Peter tattle telling on Frank
"Quit hogging up the damn TV remote!" Frank scolds at Peter.
"I'm trying to pick something that isn't as brooding as you!"
The front door opens, and you shuffle in with groceries.
"Hey, boys. Everything okay?"
Frank grabs the bags from you and gives you a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Everything's just fine."
"What's wrong, Peter? Why do you look so sad?"
"Frank yelled at me over the TV remote."
"Frank! Apologize! Peter is our guest!"
Frank turns to Peter. "Sorry. You gotdamn shrimp."
"Frank. Make Peter feel at home, or I will rip into you like last time."
"Yes ma'am." Frank mumbles shamefully, scratching the back of his neck.
The moment you head to the refrigerator, Peter gives Frank a shit eating grin.
Lord, somebody help me. Frank thinks.
"Can you two try not to kill each other and go make sure the patio tables are nice and clean?"
"You've got our word!" Peter smiles, already scurrying to the patio.
For a few minutes, things are going fine. Until you decide to check on them and Frank is literally trying to wipe the table with Peter.
"Your full name is Francis?!" Peter asks befuddled.
"Darlin', he's being a little-"
"That's enough out of you. You shouldn't be mean to him just because you feel like it!"
"Oh come on, you mad at me?" Frank asks.
"Mad isn't even the word! If I catch you one more time, Frank Castle…"
Peter waits until you walk back into the house to cackle at the sight of the 'big, bad Punisher' getting bossed around by his wife.
By the time dinner finally rolls around, they seem to be under control. Until you hear a shuck under the table.
"No, ma'am! Just adjusting myself." Peter scrambles.
You continue eating, then hear another shuck. You look up from your plate to see them pointing at each other to avoid getting in trouble. You shake your head.
"…He kicked me!" Peter says.
"Frank! Go eat on the couch!"
"Alright, alright." Frank grumbles. He knows he's in the wrong, which is why he doesn't even try to talk himself out of punishment.
Peter's little grin goes undetected, and he's willing to let this game go on as long as he wants.
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