The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

Love Begins

I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Sweet Seals For You, Always
almost home
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Misplaced Lens Cap
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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@deriah
The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

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“who is linkin park?” - one shot KO by my younger coworker
I am going to unfold all of your clean laundry and leave it in a pile on your bed
i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time
for the uninitiated
must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason
I love you being trans I love you trans women i love you gender exploration I love you self discovery
[link to the Reddit post]
[ID: two screenshots of a reddit post on r/offmychest by user awaythrowjessie, titled "My girlfriend made me realize I'd be happier as a woman". it reads as follows:
I am 33, born male, and have had major self image issues my entire life. I hated seeing myself in mirrors, pictures, you name it. I honestly thought it was kinda normal so I just accepted it.
Now about 3 weeks ago I was at my girlfriends house, we have been dating a little over a year now, and have plans to move in together soon. Now recently she has shaved her head to support of her friends with cancer (side note thenl treatments for that friend are going very well). She had since bought some wigs to wear while her hair grows back out. We were joking around as I have male pattern baldness, and when she went to the bathroom I jokingly threw a wig on and waited. She came our, saw me we laughed for a bit and she said "you know I think you'd make a pretty girl" we laughed some more but those words triggered something in me.
Cut to a few night's ago she asked why I've been acting weird lately and I just told her how i was feeling. She said "alright let's do this " and when I asked what she told me she was going to give me a bit of a makeover and put me in one of her dresses and if i liked it then good. I was nervous and asked what if I did like it would she still be attracted to me. She just responded with "Baby you know I'm bi, guy or girl you're still mine." Her words reassured me honestly i love her so much.
Anyways she finished the make up, fitted a wig on me perfectly and got me in a dress and even helped me put a bra on and stuff in a little so i could see what breasts would kinda look like on me. Now I expected to see myself in the mirror, laugh this off and move on right, but I didn't. She did an unbelievable job, like I looked like I had been born a woman, and when I saw myself in the mirror for the first time in my entire life, I liked what I saw. I probably stared at myself for a good 10 minutes before she finally asked me something. She asked what I wanted to be called. After a few seconds I said Jessie, I always like the name Jessie. She whispered in my ear "well Jessie, you look beautiful." And that was it, I knew this was who i wanted to be.
I'm nervous now though, my friends will accept it but my family are, well let's just say not very progressive. But this is what I want.
end ID]
there’s an update!!
[link]
[ID: A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/offmychest by user awaythrowjessie, titled “I went out as Jessie for the first time and I was honestly surprised”. The screenshot reads: Hello everyone, this is an official follow up to my previous post that went viral and caught me off guard.
So me and my girlfriend, (Who has officially agreed to disclose her name lol) Emily, had gone shopping for me to get me outfits and the like. Earlier today i put on one of those outfits and officially faced the world as Jessie for the first time.
To say I was nervous would be an understatement. We went to our local mall and I was almost shaking, thankfully Emily calmed me down and said if anyone said anything mean to me she'd handle it, then playfully threw up her hands like a boxer lol. We stepped inside and started walking around going in stores and I noticed something, no one was staring. Like at all. I live in an area that still has issues with LGBTQ people so I was afraid of staring or aggressive people. But none of that happened. People greeted me, the store workers were kind and nobody looked at me like I was weird. I felt comfortable, and Emily even said she saw someone check me put, though i doubt that.
This was unbelievable to me and honestly I felt like myself. I feels nice that I can go out without worrying about Judging eyes.
To all the supporters of my previous post thank you, you have made me happy. Ill keep this account going to let you join me in my journey and once I'm confident enough I'll post up some pics of me and Emily too :) end ID]

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going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room
Blue Lois
can i help you
Red Marge
jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack
World Heritage Post
i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me
no one is allowed to move on from project hail mary actually. the thrum ends when i say so.
By wearing this watch you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor
The Fence has published an exposé on Stuart Semple (of Anish Kapoor 'feud' notoriety) which they have been working on for six months.
investigation reveals Semple / his studio / his partner Emily Mann (who's described as acting as his 'enforcer' in his business) :
mishandled £400k grant of public money intended for a public gallery, allowing the money to flow freely between the public project, his own personal studio and personal projects such as Culture Hustle (his online business selling paint etc)
underpaid or failed to pay many of his assistants to the tune of several thousand pounds each.
former assistants have taken him to court and he simply hasn't bothered to show up and he's threatened to sue former assistants who asked for their back pay
repeatedly funds ambitious projects that never see release eg Abode, an 'Adobe-rivalling' suite of creative software (he claims he still intends to release this)
encouraged a cult-like atmosphere at his studio in Bournemouth
was frequently in debt and having to negotiate with bailiffs etc for his debts while at the same time crowdfunding various projects
ran fake social media accounts boosting Semple and his work
The portrait that emerges is one of decades-long scam artistry tbh and someone who's juvenile, manipulative, narcissistic.
The Fence btw is a decent fairly small-circulation quarterly magazine from the UK which specialises in satire, investigative journalism, culture, and fiction. You can read the piece in its entirety if you register (which is free).
a few links:
The Fence's newsletter from April discusses this article & how Semple has tried to muddy the SEO waters
Semple threatened to sue The Fence for publishing this story - many of you are American so here's the relevant UK law on defamation.
& the subreddit r/culturehustle is worth a look to get an idea of just how badly run his paint business is
Holy fuck.
I had a feeling something was up with him, but like, I assumed it was going to be something slightly sketchy, not...this.
I got some of his paints when he first announced the mirrored paint.
The first thig that put up a solid red flag was the shipping material. It's cool that he has custom boxes for his studio, it looked really neat. Then I opened it and sae things like "Not for bean boy" printed all over the inside of the box.
Between Mirror, hyper pigments, and black 2.0, none of them were as extremely out there as the videos on his site made them seem. The colors are vibrant, the black is dark, and the mirror is shiny. But the level the videos showed them at are not levels I can recreate.
So like, he exaggerated as an advertising scheme. Alright, shame on him.
But reading that... Yeah. I don't expect him to sell anymore stuff.
If I remember correctly his whole beef with Anish Kapoor was over a misunderstanding about Kapoor was making sure no one could use vantablack as opposed to the reality that Kapoor was the only person who was licensed to handle vantablack due to its dangerous radioactive properties. Pretty dumb. Also, I kinda like cloud gate, it's neat looking in person.
The lab which actually owns Vantablack (which is not a pigment but a substance that has to be applied in a lab) chose one artist to work with to demonstrate its properties. The exclusion wasn't Kapoor's choice. He was just the artist they chose.
imagine being markiplier and you make a movie you spend three years on it and you cause a fake blood shortage and when the movie comes out people love it and rave about it but like with any other movie or media it fades from being the main talk of the town and it moves to something else. two months later a different movie comes out and is in theaters for a while and it’s trending. ah, here’s the new movie that everyone’s talking about. oh cool it’s ryan gosling’s film. looks good. one month into this new movie’s theater run iron lung begins trending again. huh. interesting wonder what’s up. maybe people are desperate for the dvd release? no. they’re drawing you making out scary with ryan gosling. your movie starts trending again and has gotten a new round of fans that never would’ve watched it otherwise. all because you and ryan gosling are both hot and both starred in movies released in close proximity that have parallel themes. and people decided to make yaoi of you. and your dick is definitely being drawn on patreon for $5 a month by someone who has never seen your dick
meanwhile. imagine being ryan gosling and finding out who markiplier is because you encountered art of yourself making out with him. and your dick is also being drawn on patreon
i got a fucking. advertisement on youtube. from google ai. saying. without sarcasm and with complete sincerity. "if shakespeare is too hard for you, you can always have our ai explain it to you." im gonna throw up. im gonna throw a molotov cocktail. if i see that ad again im reporting it for hate speech. how fucking dare you. i will kill you with my bare hands. with my exit pursued by a bear hands. i will tear google headquarters down brick by brick. im going to start biting people.

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I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier
I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.
He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense
Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.
My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.
Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.
He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM
1,372 votes and 251 comments so far on Reddit
Go cheer yourselves up, ladies. The comments are absolutely inspired.
Jesus Christ
i agree so much about making your blorbos pathetic but i do fear that many take this to mean 'make them more traditionally feminine/submissive' which genuinely hurts my soul. make your blorbos pathetic in interesting character-oriented ways. understand their neuroses and turn the dials up to eleven. juxtapose the parts of life they handle extremely well with the parts of their lives that make them eat shit. make them angry. make them cold. make them pave their own way to hell while building walls preventing them from seeing any other way. please i'm begging you no more pathetic as an euphemism for bottoming im gonna mclose it.
Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

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Just watched Adam Conover (of Adam Ruins Everything) make such a solid point that I think we should spread far and wide. Yes, having AI write your emails is lazy, sure, but people love being lazy. We need to really emphasize that sending AI emails (or using AI responses on social media, or publishing AI flyers, or or or) is rude.
It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.
It's rude.
The above is doubly true if the content of the email is something that will be important to the person receiving - especially something that affects them negatively. They see that this thing that affected them so much didn't matter enough to you to write it yourself. I was a bystander to such a thing not long ago and it was just awful.
RUDE!!! that is so very much it.
Younger people, one thing I want you to understand about Millenials is that, overall, our parents taught their daughters to aim for careers and employment, but they didn't teach their sons to keep house. This causes a whole lot of Situations.
My brothers are my half-brothers; they spent summers and some holidays with us. I love my brothers.
Their mother picked up after them. They were not required to take plates the kitchen or do the dishes or anything like that.
My mother, who would tell you she is for equality, came home one day, sighed at the mess of dirty dishes scattered about, and said, "Gayle, help me pick up."
"Those aren't my dishes," I said. "I picked up my dishes."
My mother sighed again. "Just help me pick up."
"No," I said again. "I didn't make that fucking mess."
She never approached my brothers and said, "Boys, in this house, you take your dishes to the kitchen." She did not tell our dad, "Hey, tell the boys they need to pick up after themselves."
It was, "Gayle, pick up the dishes."
And when I refused because it was not my fucking mess, I got lectured about being difficult.
See also: My brothers--in a classic dick-move of all siblings--figured out they could pop the lock on the bathroom door and throw it open, and I would freak out because I was in the shower and trying to get five fucking minutes of peace.
Guess who got yelled at for being "unreasonable"? Not the boys. Because a lot of moms of millennial boys still said shit like "boys will be boys" when they should have said "Boys, if you got body-slammed on the concrete, I'm not taking you to the hospital."
It was similar for Xers. I spent a lot of time in my 20's teaching romantic partners and friends basic household skills and having to be really hard ass about them carrying their weight.
It is stupid and infuriating and I hate that the "Boy Mom" trend is setting yet another generation up for unfairness and domestic strife.
Yep.