the life of a derp.

I do gud job.

-don’t tell ur coworkers jack shit. You might think they’re your friends but they will sell you out for a paperclip -everything men tell you is a lie -store brand vanilla ice cream is better than name brand -pregnancy tests from the dollar store work just as well as $20 ones -don’t lie to your doctor -seriously don’t -at some point your card will get declined for $6 and nobody but you will care. It happens to everyone at some point in their life -you will become bffs with your mom (unless she’s a mean person, then skip this one) -you’ll wish you took the advice adults gave you when you were younger, even though it annoyed you at the time -people you went to high school with will become teachers, doctors, etc but they will still do drugs and it will be weird. That’s life, my dude -never underestimate the power of new underwear

Always coming back