me in progress

The last two years have been the happiest of her entire life. Married to the love of her life. Joyful, endless days spent with Benedict, and six months ago, adding their little daughter, at My Cottage. Now, during the social season, spending time with their family. Doting on her nieces and nephews and watching as everyone dotes on her little girl. Their precious Vivi receiving the love and adoration Sophie herself was denied healing her heart a little. 

It's only when her past life trickles in this way that she stresses. 

“It will look suspicious if we do not invite them,” Sophie points out. “I think we must.”

“Maybe they will have the good taste to decline,” Kate says. 

“We are hosting the social event of the season,” Daphne points out. “I do not know that they can afford to send their regrets.” 

“Whatever they decide, we will manage,” Violet assures them all, taking Sophie’s hand. “If nothing else, Anthony and Benedict will be on high alert.”

“I so wish they did not have to be,” Sophie says, her voice soft and sad. 

***** 

“I do not like it at all,” Anthony declares as he and Benedict walk the pall mall fields after their siblings. 

“There is not much we can do,” Benedict comments. “We must keep up the ruse that Araminta and Rosamund are Sophie's family. Meaning they are invited to every ball the family throws.”

Anthony huffs out a breath. “There must be some way we can make their presence more tolerable.”

Benedict purses his lips and looks back to the house, where Sophie is laughing with Kate and Penelope and Simon. “She has been so light and happy since Vivi turned four months…” He looks to Anthony. “I need to write a letter.”

*****

To the Honorable Lady Barnaby at Barnaby House, London, England 

Sister!

I am so looking forward to seeing you and Eugene this coming week at Aubrey Hall. I think it has the makings of a marvelous time. 

Unfortunately, we were obliged to invite your mother and sister as well, though it worries Sophie. 

I was hoping I might impose on your good nature to aid me in keeping them from causing damage during what my family hopes will be a splendid few days in the country. 

Either way, we shall see you and yours very soon. Please do feel free to bring little Adam along, as he has yet to meet his little cousin. And if you would like to come a few days early, you would be most welcome. 

Lots of love

Your brother 

Benedict 

*****

“Is that the Barnaby carriage that just pulled up?” Sophie asks curiously as she turns from the window to her husband. 

Benedict is sitting on the floor of their bedroom with Vivi in his lap, helping her play with a set of colorful wooden building blocks. 

She's distracted for a moment by the scene. Her handsome husband, sweet and funny and wonderful, playing with their beautiful daughter. 

Sophie thinks maybe this is what heaven will be like, should she reach it some day. 

Benedict gives her a sheepish, lopsided grin. “I may have written to Posy and offered for her to arrive early. Adam and Vivi have yet to meet, and…with Araminta and Rosamund attending all the festivities and the ball.”

Sophie softens at the admission. “You called in reinforcements.”

“At the very least the Barnabys are good company,” he says, getting to his feet with Vivi in his arms. 

Sophie sighs and tugs him down into a soft kiss. “Yes, they are. Thank you, Benedict.”

He returns the kiss and then kisses her forehead. “Let us go greet your sister.”

*****

“Have they been over to yours much?” Benedict asks as he and Eugene sit in the billiards room with a drink after dinner. 

Eugene shakes his head. “Twice, maybe? To see Adam. We'll. Araminta has been twice. Rosamund visited once, burst into tears and never came back. It was alarming.”

Benedict nods. “We heard nothing when Vivi was born. I half expected to receive a condolence letter.”

Eugene chuckles. “Araminta really detests you and Sophie together.”

“Mhm. Rosamund wanted me to court her,” Benedict explains. It's easy to omit the rest of the truth because this part isn't a lie. 

Eugene wrinkles his nose. “Could you imagine?”

“I would rather not,” Benedict mutters. 

***** 

“She is perfect, Sophie,” Posy gushes as she holds Vivi. “What a gorgeous baby.”

“Thank you,” Sophie beams. “I was worried about motherhood, but I find I am better at it than I thought I would be.”

“I feel similarly,” Posy tells her. “We did not have the best role model…”

They both go silent, the ticking of the clock on the mantle and Vivi's coos the only sound for a few moments.” 

“They are coming tomorrow, with everyone else,” Sophie tells her. “I find myself so nervous. Not for myself, oddly, but…but for Benedict. For Vivi.”

Posy nods understandingly. “You know how to weather Mama's storms. Benedict grew up with a kind mother. He does not understand. And Vivi is just an innocent baby.”

Sophie nods, swallowing. “I wish to protect my family.”

Posy smiles at her. “Araminta preys on weakness and discontent. The best way to defend yourself is to show her how truly happy you are. Rosamund, too.” 

Sophie blinks. “So you are proposing we throw our babies and husbands in their faces.”

Posy giggles. “Completely.”

*****

Sophie is brushing her hair before bed, forgoing a lady's maid as usual in favor of the quiet. Benedict is helping to get Vivi settled in the nursery as he does every night. 

She smiles at him as he walks into their bedroom. “How is she?”

“Done for, I fear,” Benedict grins back. “Far too much excitement for our Vivi.”

She watches him begin to undress for bed. “Thank you for writing to Posy, Benedict. Truly.”

“If there is anyone who knows how to navigate Araminta Gun, it is her,” Benedict responds. 

Sophie holds out her arms, reaching for him, and he immediately steps over, kneeling in front of her chair. She cups his jaw and kisses him tenderly, slowly, drawing a soft moan from him. 

She pulls away and gazes at him. “In talking to Posy, I realized that I am not afraid of what Araminta could do to me, but…what she may try to do to Vivi. And you.”

“You do not have to worry about me,” Benedict promises, gazing up at her in concern. “And we will protect Vivi from harm. I promise.” 

“Of course I must worry about you,” Sophie laughs softly. “You are my husband. It is part of my job.” 

“Sophie…” 

She strokes the back of his neck. “Posy also suggested that a good way to combat Araminta and Rosamund is to show them how happy we are.” 

Benedict smiles slowly. “That is a very good plan.” 

“I thought so as well,” Sophie agrees. “I would like to start tonight.” 

He nods, getting to his feet and scooping her up into his arms. 

She squeaks and holds onto him tightly. “Benedict,” she giggles. 

“I am very much in favor of starting tonight,” he tells her, beaming at her as he gently tosses her onto the bed, sliding down on top of her and kissing her deeply. 

Sophie hums happily and holds onto him tightly.

***** 

“I do not see why we had to come here,” Rosamund complains as she exits the carriage with her mother.

“It is the event of the season,” her mother responds begrudgingly. “We must make an appearance…and hold up our end of the bargain.” 

Rosamund pouts a little, but nods as they move with the rest of the guests through the house. 

It’s a beautiful house; enormous and decorated beautifully. Secretly, Rosamund had been hoping that the Bridgertons had bad taste; that the Viscountess maybe had redecorated Aubrey Hall wretchedly, but her luck is just not that good.

It’s all perfect.

They move through to the back gardens, and again, everything is perfect. There are places to lounge; there are games, and tents to find shade under. Refreshments. 

And Bridgertons.

So many Bridgertons.

They take up an entire tent, laughing and lounging, watching over the many little children between them all. The Duke and Duchess’s three small children, the Viscount and Viscountess’ two sons. The young Lord Featherington and his little brother. 

Sophie’s brat. 

And then there’s Posy, surprisingly, and her own son.

“Mama…” Rosamund says, a little upset.

Her mother follows her gaze and narrows her eyes. “Posy…” 

“What is she doing over there with them?” Rosamund whines. 

“Let us go find out,” her mother growls, as they move towards the group.

***** 

“Sister!” Posy beams as she sees Rosamund and their mother approaching. “Hello. Lovely day, is it not?” 

“What are you doing with all of these…Bridgertons?” Araminta snaps, looking offended. 

“Adam and Belinda have become lifelong friends,” Posy beams, gesturing towards her son and the Duke and Duchess of Hastings’ daughter. “Adorable, are they not?” 

Rosamund rolls her eyes. 

“Do not be dense, Posy,” Araminta orders.  

“Lady Penwood,” Viscount Bridgerton greets, with Sophie’s daughter in his arms. 

The child is gorgeous, Rosamund has to admit. Her face is shaped just like Sophie’s, with big green eyes and dark, wavy hair. 

It is infuriating. 

Araminta curtsies, as does Rosamund. 

“Lord Bridgerton,” Araminta greets. “We were merely…speaking with my daughter.” 

“Ah,” Lord Bridgerton responds, obviously unimpressed. “I thought perhaps you were looking for Sophie. She and Benedict went to get refreshments. Which gave me the perfect opportunity to shower my precious niece with affection and remind her who her favorite uncle is.” 

Posy beams at him and then turns to her sister and mother. “The Viscount is shockingly good with babies.” 

The child coos in agreement and rests her cheek against the Viscount’s. 

The Viscount chuckles and kisses the child’s head. “Enjoy yourself. We shall see you later, yes?” 

Rosamund watches him walk off with the baby, and glowers at Posy before storming off. 

“I never thought you would be so cruel, Posy,” Araminta admonishes. 

Posy merely smiles. “See you at the ball, Mama.” 

She traipses off, just as Sophie and Benedict return. 

“There you are,” Posy beams. 

Sophie watches Araminta and Rosamund rush off and frowns, looking concerned. 

“They were both very upset,” Posy explains. “Because I am happily here with your family instead of waiting for them.” 

Benedict frowns as well, looking around. “Where is my daughter?” 

“Anthony has her,” Posy tells him.

Benedict lights up as he catches sight of his brother. “I would like my baby back now, please!” he calls, rushing off.

Sophie blows out a slow breath. “Were they cruel to you?” 

“No,” Posy says simply. “Mama deemed me the cruel one.” 

Sophie gives her a confused look. 

“For being happy without them,” Posy explains. “I think Rosamund is still quite jealous that you are living the life she wanted, and she is still looking for a husband.” 

“She would not have loved Benedict,” Sophie says quietly. 

Posy takes her arm gently. “No, she would not. But you do.” 

Sophie smiles slowly at her. 

Posy smiles back. “Let us go enjoy the refreshments you brought back, and watch our children and husbands be silly.” 

Sophie nods and follows her.

One: That Sophie needs a good boy.

And two: that Benedict needs a partner in crime.

He spends mornings rolling around in the grass while Sophie does whatever it is Sophie does. Often, he gets a garden snack from it! A strawberry or a cucumber. It is the best.

His afternoons are spent chasing after Benedict. Sometimes they swim! It's also the best! Sometimes they also sit in the garden, but there are no garden snacks. Whatever Benedict is doing smells funny, but hr seems content to smear it on a big piece or paper on an easel.

When Mrs. Crabtree shows up with tea, Fresco gets a sweet treat! That is also the best.

Sometimes Benedict throws a stick and Fresco runs like the wind to get it and brings it back and then Benedict throws it again and that's the best, too!

One time they played tug rope so hard in the great room that Benedict flipped over the sofa and Fresco had to go lick him better.

At night, Fresco sleeps by the fire on a big fluffy blanket, though sometimes he is unceremoniously kicked out of the bedroom for reasons he doesn't understand.

That's not the best, but there's a fire going in the study and it's comfy in there.

One time people came to stay and they had a dog too!

Newton is short, but nice. They sniffed each other's butts.

Kate gives wonderful belly rubs.

Anthony is not to be trusted.

Every time Anthony gets too close to Benedict, Fresco puts himself between them. And he doesn't know what they're talking about, but Anthony looks annoyed. Benedict just smiles.

Benedict smiles are good.

Sometimes they go away for a million years! Days and nights in someplace called "town."

Fresco hates "town."

One time, Sophie comes back smelling different and Fresco knows to protect.

Protect Sophie.

And then a million years later, there's another human. This one's name is Vivi.

Protect Vivi.

He sleeps in the nursery now. He listens for Vivi noises.

Sometimes Benedict sits with Vivi in his arms for hours, and Fresco sits at his feet.

"Good boy, Fresco," Benedict says.

And strangely, so does Benedict.

“You were concerned about falling pregnant,” he reminds her gently. “The last thing I want is to put you through that level of stress again.”

He's right, of course. They fought so hard to be together. Benedict fought so hard to love her. It'd be ridiculous to court scandal now.

He's staying at his bachelor lodgings. Sophie is staying at Bridgerton house.

The same room, right across from Benedict's bedroom.

The room where he confessed his love, and she hers.

And they acted on it.

Sophie deems herself deeply silly for missing that room; wanting to feel his presence at night when he's gone. Wanting to wrap herself in his blankets and fall asleep looking at all the ephemera that makes Benedict uniquely Benedict.

To say nothing of the memories.

She gives in one sleepless, cold night, when the house is quiet. She slips out of bed and sneaks across the hall, slipping inside the dark bedroom. She'll wake early and sneak back.

It's not quite as she hoped. The bed is too cold. The room is too tidy.

Sophie sighs softly. There's just not enough Benedict in the room now, and it's a poor substitute for the real thing.

She misses the feel of his arms around her and his steady breath against the side of her head. The rise and fall of his chest.

It takes time to find sleep, and she's almost there when the door creaks open. She gasps and flops back, hurling the blanket over her head, only to hear the warm, familiar chuckle of her fiance.

“Sophie.”

“...Yes?”

“What are you doing in my bed?” He asks, stepping closer.

“...Sleeping.”

He tugs the blanket down gently and smiles at her in the darkness as he sits on the mattress. “Is the bed in your room not to your liking?”

“It's fine,” Sophie tells him. “It is just…just not…”

“This bed?” He asks softly, reaching out to brush her hair from her eyes. “That we shared”

She swallows and nods.

“I just came for my crayons,” he explains. “I turned my lodgings upside down looking for them before I realized they were here. And so are you, it turns out.”

Sophie reaches out, gripping his waistcoat and pulling him in slowly, kissing him.

Benedict moans against her mouth, hovering over her. “I miss you.”

She merely nods and starts to unfasten his waistcoat, kissing him again. “This feels like a dream,” she mutters.

“If it is, I hope I do not wake up for quite a while,” he smiles as his lips trail to her collarbone, tugging at her chemise.

“Benedict…”

“I know we agreed to keep things respectable,” he mutters against her skin. “But you are in my bed, and I find that utterly unfair.”

Sophie pulls him into a hungry kiss as she shoves his waistcoat off and then pulls at his shirt, and he shifts over her, kissing down her body as he takes the chemise with him, settling between her legs, breathing against her center.

She shudders, her fingers gripping into his hair. “Yes,” she whispers.

He devours her eagerly, sucking rhythmically as his nose nudges against her clit. He moans softly as her fingers tighten in his hair. He pulls back a little to slip two fingers inside of her, thrusting slowly and watches her writhe. “Some nights this is all I think about,” he murmurs. “You, in this bed, taking what you need from me.”

It's so hard to think. To respond to anything when he's so singularly focused on her this way. All she can do is moan his name again and let her release wash over her as he breathes slowly over her clit. She never imagined being so sensitive, but being without him for a few months has apparently made her needy.

She's never felt wanton before, but this…

Sophie pulls him up, kissing him again, cradling him between her legs, unable to get enough of him.

“Sophie…”

She can feel him through his trousers, hard and insistent as he presses against her. “I need you,” she whispers in his ear, making him moan into her shoulder.

“You said-”

“I know what I said,” she argues. “I cannot let you leave here without having you.”

Benedict pulls back to look at her, heat and surprise in his eyes. He presses kisses all over her face, and then it's a mad scramble to push his clothing off.

He feels so good; better than their first time as he thrusts in a steady rhythm, watching her for her reactions, adjusting as he notices what makes her breath hitch; what makes her clench harder around him.

He eventually shifts behind her, kissing her neck as he reenter her, and it rips a soft cry from her lips.

Their pace quickens as they barrel towards release, and they find completion together, her fingers gripping his neck, and his face buried in hers, breathing hard.

“Oh god,” he breathes out. “Sophie…”

She keeps her eyes shut. “Stay,” she whispers. “Stay with me.”

He nods against her neck, going boneless against her.

“It is only a month to the wedding,” she mutters, her hand sliding up to stroke his hair. “If if I do fall with child…it is only a month.”