- Assigned cute girl at birth and fucked it up somewhere along the way
- Cascoded Crowley”girl”
- Possibly occasionally nsfw, I am not a minor
- sideblog for Crowley: @crowleykiss
- sideblog for L: @cupidlawliet
- I saw MCR Nashville 2022 and I will never let it go
- I write, mostly for myself and my maladaptive daydreaming universe, but also because I enjoy it!
- Ship and let ship, anyone can interact
- I ship whatever is funniest in the moment
- send me asks about anything!! I love asks!!
- same for tagging! From anyone, any reason!!
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- THINGS I POST ABOUT, IN ORDER OF (likely) FREQUENCY:
- Supernatural, Death Note, general funnyposting, World of Warcraft, Mystic Messenger, Fallout: New Vegas, Portal, general nature stuff, horror stuff
- Other various interests I would love to talk about:
- spooky/horror content, Kafka, emo nostalgia, Left 4 Dead 2, selfshipping, maladaptive daydreaming, fic writing, (hurt/comfort especially but all genres are great), sewing, alternative music, YouTube essays, old YouTube gamers, (like 2015 mark or old AVGN), The Walking Dead Telltale games, Undertale, Ghibli movies, Stardew Valley, (the secret good hp that lives in our childhoods), Percy Jackson, chicken keeping (irl), diy projects, rare/unique instruments, 2000’s Nintendo and PC gaming, (DS and Wii specifically)…….
♠️ヽ(=^･ω･^=)丿♥️ (^_−)☆ ♣️ (∪。∪)。。。zzz♦️
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Also gifs for each character I’m unhealthily obsessed with under the cut, please talk to me about them:
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i DO believe that a good writer can make mischaracterization work. oh there's a character who doesn't normally cry? figure it out!! disect the character. make the situation cryable for them. make that character cry ugly tears even if it goes against their very nature. YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK!!!
The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?
developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.
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love naomi so much. i understand why she gets girlbossified so often but personally i think she is most compelling as a pathetic girlfailure. destroyed by her upcoming marriage. dies because she is so starved for attention and approval that she trusts a teenager who talks her up. i find this enthralling.
naomi misora world's most susceptible woman i love her so. i'm a little more awake now so this is my naomi take: this is a woman who willingly gives up her extremely prestigious job at the behest of her husband, who capitulates to a teenage boy because he praises her intelligence, who lets herself get dragged along by a strange man in a murder investigation she'd been entrusted with. who doesn't even notice she's not making decisions in said murder investigation until it's nearly over.
when the kira investigation takes place she is absolutely ruined by grief and this absolutely plays into how profoundly easy she is to manipulate. it's a rich text! it's layered! she is finally acting on her own because her husband is dead; she might have saved him if she pushed a little harder beforehand. does she know this? does it haunt her?
she's very cool -- she's got that motorcycle and all that leather -- but i find her way more compelling as a flawed and sort of pathos-inducing individual.
i was talking about this on my server earlier but i really think "cozy" is one of the worst genre labels out there in the gaming space. like people dunk on the terms "metroidvania" and "first person shooter" a lot for being uncreative or limiting but at least those are like... falsifiable descriptors. you can look at a game and go "yeah this game's mechanics and core gameplay loop generally operate like metroid/castlevania" or "yeah this game primarily uses a first person camera paired with some sort of projectile weapon" so i don't think they're completely useless. but "cozy" is just nonsense. fully subjective. i see a lot of games popularly labeled as "cozy" that share almost zero mechanical features between them and don't even always match in tone or aesthetic. hearing a game described as "cozy" doesn't tell you anything about what to expect as a player beyond maybe giving you a sort of forewarning about the fanbase and their discomfort tolerance. "cozy" is not a quantifiable metric. like imagine if someone offered to buy you takeout and asked you what kind of food you'd like and you told them fully unironically, and with no further elaboration, "i want to get yummy food." that's what hearing "cozy games" sounds like to me
i especially chafe at the way "cozy games" just seems like a "woke" way to say "girl games" and conflate certain game mechanics or aesthetics with a non-cis/het/male identity (to equally useless effect from a buyer's pov). gender stereotyping by any other name is still gender stereotyping. i'm not cis het or male, but i've spent decades enjoying pvp shooters and feel bored to tears by cutesy cottagecore farming sims. and i find those pvp shooters very "cozy" to play, too! @_@;
i think cas is getting lebanon kansas IP banned from wikipedia editing because he keeps going in and correcting articles about ancient historical events and figures and just citing “i was there” or “common knowledge” as his source. this MAJORLY pisses sam off because it means he can’t edit pages on obscure occult topics with his meticulously sourced notes without a vpn. they’re starting a minor cold war in the bunker over this, meanwhile dean literally could not care less
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Pigs must've flown by my window earlier today because Cheritz finally put out new content for Mystic Messenger. The twins definitely are the most popular characters, and most of the remaining fans are theirs. It's a shame that Yoosung and Zen didn't get this treatment, and it remains to be seen if they'll continue this trend, or if it'll only happen for the 10th anniversary next month.
I never thought we'd live to see the day after they gave up on new title artwork for the game (though, as I've said before, I'd rather get nothing if they continued to disrespect us, them, and the characters by using GenAi). When you love something, it's very important to be aware of its flaws and to be honest when stuff like that happens. I love this game, but the company's poor choices have had an impact on its decline over the past six years.
Nobody wants to touch something that wasn't cradled by human hands and treated with compassion. Even the most beloved thing will be left in the dust the moment someone runs it through a data center that is not only destroying the environment, harming communities that are by far and away typically filled with people of color, and... God, I don't need to give you the spiel.
But the thing that I love most, Mystic Messenger, was tainted by this nonsense, and I can't talk about it now without affirming how important it is to stand your ground and not let GenAI become normalized. Even if the company never touches GenAi again, the damage has been done at the end of the day, and it cannot be undone.
I had to say that, so I will apologize for dragging that out before getting to the point!
Today, however, the company gets a nod from me because this wasn't disrespectful. It was a love letter to us fans who are still here, the ones who might be new here, or who have decided to come back. There are real, genuine tears in my eyes because THIS is what I've been missing since the release of the RAE in 2020. There's something about being in a chatroom that you don't get with artwork.
You're there.
You're not just the viewer.
You're involved in a way that doesn't ask you to IMAGINE yourself as the MC in the artwork, or to pretend that those outstretched hands are reaching for you. The immersion is what I've been craving for years now and... I was not dissatisfied today. Most of all, I can say that I never ever could've imagined that SE Saeran would be given his dues. But today, it turns out that it was finally his time to be paid. Not as Unknown, but as himself.
He is the one I've loved from the start. Yes, you all know as the RAY fan, but Ray and Unknown are my favorites. By extension, VAE Ray and SE Saeran mean a lot to me as well. They're wonderful vessels for me to let my feelings flow when I need an outlet, and in general, just... make me a happier person. I see them as characters who struggle to find hope and hardly receive it. VAE Ray found his peace, but SE Saeran never did. It's haunted me to this day.
I wanted better for SE Saeran. Today, as I've said, I think he's been given that. The title chatrooms aren't set in any specific timeline, but knowing what I know about him, I can tell you this. His personality fits these new chatrooms way more than GE Saeran. In these new chats, Saeyoung is the focal point, too. In past birthday chatrooms for the twins, when we interacted with Unknown, it was like that, too.
They typically make sure to let the romance be open to interpretation, but in the end, Saeyoung tends to be the one closest to the player and is dear to him. Platonic or otherwise, centralizing things around him is sure to make most people assume this is the Secret Ending, or at the very least, it's trying to be. I say it's "trying" because—V's here.
I will say that Jihyun is alive in these chats as well, and upon seeing him as soon as I realized the Saeran in question was SE—I screamed, much to the chagrin of those closest to me, "A llama? But he's supposed to be dead!" when he showed up. I love him, I'm happy he's here, but it's odd to see Jihyun interact with Unknown or SE Saeran. Cheritz doesn't put Jihyun in most things, so that was an active choice on their part. I hope all the V fans out there smile when they see him.
I did! He talks about how much fun it is to write letters to the people he loves dearly. It helps him get the words out without making a mess of himself in the process. That's healthy for him, actually. He went from being a pretentious asshole as a teenager to a repressed adult with a savior complex. He went from saying everything to saying nothing, for the lack of a better explanation.
His having the avenue to safely say what matters makes me happy. I like it when V gets good stuff! Even if I had to suspend my disbelief to believe he would be there, LOL. I'll share a few images of that in just a second.
The event begins with the RFA planning the twins' birthday. Saeran is caught in the chatroom while they're hard at work planning the event. The surprise is spoiled for him, but he doesn't seem to mind. He thinks it'll be funny to see Saeyoung jump out of his skin. Yeah, that's totally an Unknown thing.
The following chatrooms explore the birthday gifts that the RFA has put together for the guys! They all explain their reasoning and why it matters. Some are sillier than others, but I have to admit that's what makes it so much fun. The RFA cares about each other, and you can feel their love radiating from here all the way to Saeyoung's spaceship.
I can't share every screenshot since Tumblr has an image limit, but I'll do my best to share the highlights. V wrote them letters, as I said. Zen wrote them an eight-minute ballad that he performed for everyone at the party. Yoosung ordered a cake with so many words that it stretched off the edge, and then he piled up enough balloons in the event space that it crashed down on Saeyoung in an avalanche.
Jumin had two life-size plushies made of Elizabeth the 3rd for them, though one is white and the other is grey. It looked similar enough that everyone said it was the same, but I trust him. I know he looked at two swatches and picked accordingly. Jaehee purchased two elegant pens and had them engraved! Practical, but they'll always think of her when they work!
I laughed! I cried! I thrived! Zen and Jumin bickering like old times... Yoosung being a sweetheart but having such a clumsy execution when he's excited. Jaehee thinking of others in small, yet thoughtful ways. V dropping by to confess that he would rather write letters by candelight to communicate. Saeyoung and Saeran... laughing. What more could I want?
And after the brainstorming, we're treated to an after-party chatroom!
See? Who wouldn't want to gush about this! I've got tears in my eyes. Most twins hate getting similar things for their birthdays, but because they've never experienced this... It's not so bad. They love it. It's what the two of them have always wanted, and what they deserve. A chance to be normal. They don't want chaos! They want to live like anyone else does.
The RFA is a family to one another, and they're family to me, too. After all these years, I'm grateful. I'm happy I'm still here. I got to see them in a chatroom after thinking it would never happen again. I never thought Saeran would be able to talk to me ever again. Hearing from him, even in this way, made my day. I'm not the same person I was ten years ago, and neither is he. We're all the happier for it. We're not trapped in a loop. We're free.
My little songbird is free from his cage.
SE Saeran is at peace, and I will no longer feel haunted by the thought that he isn't okay on the other side of the universe. He's okay. I really... really needed that. Where we leave him for good in the Secret Ending is so hopeless and abrupt. He's alive, but he's not living. Saeyoung's happy and at peace, but Saeran is haunted by demons that won't go away. He isn't okay.
But, here? Even if it's canon divergence, and even if it's an AU, this is him at his most peaceful. This is him after finding a reason to live and thrive, not just survive. I want that for me, too. I'll get there, though. I will find that same peace, as I'm already on the road to believing it, and part of the healing process is embracing that mentality. You have to let yourself believe it gets better, even if it seems impossible.
I've believed in that for SE Saeran since 2016, too.
It's 2026, and my wish has come to fruition.
"I don't usually say stuff like this, but I mean it. Thank you, really." That isn't GE Saeran. GE Saeran speaks mush as a given, he had the time to learn how to love himself before it felt hopeless. Before Unknown was created and burned with apathy because Rika broke him of everything else. That's how I know, at the very end, it's him. I'm happy for you, my love. In all timelines, and in all lifetimes. I pray, in your 31st year, that it's even more peaceful for you than it was yesterday.
Don't worry, Saeyoung, I love you, too. You're just my best friend and brother-in-law, so I don't get to gush about you as much. I want you to enjoy this peace, too. You deserve it. You both do.
s6 dean finding out cas touched bobby's soul for time travel battery purposes and getting brattily jealous and getting called out for it by sam in front of cas and going no im not!!! and cas going don't worry i would never touch your soul dean and dean going wait why 🥺i mean. not like i care. and cas going it is a delicate operation. i would never risk you in that way. you are too important. and dean going pssht. u think i couldn't take it? i could take it. i could take your full fist no problem. and sam going oh my god. dean. and dean going what??? i'm just defending my soul's honour. just 'cause yours is a delicate little flower doesn't mean mine is. and cas going i would probably not touch sam's soul either. and sam going aww he does care about me <3. and cas going it would not be very efficient as a power source. with its present deficits. no offense sam. and sam going offense taken???? but cas has already moved on to whatever his next holy mission statement is
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