Hip-Hop's Last Hope.

fair warning: this music is not politically charged, nor is it directly about what is being called ‘current events’ that has been happening for centuries. these are songs that i started making in March, when the lockdown was underway and i knew it’d be a long time before i’d be able to leave the house. i didn’t write raps about systemic racism back then, and i haven’t written about it now because 1) i’ve yet to find an authentic way to do it and 2) i honestly don’t think there IS a way to do it - not for me, at least. but, i chose the cover art intentionally, and for multiple reasons. . part of my choice was to express how i’ve dealt with racism in the past. despite what’s been in front of my face since some white kid touched my hair when i was young, i compartmentalized & pushed race into the back of my mind so i could focus on getting a good education, getting control of my depression & anxiety, and being a powerful artist. suppressing what my racial identity stirs up in me was my way of dealing for decades, and it’s only been recently that i’ve been able to cast that aside & address it head-on, in my own way…so while this may not be literally about racism, it IS a by-product of my survival mechanisms for fighting it. art has always been my escapism - my catharsis, my space to think interesting thoughts & speak freely on them. it’s the one place where my skin color doesn’t matter to me, and it’s my only true safe space...but it shouldn’t be. and that’s what I’m fighting for. . “North of the Wall.” three songs, written and recorded in the city of Portland. out on Spotify, Bandcamp and hella other platforms! (at Portland, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/CC3yCWADOXX/?igshid=c285rvy5xy3l

in case you forgot or maybe are just tuning in (hello, new friends!) i'm sharing a wealth of knowledge from a Trevor Noah lecture i was fortunate to hear via my job at the #nikerockgym. here’s part trois: . PART III: Not Politics, But Truths . somehow, America has taught us that human issues can be (and are) political ones. ‘i believe in equal rights’ is an actual political stance, but i guess when something as simple as wearing a mask in a pandemic can be politicized, it’s no wonder that’s the case. i’m not here to discuss politics because frankly, i’m not informed enough from that angle, but what i can certainly tell you is #blacklivesmatter is not an issue of politics, but of human truth. and that’s something Trevor emphasized to us - specifically, in the context of what companies & corporate bodies we work for & support. he suggested they be less afraid of taking a stand - “not engaging in politics, but engaging in truths.” . some of you probably work for a company that didn’t take a stance on systemic racism. they probably gave reasons like not wanting to alienate customers or make people uncomfortable, or maybe not wanting to ‘engage in politics.’ i think for me, some of the most disturbing forms of this have come from climbing gyms. some just flat out don’t believe in white supremacy, but some just don’t wanna make a CLEAR stance on BLM. and in some ways, i think this is worse. . y’all might think i’m crazy for saying this, but i’d wayyyy rather have a climbing gym throw up a burning cross in their front yard than make some weak-ass, half-ass stance on a very real, very impactful issue because they’re ‘scared of the backlash.’ the crazy thing to me is, who are they fearing the backlash of? their strongly-racist clientele, or people who want to be able to ignore racism when they climb? and that’s another thing - i’ve heard multiple times that some gyms cited wanting their members to be able to ‘put racism aside when they come climbing.’ well guess what? there's already a HUGE group of people who want to be able to put racism aside when they go climbing, but can’t…and they're called 'minorities.' so yeah, freeze that shit. your privilege is showing. (at The Circuit Gym, Tigard) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCrBg8BpYpz/?igshid=1owymlrs16sxx

who are your heroes in climbing? . this weekend - thanks to @mariorstan - i thought a lot about my answer to that, as well as who i believe are the heroes of our community at large. . i think in climbing media & culture, we typically celebrate performance-based achievement as the pinnacle of our sport. i’m a nerd, so i’ll put it in comic book terms…i think we mostly praise the “Superman” - the man with superhuman ability that could easily blend in among us. by day, he’s just another dude, but step into his sprinter van, and boom! - he's a mega-crusher. . we know who’s climbing hard, who’s winning competitions, and who is doing the most one-arm pinky front-lever weighted campus pull-ups - basically, a bunch of shit 99 percent of us can’t do. we also expect our pros to focus solely on performance & to inspire us to do the same, and we also tend to qualify ourselves via strength. a lot of us need to hit ‘magical’ grades like 5.12 to feel 'strong,' or need to win their local comps. we even qualify OTHERS this way - like our gym staff, particularly setters, coaches & instructors. . are most of (or even all) your climbing heroes elite-level athletes? chances are, a lot of you said yes. and it’s for that reason i’d challenge y’all to change that notion in our culture. i think we hyper-focus on 1% of our sport in many ways...we cheapen our experience & shortchange the value in our process. it does no better to glorify sends & wins than to praise impossible beauty standards or ‘the perfect relationship.’ climbing is more than “being strong." . to be clear for y'all in the back, i DO think we should hold space for elite athletes, and i’m of course amazed & inspired by what they do. i also fully acknowledge the incredible work they put into it. but here’s a thought: what if we rewarded them (or 'regular' climbers) for putting that much effort into starting climbing programs for at-risk youth, or helping maintain access to outdoor climbing areas, or creating safe spaces for marginalized groups to enjoy climbing? my guess is we would be far better off as a community. . to go back to my analogy, i don’t wanna get rid of Superman; i want to have a Justice League. (at Leavenworth German Village) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCl9DKEjHh5/?igshid=1cpjs7xcp4j88

hey, friends! . I just wanted to share something @climbingincolor was kind enough to let me put on their account. I hope that we can continue to find ways to make climbing a safer, more accessible sport for EVERYONE to enjoy. it’s done so much for me, and I want to make sure others can get the same experiences I’ve had. here’s to continuing that process together! #Repost @climbingincolor with @get_repost ・・・ “Climbing has always been more than a sport to me. From the time I started working in a climbing gym, it was, and always has been, my home. It taught me to seek my passions in life, even though they might scare me. It taught me I'm often much stronger than I give myself credit for. But most importantly, it gave me a community at a time where I struggled with my identity - as a black man who grew up without acceptance from black or white people - and it continues to be the lens through which I explore myself & grow as a human being. When I think about the profound experience I've had through climbing, I'm compelled to share it with everyone…but I'm most compelled to share it with young black boys & girls, whom I believe need it the most. I grew up with a lot of trauma, but also plenty of privilege, and I've gotten multiple opportunities that a lot of people in similar situations don’t. One of them - a full-ride scholarship to a university - is why I found climbing to begin with. It's for that reason, among many others, that I serve as an advocate for making climbing accessible to everyone, but especially for black people - for MY people.” -@deuceishiphop Photo credit: @yovdao #rockclimbing #diverisfyoutdoors #POCclimbing #boccrew #getstrong #theadventuregap #optoutside #climbing #unitedwesend #climbingday #climbinglife #exploretheoutdoors #diversity #poc #blackclimbers #blackclimbersmatter #blacksettersmatter #bouldering #leavenworth #washington #usa #outdoorclimbing (at Leavenworth, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCWctxQjmCc/?igshid=1ngygp6r0g5q6

earlier i posted about cancel culture, and i noticed a theme in some of my conversations - both in the comments section and in my DM’s. several people were distressed by not only my use of “nigga” but its juxtaposition with me saying “wypipo.” this was very intentional, and honestly i was waiting for someone to point it out because frankly, i think i've every right to say nigga. but here’s the counter-argument that caught my interest (and i’m paraphrasing): . ‘by using insulting language, you are alienating people - more specifically, the very people you want to reach most because they are the ones most likely to be alienated.’ . and you know what? they’re right. now before the rest of y’all rage on me, hear me out. i don’t think they’re right about how i use nigga, and i certainly don’t believe #wypipo is anywhere NEAR as insulting to whites as “nigger” is to Blacks. but, they are right about how my words can make others feel. and as i’ve said before, the gut reaction of our culture is to get defensive rather than listen...so by using whiteness as an insult, i AM potentially alienating people. and that’s not my goal. . my goal is to serve as an example of authenticity amidst dialogue. I'm not perfect, and i purposely don't edit myself because i think that's part of the problem - we're too afraid to show up as we are due to the backlash we might receive. i want us ALL to speak freely about race, embrace the ensuing friction, unearth our flaws, and dialogue until we reach an understanding by learning from each other. THAT'S progress, y'all - not hiding your thoughts & words out of fear, nor always agreeing. . once i post these, my words belong to y’all, and you interpret them based on your perspectives. that’s a powerful impact, and if I want others to take responsibility for their impact then I need to do it too. intentions don’t matter nearly as much as impact, so even though it’s frustrating for me to think someone got upset over #wypipo, i acknowledge that & will respect their feelings. after all, in a much larger sense that’s the same thing I ask of someone who defends flying a confederate flag. . hopefully, my anti-racist friends understand this. (at Nike World Headquarters) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCMBxN1jX-v/?igshid=1n19vdewcserk

yesterday, @meliseymo spoke candidly on “resilience” - a trait assigned to black people that subtly dehumanizes us. you should watch the whole video, but something she said stood out to me...it was about those who "support" the fight for equality but aren't truly here for us: . “you limit your worldview so that it’s only those who make you comfortable.” . that hit home for me, because I naturally want to make people comfortable, and i’m very aware that white people tend to feel safer around me than most black people. some of you followed me because of that. i get it - I smile, I’m friendly, I'm fair to even those who insult me. but those things don't make me more deserving of love than anybody else, much less any other black person. . some of you were devastated over Elijah McClain’s death because he was a sweet kid. and his death IS a horrible thing, but so were all the other black people lost to police brutality. maybe some weren’t so sweet. maybe some DID commit a crime. SO WHAT? if you say ‘black lives matter’ you better mean all of them - not just the ones you like. not just ones like me who are light-skinned, polite, and make you feel safe in your white world because you follow “black voices.” that shit is why they teach kids MLK was “peaceful,” or Rosa Parks was "old & tired" when she sat on that bus (she was 42 and very much not tired...well, she WAS tired of racism). . to be clear, I love you guys. I love that you listen because of who I am and how I communicate. but I challenge you to find black voices that make you uncomfortable because that's who you need to hear the most. maybe I DO make you uncomfortable, but that'll likely change. when that happens, read some Ta-Nehisi Coates or Malcolm X. follow powerful voices like Melise (honestly, you should just do that now). . if you’re white, you can take racial discomfort on & off like a hat, but it’s literally in black people’s skin. sorry-not-sorry to break it to ya, and it’s not your fault, but own it. and don’t cherry-pick which black voices you think matter - which black LIVES you think matter. all black lives matter. (I know that’s weird to say given the connotations, but it’s true). (at Nike World Headquarters) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCJpp1SDt5Z/?igshid=1l93jdto7g702

yo, i got SO fired up over this video (2nd pic). please watch it before reading - it’s just a few minutes. . some obstacles to equality are obvious. overt racism, ‘all lives matter,' and those who just don’t get it but then get defensive. but something we arguably need to look out for MORE is these “Guardians of Gotcha." . sorry @dawoods89, but I’ma talk about your post again because the comment section was all sorts of shitshows stapled together - 'it’s the music, stop bending your knee’ - classic #wypipo. but what bothered me most was people shaming HOW he tried to own up and policing him on how to say & do it. . i’ma repeat that. a white pro athlete came to us as a vulnerable, imperfect, apologetic person, and was met with a bunch of angry white people telling him he wasn’t doing enough. . i can’t believe i need to say this, but white people, PLEASE stop culturally appropriating how mad you are about racism. you are not ‘as mad’ than black people, and we don’t need you to be. let Daniel be human and grow. who the hell are you to say “yeah but what are you doing to fix racism?” nigga what are YOU doing to fix racism? cause it sure ain’t this. I know you wanna do good, but before you go virtue signaling, step back. IMO, Bill said it best: . “white people need to stop trying to cancel other white people whose heart is in the right place, but don’t get it exactly right on the first try.” . stop shaming people who are truly trying to do better. of COURSE they should put their money where their mouth is. but by attacking anyone who dares to make a stand because they're not 'doing it right’ you risk turning potential allies into enemies. then YOU become the problem. some of you even got folks fired over what YOU thought was racism that was just plain ignorance. not everyone who tweets 'all lives matter' is racist. some just don’t understand 'black lives matter.' anti-racism is a fight, but it doesn't take a nuclear bomb to kill a fly. stop defaulting to fisticuffs & start by talking to people. . on that note, my opinion is just that. if you disagree, i’ll listen openly. but don't co-op my feelings - ESPECIALLY if you are white. please & thank you. (at Stone Fort Bouldering) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCHF-L4DiM0/?igshid=1at3tavaaxaak

for those just tuning in, i’m amidst sharing my notes from a @trevornoah lecture i heard through Nike. i chose today’s point in light of what i said yesterday. . PART III: Remember to Live . when Trevor speaks, i want ALL the advice on dealing with race, social issues, and really life…but probably one of the more important things he said related to NOT dealing with those things - at least, not all the time. three words: “remember to live.” . this came to me as a newly-invigorated mouthpiece for change. until recently, i’d accepted racism as a fact of life. by age 10, i knew white folks would touch my hair, and by 20, i knew if i went to a sporting event with my white friends, i'd get ‘randomly’ searched. racism was just another set of rules to follow, and it was never going to change because white people were never going to change. but, i’ve seen something new this past month…that something lit a fire in me - one that screams “this is your chance - do something!” . BUT, fire can consume you. this idea - “remember to live” - rang true when i thought about myself & others who want to solve the world’s big problems. too often, i see friends with caring souls drown themselves in the misery of the world, forgetting that by doing so they sap their chances at fixing any of it. . don’t deal with issues 24/7. learn to intentionally compartmentalize, and take time to talk with others as human beings. there will always be bad news if you look for it, so some days, remove yourself from it. does this mean you should turn a blind eye to racism, hunger, sexism, pollution and the dying bees? of course not. but you are human, and humans need rest. we also need to develop our ‘circle of control,’ change what’s in it, and learn to let go of what’s outside of it. . with that in mind, i’m not always gonna post about race issues. i’m a climber & an artist, as well as a gamer, son, brother, and friend. so please don’t expect me to, because when i feel pressured to talk about race all the time is when i’ll know i’m not doing it for the right reasons. and if your first thought is ‘then are you just posting about race for attention?’ then i already wrote something for you yesterday. (at The Factory Bouldering) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCB9fPBD6yU/?igshid=bdtctlxjkksm

okay y’all. real talk, i did NOT think my post yesterday would spread the way it did. but the fact that it did, combined with a comment i saw on it and a huge influx of followers made me want to address a few things. . firstly, i need to clarify my intent with that post, as well as future posts that are similar. i want to spark conversations around race, and encourage climbers to look at what we're doing that makes climbing more (or less) accessible. it’s not about bashing Daniel Woods or whoever makes a mistake. it’s about bringing those people closer, then examining why their actions happened in our community. being angry is good, but being angry at him is hugely misdirected. i don’t wanna bring him down to get a message across. . i also want to address the thought that i’m doing these posts to get more followers. this is a totally valid thing to bring up, and there’s nothing i can say that proves to you why i’m doing them…but, i hope you can see my intent through my actions. racism is not some ‘trend’ that i picked up a week ago to boost my likes. it’s a coat that i put on when i step outside - one that i & all other minorities have worn every fucking day of our lives, and haunts us in ways that i’m still learning. and as far as black people go i’ve gotten off pretty damn easy. some people (as you’ve seen) have even been murdered over their race. . so no, i’m NOT doing this to boost my ego with more followers. i feel very strongly about anything i share on here, and yeah, more followers means more people hear it, which is in fact what i want. but i also want people who don’t agree with me to hear me, so i can talk with them & hopefully learn something new. if you’re not genuinely interested in what i’m talking about, i don’t want you to follow me. Instagram is not my source of self-worth. i have a great family, loving friends, a job at a company i love (@nike) & plenty of hobbies that do that for me. . i hope that if you ARE following me, you're not only interested in what i have to say, but you actually wanna do something about it. and if ever i make a post on here about race, i need you to know i’m not saying “look at me;” i’m saying “look at us. (at Forêt de Fontainebleau) https://www.instagram.com/p/CB--BGIjtiV/?igshid=bevstr59x1yk

okay. I wasn’t going to make any posts this weekend, but I gotta be honest y’all, I just heard about something in my mentor @powercompanyclimbing ‘s podcast that made me both really angry and very disappointed in the climbing community. and I would be remiss if I didn’t at least discuss it while my mental iron is hot. . some of you may have seen @dawoods89 post about a climbing video he was in 10 years ago where he says the n-word. he was rapping the lyrics to a song, which though it’s not an example of classic KKK-style racism, still does not make him saying it okay. but, he did it, and it was included in his video of him trying “The Game,” which HE AND THE FILMMAKER Chad Greedy posted to YouTube for public viewing. . I need you to understand why this is so disgusting. it’s not about Daniel Woods at all, even though he shouldn’t say the n-word. it’s about the fact that they recorded it then CHOSE to leave it in the edited footage - footage of a freaking professional athlete that would get viewed by thousands of fans. this is not some clip of him talking in the privacy of his home or someone eavesdropping on his conversation; they willingly kept it in. why? my guess is they didn’t expect to catch heat for it - that they felt like their audience would be accepting of a ‘light’ display of cultural appropriation. THAT’S why I’m pissed off right now. for some reason, that’s totally okay with us climbers. and again, I don’t think Daniel Woods is the problem, and he shouldn’t be canceled for mistakes that he eventually owned up to. it’s our community that’s the problem...I’m disappointed to say that there’s much more racism than I thought, but I’m glad to know it moving forward. . I don’t want your guilt. I don’t want your sympathy. and I don’t want your apologies. I want action, and REAL CHANGE. and I want it right fucking now. this needs to stop. (at Red River Gorge) https://www.instagram.com/p/CB9D8BPjBK-/?igshid=uck3ek8aw5ai

i was going to post the next piece of my “Talking with Trevor” writings today, but i decided to give you all (and myself) a break to post something lighter. ironically, that idea is something Trevor Noah talked about - “remember(ing) to live” - but lemme stop myself before i end up doing that post by accident, lol. . if you’ve followed me for a while or know me personally, you know i love culinary arts. my momma is a stellar cook, and from a young age she taught me a lot of practical life skills, cooking being one of them. that being said, i didn’t get into the artistic side of it until i got obsessed with MasterChef in 2013, which led to me challenging myself to cook something new & crazy once a week. i would pick insanely-hard dishes, and try my best to do them…to put it in climbing terms, i was a V1/2 chef seeking out V5+ dishes, hahaha. i made HELLA mistakes, but i made them quickly. and in a mere 12 weeks i dramatically upped my cooking game. . then i graduated college, my girl left me, and i got a job that slowly became miserable. i stopped cooking, and didn’t really pick it up again until last year, when i became obsessed with ANOTHER culinary show: The Great British Baking Show. even when i was cooking, i had always been terrified by the precision & finality of baking…so, i repeated the same weekly process i did with cooking. again, i failed fast, failed often, and got very frustrated & anxious. but over time, i became a pretty damn good baker. . i guess what i’m getting at is, we all suddenly have a lot of free time, so you might feel pressure to use it wisely. i for sure did. this is a good thought, but remember that oftentimes with a little intent and a lot of willingness to fail, improving isn’t as far away as it might seem, and it doesn’t take as much time as you might think. i dedicated just one night a week (about 3-4 hours) to baking - something i was very uncomfortable with - and gained not just a lot of new skills, but a lot of confidence. find something like that for yourself, and carve out a little bit of time for it regularly. you’ll be surprised what happens. (also shoutout to @hellofresh - some of these dishes were their recipes!) (at Portland, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/CB3qi3vjn06/?igshid=slcnvzqb0btm

here you go: “If You Didn’t Send It’s Too Late.” https://deuceishiphop.bandcamp.com/album/if-you-didnt-send-its-too-late . . #newmusic #climbing #rockclimbing #rockclimbers #rapmusic #newrap #coronavirus #quarantinelife #quarantinemusic #portlandoregon #portland #pdx #blackclimbersmatter #motivationmonday #sorryforthewait #mixtape #blackclimbers #blackclimbersmatter #climbingmusic #musictoclimbto (at Portland, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/B--BUUJjGYM/?igshid=7kb4cwuupq1q

you can thank @soldierclimber for provoking today’s philosophical waxing, hahaha…but today, i’ve been thinking a lot about my mental disparity between my body image and my body’s performance. . . when i think about my overall health and what my body is capable of physically, i’m so proud of myself…in addition to being able to do what i need day-to-day, i’m able to perform pretty much any physical activity i want. i can climb decently well, i can run pretty damn far, and i can lift quite a bit. if i’m shown a new sport, i can stumble through the basics, and i if i really want to, i can improve at it. my body is something i’m really proud of…until i look at it in the mirror. then i hate it. i lambast that it doesn’t have abs, or that its chest is flabby. i’m okay with the stretch marks near my pecs now, but that took almost a decade of self-hate to finally accept. the list goes on and on. . . i know part of this is inherent to my flaw of seeking value; “if you looked better, women would actually want you.” “if you had abs, you could take your shirt off and not feel ashamed.” always seeking more, yet never satisfied when it comes. yet, when Ryan asked me if i’d rather have a body like a MCU character that couldn’t do anything or a body that was healthy & performed well but looked bad, the choice is obvious. of COURSE i care more about health. so my rhetorical question to y’all is this: what is that gap?? how interesting is it that it’s possible to have what you want out of yourself, yet despise yourself for something that isn’t even really that important to you? and lastly, why do we allow such nonsense to take up space in our brains? just food for thought. anyways, i’m bout to put on my running shoes, cause for SOME reason Ryan thinks he can outrun me in a week. we’ll see about that!! 📷: @mowerpower (at Leavenworth, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-pu3G9jwuM/?igshid=1uz338yv5kei3

another Saturday spent doing what keeps me sane, while also drinking the last of my Ale-8...LORDY WHAT AM I GONNA DO 😭 #maschinemk3 #maschine #nativinstruments #musicproducer #ale8proud #drummachine #producer #gingerale #ale8 #beatmaker #hitmaker #portlandoregon #portland #pdx #artist #staycreative #staysane #quarantine (at Portland, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-kapHKDMHn/?igshid=1grw15hyucuma

me doing what I was born to do...SQUEEEEEZE 💪🏾😎💪🏾 . also, if you have not seen the video that V’s caption references, go find that clip RIGHT now. “Little Batman ‘Flies’ Down the Stairs of His Maryland Home.” kills me every time. 😆 . #Repost @yovdao with @get_repost ・・・ Don't let that cape boost yo' head up no mo'. I thought you was gon walk down the top steps. #beast #batman #throwback #pebblewrestling #climb #Leavenworth #Washington #pnw #pnwonderland #love #bouldering #adventure #climbing #rockclimbing #sendit #optoutside #rei1440project #clymblife #travel #boulderinglife #outdoors #outdoorproject #getoutside #neverstopexploring #blackclimbersmatter #rockclimber (at Leavenworth, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-c3n_fjRfn/?igshid=16g6631bgzlmh

(skip the first section if you want - it’s just me complaining.) . . I’m not gonna lie, y’all...I’m not doing super well in quarantine. it’s weird, because overall I’m healthy and safe...I’ve just got a lot of contradictory emotions happening. I feel very fortunate to have my essential needs met and to be living in a safe place, but I also feel selfishly trapped in my first world problems of not being able to climb or leave the house. I feel unmotivated to work, rap, workout, or do anything really, but then beat I’ll myself for not using this time to create like I always say I never have enough time to do. “Devin you always complain about never having time to make music or paint or create a better climbing community, and here you are with ALL this down time, just moping. how selfish are you?” I know I’m supposed to keep in contact with people, but I abandon my phone for days at a time. sometimes in the day I’ll feel upset, then immediately feel guilty because I have no right to be upset - there’s people who are sick, even dying, and others (some of which are my loved ones) who are completely out of income right now, and suffering a slow financial attrition they can’t do anything about. things are insane right now in the real world - insane in a way that first-world quarantine could never compare. . . half of this is just me venting frustration with my personality flaws, but I also hope that if you’re reading this and also feeling like this, know that you’re not alone. I think the best thing people like us can do is stay connected to others. check on your friends who are sick, furloughed or laid off. donate to your favorite small businesses whom you know are suffering from this. keep a positive vibe when you talk to others, even if you don’t feel like it (after all, few of us do in a time like this). we can’t do much, but we can all something, and that effort combined is of extraordinary magnitude. take care of yourselves friends, and take care of each other. 👊🏾 📷: @austenomdahl (at Portland, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-aP2e4jrwo/?igshid=vu5imegcwh7m