montana

going to a dietitian to recover 😺

hi i left for edtwt bc it's actually kinda cool over there coz it's way faster-paced :)) i'm back now obvs but that's where i was 💜💜

instead of binging last night i just went to bed!!! very proud of myself 💜💜💜💜💜

i've worked out for 2 hours today and i'm still over my cal limit by FIVE HUNDRED... i feel weak, but this is what i deserve for eating so much. how to fuck am i going to fix this???

started my period today. consider these days cheat days usually, so i don't get too frustrated. unfortunately, i haven't lost any weight so i know i'm going to regret all this food afterwards. maybe I can fast tomorrow or the day after or something?

joined proana twt for a few hours and felt so disgusting afterwards that i emotionally binged. this is bullshit. interesting also how 80% of them are into gore and other fucked up shit. at least you guys on tumblr are sweet to each other, they were so cruel to anyone overweight and would say shit like "if you don't have a bmi below 20 you're fat and you should starve yourself" GENUINELY UMMMM?? I hope the ones who survive this chapter in their life can grow and overcome the deep-rooted insecurity and the gnarled creature of hatred that they hold inside them :((

burned over 300 on just a 50 minute bike ride!!! but then almost immediately wasted 250 calories on junk food :/ still only 200 net calories ig

Last night I wasn't able to work out because I got home so late :(( ended up at 113 over my limit. good news is that I still lost a pound overnight, and I'm skipping in-person band camp so I don't have to "fuel my body". I just had a kind of big breakfast, 260~ I think, and the feeling of being full is nauseating... Might go work out after posting this so I feel less gross :)