don’t know what you expected to happen here but it’s not going to. Whether its free booze or gettin’ back in my good graces—not gonna happen,” you raised your voice with the hope that he’d understand you’re not fucking around—that you’d get louder if you needed to.
“Pretty rude to tell a guest to shut the fuck up don’t ya think?” he took a step towards you, forcing you to take two backwards.
“You’re not a fuckin’ guest, you’re a trespasser,” you spit back.
“Just let me talk to you,” he said as he reached out to grab your arm.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” you yelled as you jerked your arm from his grip.
“Is there a problem here?” Javi rasped as he lit up a cigarette, slowly slinking his way over to you.
“The fuck do you care? Who the fuck even are you? Some customer? She’s not gonna fuck you, pendejo,” Mateo chuckled.
Javi huffed out a sardonic laugh before taking a long drag of his smoke, his confidence never wavering as he looked down his nose at him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Mateo? Who says somethin’ like that to somebody?” You shoved his shoulder before turning towards Javi, “I’m sorry Javi—go ahead back inside. I’ll take care of this.”
“Are you sure?” Javi said gently. His gaze never broke from yours. He was determined to make sure that when you said you were fine, you really, truly were.
“Yes, it's okay,” you said with an exhale, “nothin’ I haven’t dealt with before.”
He looked at you softly, his deep brown eyes rounded with quiet concern for you. You couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at you like that and you barely even knew him. You felt your chest swell at the realization he might care for you at little more than you thought as he walked back to the entrance of the bar. He didn’t go back inside, but instead, leaned by the door frame casually to keep a watchful eye as he smoked.
You turned your attention back to Mateo. “You need to leave. I have to get back to fuckin’ work,” you said with an exhausted eye roll.
“Yeah, okay. Head back to your dead-end life as a small-town bartender. You’re really gonna go far,” he scoffed.
“Oh, fuck you,” you pointed your finger into his chest,” You’re the reason why I even had to take this job! Or did you forget that you dragged me here just to implode my life when somethin’ new and shiny came along? You don’t get to bulldoze your way back into my life cause she likely dumped your sorry ass. Now go on and get the fuck on away from my bar like the fuckin’ dawg you are before I call the cops.”
He stared you down in silence. He knew you were right. There was no way to dispute it. You weren’t the same sad sack he’d left broken and crying on the floor of your shared apartment three years ago.
“Yeah. Got nothin’ to say, huh?” you smirked, “your car is that way you stupid son of a bitch,” you pointed in the direction of his truck.
He walked away with his tail between his legs and one last look back which was met with a stern middle finger from you.
“Sorry piece of shit,” you huffed as you walked back to the front door where Javi was waiting. “I’m so sorry you had to see that. God, that's embarrassin’.”
“So that was the guy?” He chuckled.
“Hey, don’t judge, okay. I was young and stupid—very stupid. Probably still am for the way he can still upset me all this time later,” you sighed as the two of you walked back to the bar.
Javi hopped back up in his chair, “I definitely have no room to judge—but I know you aren’t stupid for loving someone who pulled the wool over your eyes,” he looked up at you with complete sincerity.
“Thanks, Javi,” you said as you reached across the bar top to place a gentle hand on top of his. You didn’t realize you’d lingered a bit too long until he started to rub his thumb lightly against your skin.
You gasped quietly, coming back into your consciousness. “Sorry, uhm—let me get you another drink.”
As you walked to the center of the bar, you picked up the cleared tabs and tips along the way. There were a couple of stragglers chatting by the door as they worked towards saying their goodbyes for the night.
Once they left, it was just you and Javi.
You grabbed the bottle of whiskey and made your way back over to him, pouring it slowly, “tell me when,” you sighed, exhausted. You couldn’t be fucked to care at this point if he took a little extra, but to your surprise he told you to stop at his usual order of two fingers.
“You don’t want more? Last chance,” you laughed.
“No, but I do want you to pour one for yourself,” he said with a persuasive pout.
“I’ve got to start closin’ up, Javi,” you waved him off playfully.
“Well then, I’ll help you close up again and then you’ll pour one for yourself. It’ll go faster with both of us anyway,” he got up off his chair, pushing his drink off to the side so he could stack the chair in its place.
“Javi,” you said with a coy smile and an eye roll.
“What?” he looked at you quizzically, feigning confusion.
“Fine,” you said as you started to stack chairs on the other side of the bar, “but I get to ask you some questions while we close.”
“I’m an open book,” he assured.
“Right,” you said skeptically. As open as a jail cell, you thought to yourself. “So, how long were you with the DEA?”
“Uhh—I guess about 15 years give or take,” he shrugged and stacked another chair on a table.
“How many of those years did you spend in Colombia?” you walked around the bar, wiping it down as you went along.
“About 10 or 11 probably? Kind of all blurred together, ” he responded shortly as he stacked the last chair on a table in the corner.
“Oh, wow! That’s such a long time,” you said somewhat shocked. “So you pretty much had a whole established life down there and everything.”
“I dunno if I’d say established—had to move around a lot. Travel at a moment’s notice. That kinda stuff,” he seemed less enthusiastic the more you asked as he finished making his way around the bar.
“Well, that seems excitin’—was it?” you asked innocently.
He got quiet as he met you back by the bar top, “don’t know if I’d say that either,” he said quickly, “pour your drink, we’re all closed up,” he said.
You thought it was curious how quickly he changed the subject, but you poured yourself a glass anyway.
You swirled the amber liquid under your nose, taking in the warm notes of oak and caramel. “Can’t remember the last time I let myself have a good glass of whiskey,” you smiled as you brought the rim up to your mouth.
You didn’t miss the way his eyes dropped to your full lips pressed against the glass.
“Mmm,” you hummed, “that’s good shit.”
“I’ll cheers to that,” he agreed and tilted his glass towards you.
You clinked yours against his, the crystal rims meeting with a bright ring, “salud,” you smiled and took another sip.
“Salud,” he tossed back what he had left in his glass.
You lifted up the bottle in a silent ask to see if he wanted more. He gave you a thankful shake of his head, but declined. “Come outside and have a smoke with me though—and bring that gun you said you’ve got. I wanna see you shoot.”
“Uhh—what?” You laughed as you plucked a cigarette from the pack he extended out to you.
“C’mon it’ll be fun—plus, being armed doesn’t mean shit if you can’t shoot,” he grabbed a few empty beer cans from the bag you had filled to line up on the top of the fence outside the bar.
“I hope you know this is fuckin’ patronizin’, Javi,” you teased and followed him anyways, gun in tow.
“I just wanna make sure your ex is too scared to show up here again. I might have some tips for you,” he said with a lopsided grin.
“I don’t remember askin’ you for tips,” you sassed.
He walked over to the side of the building and balanced each can carefully along the uneven wood of the fence. You laughed to yourself at how excited he was about it.
Once the makeshift range was set up, he returned to your side. “Whenever you’re ready,” he said and stepped behind you.
You turned around towards the fence with a huff and grounded your feet to prepare yourself. You placed your cigarette between your lips, letting it dangle loosely as you gripped the gun in your hands then raised your arms until they were out straight. You watched Javi out of the corner of your eye. You swear you saw his breath hitch as he studied the thickness of your thighs as they glistened in the heat while he thought you weren’t paying attention.
“Eyes up here, Peña,” you winked, trying to play off the way his gaze made warmth begin to pool in your lower belly.
He cleared his throat, followed by a raspy “alright, shoot.”
Feeling confident in the way you played it off, you braced yourself and pulled the trigger like it was the most natural thing in the world to you.
A miss.
“Fuck,” you whispered under your breath.
You reset yourself
A graze but still a miss.
“Shit!” You stomped a foot in the dirt, sending a dusty cloud into the air. “Guess I’m kinda rusty. Haven’t made it to the range in a while,” you smirked, slightly embarrassed.
“Give me the gun,” he demanded with his hand outstretched.
“Excuse you, Javier?,” you gasped in offense, ‘May I have the gun, please?’ You mean? Don’t make me tell your daddy you went and lost your manners” you raised a stern eyebrow.
“You wouldn’t,” he walked closer to you, hand still outstretched, waiting for the gun.
“You don’t know me well enough to know if I would or wouldn’t,” you smirked.
“Well…I’d like to,” he kept his eyes locked on yours until you couldn’t take their eagerness anymore.
You smiled coyly and looked away from him, completely caught off guard by his forwardness. The butterflies fluttering in your stomach almost distracted you from your little game of keep away.
“Oh, you’re smooth aren’t ya?” you feigned offense.
He didn’t say anything in response, just plastered a lopsided smirk on his face that all but said “yeah I know” for him.
“May I have the gun? Please?” he pouted as he dragged his thumb across his bottom lip.
You pretended to contemplate giving it to him while your brain felt like it was short-circuiting at his attempt to seduce you into handing it over. You had no doubt that pout usually got him anything he wanted and you didn’t want to give him the immediate win, despite the way he made your pussy clench.
“Please?” he repeated.
You bit your lip and side-eyed him before rolling your eyes and handing it over.
“Fine,” you said and crossed your arms.
“Thank you, hermosa,” he said with a wink.
You stood off to the side, your nervous energy displaced only slightly by the repetitive tapping of your foot as you flicked your cigarette butt into the dirt.
He quietly set himself up, even further back than where you had been standing, then fired off round after round as each can clinked to the ground in succession until they’d all been hit.
“Show off,” you huffed. He shot you a sly smile and slinked back towards you, his chest out proudly.
“So, you want those tips or not?” He teased.
“Fine. Gimme your tips,” you resigned. “How’d you even learn to do that so good anyways?”
“Practice,” he said matter of factly as he re-loaded the gun for you and passed it back.
Before you could shoot off a snarky response, he ran off to gather more cans and set up a new line across the fence before jogging back over to you.
You walked over to the spot you originally chose, much closer than where he’d shot from. He positioned himself behind you to mold your body into what he deemed to be the correct stance. He lightly tapped his knee against the back of one of your legs to get you to spread your legs wider and it shot an unexpectedly strong bolt of arousal to your core. Your breath hitched quietly enough that you hoped he didn’t notice—though the low, half-snicker he huffed out behind you told you your hope was likely useless. As you tried to regain your composure, he placed his hands on your hips to angle your body in the right direction.
You couldn’t help how badly you wanted their warmth to return once he let go.
“Okay—now square your shoulders, put your arms out straight but don’t lock your elbows this time, brace them just enough,” he said as he guided his hands under your arms, his lips so close to your skin his breath tickled the side of your neck, sending another involuntary wave of heat between your legs.
“Um okay, fuck,” you whispered, suddenly lacking in sass after feeling his body pressed against you. You were now acutely aware of how broad his shoulders were as his frame felt like it was engulfing you.
“Okay, now take a deep breath, slowly—in and out—steady yourself,” the low rasp of his voice was so close to you it nearly made your knees give out. “Now, when you’re ready, take the shot,” he said as he backed away to give you space, pleased with his instruction.
You took a moment to breathe one more time in an attempt to refocus yourself now that he had taken a few steps back—but god all you could think about was how the sound of his voice shot straight to your pussy. You wanted to hear it, low and gravely, in your ear as he talked you through something else. You shook your head at your body’s ridiculous response before you pulled the trigger immediately after—as if you were shooting down the thoughts for even fucking crossing your mind.
Clink
You spun around on your heel towards Javi’s direction, your jaw dropped open in amazement at yourself. He smiled back at you, seemingly as proud of your shot as you were.
“Hit one more. Go on,” he smirked as he waved you to turn back around.
“Okay, shoulders back like this, legs out this far, arms—not locked,” you whisper to yourself as you go through the inventory of tips he just gave you. “And breathe,” you exhaled.
Clink
Breathe.
Clink
You jumped up in excitement while Javi came to stand next to you again with a pat on the back and a proud “that’a girl.”
“Thank you, Javi!” You said excitedly as you threw your arms around his neck for an appreciative hug. Your wish to have his hands on you again was granted as he wrapped his arms around your waist cautiously, as if he felt like he might cross a line if he held you any tighter.
You’d come to the conclusion that although he clearly knew the effect he had on women, he was still a born and raised Texas boy at heart. He didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable despite the way you threw yourself onto him.
You pulled back, your arms still lazily draped over his shoulders as you looked over to the fence, proud that all the cans were now lying on the ground.
You didn’t even realize how close you really were until you turned to face him again. You dragged your eyes from where they’d landed on his lips up until you met his gaze. There was something more behind his eyes now, an ounce of nervous restraint infiltrating their usual intensity.
“Can I…can I kiss you?” He asked as his eyes flitted back and forth between yours in anticipation.
“Thought you’d never ask,” you breathed out as your lashes fluttered.
It started out innocent at first, his hand coming up to cup your cheek as he gently pulled your lips to his. Your knees wavered at how soft they felt against yours as his mustache tickled your upper lip. He broke the kiss first, his lips hovering just above yours. He stroked his thumb gently across your cheekbone as he waited for you to be the one to make the next move if you wanted.
You definitely wanted more than that. You needed more than that. The suppressed arousal that threatened to overtake you earlier returned as you surged towards his lips again. He let out a surprised moan into your kiss and tangled his hand in the hair at the back of your head as you deepened it, pulling you closer to him. He teased his tongue across your bottom lip, coaxing you to part your lips wider. You obeyed without hesitation and slowly rolled your tongue against his. He pulled you into his chest harder, more desperate, and licked into your mouth pulling a quiet whimper from you.
“Wanna lock up and meet me at my place?” he murmured against your lips. You nodded your head quickly before he kissed you again and sent you off towards the bar with a light tap on your ass.
You gasped in surprise as you looked back over your shoulder at him, swaying your hips seductively to toy with him. He watched you with furrowed brows, his hand twitching at his side. You jogged back over to him and threw your arms over his shoulders as you crashed your lips against his. When you took a step back, breaking the kiss, he chased after you as you guided him to back you up against your car.
“Follow me?” he asked in between your increasingly desperate kisses.
“Mmm hmm,” you nodded and bit your lip, your pupils already blown out and wild with anticipation.
You’d dated occasionally in the three years since ending things with Mateo—had your fair share of hookups too—but none of them piqued your interest the way Javi did. He was different and you wanted to find out why.
He turned back to look at you in your car one last time before he hopped up into his truck. Once you were out of his direct line of sight, you leaned your forehead against your steering wheel and squealed to yourself.
You followed him off the main road, down a darker gravel road that led to the Peña ranch. Since Javi had returned from Colombia, he and Chucho had worked to build a small suite that extended off the main house so that he could have more privacy. Sleeping in his childhood bedroom as a man in his 40’s just wasn’t very appealing.
You barely had a chance to greet him at the front door before he was on you again. He fumbled trying to get the keys into the deadbolt lock, too focused on keeping himself pressed to you.
You hummed into the kiss, “mmm, do you need me to step out of the way?” He took the brief reprieve to eyeball the lock behind you, finally sliding the key in.
“Nope,” is all he said as the sound of the lock opening hit your ears. He pushed the door open as he dropped his head to your neck, leaving wet kisses against your heated skin. You gasped, then bit your lip as you tangled your fingers in his hair.
He kicked the door closed behind him as he pushed you further backward into the darkness of his apartment until your back hit the wall with a gentle thud. He kept you pinned there as he captured your lips heatedly. You fidgeted with the buttons on his shirt, your fingers shaking in anticipation for whatever plans he had for you. Once you’d managed to pop the final one open, he shrugged the shirt from his shoulders without ever breaking the kiss.
You began to toy with his belt buckle, but before you could tear it open, he dragged his hands up the soft skin under your shirt and removed it over your head in one smooth motion. This was the only time he hesitated as he took time to revel in your tits being bare for him for the first time.
Your chest heaved under the heat of his gaze as you looked up at him through your lashes. He cupped your cheek gently before he pulled you back in for a breathless kiss and started walking you backwards towards his bedroom. The closer you got, the more impatient both of you became, panting and gripping at each other in a frantic manifestation of the tension that had been building for weeks now.
When the back of your legs hit his bed, you laughed devilishly as he pushed you backwards onto the mattress. He leaned on an arm, hovering above you as he dipped his head to suck your nipple into his mouth.
You hissed at the sensation of his tongue rolling against it, your head tilting back as you arched into him, needy for more. You fumbled with the button on your shorts with a frustrated whine.
“I got you, hermosa, hold on,” he mumbled against your skin as he kissed his way down your soft curves. As he moved to undo the metal button, he planted slow kisses across your belly where the top of your shorts sat.
“Javi,” you whined and rolled your hips in frustration.
“So impatient,” he rasped as he pulled your zipper down, "Now, stand up,” he commanded, his voice even more low and gravely than when he was instructing you back at the bar.
You obeyed, unsteady on your legs, your pussy aching for any kind of touch when he pulled your shorts and panties off your hips together, letting them crumple to the floor around your feet.
You stood in front of him, now completely bare, a weird mix of vulnerability and want coursing through you as he exhaled sharply through his nose. You studied each other as quiet pants filled the room when your eyes dropped to where the outline of his cock was straining against his jeans. Desire coursed through you as you closed the space between you, your fingers delicately pulling on the waistband of his jeans before sliding down to undo his belt buckle. Once it clinked open, you wasted no time undoing them the rest of the way, your hand immediately dipping under the waistband to grip his length.
Your mouth dropped open at how thick he was as he throbbed in your grip. You rolled your thumb over the tip where slick precum was already leaking from him, “oh my god, Javi,” you breathed.
Unable to take anymore, you helped him peel off his jeans as you kneeled onto the floor in front of him. He hissed as he finally sprung free, enamored by the way you watched as it bounced in front of your face.
You scooted closer to him on your knees and looked up innocently as you wrapped your hand around his girth before you gently kissed his leaking head. He exhaled long and slow above you, as if he’d been holding his breath the entire night until now. You let out a pleased hum as you licked the underside of his tip before wrapping your lips around it and pulling off again with a pop.
“Fuck,” he panted, almost pathetically. You whined as you took him between your lips again and started stroking his shaft with slow movements of your wrist. He reached down and twisted his fingers in your hair, his jaw dropped as he watched you work him before he slowly started to guide your movements, gently pushing and pulling you up and down his length.
When you switched up and swallowed him all the way to the base, he choked out a moan and cursed under his breath before pulling you off and forcing you to stand. Before you could even get your bearings, he pulled you into him for a breathless kiss and walked you backwards to the bed. You scooted yourself back further onto the mattress as he chased your mouth, his length gently tapping against your dripping core as he moved between your legs.
You looked up at him, heated as your chest heaved. He sat back on his knees, taking all of you in before crossing the point of no return—when the only thing that matters is chasing his own release. You whined quietly as you spread your legs slowly, watching him intensely as his eyes turned even darker as they dropped to your throbbing heat. He only took one last look up to your face before he was on top of you again. You gripped his shoulders desperately as he lined himself up against your entrance and pushed himself in with the same unbridled franticness that brought you here to begin with. You gasped at the sudden stretch, your arm lifting up behind you to involuntarily grip onto the headboard as he groaned into the crook of your neck as if he’d been waiting to feel you his entire life.
You both stilled for a moment as you adjusted to him inside of you, fluttering around him as he twitched and throbbed. “Feel so good, baby—fuck,” he breathed against your skin. You hummed as you kissed his shoulder before scraping your teeth against his skin, overwhelmed by the way he filled you.
That was your last moment of stillness before he started fucking into you wildly, all the tension you’d built between you in the last few months translating into the way he thrusted his body into yours. You clutched at his shoulders and wrapped your legs around his waist, holding on as you let him overtake you.
Small gasps and moans punched out of you with every thrust of his hips, pulling increasingly loud grunts from deep in his throat. The sounds of your pussy squelching around him as his skin slapped against yours filled the room, spurring the both of you on even more. You rolled your hips against his, meeting each thrust as you chased your orgasm.
He hovered over your lips as you shared pants between needy, messy kisses before he adjusted himself to hook one of your legs in the nook of his elbow. Your eyes fluttered shut as a loud cry escaped your lips from the deepness of the new angle and the way it allowed him to rub perfectly against that sweet spot inside your walls. The pressure that had been building inside you was threatening to finally explode.
“That it right there, hermosa?” he choked out, looking down at you with glazed over eyes, completely lost in his pursuit to see you fall apart around him.
“Ohhh, yes, mmhmm,” you panted as you dipped a hand down to rub delicate circles against your clit. The contrast between the slow drag of your fingers through your slick and the pace he fucked you pushed you that much closer to your end.
What finally sent you over was the way he groaned, long and low, when he looked down between your bodies and realized you were touching yourself. You eyes squeezed shut as your body seized in his arms, your free arm flying up to wrap around his shoulder to hold on as he fucked you through your orgasm and chased his own.
He followed behind you shortly after as he dropped your leg and braced himself on both arms, entrapping you between them. He kissed you as his thrusts stuttered and lost their rhythm, then came with a wrecked sound, grinding his hips into you as he spurted hot ropes inside your walls. His hands had become wrapped in your hair and he kept them there as he slowly rolled his hips, fucking his spend deeper inside of you. You hissed under him and guided his lips to yours, then teasingly rolled your tongue against his bottom lip.
“Mmm,” you moaned quietly into his mouth as you both came down from your high, your breath beginning to steady though he was still buried inside you.
“Did so good, hermosa,” he rasped hotly against your neck before he leaned himself up on one arm to look down at the fucked out look on your face. “So fucking pretty,” he murmured as he traced his thumb across your cheekbone in a deceptively sweet gesture.
You blinked your eyes slowly, completely exhausted in your post-orgasm bliss as he pulled out of you with a strangled groan. You sighed at the loss of his thickness as he rolled onto his back next to you.
You scooted yourself into his side, draping an arm over his middle and rested your head against his chest as you traced your fingers lazily against his skin. As you settled again, he stroked your hair absentmindedly as you both returned to your bodies. You laid still in the quiet of his room, letting the rise and fall of his chest ground you.
Eventually, he rolled over to reach over to his nightstand and grabbed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter that were there waiting for him. He pushed himself up so that his back was against the headboard before he brought the cigarette to his lips and placed the flame to the tip.
You sighed and propped yourself up on an elbow as you watched him take a long drag. You smirked at how fucked out he looked as he handed it to you for a hit. You lazily plucked it from his fingers and brought it to your kiss-swollen lips, inhaling slowly before passing it back to him. You let yourself savor the buzz of the nicotine as it injected some life back into you.
Finally, Javi spoke.
“Holy shit,” he huffed with a lop-sided smirk.
“You can fuckin’ say that again,” you shot back as you collapsed into his pillows.
He chuckled under his breath and passed the cigarette to you again. As you stared at the ceiling and took another drag, your mind went back to the bar earlier. The images of the way his face dropped and demeanor changed when you were asking him questions ran through our head. You started to connect that his gruff exterior might be some kind of defense mechanism—a way to keep himself safe from a threat that no longer exists. You weren’t fully knowledgeable about what happened to him while he was gone, but you wanted to be able to give him a space to talk about it. Be someone who could try to understand. To make him see that he doesn’t have to shut himself off.
You delicately handed the cigarette back to him as you contemplated, spurred on by your growing care for him as you asked, “you know, earlier, at the bar?”
“Yeah, which part?” he sighed as he scooted himself back down the bed, his head coming to land on the pillow next to yours.
“The part when we were asking each other questions…I feel like we didn’t get to finish since we had closed up and then…well,” you laughed.
“Okay,” he laughed skeptically, “what else do you wanna know?”
“Well,” you paused briefly, “you seemed to have it pretty good here before you went to Colombia. What made you wanna leave?”
He pursed his lips as he averted his eyes elsewhere—anywhere but your face.
He shrugged, “I just—wanted to make a difference. Wanted to help people.”
“That’s very admirable of you,” you said as you turned onto your side to face him.
“If you say so,” he breathed out as he reached over to stub the last of the cigarette out in the ashtray.
“Oh stop, of course it is,” you smiled, “did you like it there? Since you were down there for so long?”
“There were things I liked—was the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen, warm people…” he trailed off.
“…but,” you started.
You waited as the air hung thick with all the words you thought he might’ve liked to say, but couldn’t—or didn’t want to. He laid there, his brow furrowed in concentration, his jaw tensing and releasing as he thought.
“Saw a lot of people die…” the lines between his eyebrows deepened even more, “…I hurt a lot of people,” he said it as if the words were ripped from his throat involuntarily by some force outside of him.
“Oh Javi, I’m so sorry…I’m sure you only did what you had to do,” you looked at him affectionately.
“Would you stop that?” He asked defensively.
“Wh—stop what?” you sat up quickly.
“Acting like everything I tell you is fine or justifiable. You have no fucking idea what I did or didn’t have to do,” he said as he stood from the bed.
A jolt of anxiety replaced your previous sense of calm, the sudden shift in his demeanor shook you. Your hands started to shake and your brain got fuzzy as a lump formed in your throat.
“I—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say anything wrong! I just—” you stopped short.
“You just what? Want a chance to act like everyone else around here when it comes to my own experience?”
“No, Javi, I—” you went to start again before he cut you off again.
“You what?” he scoffed.
“Nothing, nothing. I’m sorry,” you stuttered.
“I think you should go,” he sighed as he sat up on the edge of the bed.
You looked at him with watery eyes, but willed yourself to keep them from falling. You didn’t even really know this man. You weren’t going to leave with him seeing you cry.
“Yeah, you’re right. I should,” you said as you raised from his bed to gather your clothes that had been scattered around the room. You hurriedly and silently slipped yourself into your shorts, shoving your panties in a pocket before pulling your tank over your head.
You watched from the corner of your eye as Javi grabbed his jeans from the floor and pulled them on, running his hands over his face in frustration.
All you could think about as you headed for the door was how relieved you were that you drove your own car.
You could hear his footsteps as he caught up behind you, “hey, wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t even worry ‘bout it. Should’ve just minded my fuckin’ business,” you said without even looking in his direction as you shoved your feet into your shoes.
As you went to turn the doorknob, he stopped you by placing his hand on top of yours. You turned to look at him for the first time since he told you to leave. You could read the remorse all over his face. The part of you that cares for him wanted to make it better. The other part wondered if you needed to be more careful around him. For all you know, he could be dangerous. He said he’s hurt people and just you let yourself go home with him without anyone else knowing where you were.
As if he were reading your mind, he resigned and dropped his hand. You kept your stare focused on his as you swung the door open, then turned away without looking back as you stepped over the threshold.
After that night you didn’t see him again for at least a month. Maybe longer. It was hard to tell after you decided to push everything about him from your mind the best you could—the intensity of his gaze, the way he lit a cigarette, the way the lights in the bar softened his features…the way he fucked you. You didn’t know if you should be hurt or angry or—hell—even just indifferent about how things went down. It’s not like the two of you really were anything outside of some heavy flirting and a quick hookup.
You’ve never been one to not be able to move on from a one-night stand. Why does this one feel so awful?
You guessed you couldn’t really blame him for not coming back. After sitting with your thoughts after you’d left his place, you felt awful for prodding him about it. You should’ve just left it alone after he got short with you at the bar that night. Whatever walls he built that you wanted to try and take a peek through were very clearly up for a reason. You just hoped that you’d be able to slowly tear them down. What you didn’t anticipate was that even just a few basic questions about his past could spur such a response.
That is, until you truly understood his past wasn’t a normal one.
It’s not like you could call him to apologize—you never exchanged numbers— and you didn’t think it was your place to ask for his number from someone else. You didn’t know if he’d want to be contacted. All of your interactions besides when he took you home were in this bar. You didn’t even know if he was still in Laredo or if he had accepted one of those teaching positions he talked about interviewing for.
Even though Laredo was a small town, Javi kept a relatively low profile for someone everybody pretended to know everything about. His absence only added fuel to their gossip, none of which should be taken seriously, but you guessed you weren’t the only one who hadn’t seen him around much lately, if at all.
You were stocking the bar, getting the place ready to open for the evening. It was a Saturday, so you were trying to make sure you had everything you’d need without having to run off to grab things constantly. The owner, Mike, had come in to help you out today as there had been a particularly large delivery that would’ve been difficult for you to manage alone before opening the doors. The two of you worked quietly, randomly cracking jokes or asking questions as you went along.
You walked over to a corner table to start taking chairs down and started to make your way down the row when you heard a knock at the entrance. You spun around, ready to tell whoever it was that you weren’t quite open just yet, but you were met with a familiar pair of soft brown eyes. You froze in place, as if you saw a ghost, as you wracked your brain for words. The two of you kept your eyes locked on each other. Javi opened his mouth like he was getting ready to say something when your boss rounded the bar to greet him.
“Well hey there, Javi, come on over here and have a seat at the bar. I’ll pour you up somethin’ real quick,” he patted him on the back as he guided him to the bar, giving you an opportunity to disappear into the back office.
“What the fuck,” you whispered to yourself as you flopped into a desk chair. Your heart was racing in your chest. You leaned forward and propped your elbows up on the desk to hide your face in your hands, your foot frantically tapping against the floor as anxiety flooded you.
You jumped when Mike quietly knocked on the door as he entered the office.
“Fuck, you scared me,” you breathed out with your hand placed over your heart. You tried to act normally, a smile plastered on your face as he side-eyed you. You grabbed the cash drawer and started counting as he hovered.
“You wanna talk about somethin’?” he said with an eyebrow raised.
“Uhh, no? Why?” you said before you started mumbling numbers to yourself as you continued counting the coins.
He sighed heavily at your avoidance, “just go and talk to him.”
“What do you mean? Talk to who?” you asked as if there wasn’t one other person besides the two of you in the bar.
He gave you an incredulous stare, “Peña.”
You rolled your eyes, “Ugh…how did you know?”
“Larry was in here with Luisa the other night. Didn’t know much but you know how that goes with her. I put two n’ two together,” he chuckled.
“Good Ol’ Luisa,” you laid back in the chair with a heavy sigh. “Fine—but if I’m not back in 20 minutes, get your gun,” you teased.
As you appeared from the office, Javi stood from his seat at the bar. He fidgeted with the sunglasses in his hands as you marched over to him with purpose and caught him by the elbow.
“Outside,” is all you said as you led him out the door. You pushed him further out, away from the entrance and closer to your car where there was a little more privacy from any potential prying eyes.
“Really didn’t think I’d see you back around here this time for sure,” you said as you crossed your arms tight across your chest, “think I’m gonna have to revoke your free drink pass though.”
That earned you a light chuckle from him, “guess that’s fair.”
“But really, what are you here for? There’s five other bars within a two mile radius you could hit up,” you questioned as you tilted your head curiously.
“I like this bar,” he smirked.
“Javier—” you rolled your eyes, “you can’t flirt your way outta this one.”
“I know…I know,” he paused briefly in between his thoughts, “I, uh—I just wanted to come apologize to you. I know I shouldn’t have waited this long to do it but the way I acted towards you has been eating at me and—I’m sorry. I’m trying to get better about that,” he said as he averted his eyes.
You let a silence settle between you before you got brave enough to finally make your own apology.
You took in a deep breath, then exhaled slowly as you started,“if I’m bein’ honest…I’ve been wantin’ to apologize to you too,” you confessed.
“To me? For what? I was the asshole,” he looked at you, puzzled.
“Well—for crossing a line. I pushed too far. I was just curious about you, I guess,” you sighed.
“Everyone seems to be,” he scoffed.
“Maybe so,” you spoke gently, “but I don’t think my motives are quite the same as theirs,” you said with a knowing eyebrow raised.
“What do you mean?” He shifted in place and crossed his arms over his chest.
“I actually wanted to know you,” you said softly.
He was quiet as he absorbed your words. It almost seemed foreign that someone was apologizing to him—as if he’s always been the one who’s had to apologize no matter how much he’d been hurt by others.
“Uhm—thank you,” he said quietly, “navigating things since I’ve been back—it’s been hard. Everywhere I go people tell me I’m a hero, but every time they do all I’m reminded of is my failures when I just—kind of want to forget.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me, Javi,” you reached out to gently rub his shoulder comfortingly. “I’m so sorry—the last thing I wanted was to make you feel that way too.”
He sighed heavily, like a weight had been lifted off his chest, “Well, in other news—I wanted to tell you I was offered a job,” he said.
“Oh my god, that’s fuckin’ great! Which school offered?” You asked excitedly.
“Uh, A&M International,” he smiled—one that made his eyes crinkle at the corners.
A real one, a modestly proud one.
“That’s perfect since you wanted to stay close. You’ll be right up the street! I’m sure your Pops is thrilled. How you feelin’ about all of it?” you smiled back. You truly were happy for him. It was a chance to give himself a purpose again. A chance to try to move on.
He chuckled under his breath, “actually kind of nervous. I don’t remember starting a new job feeling so daunting.”
“You’re gonna be great. I bet you’ll be everyone’s favorite instructor in no time,” you teased.
He laughed, “I’m not so sure about that.”
“What? Are you gonna be a hard-ass or somethin’ professor Peña?” You smirked playfully.
“I guess we’ll find out,” he shrugged.
“Well, come on back inside. I’ll reinstate your free drink pass for a celebration. I promised it to ya anyway.”
After the two of you had cleared your consciences between yourselves, there wasn’t very much time wasted in the two of you starting to hook up again.
You decided instead of trying to learn about the old Javi, you’d put it to rest and try to learn the new Javi—though it all still lingered in the back of your mind.
As you started to spend more time with him, the cracks of what neither of you dared to talk about increasingly showed. It could be anything from him going quiet of a sudden, his eyes focused somewhere off in the distance like he wasn’t present with you, here, on this plane of existence to giving himself overly harsh criticisms, especially after he started his new job. Nothing he did, in his eyes, was good enough. He never thought he was giving enough during his lectures or during office hours, even though he’d stay late frequently or bring work home with him.
At least with that, you could reassure him. Tell him it’s okay. That it’s something new and no one is expecting him to be perfect at it yet—but you always wished you could do something more.
You forced yourself to avoid questioning him or acknowledging the other stuff.
If he wanted to talk about anything more serious, you’d let him do it on his own terms.
You guess you convinced yourself that as long as he kept fucking you like a man with nothing to lose, you could accept it. It was a little routine you’d carved out for yourselves—a night of flirting at the bar before he’d take you home to completely ruin you for anyone else.
It still left an empty feeling in your chest every time you’d gather your things to leave. Sometimes he’d walk you to the door to give you a goodbye kiss so intense that it made you wonder if this time could be the last time. Sometimes he’d have already fallen asleep next to you after laying together quietly—but you never stayed the night after the two of you had been wrapped up together in his sheets no matter how close you felt like you were growing.
You did it to protect yourself and you assumed he never asked you to stay for the same reason.
You chant his name over and over as he pounds into you. Your fingers grip the sheets as if they’re the only thing tethering you to the Earth while behind you, Javi grunts and pants, drunk on the way the flesh of your ass bounces against his hips with each thrust.
“You’re close aren’t you, hermosa?” he chokes out.
“Yes, yes,” you moan, tears now freely streaming from your eyes and staining the sheets.
“Fuck, wanna give you what you pretty girl. You want it?”
“Please,” you cry out.
“You gotta tell me who’s pussy this is,” he slows his pace, dragging himself through your velvety walls tauntingly slowly. He knows that it drives you insane—that you love the way you can feel every inch of him this way.
All you can do underneath him at this point is whimper pathetically.
He leans over your back so he can rasp into your ear, “easy, hermosa. I’ve got you,” he murmured nearly incoherently, “now, tell me who’s pussy this is.”
“Fuck Javi!” you whine as he plants wet kisses to your shoulder.
He groans behind you as he tries to maintain the little control he has left, “I know pretty girl, tell me—please.”
You hummed in satisfaction hearing him start to beg now as he pulses inside of you. You know as soon as you say it, he’ll be sent over the edge.
“Oh my god, Javi,” you pant as you start to fuck yourself back on him needily as you chase your end, “it’s yours. It’s yours.”
You repeat it over and over until you see white flash behind your eyelids as you come with a silent moan, your mouth in a perfect O before a wrecked cry pulls from your chest. Your body goes limp in his arms as he continues fucking you through the length of your orgasm.
A strangled moan pulls from his lips as his thrusts falter and his grip on your hips tightens, “fuck, fuck,” he pants as he thrusts hard into you one last time before he swells and spills into you with a drawn out moan.
You whimper underneath him with every twitch of his cock as he paints your walls with thick ropes. As he comes down from his high, he finally allows your hips to sink back down to the bed while he drapes himself over your back, kissing and nipping at the crook of your neck while he holds you.
“Mmm,” you hum, a satisfied grin spread across your lips as your breathing returns to normal. Javi intertwines his fingers in yours as he places reverent kisses across your back.
You gasp quietly when he reluctantly drags himself from your heat and collapses onto his back next to you. You lay there, the grin still plastered on your face and your eyes fluttered closed in complete contentment.
He props himself on his side before he brings a hand over to caress the soft flesh of your ass, “you okay, hermosa?”
“I’m fuckin’ great. So great,” you giggle exhaustedly.
“C’mere,” he whispered and rolled onto his back again so that he could guide you to lay on his chest.
You snuggle up beside him and rest in your usual post-sex spot, counting down the time to when you’ll have to leave again. After the exhausting session you just had, you figure it’ll be a fall asleep night instead of a goodbye kiss night.
You lay with him in the quiet until the light circles he was tracing on your arm slow to a stop, your sign that you need to open your eyes before you fall asleep here too. You stealthily sit up and slink from under the sheets without disturbing him too much. As usual, once the weight of you isn’t holding him in place, he instinctively rolls over onto his side, his back facing you, as he settles again.
You sit on the edge of the bed and with one last look back at his sleeping form, you lean over and place a delicate kiss to his exposed shoulder before you rise from the bed to search for your dress in the dark.
Once you find it, you carefully sit back down and slip it over your head, taking one last moment before you head towards the door.
This became your normal.So you’re completely thrown off guard when you feel a hand wrap around your wrist as you go to stand, followed by a still half-asleep, “stay.”
Tagging some folks who showed interest (sorry if I forget anyone I don't have a proper tag list or anything lol) @ak-vintage @gothcsz @bergamote-catsandbooks @myownwholewildworld @cozymochaa @kedsandtubesocks
Oh man, this is SO FREAKING GOOD - I haven't read such an amazing long-read one-shot in a while and this HIT THE SPOT! Amazing writing and a gorgeous story!!
Hi! Love all your stuff. Also hoping to follow some other writers. Could you recommend some fic writers on here that you think deserve some more love? 💗
Hey, nonnie! Absolutely I can! Here are some writers that I love and respect — @milla-frenchy @sawymredfox @toxicanonymity @604to647 @kokoluwie @schnarfer @pedge-page @time-for-my-weekly-spanking @sp00kymulderr @baronessvonglitter @beardedjoel @quaritchscupquake @visionsofyouandme @shadowqueen2024 @bergamote-catsandbooks @pedges-world @arcane-fox @corazondebeskar @weirdfangirly @undutchable11 @sin-djarin @sixhours @littlemisspascal @tateypots @megangovier @katyispunk @littlepadika @easybbgrl @missadangel @criticallyacclaimedstranger @ess-evo @gutter-noise @rosharanfiction @magpiepills I’m sure I’m forgetting someone, there’re so many talented people here♥️
Please, reblog the stories that you enjoy! This way more people will get to read them.
Thank you so much for mentioning me among such wonderful writers. 🥹♥️
There are so many great writers out there, so many talented people that deserve to be celebrated. I will forget many but let me try to add some to this wonderful list:
@intheorangebedroom @frannyzooey @myownwholewildworld @ak-vintage @maggiemayhemnj @oonajaeadira @avastrasposts @djarins-cyare @kedsandtubesocks @the-blind-assassin-12 @letsgobarbs @burntheedges @sizzlingcloudmentality @grogusmum @iknowisoundcrazy @almostfoxglove
I'm sorry in advance because I know I am forgetting people, but please know I love and respect every single person I read. ♥️
What a great list! Thank you for mentioning me, Cha 🙏🏻💖
I’d like to add some more wonderful writers, if I may? I have a list of over 1200 authors whose Pedro fics I’m working my way through with the intention of reblogging one per day on my sideblog. Here are 50 of my favourites so far:
I wish there were a few more fics but the beginning of the month was crazy…I made up for it a bit towards the end.
Thanks to everyone who shared their beautiful work with us, you’re doing amazing and I’m thrilled to see what you have in store for next year and discover more amazing authors as well!
Mind the tags before engaging in any of these fics and if you happen to read any of my recommendations please let the authors know that you enjoyed their work! Comments and reblogs are our greatest joy.
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Full list under the cut, this is all adult content, so please, stay away if you are under 18.
Joel Miller:
The Journey - Joel Miller x fem reader by @milla-frenchy
Summary: after Joel and Ellie reach the University of Eastern Colorado, they find out that the Fireflies relocated to Salt Lake City. Attacked by a group of men, they barely manage to escape the place. When Ellie is kidnapped by the same group, weakened and injured Joel goes after her, and on his way he crosses paths with you
Blast from the past - ex husband!Joel Miller x fem!reader by @aurorawritestoescape
Summary: to your dismay you run into your hot ex husband at a supermarket parking lot and at first glance it seems that Joel just wants to chat but as you two are sharing memories of the past life, you realize that talking isn’t the only thing on his mind.
Bad Mrs Claus - sleazy mall Santa!Joel Miller x f!reader by @baronessvonglitter
Summary: You hire a Santa Claus for your company Christmas party, only to find out he's a blast from your past..
Feral - a joel miller x reader story - Series (ongoing) by @mcthsman
Summary: Part man, part beast, Joel Miller lives in solitude a few miles away from Jackson. At fifty-seven years old and without a Soulbond, Joel can't coexist with others— a man without his mate crazed by time and age. Until the day he sees her, the girl with tangerine blossoms in her hair and a laugh that echoes through the trees. So, he tracks her down. Hunts her through the woods, and brings home a girl that is not the wilting flower he expects.
Gingerbread - a Joel Miller x reader story by @mcthsman
Summary: You love all sorts of holidays, and Joel loves making you happy. An innocent night of building gingerbread houses together quickly develops into something else.
Crosshairs - Jackson!Joel Miller x Javier Peña - series (ongoing) by @rosharanfiction
Summary: When Javier Peña rides into Jackson, Joel feels something shift in the pit of his stomach.
You rock! - joel miller x neurodivergent!plus sized! reader by @ezraispunk
Summary: Joel sees an unusually dressed girl singing at a bar and is immediately drawn to her. He comes back every week until he gets the chance to ask her out.
Leather and Lace - Joel Miller x f!reader by @bemyluvr
Summary: in the early hours of the morning, joel laces up his brand new boots—but you aren’t ready for him to leave, wrapping yourself tight against his leg—joel gets an idea.
Little Pet - Joel Miller x f!reader x Reed Richards by @paulyenvol6
Summary: You are aware of the typical roughness of your boyfriend Joel's touch, but today everything is different with his friend Reed joining you. Although he is timid and careful at first, apprehensive about hurting you, he starts to get more confident the longer Joel reassures him that you can take it...
Cain's Curse - Jackson!Joel Miler x f!reader by @ishestillapunk - Series (ongoing)
Summary: You came to Jackson hoping for a fresh start, to leave everything behind. But some things don’t stay buried. And Joel, your father’s old friend, is there to remind you of that.
Aftercare with Joel - Joel Miller x f!chubby!reader by @ezraispunk
Summary: cute little oneshot about joel being a sweetheart and treating his women real good after sex :(
His to keep - dark!Joel Miller x f!reader by @littledes1re
Summary: Since the day Joel found you bleeding on his doorstep, he’s kept you…fed, warm, quiet. All he asks in return is obedience: to him, his rules, and the chart. But when you sneak out—when you break the one rule that really matters—you’re not just wondering how he’ll punish you. You’re wondering if he’ll make you beg for it.
Santa Joel’s present - Santa!Joel x f!reader by @the-sophverse
Summary: Joel gives you his own kind of White Christmas.
Show me - Joel Miller x f!reader by @mirrormauve
Summary: you are sure your desire is a sin
Yo u rock part 2 - joel miller x neurodivergent!plus sized! reader by @ezraispunk
Every inch - Joel Miller x f!reader by @isabellaboo2025
Summary: After you get criticised for your weight on a night out, Joel shows you exactly why he loves you.
Our little secret - Uncle!Joel x f!reader by @tateypots
Summary: You cross a line with your uncle.
Cowboy role play with Joel - Joel x f!reader by @cinnxmxngxrl
Summary: The thought of Joel in a cowboy hat is enough to make your thighs clench. That’s exactly why you suggest another roleplay night, as cowboy and barmaid this time.
Carnal - dark!joel, stalker!joel, dbf!joel, bestfriendsdad! joel - by @pascalsbby - series (completed) chapter 1, 2, 3
Summary: You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another, and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth.
When he turned from the nude woman painted on the wall, a version of you in oil, to the warm, guts and roaring blood of you- the gash completely tore itself open in the moments it took for his eyes to eat you in. Every nerve ending in his forty-plus years heeding, 7 trillion of them.
Clint Flood:
You're just my type (b plus) - Vampire!Husband!Clint x f!reader by @hauntedinkk
Summary: your vampire husband clint feeds and gets you off at the same time.
Santa Baby - Husband!Clint Flood x Wife!reader by @cozymochaa
Summary: you want to try out your new outfits with Clint.
Clint and a chair - Clint Flood x f!reader by @daltoncharm
smutty Drabble
The Pilfered Princess - henchman!Clint Flood x f!reader by @baronessvonglitter
Summary: Clint's mission is to bring you back to the Count of Alameda. Little does he know you're not what he's looking for, but exactly what he needs.
Reed Richards:
Better Man - Reed Richards x f!reader by @cosmickid-inmotion
Summary: Reed and Sue are distant since the events of F4, feels resentment and hides himself away. That is, until he meets a young girl who needs help, taking her in as Franklin's nanny. As he drifts further from Sue, Reed drifts closer to the adoring young woman's orbit, seeking validation from her he isn't getting from his wife.
Snowed in - Reed Richards x f!reader by @hauntedinkk
Summary: you get snowed into the lab at the baxter building with professor reed.
Harry Castillo:
Your Diary - Harry Castillo , Lucien De Leon X OFC by @everybodylovedcontractors
Summary: This is my version of Bridget Jones' Diary with Pedro Pascal characters. This chapter takes place in January.
Ex Education - Ex husband!Harry Castillo x f!reader - Series (ongoing) by @missadangel
Summary: Born and raised on the Upper East Side — mother’s an actress, stepfather runs an empire that’s suddenly “under review,” and your brother’s the reason you have gray hair. You married perfection in your 20s Years after your picture-perfect marriage went up in smoke, you left New York to “heal.” Now you’re back, in your 30s — and saw your ex-husband on the cover of TIME. Wow. He got richer, your family’s going down, and somehow, you ended up working for him. Cried? Yes. Bad idea? Definitely. What could possibly go wrong?
Frankie Morales:
Temporary Joys - Frankie Morales x f!reader by @baronessvonglitter
Summary: in the aftermath of your breakup, Frankie can't get you off his mind or out of his heart..
Marcus Acacius:
Venus and Mars - Marcus Acacius x f!reader by @baronessvonglitter
Summary: The celebrated General Marcus Acacius is gifted Rome's finest virgin
Javier Peña:
December - Husband!Javier Peña x f!reader by @cozymochaa
Summary: it's December 1st, and you only have one thing you want for Christmas
Ted Garcia:
Look at the lights - Ted Garcia x f!reader by @the-sophverse
Summary: Decorating the house for the holidays turns into something more with Ted. But between quiet laughter, whispered words and soft caresses, the holiday only feels secondary.
Sleigh Ride - Ted Garcia x f!assistant!reader by @cozymochaa
Summary: Ted is forced to dress up as Santa for charity and children. At the end of the night, you get a ride in his sleigh.
Quid pro quo - Ted Garcia x f!reader by @millermouth
Summary: Ted Garcia has something you want. And you? Well, let's just say, you have something to offer.
My work:
Christmas Lights - Husband!Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: you try to rekindle the Christmas spirit in Joel… in a somewhat particular way.
Christmas with the Millers - Husband!Joel x f!reader x brother in law!Tommy
Summary: Christmas threesome with Joel and Tommy
Clitwarming - Sub!Pedro boy of your choice x afab!reader
Summary: Just a little thought that crossed my mind this morning, I hope you like it 😏
Everything in its right place - Joel x f!reader - series (ongoing)
Summary: Being single is a crime. Finding a partner is mandatory by law. Choosing the animal you want to transform into in case of failure is the only form of free will left.
Locked up in a hotel for 45 days, Joel, a lonely man who has been kicked around by life, is just looking for someone who can mend his heart, in a world where love is defined by shallowness and meaningless rules.
no-outbreak!professor!Joel Miller x student!f!Reader
Summary: You came to your professor to ask for help with your essay. He accidentally discovers one of your dirty secrets which is him.
Warnings: +18, MDNI, age gap (reader is 20, Joel is 50), soft!dom!Joel (oh you’re gonna love him), unprotected/protected PIV, pet names (honey, baby, sweetheart, sweetie), blowjob, fingering, cum eating
Wordcount: 4,8k
An: I am WEAK for caring and sweet Joel so that's who he is here. He’s wonderful and I love him with all my heart so I hope you love him too xx
Music I worked with: Ultraviolence - Lana Del Rey
Masterlist
Studying was hard. You shed sweat and tears there.
You tried.
You really tried.
Despite this, you weren't proud of yourself. You knew you could do better. You were like an executioner to yourself. Sleepless nights, thousands of notes and liters of coffee. That's what it cost you to pass a measly 95%.
Fucking 95%.
Where's the missing 5%? Where did you make a mistake that cost you as much as 5%? You had no idea. But you knew where you could find out.
Professor Miller's office was always open. Always invited stray students. Or in your case, perfectionists. Always welcomed with warmth and the smell of herbs. His office was a place of momentary respite and the feeling that the world wasn't really running, it was you. And that's why when you knocked on his door and were greeted by his warm smile, you finally felt like you could breathe.
“Professor,” you said with a smile, tightening your grip around a few notebooks.
"My favorite student," he replied in a warm but tired voice. No wonder, it was Friday and already late. Nothing worse than you could have happened to him.
“I'm sorry to disturb-”
“You know very well that you never disturb me,” he interrupted you immediately. You pursed your lips into a line, feeling your stomach tighten. He was always like this... And you still haven't gotten used to it. "Come in, I'll make you some tea," he offered, moving to the side. You smiled nervously and slipped inside.
"Actually, I prefer coffee."
"Coffee then," he nodded, closing the door and heading towards what replaced the small kitchen. You placed the stack of notebooks on the table and placed your bag on the ground. You looked around the office decorated in shades of dark brown and beige.
Everything here was thought out. Delicate accessories. Perfectly arranged books. Large oak desk. A table and a few chairs. And a large leather sofa by the window.
You liked being here. But the office itself was not enough. It was Professor Miller who gave it life. It was his energy that permeated every inch that made you feel at home here. Or at least that's what you wanted home to feel like.
You looked out the window at the small park in the middle of campus. The leaves on the trees were yellow, heralding the beginning of autumn. And everything would be beautiful if it weren't for the nasty weather. You don't even remember the last time you felt the sun's rays on your skin. Everything was as if under a dome of thick clouds.
“There are upsides to this weather,” professor's voice rang out behind you. You turned around just as he was placing two cups of coffee on the table.
"Like?" you asked, walking closer and sitting on the chair. Joel followed your lead and sat down with a soft groan. You smiled in amusement.
"Well..." he began, raising his eyebrows and leaned back, "actually, there aren't any," he finished after a moment's thought. “Unless you like rain and greyness,” he added with a smile.
You chuckled to yourself at his words. Sometimes you wished Joel was your main teacher. He was the only one who was just normal.
“What are you coming to me with?” he asked finally. You blinked a few times and cleared your throat, shifting in your chair. How should you tell him this...?
“I wanted to talk about the last essay we wrote,” you began calmly, seeing understanding immediately appear on Joel's face. "I wanted to know why you subtracted 5% from me."
"Of course you would like to know..." he muttered under his breath, amused, and shook his head. He looked at you with warmth in his eyes and was silent for a moment before sighing. “Honey, are you really going to fight for the stupid 5%?” he asked, hoping that maybe you'd change your mind and save you both from having to work on nothing.
“It's important 5%” you corrected him and he just looked at you in amusement. His smile was like a ray of sunshine on these cloudy days. Joel sighed, shaking his head and took off his glasses to wipe his tired face. He looked at you one more time before standing up and moving towards his desk. He pushed his glasses up his nose as he looked through the stack of papers, looking for your name. After a while he returned to his place with a few papers. He began to silently look through your work while you calmly drank your coffee. The coffee he made was always the best.
“Yeah okay…” he spoke after a few long minutes before he dropped your work on the table and slid it towards you. You put down your cup and took the papers. “The first half is good. Very good actually," he began to explain as you looked through a few pieces of paper, "But somewhere in the middle you completely changed your writing style. I didn't like it.” He glanced at the papers, wrinkling his nose. “The sentences were so…empty,” he explained, so you looked at him.
Was it really just about that? About the stupid writing style?
You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling a pang in your heart.
“Is there anything I can do to improve?” you asked, sounding so delicate as if the slightest stimulus could break you. Joel was silent for a moment, staring at you. And he might start cursing you for how soft his heart was towards you.
He nodded slowly and drank his coffee. Every second of his silence seemed to drag on forever. The sound of the cup being placed down echoed in your head. You blinked a few times, waiting for him to speak but your leg began to tremble restlessly under the table.
“I'll do anything,” you said, unable to bear the silence. Joel smiled shaking his head.
"I know," he replied warmly. He cleared his throat, shifting in the chair. "Read the whole thing and mark the moment when you notice the change I mentioned to you," he instructed, to which you nodded and immediately got to work. In the meantime, he got up and continued what your visit had interrupted. Organizing papers wasn't his favorite thing to do, but he had to do it someday.
For several minutes you were focused on every word you wrote on these papers a week ago. The work was still satisfactory, but only now you were able to notice what the professor had mentioned. You winced as you read the sentences that looked like they were written by a robot. You understood why he deducted 5% from you.
“I can see it now,” you said, looking up. Joel stopped reading and placed the papers on the shelf before heading towards you. He stopped behind you and rested his hand on the back of your chair. His fingers touched your sweater, making you sit up straighter. You glanced at him as he leaned closer, looking at your work.
“Mhm,” he murmured, nodding. His attention was focused on the text until he finally straightened up. “Start from this point again. Write, I will come and check,” he ordered, looking down at you. “Then we'll talk about those important 5%,” he finished and you nodded automatically. You liked it when he was professional. Gravity and authority suited him. You followed him with your eyes and only when he returned to looking through his papers, you did get to work too.
You sat in silence for an hour, writing your papers. For an hour, the only thing that broke the silence was Joel's soft murmurs. He watched you from time to time as you dealt with your writing, and a small smile appeared on his lips when he saw how focused you were.
It was starting to get dark outside, so a few warm lamps gave a nice atmosphere. You were staring at the last sentence you wrote when suddenly a cup of hot coffee appeared next to you. You looked away from the text and looked at your steaming drink.
“Thank you,” you said quietly and glanced up at Joel who was looking into your notebook. He carefully followed the text you had written. You remained silent, waiting for him to speak. Finally he nodded gently in approval.
“You're doing great,” he praised, making eye contact with you. You smiled gently and he responded in the same way. He straightened up, tapping your chin teasingly and winking. "Write," he nodded and then left.
You swallowed hard, staring at his back as your heart beat so loudly that it drowned out everything around you. You blinked a few times in confusion and shifted nervously in your seat, returning your gaze to your notebook.
He had such a warm smile...
Another hour passed. Joel continued to stand by the bookcase arranging papers and books while you walked around reading your work to him.
“Repeat that last sentence,” he spoke, catching your eye for a moment. You stopped and looked at the text.
“Her gaze was empty and sunk into the depths of darkness,” you read and immediately looked at him, expecting disapproval. Joel was silent for a moment, wrinkling his nose and passing the papers between his fingers.
"Next."
“Like death slowly emerging, she stood up too. The black lady who heralded no tomorrow…”
“I like this one,” he said, cutting you off halfway through. You looked at him with a smile and continued reading.
Several minutes passed before you finished. You stood in the middle of the room with a grimace as you read the last few sentences in your head again.
“I don't think I like the ending,” you said hesitantly. Before long, you felt the professor's body behind you. His hand came to rest on your arm as he leaned over your shoulder. You immediately stopped breathing, feeling your skin begin to burn where he touched you. He focused on reading and you focused on the way his chest pressed against your back.
Damn…why did his touch send such pleasant warmth? Why was his closeness so pleasant that you were afraid to move lest it be interrupted?
“I don't see any problem,” he said, frowning. His voice so close to your ear sent shivers down your entire body. You swallowed, forcing yourself to say a few sentences.
Why did it take so much energy for you to speak?
“I'm reading this and it doesn't feel like it's over,” you explained and glanced sideways at him. “Do you see what I mean?” Joel caught your eye for a moment and then started reading the text again.
“I understand, but I still don't see the problem. You ended it in a simple way," he said, tracing the text with his finger.
“You know I don't like simplicity,” you muttered under your breath, earning him a sigh. The sound made your stomach tighten.
“Honey, listen…” he started and tightened his fingers on your arm. “I know you try like no other and always want everything to be perfect,” he said calmly, not wanting you to take it the wrong way. You looked at him and immediately locked eyes. “But sometimes simple is best option,” he finished, smiling softly. You stared into his eyes in silence and slowly swallowed when your gaze fell to his lips for a moment. You immediately looked away at your notes, feeling your breath shudder.
"I'm still not convinced"
“Of course you're not,” Joel sighed and snatched the notebook from you before walking away a few steps, starting to read again. You stood there, watching as he slowly started to spin in circles.
“I would give you 100% for this” he commented.
“I wouldn't give 100% for this,” you muttered under your breath, but not so quietly that he couldn't hear it. He looked at you, stopping.
“It's good that you're not me,” he replied with a gentle smile, which immediately made you feel a blush of shame on your cheeks. Joel went back to reading and you started mentally cursing yourself at your long tongue.
You started playing with your fingers behind your back and looked down at your shoes for a moment. Only the sound of pages turning caught your attention. Joel indifferently studied the remaining pages in your notebook, and then you felt a twinge of panic. You were about to open your mouth to speak when he interrupted you.
"I will give you a deadline for corrections," he continued, flipping through the pages until he finally stopped at one. "This is interesting," he commented under his breath, starting to read. You felt a cold sweat cover your body as you realized what could have caught his attention.
“Professor…” you spoke warningly. Joel silenced you with a wave of his hand. You fell silent, pursing lips tightly. You swallowed the lump in your throat, watching him closely. You watched for any signs of what he might be reading. And more importantly, how he reacted to what he read.
A soft smile appeared on his lips before he looked towards you. You looked like you had seen a ghost, what amuse him even more.
"You're even better at non-fiction than short stories," he commented, raising an eyebrow and closing notebook. You blinked a few times as if his words were completely lost on you. Only after a while you waking up from the stasis.
"Non-fiction?" you asked confused. You frowned, wondering if you had ever written something non-fiction, but nothing came to mind.
“I mean…” he started with a snort and slowly moved towards you. "I thought my eyes were just brown," he laughed softly. And that's when your heart stopped.
You felt every muscle in your body tense as you watched him in horror. He read... He read the fucking poetry about his eyes. You were screwed…
“Professor-” you started, wanting to explain yourself. Say anything that could get you out of this ridiculous situation.
“Joel,” he interrupted you.
You froze with your mouth parted and you could have sworn you heard your heart start beating again.
You stared at him when he stopped two steps in front of you. Joel seemed completely relaxed while you were having a nervous breakdown. Your silence only made his smile widen.
"Do not get me wrong. I really like it” He lifted the notebook, tapping the cover with his finger. You followed his every move carefully in silence. Really, you couldn't be in a worse position. “I'd love to read about other things, too,” he added with a smile and held out notebook towards you. You hesitantly raised your trembling hand and took your notebook, hugging it to your chest as if it would protect you from everything that was happening.
You blinked a few times, your eyes darting. As long as you don't look him in the eye. You nodded in agreement, feeling like nothing could come out of your mouth.
“Hey…” he started gently and grabbed your chin between his fingers, forcing you to look at him.
His hand… on your face… Oh god.
“Don't be ashamed of your poetry,” he said, gently stroking your skin with his thumb. You swallowed hard, feeling yourself start to shiver. You nodded almost invisibly. “Use your words,” he encouraged.
“Okay,” you whispered weakly, your breath shaky. One word cost you more effort than writing several pages of text.
"That's my good girl," he smiled wider, pleased.
His fingers slowly traced your cheek and he tucked a broken strand of hair behind your ear, following every move with eyes.
“So what can I read about in the future?” he asked as his fingers slowly moved down to your neck. You felt like you were burning alive. You were so damn hot that you started sweating. Your heart wasn’t slowing down and you could barely catch your breath.
Was this what dying was like?
“I-” you trailed off, swallowing the lump in your throat.
“Maybe hands?” he suggested, raising an eyebrow. His fingers slowly moved your hair behind your shoulder. “Hm? What do you think?" He asked, looking back into your eyes.
You felt like you were in some movie. You weren't even able to think straight when he touched you like that. You nodded in response.
“Words,” he reminded you.
“Yes, I'd like that.” Joel smiled warmly before removing his hand and sighing.
“Great,” he nodded and walked past you towards the door. You turned around, watching his every move. “I have time next week. You can come to my class and write your essay," he said on his way to the door.
You took a few steps after him but stopped when he did too. Joel turned towards you, his hand on the doorknob. He still had that warm smile on his face as he looked at you.
“Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere,” he said, raising an eyebrow when he noticed you had moved from your previous spot. His fingers slipped from the door knob and closed the door in one motion.
Then you realized what was about to happen.
You parted your lips, trying to catch your breath, but Joel was already in front of you again.
And this time, his lips were the reason you stopped breathing.
Soft and warm lips surrounded by rough stubble.
A mixture that made your knees weak in a second.
You sighed at the feeling of his lips pressed against yours, leading you in a slow dance. His hand on your cheek and the other wrapped around your waist. You sighed again as he pulled you closer. His tongue found yours and his fingers tangled in your hair. He kissed gently and tenderly. Exactly as you imagined. Exactly as you needed.
“Tell me,” he started, pulling away from your lips, breathing heavily. “Tell me that you want this.”
His breath mixed with yours. Your gaze was fixed on his lips and his on your eyes.
“Mhm,” you nodded because that was all you could do. But it was enough for him to crash his lips against yours again. You moaned at the intensity with which he started kissing you. Like he was thirsty.
Joel took the notebook from your hands and threw it on the table. His lips collided with yours over and over again. His arm wrapped tightly around your body. A scenario like one of your wet dreams.
“On your knees,” he whispered against your lips and loosened his grip. You took a moment to calm your breathing and licked his saliva from your swollen lips. You looked into his eyes, filled with warmth and desire. A look you would do anything for. Including falling to your knees in front of him.
You watched as his fingers slowly unbuckled his belt. And he just watched your sweet face. Your eyes reflected soft lights and your lips were slightly puffy. You looked like an angel.
He slowly unzipped his zipper and then your eyes met his. And you had to admit that this was the perspective from which you could look at him forever.
His hand disappeared into his boxers only to take out his semi-hard cock a moment later. You weren't able to take your eyes off his, causing a smirk to appear on his lips.
“Come on baby, you gotta help me out a little.”
His gentle words and warm smile immediately encouraged you to do whatever he asked you to do. You looked at his cock and slowly moved closer to place a kiss on the tip. That was enough for Joel to moan quietly with satisfaction. You licked the precum from his tip, immediately moisturizing all his length. Another moan escaped his lips as you took him into your mouth. His hand found its way into your hair as you slowly began to caress his cock with your mouth. With each movement of your tongue you felt him getting harder and harder. Until you finally started choking on him.
You pulled away for air and looked at him as he took off his glasses to wipe his face. He looked like he had run a marathon, but his eyes were full of you. He was breathing heavily as he decided to put his glasses on the table. And then you wrapped your mouth around his cock again.
“So pretty,” he moaned, stroking your head affectionately.
You felt his tip teasing your throat again so you pulled away, gasping for breath. His thumb was immediately on your lips, wiping away the saliva. You looked up at him like an innocent deer.
“Good, baby,” he praised you and tugged on your chin, forcing you to stand up. He immediately leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on your lips. You melted under his lips, making him smile.
His hands slid down your waist to your hips, pressing his fingers against your skin. A second later he was unbuttoning your jeans only for his hand to slip into your panties. You both moaned at the same time as his fingers traced your entrance. You grabbed onto his arms as your knees buckled beneath you. His arm wrapped around your waist as he felt your reaction.
“You're so wet,” he whispered against your lips. His eyes never left yours as he began to spread your juices over your clit. You shuddered, breathing heavily, and dug your nails harder into his skin. Then his fingers slowly slipped into your wet hole.
He watched in delight as your lips parted and your eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. The moan that left your throat as he slowly moved his fingers was like music to his ears. Every movement of his fingers echoed throughout your body. Like you were getting drunker with each thrust.
Joel couldn't help himself and started drinking your moans like the best wine. For the first time, it didn't take much to feel your orgasm building between your legs. He groaned into your mouth, feeling you slowly tighten around his finger.
"Already?" he asked with a smile.
“Please,” you moaned sweetly and he smiled wider. He stole a gentle kiss from you.
“Of course,” he whispered, pleased with how intensely you responded to his touch. He was flattered.
You closed your eyes as your body began to chase your orgasm. Then his fingers flexed slightly and you felt stars all over your body. You moaned as you came on his fingers. Joel didn't stop until he saw the beautiful post-orgasmic bliss on your face.
When you finally opened your eyes, you immediately saw him licking his fingers clean of your juices. And honestly, it was the sexiest sight of your life. You swallowed, wanting to moisten your dry throat.
“Turn around,” he ordered, continuing to lick his fingers. You followed his instructions without hesitation.
You felt his large, warm hands on your hips and your heart beat faster in your chest with excitement. His hand pushed your back gently, causing you to lie down on the table. His lips kissed your shoulder a few times before he straightened up, looking down at you.
And he would be lying if he said that this sight had never crossed his mind.
In a second your jeans were sliding down your thighs. You heard his soft laugh when he noticed your panties.
"You're really sweet," he commented, running his fingers over the white panties with colorful strawberries. A blush burned your face, but you smiled to yourself anyway.
A few seconds later, your panties also stopped at your thighs. Joel crouched down and spread your thighs so he could look at your wet pussy. A soft growl left his throat, making you tense as another drop of your previous orgasm left your entrance.
“I could eat you all night long,” he said, his voice laced with desire and your stomach twisted into knots. His words echoed against your pussy, making your knees tremble. “Another time, sweetheart,” with that he stood up and spread the wetness between your legs with his fingers. You moaned at the feeling and closed your eyes, snuggling into the table. He leaned over you and ran his nose over your ear. You shuddered. "Because there will be another time, hm?" he whispered, sending shivers down your entire body.
He slowly positioned his cock perfectly at your entrance and ran the tip along the length of your pussy to wet it. You started panting as you felt him ready to enter you.
“Yes, please,” you moaned. Joel laughed softly and then slowly entered you until the end. You both moaned as he stopped his hips against yours.
And then reality hit him. He straightened up, looking at the place where you were connected.
"Shit, baby, I didn't put a condom," he cursed due to his stupidity. You immediately glanced at him over your shoulder, seeing that he was surprised by his own carelessness.
“I'm taking the pills,” you replied quickly, not wanting him to interrupt. You felt him so damn good…
“Are you sure?” he asked, a bit worried about whether you wanted him to continue.
“I am,” you nodded. You looked at each other for a moment and then Joel leaned down to capture your lips in a slow kiss. His hips slowly came back to life, thrusting into you slowly and intensely. His cock stimulated every wall of your pussy perfectly. You moaned into his mouth, feeling him in every part of your body. As if his cock was made just for you.
His fingers dug hard into your hips as he slowly buried himself inside you. It quickly drove you crazy. You couldn't even kiss him back so you fell on the table, choking heavily.
Joel rested his forehead on your shoulder as he entered you again and again. Taking his time, enjoying you. He loved the way you tightened around his cock every time he entered you all the way.
His moans disappeared in your skin and his cock in your pussy, creating a deadly mixture that quickly brought you to the brink of breaking. You cried as you felt his slow movements drive you to sweet madness. You wanted to beg him to speed up, to do anything to speed up your fulfillment. But Joel knew very well what he was doing. Your needy moans only confirmed to him how good he was doing you.
“You're doing great, sweetie” he breathed against your ear as you cried his name once again. His movements were like slow torture. Perfect to bring you to the edge of pleasure and too slow to end it.
But then he changed the movement of his hips, pushing himself even deeper into you. You choked on air as he growled, holding you even tighter. You didn't need much now.
“Can you cum on my cock?” he asked, panting with thirst.
“Mhm,” you nodded, pressing your lips together to keep from squealing. Joel let out a satisfied groan and started placing kisses on your shoulder. You closed your eyes, moaning with desire.
“You're fucking perfect, baby,” he moaned, stroking and squeezing your hip and thigh. He was insanely hungry for you. Like an animal. Like a worshipper.
One last push of his hips and his name fell from your lips like a prayer as you came. Joel groaned as he felt you tighten on his cock. He stopped, enjoying the feeling, feeling that his orgasm was fast approaching. He then started thrusting into you again, at a slightly faster speed. This only prolonged your pleasure to the limit.
“Cum inside you?” he asked, his fingers tightening on your hip.
“Yes, Mr. Miller,” you moaned. Joel growled, grabbing your neck and pulling you to his chest. His lips crushed yours in a hungry kiss in a second. A few moves inside you and his moan disappeared into your mouth. His cock twitched inside you, filling you fully with his orgasm.
You both panted into each other's mouths as he gave you sweet gentle kisses. Eventually his breathing calmed down and he pulled away so he could look at you with a blissful smile. He ran his gentle fingers along your cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“I'll make time for you tomorrow. The sooner you write your essay, the sooner I can enjoy you, deal?" he suggested.
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Summary: Joel was known for treating women well in bed. That's why, on your eighteenth birthday, you decided to give him your virginity.
Warnings: +18, MDNI, age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 56), Jackson!Joel, taking of virginity, soft!dom!Joel, unprotected PIV sex, interrupted sex, pussy eating, fingering, pet names
Wordcount: 5k
An: Quick smut because I would DIE to be one of his girls. Joel Miller save my soul. Amen. Anyway, happy ovulation days to me and everyone. Born a slut, die a slut.
Music I worked with: One Of The Girls - The Weeknd, JENNIE, Lily-Rose Depp
Masterlist
You really didn't know how it all happened.
A moment ago you were standing in your room, grimacing at your reflection in the mirror, and now you were standing in front of the door to Mr. Miller's house.
How is that even possible?
How on earth did you even leave the house wearing this?
Like some kind of slut.
Why did you even think he might like this?
And the more important question is, for what sake you did put on lace underwear?
You blinked a few times, realizing that you had already knocked on his door. Shit.
Your breathing quickened as you finally realized what was happening. You began to mentally curse yourself for your stupid decisions.
Well... when you thought about it yesterday, it didn't seem so stupid. But hearing his heavy footsteps outside the door made you doubt everything that had ever crossed your mind.
What were you doing actually?
You didn't need it to live.
You didn't have to be like your friends.
And yet… you wanted to see what it was like. What it's like to make love to someone.
And as fate would have it, Joel was the perfect candidate to take your virginity.
At least that's what your friends said.
If it weren't for them, you wouldn't be here now. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't know what Joel is like. If it weren't for them, you wouldn't want to experience the same thing.
You wanted to be one of his girls.
The door slowly opened and Mr. Miller stood in the doorway, wiping his hands on a cloth. Suddenly all the thoughts in your head disappeared just like the oxygen in your lungs.
"What's up, little one?" he spoke first. You blinked a few times, realizing that you probably looked like an idiot watching him with those shiny eyes.
"Mr. Miller, hello," you greeted politely. He raised an eyebrow with a small smile and slung the cloth over his shoulder.
“Yeah, hi,” he snorted softly. You felt yourself getting hot. Wonderful start.
"I was just thinking... are you busy right now?" you asked, polite as always. As always, well-mannered.
Joel frowned in thought before glancing over his shoulder into the house. “Uh…” he sighed, hesitating for a moment before looking back at you. “Do you have some urgent matter?”
"Well..." you stuttered and cleared your throat. "No," you said truthfully. "But I wanted to ask for your help... with a certain... delicate matter."
Joel watched you carefully as if he was looking for some hidden intentions in you. You looked like always. Well, maybe apart from a slight shyness. But that was probably the issue of the matter you came to him with. And who would Joel be if he refused a poor girl who needed his help.
"Yeah, okay," he nodded and let you through the door. You automatically moved towards the living room, where you had already been a few times because of Ellie.
Joel closed the door with a quiet sigh and after a moment his heavy footsteps bounced off the walls. You sat on the sofa, staring at the empty coffee cup on the table. Your heart echoed in your ears, drowning out any thoughts. You couldn't even decide with yourself what you should do next. You got to his house, what now? How were you supposed to tell him why you came to him? How were you supposed to ask?
Mr. Miller, I've heard from my friends that you're eager to introduce them to the world of adulthood. I wanted to ask if you'd like to take my virginity too?
No fuckin’ kidding...
"Okay, so what's the deal?" he asked, sitting down in the chair next to you with a quiet groan. You moved restlessly, unnaturally straight as a rod. Joel saw that you were stressed so he didn't even comment on your prolonged silence. You tried to put together a sentence in your head. But your mind was blank. All you could focus on now was your pounding heart and the small smudge of grease on his temple.
Did he always look this good?
“Today is my eighteenth birthday,” you announced without thinking. As if that would shed any light on the matter you had come to him about. But Joel didn't seem too concerned about your strange behavior.
"Happy birthday," he replied indifferently.
“Thanks,” you nodded and fell silent again. You looked down at your intertwined fingers that you were playing with. Joel continued to watch you carefully, waiting for you to speak. Ellie had taught him an exceptional amount of patience in situations like this. And already used to the strange behavior of girls your age.
"What about your birthday?" he said as the silence stretched on. You looked up at him like a lost deer. You opened your mouth to say something but ended up tightening it into a line. You laughed, looking down anxiously.
Fuck. How were you supposed to tell him that?
"You know what?" You looked at him with a smile. "Actually, never mind." You stood up from the couch. "I'm sorry for-"
"Sit back down," he interrupted you sharply.
You sat up immediately.
You blinked slowly a few times as you stared at each other. Joel was completely relaxed, but you, you looked like you were sitting on nails.
"Why did you come to me?" he asked, settling more comfortably in the armchair. Your stomach clenched to the point where you felt bile rise in your throat. Your own stupidity had brought you to this point, even though you wanted to blame someone else. Even the weather. Maybe you had been out in the sun too long? Yes, that was definitely it. “Speak,” he said more sharply.
“I…” you trailed off, feeling your breath start to shake as did your hands. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… The girls said-“
“What girls?” he interrupted you again. You froze, mouth agape, looking at him as if you didn’t understand anything. So he raised his eyebrows and repeated it slower and calmer. “What girls?”
“Leyla and-“ you stopped to swallow the lump in your throat. “Nadia-“ you wanted to continue but he interrupted you again.
“And what did they tell you?”
He was calm.
Too calm.
That immediately lit up a light bulb in your head. He knew. You looked at him with wide eyes, feeling the cold sweat running down your back.
“Mr. Miller, I’m sorry. I have no idea what I was thinking coming here.” Panicked, you stood up and walked around the couch to leave. Or at least you wanted to, before his hand gripped your wrist, stopping you in your chair. You looked at him, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was still staring at the spot you had been sitting. You had a problem…
“Sit down,” he ordered. “We’ll talk.”
But you didn't move. You stood there, staring down at him. His gray hair, the wrinkles on his face, the sharp gaze.
He was old.
What were you even thinking, coming to fuckin’ grandpa with such a matter? Stupid.
"I don't know if I want to," you said, under the influence of momentary courage. A smile appeared on Joel's lips. And after a moment, his snort echoed around the room. You shivered.
"Yeah, I know," he nodded, and his gaze slowly shifted to you. You locked eyes and you felt your stomach tighten uncomfortably. "After all, you came here for something other than talking."
You gasped for air looking at him like he was a ghost. Your face burned with living fire as he looked at you with such damn confidence.
Oh man, what have you gotten yourself into?
"Mr. Miller-"
"Joel's enough" he interrupted you slightly, tightening his fingers on your wrist. You stuttered with your lips parted, unable to tear your gaze away from him.
You were definitely more innocent than the previous girls who ended up in his bed. At least, they were sure of what they wanted from him.
And he treated them much better than you.
Irony of fate.
Joel looked away, sighing heavily, afraid of his thoughts.
What kind of person was he?
Sometimes he was disgusted to look at himself in the mirror. But the compensation for his bad deeds was the sight of bliss on the girls' faces.
So was he really a bad man?
Maybe.
“Come ‘ere,” he said softly and pulled you towards him. You didn’t resist as he pulled you onto his lap. His hand went around your hip and the other rested on the armrest. He seemed completely relaxed while you were going through another breakdown. Joel watched your delicate face in silence. As if he was assessing what type of girl you were.
You felt naked just by his gaze. So damn intense gaze...
"Why did you come to me?" he asked again, this time gently. You blinked a few times, wondering what to answer. You shifted restlessly on his thigh, making him tighten his fingers slightly on your hip.
"They said you were gentle," you said quietly. So shy. "That you'd be perfect for me for the first time," you added, looking down at your joined hands. Joel watched carefully as your lips tightened into a thin line. A quiet snort escaped his chest, catching your attention.
"They told you that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement. You nodded uncertainly. "Oh, baby, they lied to you." He smiled gently, seeing a sign of fear flash through your eyes. But it was too late for him to let you walk out his door. "I wasn't gentle with them," he began to explain, which only scared you even more.
What the hell did you do?
Did you really believe girls who were famous for their slutty nature?
Not a very good plan.
“But I can be gentle with you, if you want,” he added encouragingly. Your breathing had long since accelerated to its limits. You looked at him with lost eyes, and honestly? That turned him on more than those confident girls. Seeing no reaction from you, he placed his hand on your thigh, starting to gently stroke it. “You want me to?”
You shivered at his gentle touch. You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded almost imperceptibly.
“I would like that.”
Joel tightened his fingers on your thigh and took a deep breath. Sometimes he wondered what he had done to deserve women coming to him for sex. Not that it bothered him. He just wanted to know if he was called a whore or a good lover. But at moments like this, he hardly cared about anything at all.
"Have you done anything yet?" he asked, beginning to stroke your hip and waist. He had to know a few things before he went any further. He had to know how to take care of you.
You didn't answer for a long moment.
"Kissing? Touching yourself?" he clarified the question. You shifted uncomfortably and denied it, looking away in embarrassment. "That's okay," he reassured you with a tender smile. “Don’t need to be ashamed, baby girl.” You looked up at him, hearing the pet name.
Something in your chest tightened at the sound of him speaking to you in such a tender and gentle way. He immediately noticed the sparkle in your eyes.
"You like it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows with a smile. For a moment you felt ashamed because honestly? You liked it. After a moment, however, the shame turned into amusement.
You came to ask him for sex.
What could be more embarrassing than this.
You pressed your lips into a line and nodded. Joel laughed tenderly and he already knew what you needed from him. You were the type who needed tenderness. You wanted him to make love to you.
Not sex.
Love.
“Okay baby girl, I got you,” he assured you and with a soft groan he grabbed your thigh and pulled you to straddle him. You cooperated with him without protest. His thighs were hard. Muscled. As was his chest that you rested your hands on. He was masculine. And his age didn't match how good he looked. You didn't even know what was causing your wet panties anymore.
His look.
His voice.
His touch.
Or maybe the fact that he was so close.
"First, a quick educational talk," he announced, placing his hands on your hips and pulling you close enough so that your crotches touched. Your breath shuddered. "Are you aware of the possible consequences of unprotected sex?"
"I've heard that-"
"No, interrupted sex is not a form of protection," he interrupted you, knowing full well what rumors could be going around among young, inexperienced people who'd managed to avoid pregnancy once or twice.
"Oh..." slipped out of your mind.
"True, it reduces the risk but it doesn't give any certainty. It’s just bullshit," he explained carefully. You shifted uncomfortably, causing your crotch to rub against his.
Bad move.
You pressed your lips into a line, not wanting to make a sound and nodded at his words.
"I won't cum inside you” he emphasized that you would have confidence in what was to come.
"Okay," you said quietly. Joel must have seen that you were aware of what he was saying to you. Only then did he continue.
"When did you have your period?" he asked directly. You cleared your throat uncertainly.
"I should have it in a few days." He was silent for a moment, struggling with his thoughts. There couldn't have been a better opportunity.
"Fine. We won't have to live in uncertainty for long," he said it more to himself than to you, but you nodded anyway.
Risking becoming a father at his age was no small feat. But he couldn't help himself. Not when a girl like you was sitting on his lap.
"This is going to hurt," he noted, grimacing. "Only at first, and I'll try to make it as painless as possible."
You knew this, so you nodded more eagerly. Joel fell silent again for a moment, looking at you. You hadn't been destroyed by life yet.
And it was to him that you had decided to come, to start your downfall.
He closed his eyes, sighing heavily. "Okay, I guess that's it," he said, looking at you with that tired look of his. You felt a surge of excitement when he said that.
"Oh one more thing. Just in case" he said as if it suddenly dawned on him. "Your sexual partner is always supposed to take care of you first. If he doesn't, don't give yourself to him" he said confidently and your pulse echoed against your clit.
Oh, you didn't expect that reaction. Something about his confidence had such an effect on you.
"So..." you began uncertainly.
"So now I’m gonna eat you out" he replied confidently, hugged you tightly with one arm and then stood up from the chair. You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist as he tossed you slightly to adjust you in his arms.
You clung to his body, cuddling up to him and rested your forehead against his temple to watch what he was doing. And he calmly walked towards his bedroom. Not rushing. Letting you feel the anticipation of what he was about to do to you in your bones.
You looked around his room out of the corner of your eye. Bed, nightstand, wardrobe. Nothing more. You could have expected that. The only thing that wasn't his style was the curtain on the window, gently waving in the summer breeze.
Joel closed the door and walked over to the bed, slowly placing you on it. You supported yourself with your hands, watching as he slowly knelt down by the bed and began to undo the laces of your sneakers.
"I want you to tell me if something hurts you, you feel uncomfortable or you don't like something," he said, taking off each shoe and sock one by one. He looked up at you when he didn't get an answer. "It's important."
You nodded immediately. Only then, Joel start unbuttoning your pants. You watched as his fingers gently loosened the button and the zipper. Without a word, you lifted your hips so he could slide them off you. He looked at your panties with a moment's delay and stopped his movements. He fell silent, staring at your underwear so intensely that you clenched your thighs.
"I didn't know I'd ever see lace on someone again," he commented, slightly unnerved. “That’s nice” he added before he pulled your pants down the rest of the way. A small smile appeared on your lips.
He liked it.
His hands slid up your thighs. His rough touch on your soft skin was something completely new. You liked it. And you weren't the only one. Your pussy responded to his touch, soaking your panties. Oh.
His fingers grabbed your shirt which he began to pull off of you. He slowly revealed every inch of your body until the shirt landed next to your pants. This time his gaze stopped at your breasts. His gaze set your skin on fire.
"Damn baby, you look amazing" he said in delight taking in your whole body with his lustful gaze. “What an old man like me do to deserve this,” he muttered to himself as he stood up with a quiet gasp. He sighed heavily, looking down at you. Big eyes looked at him with sparks of excitement. Lips slightly parted by the heat. And a beautiful body dressed in white lace. “Beautiful view.”
He leaned towards you, cupping your chin between his fingers. You closed your eyes as his lips softly crashed against yours. And he froze allowing you to experience a new feeling. His cold lips and rough beard. You relaxed a bit, which he immediately sensed. And then he started kissing you.
He slowly led you and taught you to respond to his kisses. Until you started to respond more confidently. Then he added his tongue.
He crept into your mouth, colliding with your timid movements. But it didn't last long. Everything about him encouraged you to match him as soon as possible. So after a while you were pushing yourself towards him, hungry for more. But he just pulled away with a smirk.
“Lie down,” he ordered, which you immediately did. His gaze swept over your body again and a silent curse escaped his lips. He gently lifted your leg and began to place a trail of kisses along it. His kisses left wet trails behind when he finally knelt down. You stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. You clenched your fists in the sheets as his beard began to tease your inner thigh. He couldn't even stop himself from gently grazing your skin with his teeth. You felt it between your thighs like a lightning bolt. Joel smiled as he saw how sensitive your body was to his slightest touch.
You felt his hot breath perfectly above your pussy. You held your breath, tensing in anticipation. And then he placed a delicate wet kiss on your panties. You almost sighed, but then he kissed you with his tongue. Perfectly on your clit.
You moaned, feeling all the blood flowing to the place he had been a moment ago. You didn't have time to shake off the surge of pleasure because his fingers were already pulling your panties down. Until they landed somewhere on the floor. You gasped for air as he got a perfect view of your wet pussy. Embarrassing how much you leaked when he hadn't even started with you.
"Well, hello there" he said with a smile and placed his hands on your hips, hiding between your thighs. "You're so pretty." His warm breath fanned your wet entrance. You clenched, holding back a moan. "Can I say hi to her?" he asked, glancing up. Your breasts were heaving quickly, thirsting for oxygen. You swallowed hard and barely managed a quiet 'yes'.
You didn't have to tell him twice for his lips to place a soft kiss on your clit. You shivered. And he didn't wait long before he ran his tongue over your wet slit. You moaned, throwing your head back as he slowly began to lick up all the wetness that had already leaked out of you.
You began to pant heavily, gripping the sheets as if you were about to make holes. Joel held your hips rigidly and ate you like his favorite dessert.
“Such a sweet little pussy,” he murmured appreciatively before his tongue began to work on your clit. That’s when you saw stars. A moan caught in your throat at the feeling of Joel literally making out with your pussy. Oh he was hungry for a sweet treat like you.
Wet sounds filled the room as did your moans. Uncontrollably, you tightened your thighs around his head, making it clear to him that you were close.
His hands slowly moved from your hips to your stomach and up. His fingers slid under your bra and after a moment his warm hands squeezed your breasts. You arched your back starting to chase your orgasm as his hands caressed your tits. You started to move your hips to meet his tongue wanting to set the pace yourself. But Joel sucked on your clit like he was thirsty so your movements were in vain.
You moaned loudly when he started to move his tongue in circles.
"Yes, yes..." you cried feeling like you were a fraction of a second away from fulfillment. Then he pulled away and ran his tongue along the entire length of your slit. You came with a loud moan and a shiver of pleasure spread through your whole body. Joel teased your swollen clit with his tongue for a moment until the last waves of pleasure passed you and you fell helplessly onto the mattress panting heavily.
His lips placed one last kiss on your thigh before he pulled away and stood up. You opened your eyes, feeling a sudden chill from his absence. You propped yourself up on your elbows, meeting his gaze immediately as he slowly took off his clothes. And despite his age, he had no problem getting his dick hard for you.
Your gaze was fixed on his cock, wondering if it would actually go inside you. You understood why it might hurt.
You swallowed hard at the sight of his hand sliding along his length. His cock hardened even more at the thought of you tightening around him. He slowly walked closer, climbing onto the bed and towering over you. His lips found yours. The sweet kiss quickly turned into something deeper. His hands slowly began to slide down your body. His tongue distracted you enough that it wasn't until he inserted two fingers into you that you moaned into his mouth.
Joel hummed in satisfaction as he slowly began to stretch your hole. You clenched your hands on his shoulders, trying to focus on returning his kisses, but then he made a magical movement with his fingers that almost made you squeal. He laughed tenderly, drinking everything from your lips.
"Oh I think I found the sweet spot," he smiled against your lips before repeating the same movement a few more times, leaving you breathless. Seeing you like this stroked his ego. You were melting under his touch in a sexy as hell way, and if he could, he would spend all day fucking you in every way possible. But he was fucking fifty-six years old and he really didn't want to be a father. What a shame…
His fingers disappeared the moment you relaxed enough so his entrance wouldn't hurt. You looked at him with a misty gaze as he positioned his tip at your entrance.
"I'll go in baby. Nice and slow" he assured you to which you only mumbled under your breath closing your eyes and tilting your head back. It looked like a nod so he looked down slowly sinking his cock into your pussy. Your breath caught in your throat at the slow feeling of being filled. Joel gasped at how tight you were around him. "Relax baby. I need to go all the way in" he said in a hoarse voice. You shivered taking a deep breath and winced at the feeling of him slowly pushing even deeper into you. "That's right, doin’ really good for me. Just a few more inches" he praised you and groaned when his hips finally hit yours. You whimpered feeling tears in your eyes because, damn, it hurt more than a little.
Joel panted heavily for a moment before he finally noticed your condition. He stroked your cheek gently and used his thumb to wipe away the single tear that had managed to escape. His lips slowly began to place kisses along your jaw and neck to help you relax a bit.
“Shhh, you’re okay baby girl. The worst is over” he whispered in your ear and shivers spread through your body. He immediately felt it on his cock that you clenched around. He groaned throatily closing his eyes for a moment because he felt like he was in a cage.
A wet and tight cage.
“I need to move,” he whispered, his voice like he had run a marathon. You began to breathe faster, looking at him with teary eyes. “I know it hurts, but I need to stretch you.”
His lips were on yours in a second, kissing you hard before he slowly withdrew his hips. You moaned into his mouth but he didn't let you break the kiss. He pressed so hard that you had to, or at least tried to focus on it. And then he entered again. You dug your nails into his shoulders, wanting to show him that it hurt.
"I know, baby, I know," he whispered against your lips, making another move. With each subsequent kiss and each subsequent thrust of his hips, it was easier for you. Until finally the pained expression on your face disappeared and your groans were replaced by quiet moans. And then Joel felt your slit accept him with less resistance.
"Just like that," he groaned throatily as he entered you smoothly. His hand slid down your waist to your thigh. He tightened his fingers on your skin and guided you to wrap your legs around his waist. Then he pushed deeper into you, his breath shaking. You gasped as your legs trembled. But not because of how deep he was. Because of how skillfully he moved inside you, brushing against everything he should. He slowly pumped his hips, each time teasing your sensitive spot which slowly built up an orgasm inside you.
But you were missing something. A stimulus that would break the previous discomfort.
"Joel-" you gasped.
"Yeah?" he murmured, running his hand over your thigh, his gaze fixed on how his cock disappeared inside you over and over again. You shivered, clenching around him.
"I need more," you said weakly. Joel immediately looked up at you. After a moment, a smirk appeared on his face.
"Oh, what a greedy girl," he smacked his lips, shaking his head.
But after a moment, you felt an additional stimulus. You moaned, arching your back as his finger began to draw slow circles on your clit. The air caught in your throat as you tried to handle the sudden surge of pleasure.
“Satisfied?” he asked, feeling you slowly start to tighten around his cock more and more.
“Fuck yes,” you gasped, throwing your head back as your hips began to burn.
“Such dirty words from such pretty mouth,” he teased with a smirk of satisfaction that he had brought you to a state where your shyness had disappeared.
He bent down, starting to place wet kisses on your neck. You tangled your fingers in his hair, feeling all your muscles tense up in anticipation of fulfillment. His cock slowly moving inside you, his finger on your clit, and suddenly his teeth in your skin. A deadly combination that made your eyes roll inside out as you came.
“Yes, baby, show me how good it feels,” he murmured against your ear, panting heavily through each squeeze of your pussy. You shuddered, moaning as he prolonged your orgasm as long as he could.
You finally started to shudder from the overstimulation so he took his hands away and tightened them on your hips. You looked at him with tired eyes as he slowly straightened up.
“My turn, princess,” he said, digging his fingers into your skin to hold you in place.
And then he started thrusting. Hard. And fast. You gasped and grabbed his wrists as an uncontrollable cry tore from your throat. Joel watched as you took him nicely. All of him.
He was focused, clenching his jaw tightly. Your moans interrupted by his growl filled the room. You clenched against him from overstimulation and your nails dug into his wrists. But he was too busy thrusting into your tight cunt. Finally, a long moan escaped his lips as he tilted his head back.
"Oh yes, baby," he groaned in pleasure, continuing to thrust into you. You looked at him, feeling everything inside you tighten at the sight. And then his eyes met yours.
And you knew you were fucking lost.
He pulled out of you in a quick movement and grabbed his cock, rubbing it between your wet slit. You moaned squeaky as he massaged your clit with his cock. He made only a few movements before a loud growl escaped his throat and after a moment you felt hot cum on your stomach. You tried to calm your breathing as you watched Joel concentrate on squeezing every drop out of him. He sighed loudly and glanced at you before he slammed his cock into your pussy. You whimpered and he chuckled under his breath.
This is a collection of my favorite works that I would love to have on my shelf.
Ongoing updates.
Please support the creators because they deserve it. If you like any work — leave a comment and reblog. Believe me, they notice it :)
Oberyn Martell
—
Javier Peña
Just Friends by @pedrospatch
You’re planning to have sex for the first time and you’re nervous—Javi offers to show you a thing or two, but just as friends of course.
gonna make you sweat by @mypoisonedvine
he's your dad's best friend, he's a narc, he's the guy you've been calling 'tio' most of your life… so he's not the guy you want to run into when you're out partying a little too hard.
javi having an only fans by @gothcsz
You can be my daddy by @thesummerpetrichor
Father in law!Javier Peña x afab!fem!reader
Your soon to be husband leaves you at the alter, but you should have guessed since the practice seemed to run in the family. It’s hard to be upset however, when his father comes to repent for not only his own but son’s wrong doings. Aka fiancé’s dad Javi fucking you in your wedding dress after his son ditches you at the altar.
javi when he's arresting you by @gothcsz
FYBF by @almostempty
javier takes you home to prove that he can fuck you better than your boyfriend
Jack Daniels
Playing pretend by @bluebeary-jay
a simple mission turns out to be quite a challenge when you find out that you're partnered with Jack Daniels. oh, and that you have to pretend to be in love with each other. easy? not at all.
Frankie Morales
The First Time by @fettuccin-e
Size kink
Tag-Teaming by @fettuccin-e
Frankie "Catfish" Morales x Reader x Santiago "Pope" Garcia
Kinktober Day 5: Threesome
acts of service by @tonysopranosrobe
an unexpected admission leads frankie to make you an offer you can't refuse. this surely won't come with any consequences.
OR you've never had your pussy ate and your best friend frankie helps you out.
The Real Deal by @strang3lov3
Frankie uses his tongue to demonstrate why he’s less than impressed with your rose toy.
As Long As I Want by @fettuccin-e
Din Djarin
Fifteen Minutes by @whocaresstillthelouvre
Din Djarin x Cam Girl Reader AU
Being a cam girl isn't as exciting as people think it is, that is until a mystery of a deep voiced man asks you what makes a woman feel good.
spent by @pedropeach
you're a prostitute and din pays you for your services.
Just This Once by @fettuccin-e
Kinktober Day 18: Squirting + Dacryphilia
Marcus Moreno
—
Dieter Bravo
your favorite kryptonite by @kedsandtubesocks
Comic Bookstore Owner!Dieter Bravo x F!Reader
you think it should be illegal for someone this hot to work at your favorite comics & fandom shop
Joel Miller
is it that sweet? by @pedropeach
you probably shouldn't let some random middle aged man on the beach take nude photos of you, right? right?
the body of christ by @studioghibelli
running from a past life full of alcohol, drugs, and sex, joel miller sought repentance through the priesthood. all was going fine and dandy, until one fateful day, you found yourself in his church.
‘my girl now. by @psychedelic-ink
joel is used to asshole clients, and when one of them calls him an old man and basically demands him to finish his girlfriend's kitchen in time, he expects you to be the same. But you're the opposite. when he learns how you've been treated, he comes up with a plan to get back at your boyfriend.
BITING DOWN by @psychedelic-ink
body piercer!joel miller x f!reader
you finally go and get your nipples pierced.
What you're missing by @toxicanonymity
dark!Joel x f!Reader
noncon somnophilia
the devil you do. by @studioghibelli
they say the devil has a tongue of silver. on the night he visits you for the first time, you learn that he really does.
Rotten by @alltheirdamn Part I Part II Part III
cowboy!joel x f!reader
Sharing land with Joel Miller has always been infuriating, but when your bad attitude finally gets his attention…things get messy.
run by @pedrospatch
Raider!Joel Miller x Female Reader
When you’re given the chance to run from your captor, you don’t take it.
Something Bad by @fettuccin-e
Kinktober Day 20: Corruption
sea spray & seashells & sandcastles by @ace-turned-confused
dbf!joel miller x f!reader
a relaxing weekend break by the sea is just what you need, but spending it under the same roof as joel miller might not be the kind of relaxing you had in mind
flesh for fantasy by @syd-djarin
Joel puts on a pair of pretty panties for you.
every man gets his wish by @joelsmochi
joel discovers his next door neighbor makes porn in her spare time. once she's confronted, she finds out that he has an interest in helping create content ;)
You wanted this (series) by @alwaysmicado
Joel and you have a fun dynamic going. You provoke him, he punishes you - you both get off. When you meet him after you’ve fucked someone else, he decides to show you who you belong to. It’s all fun and games, right?
SWEET CHERRY by @aurorawritestoescape
Joel takes your virginity. Gently, slowly, talking you through it.
Safety First by @strang3lov3
While camping, Joel insists on thoroughly checking you for ticks. Safety first, after all.
Caught In The Act by @mermaidgirl30
Thinking you’re home alone, you decide to unwind in bed, but the last thing you expect is to have Joel Miller, the man you’re renting a room from, find you naked in bed.
Marcus Acacius
—
Lucien Flores
—
Reed Richards
—
Other Characters
be my baby by @cavillscurls
logan howlett x f!reader
logan fucks you in your sundress.
good luck, babe! by @studioghibelli
abby anderson x reader
your boyfriend has been cheating on you. when you confront the woman he’s been seeing, she offers you a proposition.
Nightcall by @alwaysmicado
Marc Spector x f!reader
Marc is a bad habit you can’t shake.
Perfect Fit (series) by @ivystoryweaver
Nathan Bateman from Ex Machina x f!reader
You are Nathan's employee and are staying at his secluded home for experimental android purposes. Shenanigans ensue. Like - two Nathans shenanigans.
What do you mean that I just open this app during my lunch break and found out that we have ANOTHER wave of people posting other people's fics as if it is theirs? And to make it even worse, another wave of confessions blogs and people insisting on the "big author vs. small author" speech????
I swear to Pedro's mustache, I want to punch everyone's tits. STOP ENGAGING WITH THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR! We are all nerds having a safe space to be happy with our fandom. You are a little bitch and a certified creep if you still engage with this.
I have this blog since 2023: every semester one of you starts this insane behaviour! I can't even count how many brilliant authors we lost to bully.
Summary: The passing of your runaway father triggers a series of events that brings you back to the place where you grew up. You’re back in Hoboken, and sleep eludes you. Haunted by waking nightmares, you find an unlikely refuge in the basement laundry room of your building, where you keep bumping into one of your neighbors, a certain Frankie Morales. Soon, it becomes obvious that the man is also running away from some ghosts of his own.
Can you two strike a deal that'll help you find some rest? Should be pretty harmless, right?
A Triple Frontier / A Most Violent Year AU.
Pairing: Frankie Morales x OFC (Leigh Reinhorn)
Please note that this story is written in reader format but Reader is an OFC. There are sparse but still present physical descriptions; she has a thorough background, and a name.
Rating: Explicit 🔞
TW: THERE WILL BE NO TRIGGER WARNINGS ON INDIVIDUAL CHAPTERS. So please tread carefully because there will be (ghosts) (no really) mentions of: PTSD, death, self-harm, secondary characters dying, gun violence, grief, depiction of very vivid nightmares, all the spooky vibes I can infuse, I am not kidding, my first writing love was horror (but I'm only just getting back into it, so baby-scary level).
Some newcomers: slow burn (my first, bear with me), idiots in love (like, very stupid).
And the usual suspects: love at first sight, soulmates, pleasure and pain, an alarming level of feelings denial, light bondage, rough sex, size kink like WOW this is Francisco Morales, lots of bodily fluids (come spit and sweat, sweat come and spit, my MVPs), unprotected sex, the usual very intense Orange bedroom Frankie, "I can fix you but I won't let you fix me" Frankie, and an OFC who's a match for him.
A/N: my dearest Orange bedroom besties, I don't know who's still here, but I'm very grateful for you all, past, future and present 🧡 This is probably the same story, the same tropes, again and again, only this time I will explore grief in a way I hope to be a bit spooky but not too off-putting. I promised myself this story would contain less angst, but the outline has already destroyed all hopes of a successful attempt...
So here's yet another long love letter to our Pilot™. I hope you enjoy the flight 🧡
Chapters
Prologue - Better in Hoboken
Chapter 1 -
Chapter 2 -
Chapter 3 -
Chapter 4 -
Chapter 5 -
Chapter 6 -
Chapter 7 -
Chapter 8 -
Chapter 9 -
Epilogue
Playlist
Under construction! I've recently said fuck you to Spotify so I'll have to figure out a way to put a playlist here that's not just a list.
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A/N: This was chosen based on a poll that I did - y’all wanted this one bad! Also, pics of both Joels so you can choose your fighter daddy preferred version 😘
Cozied up on the couch, you noticed Joel kept palming the crotch of his pants. “You good there?” He eyes you and says “yeah, just can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout something.” The look he gave you shortly after told you all you needed to know. The last time he looked at you like that you’d ended up nearly kicking him off of you as you pleaded for him to give you a break from the endless orgasms.
You always felt spent after the first one. And Joel would give you a moment to recuperate. Heavy breathing, his chest moving up and down as he knelt on the floor beside the bed, your orgasm evident on his glistening beard, he’d stare you down until it seemed you were ready for the next. But this was the only break he’d give you from here on out.
There was a safe word, sure. But you’d never used it - even when you were to the point of tears, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him the pleasure he felt watching you writhe underneath him.
The tears were one of his favorite parts. It felt like an achievement. He’d kiss them away and coo, “you’re doing so good, baby, just one more f’me, okay?” You’d sob into the pillow and nod your head, willing to take one more from him.
Your third orgasm was always the hardest to give. Your body would fight it and you felt so exhausted. Joel’s tongue continued lapping at your pussy, the tip of his tongue delivering soft flicks to your clit as you squirmed underneath him. He wrapped his arm around your tummy to hold you in place. “I don’t think I can,” you murmured. Joel didn’t even dignify your claim with a response, just continued administering licks up and down your cunt until his lips wrapped around your clit and he sucked it into his mouth, two of his fingers working their way into your spent pussy. You gasped and your back arched as Joel mumbled into your folds “there it is, give it to me.” And you did.
After he wrung four orgasms from your limp body, he climbed on top of you, searching for your eyes before he continued. You looked at him and nodded weakly, ready to feel him inside of you. He entered with ease from all your slick that had gathered between your legs. He fucked you hard and you felt your arousal growing again, a familiar sensation tightening in your core. Joel noticed, of course he did, and reached his fingers between your bodies, swiping at your throbbing clit until you clenched around him and screamed through the intense orgasm. He came shortly after, kissing your neck and mumbling how pretty you were wrecked underneath him.
When he pulled out and swooped you in his arms, you were grateful to see him carrying you to the bathroom. He sat you on the countertop as he drew a bath. You watched him through half-lidded eyes. Relieved that your body could finally rest.
But when Joel turned around, there was a glint in his eye. “C’mere love, get in.” You did as he said, and climbed into the warm bath. Joel stayed outside the tub and reached up to unhook the shower hose. He turned it on and switched the water pressure so that a jet of water was shooting out. He kept it aimed at the tub and said, “on your knees, sweetheart.”
Fuck, you realized what he wanted. “Joel…” He looked at you, his eyes dark but admiring as he said, “you tapping out? Lemon, I gotta hear you say it.” You didn’t want to use the safe word. It felt like cheating. But still, staring at the jet of water, knowing how sensitive your poor pussy was, you were scared. You shook your head no and got on your knees.
“Good girl.” He handed you the shower head and you positioned it between your legs, jolting immediately as it hit your sensitive clit. “Look at that puffy pussy, baby. Aww, damn, she’s sore, ain’t she?” You nodded and he smiled sympathetically. “I’ve got you baby, I think she just needs to come one more time, huh?”
Your pussy fluttered as some of Joel’s seed dripped out of you and into the bath water. He watched it with blown out pupils. You looked down to see he was growing hard again.
As you tried to give him what he wanted, the mental exhaustion was becoming a barrier. The physical sensation wasn’t enough to get you there and you started to go numb from the overstimulation. Joel took his cock in his hand and commanded, “look at me. You’re gonna watch me jack off until you come. I know you like to watch, baby.” He was right. Watching Joel fuck his own hand did something to you.
He started slow then worked up to a quick pace, his eyes on you the whole time. He groaned and you could feel yourself getting close. “Just like that, baby, keep going. Gonna come all over your tits when you’re ready.” Joel stood up so that his cock was level with your face as he stroked himself.
The water was pounding relentlessly against your clit. You were throbbing and your whole body started to tighten as your orgasm built. “Oh my god,” you panted, “I’m close, Joel.”
He nodded, fisting his cock tighter as he said, “yeah, you are. Fuckin’ give it to me. It’s mine. Let me see you come. Do it for me. I see it in your pretty eyes, you’re almost there. Look at my cock. Watch.” He groaned loudly as he moved his cock closer to you, “fuuuuck,” he moaned as his spend shot out and started coating your tits. It was the final thing you needed to push you over the edge. You dropped the shower head and fell forward, gripping the tub as your body spasmed from the aftershocks of your sixth orgasm. He’d never forced that many from you before.
As you regained your composure, Joel slipped into the tub behind you. He turned on the faucet to fill the tub with more warm water. Wrapping his arms around you, he pulled you back into him so you were laying on his chest.
“So proud of ya, darlin’, ya did so good f’me.” He landed kisses against the top of your head and your eyes drifted closed as you soaked up his affection.
Tagging those that commented on the poll: @easybbgrl @honey-moon-13
I'm going to be doing my best in the coming weeks to reblog a massive backlog of fics that I've saved elsewhere, hopefully living up to what I've been commenting elsewhere, namely, that (and I know I'm preaching to the choir here) in order to keep our amazing fanfic authors motivated, we have to keep commenting and reblogging our favorite fics!
I'm also discovering how many posters in the PP fandom have deactivated recently, and although I'm so so happy to find some of them on AO3 and hope they're doing well and thriving outside of Tumblr, my heart's breaking a bit that they felt like they couldn't stay here for waves hands around all sorts of recent reasons. Thanks so much for your amazing content and support of this community, among others, mrsmando, macfrog, goodwithcheese, guiltyasdave, and probably more as I work through the backlog - your writing and your presence are definitely missed here.
(and if anyone knows if these users and/or others have AO3s or have changed usernames, please let me know!)
Aly @iamasaddie, and @pedgito 😓 (EDIT: and @jolapeno😩) my heart hurts. And I'm definitely missing others based on my following count. I had to take a step back due to health reasons, but I'll be back here and reblogging those who are still here! 💞💔
Summary: Santiago proves to you that this is more than casual (18+, fem reader, p in v, soft dom Santi)
3 of 9 fics I wrote for @the-oscar-isaac-collective Coffee & Cream Digital Fanzine
-----
“One more time.”
Santiago is perched over you, one of your legs over his shoulder, his hand tucking your calf against his neck. His other hand has a devastating grip on your hip, pinning you to the bed.
Every part of you that he can touch with his hands and eyes. He wants you to know: he’s in charge.
He’s grinding his cock into you like he’s trying to drill straight through to your throat. All you can feel is him.
Once with his fingers. The way he uses them, like an artist. But instead of canvas and oil, he uses you and every drop of liquid he can coax out of you.
Once with his mouth. Like he’s trying to get to the orgasmic center of a lollipop and can only get there with the rough, unrelenting heat of his tongue.
And then this. This deep, soul-melting, wet, hot, never-ending edge of another orgasm that he refuses to release you from.
He kisses your leg. “Tell me one more time and I’ll think about letting you come again.”
You almost beg him to let you go entirely, unsure you can take any more. It’s so delicious, though. Opening yourself to him in every way, so he can pour himself into you, completely connected.
The only way he can push you over that edge, again and again, is to walk up to it with you. To flirt with falling himself. You know it takes every ounce of his considerable control to keep from losing it.
The way he looks at you. How he zeroes in on every expression and movement you make. His only goal right now is you. And you can’t ask him to stop.
He’s hypnotizing.
One of his hands comes up to your face, wiping the tears he’s wrung out of you. He leans down to kiss you gently on the mouth, still nestled as deep as he can go inside of you, making slow circles with his hips.
“I’m yours,” you pant into his mouth. “I’m yours, Santiago.”
“Good.” His tongue dives into your mouth, pushing and claiming.
If you’d had any doubts that he wanted a real relationship with you, then this night has erased them.
It had pissed him off, when you’d asked him earlier if he wanted to talk about being exclusive with each other. He’d just picked you up for your date and you'd been in his truck.
“Wait,” he’d said, putting his keys in the ignition, but not starting it. He looked at you, brown eyes steely and shiny, “we weren’t doing that already?”
“Well, I have been. You haven’t mentioned anyone else, but usually, two people decide. There’s a point in dating where it could be more, or, could be less, I guess.”
The longer and harder he stared at you like that, the more your brain got all jumbled.
He held his bottom lip between his teeth.
“Santiago, I haven’t been going out with anyone else. I definitely haven’t slept with anyone else.”
The lines between his eyebrows are canyon-like as he scrutinizes you. In one swift movement he rips the keys out of the ignition and shoves out of the cab of his truck.
“We’re staying in tonight. I’m sleeping here,” he says. He strides back into your place quickly.
As soon as you were inside, he’d backed you up against your front door, kissing you deeply, grinding himself against you softly.
“What do I have to do, huh?” he’d said after he broke the kiss. “How do I show you what you mean to me? That you’re everything I want.”
You rested your forehead against his, smiling, heart in your throat at his sweet words coated in impatience.
“I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life, Santiago. We don’t have to talk about forever, but I’d like to start building something. Something real. If you want that too.”
“I want to talk about forever,” he’d said.
“That’s a big word.” One you wanted badly, but were afraid to believe in, given how many years he’d spent with no one place to call home.
You’d looked away from him, but Santi had brought your gaze back with a turn of his fingers against your chin.
“I’m sorry,” you’d said.
“Don’t apologize,” he said. The pads of his fingers massaged into your arms. “You don’t have to pretend with me. You’re not going to scare me off with that ‘too much, too soon’ bullshit. Took me long enough to find you. I’m not letting you go.”
His next kiss was harder. Made his intention clear. You weren’t making your dinner reservation tonight.
He’d brought you upstairs. To this torturous ecstasy that you wanted to live in forever.
“Say it again,” Santiago orders you, his face hovering over yours, eyes liquid and hot. He pushes forward again, his pubic bone rubbing up against yours as he moves in fractions, looking for the place that will destroy you completely.
“Yours,” you manage to spit out, your body giving up fighting the ability to hold back anything.
“Do you want to come again?” he asks, his hips stilling. He smacks your thigh hard enough to sting. “Answer me.”
You nod, lip quivering.
His expression softens immediately. Even though you know it won’t make him any less relentless, it still makes warmth bloom in your chest.
He lowers your leg slowly, his hand massaging your skin to help the blood flow back in. “Okay, baby, okay. Let me take care of you.”
“Santiago,” you say, not even sure why.
“I’m here. I’m here, beautiful.”
He pulls out of you in one long pull. Your mouth drops open and your breath stops in your lungs. Santiago’s hands are firm as he rolls you over, lifting your hips with his hands until your knees naturally prop you up for him.
Santiago cracks the palm of his hand against your ass. You tense and yelp. Your hands grab into the pillow.
The other side, sharp and hot.
He leans over you, biting your earlobe hard enough for you to groan.
“Did you think I was going to take it easy on you just because you batted your eyelashes at me? That’s not how this works. Arch your back for me.”
You get your breath back. “Santi-“
“You want more? I can do this all night, baby.” He slides the palm of his hand over your ass. “Arch. Your. Back.”
You let the center of your back dip low toward the mattress, your ass rising up for him.
Santi makes a sound of approval. He rests the rough pad of his thumb over your clit, not moving. You struggle to keep your body in position, not push and move toward the friction you desperately need. You bite your lip hard.
“You know I love this view, yeah?” he says.
You nod, breathing through your nose.
“No one gets to see this but me. Tell me you understand. Words.”
You rest your forehead into the mattress. “I understand, Santiago.”
He moves his thumb gently around your clit. Just enough pressure to catch the hard, sensitive center. You whine.
“I love you,” he says.
You swallow around the tears that well up in your eyes. You nod, not trusting your voice to speak.
Your back aches beautifully as Santiago enters you again. Slowly, so you feel every single inch of him, he claims you.
He lays a hand in the dip of your back, his other digs into the fat of your hip. He moves slowly, building the friction and feeling back up in your body. You whine into the pillow.
“I know, baby. You’re almost there. Just a little longer.”
You hear the strain in his voice.
Santiago pushes himself flush against you, so deep he’s hitting something sharp and hot inside of you, something that he knows makes you gush around him, your soft walls unable to keep from contracting.
He pulls out and you feel how wet you are.
“She doesn’t want to let me go,” he says. “Look at that. You want me to come in this pussy?”
He runs his fingers around where you’re connected, your taught skin grabbing onto him, pulling him back in.
He pushes, moving his fingers out of the way and leaning forward to fuck you harder. He taps his fingers on your lips and you open for him.
“There you go, sweetheart,” he groans. “Suck me just like that, from both ends.”
You moan around his fingers, licking the taste of yourself from his hand, biting lightly as his hips snap faster against yours.
His breath is short and fast. He pulls your hips to meet him. Beads of sweat form and cool on your skin as you fight to hold back. Wait for him to give you permission.
You focus on the sound of your skin slapping together, letting your cunt tremble around him, the rest of you shaking, begging him without words to release you.
“Such a good girl,” Santiago pants. “So good for me, baby. We’re almost there. Fuck, you’re so wet you’re dripping all over the bed. You don’t do that for anyone else. Say it.”
His fingers dig hard into your skin.
“No one else,” you say, barely able to form words.
“You’re not wet enough are you? Hmm?” He smacks the outside of your thigh with the wet fingers he pulls from your mouth.
You shake your head.
He grunts, thrusting over and over. “Ask me to make you wetter. Ask me to fill you up.”
He sounds so desperate. You sob into the pillow.
Santi’s voice softens, but his pace is hard and steady. “Ask me. Then you can come, baby.”
“Please, please fill me up,” you beg him, your mouth forming the words before your brain can catch up. “Need you, Santi.”
“Good fucking girl. You can come now.” Santiago grabs both your hips and fucks you faster.
Your body snaps hard, release seizing your entire body, muscles tight as you feel Santiago come too. You scream into the bed, feeling his cum shoot, hot and thick inside your channel. Your body feels like it’s on fire, like you’re going to pass out. You probably would, if not for Santiago grounding you. The sounds he makes, losing control for long seconds, making you come even harder.
He holds you tight to him, until you feel a thin mixture of your cum and his run down the insides of your thighs.
He lays his hand on your back, rubbing gently. “Relax,” he says, out of breath.
You stretch your back slowly, working out the dull pain from presenting yourself to him for so long. He slips out of you and you gasp, a rush of fluid dripping out of you.
You look back to see Santiago, enraptured by the sight of you. He touches you gently, swirling his fingers around. Your body shivers.
Santiago’s eyes, huge and dark, lock onto yours as he gets off the bed. He leans down and kisses your tear-stained cheek. He grabs the box of tissues from the bed and takes out a few, running the paper up the sensitive skin of your legs. He cleans you gently before helping you roll over onto your back.
“Stay right here.” He kisses your lips and goes to the bathroom.
He could’ve been gone for five seconds, or five hours. You have no idea because you fall asleep immediately. You wake up to a warm, wet cloth between your legs and Santiago’s lips next to your ear.
“I ordered some food for us. Let me help you sit up,” he says, tossing aside the cloth. “Feel okay?
He hands you a glass of water, which you drink gratefully.
“Better than okay,” you say, handing him the rest of the water, watching his Adam’s apple bob under the scruff on his neck as he drinks.
“I love you, Santiago,” you say, your voice still a little hoarse.
He smiles, his crow’s feet crinkling at you. “I know, baby. Love you too. You’re mine, you know that, right? And I’m yours.”
You nod. “I know.”
He sets aside the empty glass, moving up on the bed so he can cup your face with one of his warm hands.
“I’ve never wanted a commitment before,” he says with an almost sad smile. “Probably because I was too young when I made my first one. The Army. It screwed me up. I didn’t know what commitment meant. I know now. It’s you.”
You prop yourself up and pull him toward you to kiss him deeply.
When you back away, his brows are furrowed together, his lips full and frowning. You can feel him overthinking things.
“If you’re not ready for everything,” he sighs, “then I can wait.”
A smile shoots over your lips. Even though Santiago is thoughtful and observant- patient, he is not.
He glares at you playfully. “You don’t think I can? I waited a whole month to ask you out.”
“Yeah, but we were having sex that whole month,” you laugh.
He scratches the stubble on his chin with a grin. “We were having great sex. Still are. And for the record, I didn’t ask you out because I didn’t think you’d say yes.”
The barest hint of insecurity flits over his face. Something you rarely see from him. You wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his neck.
“I’ll always say yes to you,” you say against his skin.
Santiago holds you close, running his hands up and down your back.
“So, when the food gets here, you’ll give me your egg roll?” he asks.
You shake your head. “No.”
You feel him smile. “Fair enough. But something real, between us, I mean. You’ll give me that, right?”
You nod. “Yes, Santiago. I want something real. I want everything with you.”
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This is almost 2 months late, but I thought I would go through the fics I read for the first half of the year and give you the ones that I still think about, the ones that stayed in my mind, that shattered my soul and broke my heart. I can't wait to do part two, because July and August have been gooood fic wise!
Please comment and reblog the works you read. That’s how it makes these wonderful authors thrive.
I always feel bad not mentioning every fics I read, because I want every writer to feel loved. So if I've read you and you don't see yourself on here, don't worry, I still loved your work, and that's why I do a monthly recap, because every single one of you is awesome.
Frankie Morales
Tonight You Belong to Me @intheorangebedroom - Frankie x ofc - completed series
The Boyfriend Act @capuccinodoll - Frankie x f!reader - ongoing series
Ramadhan with Frankie and Family @letsgobarbs - Frankie x f!reader - one shot
But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain @maroonpascal - Frankie Morales x f!reader - two parts
Boys like you @sizzlingcloudmentality - Frankie x Benny - one shot
Thirty showers to get to you jolapeno (on AO3) - Frankie x OFC - Completed series
Guapo @sawymredfox - Frankie x gn!reader - drabble
Din Djarin
Be-all and Endor by @djarins-cyare : Din x f!reader - completed series
Hatch @secretelephanttattoo - Din Djarin x gn!reader - one shot
Beskar Doll @justagalwhowrites - Din x f!reader - completed series
Joel Miller
Texas sun @from-the-clouds - Joel x reader - completed series
One heart - @lillaydee - Sheriff Joel x reader - completed series
Safe and Sound by guiltyasdave (on AO3) : Joel x f!reader - ongoing series
So Much to Lose by @auteurdelabre : Joel x reader - completed series
Falling by @damneddamsy : Joel x fem!oc - completed series (I still haven't finished it, I don't want it to end)
Colors @bluestar22x Joel Miller x legally blind f!reader - one shot
B.F.D @oliveksmoked - Joel Miller x f!reader - completed series
Cover me up @almostfoxglove - Joel Miller x OFC - completed series
Healed @whocaresstillthelouvre - Jackson Joel Miller x Doctor Female Reader - ongoing series
Through & practice @tinytinymenace - Joel x f!reader - two parts
Falling for you @burntheedges - Joel x f!reader - completed series
I knew I'd curse you for the longest time - @seethesunny - Joel x Tess - one shot
Javier Peña
That won't ever be me, bebita @iknowisoundcrazy Javier Peña x f!reader - one shot
A Lithany of Lethe @kiwisbell - Javier Peña x f!reader - one shot
Maladaptive Coping Mechanism @almostempty - Javier Peña x f!reader - two parts
The everything shower @iknowisoundcrazy - Javi P x f!reader - one shot
Other P Boys - Multiple P Boys
The Video Voicemail @artsy-girl-76 - Marcus Pike x f!reader - one shot
Love To Hate @deakyjoe Dieter x f!reader - one shot
Perfect Mrs guiltyasdave (on A03) - Dave York x f!reader - one shot
Awake @burntheedges - Marcus M x f!reader - one shot
Llano Estacado goodwithcheese (on AO3) - Modern!Pero Tovar x OFC - completed series
Finite Eternities @sizzlingcloudmentality - Reed Richards x Sue Storm x f!reader - ongoing series
If I should die before you @maggiemayhemnj - Jack Daniels x afab!Reader - one shot
The infinity Cube @littlemisspascal - Multiple p boys x f!reader - completed series
