ok iām just going to let it all out here. btw iām sorry for all the inbox messages iāve been ignoring and being inactive!! (been a tough couple of weeks) i donāt really know how to express this feeling i have but iām sad. i donāt know what uni is doing to me but this is not like me at all. just bluntly crying out of the blue in mid day or any time really, itās just i feel bad for myself? for putting myself in this position but i canāt help my feelings. just feeling utter shit and sad when studying. iāve been to uni before (diploma) and it was great. but now, iām doing a degree in the uk and itās all so different. it was amazing at first (first term) all laughs and giggles. and now. NOW. now (different term) i feel sad. i feel like iām never going out from thisā¦ and itās truly an awful feeling. and i just feel not content (its honestly the VERY FIRST TIME that i feel like this????!!! itās so weirdĀ guys i donāt know how to explain but never in a million years would i think i would end up feeling the way i feel now) i feel lonely even when iām surrounded by all these amazing people. yes, i have amazing friends here, but itās not the same. study is basically 24/7 now (im exagerating but yknow what i mean) and the thing is, iām not one to usually feel like this i promise you, cause usually iām so positive, i take any bullshit and i make it work, i take hardships well, i take hard times well, cause i never let any negative thoughts get to me. but this term, it truly feels like shit. i miss my friends (in my home country). i miss my family. i miss the feeling of laughing stupidly w my old friends. i just want to be like before. i want to be like the old, happy me. but iām taking baby steps to becoming that self again.. iām joining new things just to get my head off things.. and such. maybe itās just the uni degree transition stress thats kicking in. i donāt know who resonates with this but i just hope you know, your feelings are valid and youāre not alone in any of this. i love you and im virtually hugging all of you.Ā
and please donāt take this the wrong way. iām posting this because i just had to let it out there. or else itāll just eat me up alive.Ā
