depressed for a lifetime

sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen

𝕕𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕨𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕝𝕦𝕥.

Hydrates bitches, and bros, and non-binary hoes 💧💧🌊🌊💦💧

Egal wie lange ich schlafe, die müdigkeit geht nicht weg. Ich bin müde vom Leben, müde vom kämpfen und müde vom durchhalten.

one of the worst things abt chronic fatigue and chronic pain is the boredom. rendered incapable of doing anything and the pain and fatigue is so taxing that your brain can't handle doing engaging things. your brain gets tired. too tired to think sometimes. but you're still aware. so then comes the boredom. just yearning for any kind of activity but being denied it because you just don't have the space for it. the worst thing abt pain and fatigue is that it's banal.

The truth is yeah I will “recover”, I will gain weight and not be at risk of dying anymore. But I will never look at food the same way. Bc the truth is I don’t know who I’m without my ed. i don’t know how to eat food without counting the calories, I don’t know how to live without counting calories. And the sad thing is I don’t need to anymore I have them all memorised and I can’t look at a peace of food without adding the calories in my head. I will never truly recover

literally