My dear lgbt+ kids (and supporters),Ā
Imagine you travel by train and suddenly become witness to some uncomfortable interaction:Ā
An adult man sits down next to a teenage girl and says sexually suggestive things to her. A group of people loudly makes racist jokes about a black passenger. Someone shouts the f-slur at a gay couple.Ā
You would probably want to do something about it - and at the same time, you may be scared to insert yourself in a situation like that. Directly telling the creep āShut up and leave them aloneā might just make them angry and make it even worse. If you walk up to the victim and askĀ āDo you need help?ā, they may just say no - because theyāre too embarassed or they donāt want to escalate the situation, or even because theyāreĀ āfrozenā (some people freeze when theyāre in shock and scared). And of course you may also worry about your own safety.Ā
A good alternative toĀ āShut upā orĀ āDo you need helpā is simply this:Ā āHelloā.Ā
Strike up a conversation with the victim without even acknowleding the creep. You can pretend you know them (āHello Jessica! How are you? I havenāt seen you in agesā) but you can also just go for random small-talk. Ask them for the time, talk about the weather, whatever. Just talk to them. Itās okay to keep it simple: When overwhelmed or in shock, itās actually easier to reply to yes/no questions.Ā
Why? There are multiple benefits:Ā
- You simply distract the creep. Sometimes thatās all it takes for them to shut up!Ā
- Creeps often seek out people who are by themselves. By talking to the person, you subtly show them that this person is not alone and is not an easy target.Ā You remind them that people are watching.Ā
- You also remind the victim that they are not alone and might āun-freezeā them. They may feel powerless. By offering conversation, you place the power back in their hands.Ā
- By offering friendly conversation, you indirectly offer the victim a chance to say what they need now (someone who will walk them to a different seat, someone to alert security, a phone to call their parents or a friend so they can pick them up from the train station etc)ā¦ without putting them on the spot by directly asking them.Ā
theartofmadeline
germansingergirl
origamiaround
titsay
2087
areudirty
romaincrisis
