i typed up a bunch of funny posts about it but it's really not funny at all how i keep uncovering more layers of how bad things are in my area. i tried to send an email to a lesbian group and then it didn't go through because they've received so much abuse and so many DDoS attacks that their website is basically unusable.
oh, but i deserve it, right? evil terf? i want you to just imagine for a second. that homosexuals- individuals who are born innately incapable of opposite sex attraction -exist. just imagine for a moment that we have been telling the truth. and now consider what this demographic has been subjected to, continues to be subjected to. conservatives want you dead because you will not procreate and god says you should burn in hellfire. the left wants you dead because your existence and innate, involuntary and unchangeable sexual orientation is rhetorically inconvenient for the notion that "trans women are women". imagine that you tried your hardest to change, to believe it, that you put yourself through unwanted sex act after unwanted sex act, always with abusers, as the only male willing to penetrate a visibly unwilling, distressed partner is by definition a sexual predator.
but it turned out you couldn't fuck the gay away, you couldn't drink the gay away, you couldn't drug the gay away, you couldn't transition the gay away. and now you bear trauma indistinguishable from high control conversion therapy survivors. and now what. now fucking what? you can't go to a support group for people like you. because the support groups aren't for you. in fact, the support groups peddle the same homophobia that led you to where you are now. nobody on earth aside from a few feminists believes that you. could. not. change. your. sexual. orientation. you can't go out into the community, find your people, because it's literally against the law for same sex attracted women to gather together without males. you can't come out and try to heal by being proud and open about your sexuality after a decade of trying to force it to change, because that could lose you your job, that will get you death threats, rape threats, bigotry accusations.
so what the fuck will you have me do? what's next? where do i go? what do i do? let's just hold hands for a second and assume lesbians as they originally named themselves do exist, and that this is not a preference, but a biological and unchangeable fact. what are we supposed to do now?