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Instead of an air fryer consider: sex reassignment surgery

How am I gonna cook these chicken nuggets

Why don't you ask my new vagina...

to whom am I squeaking

you're telling me this guy's a bouncer? huh... and what does he bounce on, if you don't mind me asking...?

(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.

i think the concept of a software install wizard is so cute… developers know the average person isnt comfortable running terminal commands so theyre like here!!! this wizard will do it for you <3 and we’re all like yay :) the wizard

He doesn’t even have the cup or the scepter

why r some american tumblr users like the us education system didnt teach me that i have five toes on each foot so i didn’t learn it until my twenties 😞

🤤

what?

Just thinking about all those toes you mentioned

love pickles. a little pickle never killed nobody. Unless you’re in one. Then shit ain’t funny.

Scrolled came back read it again and cried laughing

Thank you for giving me another chance

we’ve pivoted to making spiders instead

citing wikipedia is harsh but citing khan academy is going for the fucking jugular

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, show me penis, cock and ball

call me Brussels Sprouts the way I got the bitterness bred out of me

the joke is Brussels Sprouts used to be much more bitter until farmers in the 90's discovered what chemical property in Brussels Sprouts was making them so bitter, and selectively bred them over generations to be tastier, which is why you should try eating Brussels Sprouts again if you haven't had them since you were a kid, especially if you've never had them roasted in olive oil, salt, red pepper flakes, maybe a little honey or balsamic vinegar, distributed evenly on a pan at a very high temperature, and also breeding kink

Hey op what was that last part

Did i fucking stutter

My local farmer's market has started carrying this one kind of brussels sprouts in the summers that are so goddamn sweet you can eat them RAW.