“I almost lost you because I lost myself”
JC- why relationships fail
art blog(derogatory)
Not today Justin

oozey mess

#extradirty

★

PR's Tumblrdome
Stranger Things

JBB: An Artblog!

Andulka
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Misplaced Lens Cap
Acquired Stardust
DEAR READER
One Nice Bug Per Day
dirt enthusiast
YOU ARE THE REASON
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
i don't do bad sauce passes

izzy's playlists!
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

seen from Netherlands

seen from France

seen from Sweden

seen from Bulgaria
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from Mexico

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from United States
@depressedppoems
“I almost lost you because I lost myself”
JC- why relationships fail

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hi guys, This is me. My name is Jemma and I’m 18. So I don’t usually do these kind of things, but I guess I just need to get some stuff off my chest. I’m not asking for money, I don’t want to trouble people by asking for their money, plus UK healthcare is free. A few years ago, I remember being in high school and “zoning out” because I was tired. I was 14 at the time and I remember my friend saying to me, “Jemma what the fuck is happening to your eye it’s weird?” And I had no idea what was going on because you can’t feel your eyes doing weird stuff. Turns out that my right eye would turn outwards whenever I’d “zone out” which I discovered after taking a picture of myself due to wanting to know what people were talking about. It was weird at first but I assumed it was one of those “party tricks” like my double-jointed fingers so I didn’t think much of it. A couple of years later I go to my opticians for a routine check-up and i get told that my eyes can’t function normally, that when objects came close to my face my eyes would shake and eventually turn outwards, which had recently caused me to have some minor double vision, which I put down to tiredness since I don’t sleep very much. They gave me some pretty weak glasses, with a 0.5 prism in each eye. A seemingly minor prescription. I was told to return in 6 months for another check-up and when I returned my eyesight had deteriorated, now needing 3.5 prisms in one eye and 4 in another. Again, nothing major. They referred me to my eye clinic in the hospital because after a certain prescription, they have to be made aware. Anyway, I get an appointment within a few weeks, not too bad for the NHS. I arrive and they give me a sticker for my glasses with 10 prisms in, a bit of a jump from 3.5-4. I get another appointment around November where they realise my glasses are no longer strong enough, so they decide to try a different type of lense. After that I’m told I’ll get an appointment within 4-6 weeks, but I never did. I rang and rang because my glasses no longer worked and I got nowhere. Early January, I noticed that my glasses were crooked so I go to my opticians to fix them and they accidentally snap them. With a prescription that wasn’t working, they decided to leave me without glasses and to ring the hospital for me, and I get an appointment for the end of January. I’m essentially blind for this time, the double vision is so bad that I can’t see things without my glasses on, and I have exams during this time. I end up failing my exams because I couldn’t see the paper, and magnifying glasses don’t work because it’s not the size that’s an issue. I eventually get new glasses, but the prescription I need is so strong I can’t get it in a permanent lens, so I have to wait another few weeks for another sticker, which is then 35 prisms and hurts my head to wear them. In a year I’ve gone from 0.5 prisms to 35, a rapid deterioration. I get an appointment with an eye consultant, who can tell me what my eye condition is and why it has got so bad recently (the turn is now in both eyes and I get a lot of comments about it in college and at work). I had my appointment yesterday and the doctor said that all the tests they did for my vision was abnormal yet the appearance of my eyes seemed normal so they were confused, along with the fact that I’m so young in comparison to the other people they see. They perform test after test and consult with other doctors and each one was confused as to what is going on and has effectively dismissed me, telling me to just keep with my glasses, despite there only being 3 more lenses stronger than the one I currently have. They said that I’m visually impaired but they can’t figure out what type of visual impairment I have. As an 18 year old, autistic person, it’s a lot of information to take in at once and my mind shut down completely after that due to stress. The long-winded story is that my eyesight is rapidly declining and doctors have no idea what is going on and there’s a possibility I will end up blind in one or both eyes very soon. Again, I’m not asking for money, this is more for me. I need to get it all off my chest, today has been super hard trying to balance college and the fact that I’m losing my eyesight one day at a time and I spent the day in my tutor’s office crying because nobody knows what is happening to me. Anyway, rant over. Self pity text post over. This was just to help clear my head a bit
So I guess this is also one of those caution text posts. If you see anything suspicious or your eyes start playing up, even if you think it’s minor, it could save your eyesight. You don’t realise how precious your eyesight is until you’re at risk of losing it
So I don’t usually reblog myself from my main account but this is kinda fitting to this blog too.
I’m pretty close to losing my sight but I’ve never been more able to see things for what they are: shit.
JC - things people won’t know
embrace
To the girl that falls in love with him...
You’ve found yourself with the most stubborn person on this planet. I should know because I’m the second most stubborn and we spent 5 years in an stalemate argument as to why McDonald’s used to stop selling breakfast in the afternoon. But as stubborn as he is, he is generous. His eyes are kind and do not lose the way he looks at you after first waking up, asking you to scratch his arm. He constantly needs to be touched and sometimes you’ll want to kick him off the bed. But he’ll never roll his eyes when all you need is a good back massage at 2 A.M. He loves superhero movies. I used to secretly think he wished he was Captain America. He drinks more coffee than should be humanly possible. Be prepared to plan your days around the best cafes in town. Lobster and steak are his favorite meals but he will never order it because of the price. Treat him when he needs it.
His mom’s enchiladas are his favorite but he knows he makes better guacamole than her. Do not remind him of this, especially around his mom. His mom drives him insane, but he knows at the end of the day, she is the most important person in his life. He plays card tricks with his Tata and loves his Nana more than any human being has loved another human being before. Watch him eat dinner with these two and you’ll always fall back in love with him. He’s the funniest of the three brothers but do not tell him this because you’ll never hear the end of it. He says he hates them, but he loves them and everyone knows it. He really adores dogs. Buy him a Siberian Husky one day.
Baseball is his entire life. His good days come from him pitching well; his bad days come when he pitches horribly. You’re in charge of fixing him when he falls but you’re also in charge of being his number one fan. I held this spot for more than half a decade but if you promise to be at every game you can, I will relinquish this spot to you. When he is angry and he takes it out on you after a tough loss, do not take it personally. He just needs space to cool off. But after a while, scoot up next to him and scratch the back of his head and he’ll remember that everything is okay. He dreams only of making it to the big leagues and everyone around him tells him how wildly unrealistic this is. It is your job to remind him how his dreams are actually very much in reach. No one can stop him. But if those dreams do not come to fruition, please be there for him. I always worried about this day coming and knew it would be a turbulent fall. He will probably drink too much and try to push everyone away. Be relentless. Hold him every night. Tell him he is more than the sum of his athletic achievements. When he continues to ignore you, remember that for more than 20 years, he has equated his self worth to his ability to throw a baseball.
Do not make the same mistakes I did. Never make him choose between you and the game. Baseball will win, you will lose. It will hurt and you’ll begin to resent him. Do not do this to him. Remember that you will become the most important thing to him, he just won’t show it the way you want. He will not write you poetry. He will not make sappy posts on Instagram. He will not be the boy from the movies that shows up your door with flowers because he randomly thought of you. He will make fun of you more than he will compliment you. But he will never go to bed without telling you he loves you. He will love you deeply and quietly.
We hurt each other more than was healthy. We created a frayed string of broken promises, distrust, anger, and jealously over 5 years. We held on too tight, too young. We forgot that we were individuals first, a couple second. Our time was up and we couldn’t hold on to the broken pieces.
Do for him what I cannot do anymore. He will repay you in ways that will fill your heart to the brim. He is special. Accept this love and do not let it go.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
People ask me why I never talk about how I feel. Today I tried and nobody replied.
Why bother? JC
I'm wasting my life trying to figure out how to live and it's killing me.
Me when my therapist asked why I was so sad
I know you'll hurt me but I love the pain.
Line from a new song JC-22/11/16
I feel like I'm getting worse everyday and nobody seems to notice or care
Things I'll never say JC
My whole life is a cycle of being too depressed to sleep, then being depressed because I'm tired
Things people don't understand JC

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I don't understand why I feel so bad. I just had a great time with friends, and now I'm more than ready to kill myself.
Things I wish I could say JC
It's funny how you can feel a million different emotions whilst also feeling completely numb.
Things that people don't understand
I'm tired of not being able to sleep because as soon as I close my eyes, the flashbacks start.
Things I'll never say JC
I've been sad for so long that it had become sort of a comfort zone for me; I don't like to step outside of my comfort zone.
Things I'll never say JC
I understand it now: for me, you would find the time, whereas for you, I would make it.
Things I'll never say JC

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I can't bear the thought of being lonely again.
JC- please don't leave
I hear it screaming my name; calling. Always calling. Telling me I love the pain it brings me. How I love to sit and watch the blood pour down my arms.
JC- the blade