DeeMcGree

Sometimes I feel like I want to be by myself and I’m not really sure how to feel about that. Like, really by myself. There are times where I feel like I want to live by myself, go about my days by myself and be able to do everything I want to do by myself. I feel like I would enjoy living in a town where no one else knows me and just be able to live without thinking about the expectations of…

Today, the day you wrote this, was your 30th birthday and I want you to remember how you felt on this day. You were surrounded with love over these past few weeks. Starting with early birthday celebrations at home with family and friends, you really appreciated the time and effort put in to people wanting to celebrate you. The gifts were lovely, but it was really about your friends and family…

// new year, same me.

Exactly that. All in all, I feel like I had a pretty great year in 2022. It finally felt like the world really opened up again so I was able to go on more trips with friends, more concerts, festivals, nights out. But more than all of that, I feel like it was a year of really working on myself. After stalling for so long, I finally began therapy. I always knew it was something that I would really…

// how times have changed.

I’m on the plane and I’ve not downloaded any shows, so I find myself reading over old saved notes on my phone. A lot of shopping lists, old passwords, some book recommendations, then I come across an old draft of a blog post. It was honestly quite sad to read; to remember how down I was feeling at the time. My anxiety was going through the roof; I was second guessing everything more than normal,…

// that feeling you’re having; it passes.

“That feeling you’re having; I know what that is, and it passes.”I was watching Looking: The Movie tonight – a movie that I have already watched before, that closed off one of my favourite series and this quote just hit me. This feeling that I am feeling, whatever the hell it is, it will pass.I don’t exactly know what it is I am feeling or why I am even feeling this way, but I know it won’t last…

Today marks my 27th birthday.

When I first thought about it my initial thought was “what a way to spend my birthday – stuck in the apartment”. I had myself so fixated on the fact that I was quarantined and “couldn’t do anything” to celebrate.

I got so caught up in self-pity, thinking about how I am supposed to be in South Africa right now and how I have spent my previous birthdays doing something…

// I’m making 2020 my bitch.

There’s something about 2020 that makes me really feel like this might be my year. The year when I really become the best version of myself. Or maybe not so much the best version, but a better version.

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Although my mental health isn’t exactly at the best it’s ever been – I feel like I am much more capable of dealing with it now than I ever have been. I am able to ride the wave and see the shore…

I’m happy with who I am as a person and that’s such a nice feeling.

I know I’m no saint, and I’m not pretending to be either. I pride myself on my self awareness and ability to identify my flaws.

But I also pride myself in my ability to identify my strengths and feel proud of them. I’m most definitely not the most confident person in the world, but I’m strong. Both physically and emotionally.

I’m…

// i think I’m finding my way.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything new on here. I suppose that’s because I’ve been a little caught up in life, being busy and all that.

My masters degree is nearly complete – this time next month I’ll have it all behind me and I’ll be just waiting on my results. Then hopefully wearing the gown come December time! It’s crazy how fast it’s gone. University life felt so different this time…

// what I feel vs. what they want

An ongoing struggle that I seem to have is that I will often get so caught up in worrying about what people expect me to say, rather than saying exactly how I feel. Or I will focus too much on how people might expect me to act, rather than acting how I would naturally.

I would just like to point out – I am not saying that I am fake, or that I hide behind a persona or anything of the sort. I never…

// one week free of social media.

Today I have officially been off social media for one week. Well with the exception of WhatsApp and LinkedIn, but I think that’s understandable. Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter and Tumblr have all been deleted. The apps on my phone at least, not my accounts. I’m not that dedicated.

I was going to wait until February and go a whole month free, but I woke up this day last week (Saturday 19th…

I haven’t written in so long – mainly because it was always when I felt down that I felt the need to write. But I am in such a good place at the moment and I wanted to share that. 

Anyone that really knows me will know that I really love the simple things and I’m quite easily amused. As I write this I am on the bus from Dublin to Belfast after spending the night with my boy and I’ve just watched…

A couple weeks back marked one year since I moved back home. And it’s crazy how fast that year went. So much has happened, and yet at the same time, not very much. I remember being in a cafe in Los Angeles trying to figure out what exactly I was going to do when I landed back in grand aul Belfast. I had made a list of all these plans: to learn how to drive; get a job in a field that I seen myself…

// i thought i was getting better.

This feeling is horrible. All the self-doubt eating me from the inside out. Even writing this down is giving me anxiety because as much as I love writing this blogs to help me grasp my thoughts and share them, this is something I’m not sure I want to share. It’s no secret now that I’ve always thought too much about what other people think, but I was really beginning to think that I was getting…

// afraid of failure.

One of my most undesired flaws is my fear of failure. Nine times out of ten the reason I won’t do something is because I’m afraid of messing it up. I’m afraid of it not being perfect. I’m afraid of other people judging whatever it is, and in turn, judging me. I understand the importance of failure and how it acts as a learning curve. Nobody is at their best right of the bat – not even Beyoncé.…

// becoming a ‘shepherd’.

For some time now I’ve been figuring out who I am. I mean, I suppose I’ve been doing it since day one, but recently I’ve really began to realise who I truly am. How my mind works. It works differently than I thought it did before. Or maybe it’s always worked that way and I just never let myself really see that. I often think that my mind works differently than others, but who’s to know really. As…