Flabbergasted

once i figure out how to unclench my entire body my life will begin

I refuse to believe anyone actually has a visceral reaction of disgust to pineapple on pizza. As far as “weird foods” go that’s one of the most tame examples and pineapple is probably the least offensive fruit to put in a savory dish. Pineapple antis are on some performative shit like the people who pretend to be really uncomfortable with the word “moist”

the older i get the more sensitive i become to warm genuine words, like wow you really think that kindly of me? hold up, lemme cry

reblog if its friday and you made it

“aw you remembered!” bitch i’m in love with you of course i remembered

no offense but I’ve never gotten over anything that’s happened to me in my life

they call it a heartbeet because your heart looks like a beet

this is so true

I know

What’s going on here

text post I made about heart beets and someone said they thought it was true and I told them I knew that

We are so worried about spreading germs but we will drink directly from a can that’s been manufactured, shipped, and handled by gas station employees.