oh worm

No one speak to me until I’ve had my chapstick

Guy whose about to figure out eating 50,000,000 bananas is a lethal dose of radiation: mm im so full from 49,999,999 bananas but one more

i have learned not to disrespect pasta

a godless heathen potato

Saddest 4 Word Stories That Will Give You Chills

*seductively flips leg hair* 

you bet your ass i got this strong from screaming at the moon and eating dirt

I’m just a 75 year old man who loves a nice pretzel

i ❤ girls with radiation poisoning

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

wheres seasons greasons

its that time of year again

It doesn’t have to be

its not optional