Hey.

Bus drivers who see you running and open their hole are better public servants than any cop.

their what now?

Wow

I haven't laughed this hard in a while omg

a lava lamp is one of the most things of all time

men with earrings are just men without earrings with earrings

I can’t stop thinking about how men with earrings are just men without earrings with earrings

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Who the fuck wrote this

Oh to be a fat bear, unstoppable by coronavirus, popular in mechanics.

What the fuck

This comes around every thanksgiving for like 3 years running now and it activates my fight or flight response

The only thing I trust is the cake but there’s a huge cursed vibe like a god of chaos and disorder decided to have a photoshoot and this is the result

@gods-unchosen-one s Thanksgiving layout

Fully Immersive experience

not enough rage and hatred for chegg.com and study.com

not enough love and compassion for quizlet.com and yahooanswers

compresses you into a zip file and doesn't extract you lol

He said in an interview that he shouldn’t have been surprised that they would have no respect for vets when they are gassing moms

Honorary Antifa Supersolider

might fuck around and start putting the comma in the year

August 16th 2,020

New vet today asked me if my eyeless dog was blind and like ??? oh god I hope so????

i was never taught the little song about which months have how many days so ive basically just been guessing my whole life

Ok why did noone tell me that book shrek judt absolutely FUCKS