(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

so i guess tumblr is green now

really oxidized coin fell out of my wallet and I said out loud to the cashier “oh no, my yucky penny”

it was a 10 cent coin

so so important to bitch and moan i can not stress this enough

I once ate meat from a pig that was only fed wine corks during its life. I became nauseated and tired and fell asleep in my leather armchair. I dreamt of cool breezes over vineyards on the Mediterranean Sea, until I woke up in a cold sweat and a longing for Italy. It’s not right to feed a pig too much of something, it gives them a connection which is best left alone.

sex is some naked bullshit and food is some crap they found on the ground but online poker is forever

Most people don't like ants because... You guessed it. Misogyny

Yo mama so imprisoned she has been sealed for ever