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I wanna grab you by the scruff like one does to a cat that is trying to run away from the crime scene /affectionate positive QuQ
Gosh I just can't, the level of details here it's insane, this is gonna be such a monologue, I apologize beforehand to the people that don't like to read long messages, omg ahh ahh AHHHHHHHHHH EXPLODING, BURSTING, DYINGGGGG /pos!!! VERY POS!!!
I can't say everything I'd without a massive amount of spoilers, but justtttt know you captured them perfectly well, I love this so much <3 I'mma have it as my laptop wallscreen paper for the next eternity... maybe two >w<
I turn 30 next month so hereâs what I learned in my 20s:
âdonât work for startups, theyâre always one âinnovative ideaâ away adding âsell your kidneys on the black marketâ to your job description.
âkeeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.
âthose little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money
âoverly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them
âyou can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and theyâre a godsend for hot cocoa
âpeople donât care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them
âtry to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in
This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:
keep on not working for startups
sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that's okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don't burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again
it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it'll be
related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you ... well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive
knees are bastards too
don't even get me started on ankles
there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I'm sorry
one day you're gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you
on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about
never get down on the floor without an exit strategy for getting back up
I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:
"loving yourself" is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on
this will happen incrementally - be patient
along those lines, if you haven't started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it
no, shut up. do it. "but it's haaaaard!" don't care. do it.
whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup
stretch regularly - your future self will thank you
at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced
this will be infuriating and annoying
otoh, most other things just... will not matter to you as much
at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like "eh" and deciding to stay in. this is okay.
you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care
but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you'll never be irrelevant
your company still doesn't love you - don't give them more than they pay you for
get a fucking hobby, especially a hobby that involves physically creating/handling something and/or moving your body in physical space. it will do you more good than you can imagine
I'm talking that massive, never-ending Discord chat with your bestie? The one that makes you giggle through the day? It's not a "waste of time," it's what time was made for
If that's fanfic for your favorite characters who never even met on screen celebrate that!
If that's building a tiny fleet of snake villagers for your snake town and they just cover your mantel hell yes!
If that's collecting pillows and making a fort of them every weekend I'll be right over
Remembering information is not enough, you must do your best to keep track of who provided it. It is much harder to be manipulated or misled if you can spot one suspicious piece of information and retroactively check others you received from the same source. It also serves your ability to determine how and when sources are reliable, and when they are likely to distort the facts of a situation to suit their biases
iâve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.
as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. itâs just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. weâre small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, âiâm not here to hurt you. hereâs something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know weâre on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. iâm being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.â
small talk isnât to get to know a person. itâs just a greeting to affirm youâre buddies in the universe.
i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.
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something about foreshadowing being more prominent the second time around reading a story but in a way that the meaning is changed forever and you can never view a story the same as you once did before. do you know what i mean.
literally so insane how you can never go back to the innocence of it all. you see all the signs coming and you know how it ends. but there's nothing you can do to turn a blind eye to it anymore. it hits you and you just have to keep going.
Saying âthis niche, properly tagged, warned, and rated piece of fiction could theoretically hurt someoneâ is not a good argument. This properly labeled cookie with the allergen information at the bottom that contains gluten could theoretically harm me very badly, but only if I consume it. Tags are like nutrition labels, and warnings are like allergy information. If you know you have an allergy to something, the logic is to stay away from it. It is the same with fiction. Iâm not running through stores yelling at people to take all the products with gluten off the shelves just because it could hurt me. Instead I ignore it and go to the gluten free section and find cookies that are right for me. And if running through a grocery store yelling sounds ridiculous, thatâs because it is. Stop doing the same with fiction.
And just like with food, what might be harmful for one person to consume could be quite *beneficial* for others. One manâs trigger is another manâs catharsis.
AND if you lack the maturity/self control/awareness to stop yourself from eating things that could potentially harm you, you either 1) are too young to be making your own food choices and should be supervised by a parent/other adult who is supposed to be responsible for you (and the store clerk who put the food on the shelf is NOT) or 2) need to take accountability for your own actions, because if you deliberately consumed something you knew could hurt you as a fully autonomous adult, then you really have no one to blame but yourself.
Iâd like to add that within AO3, âChoose Not To Use Archive Warningsâ is, in this food analogy, like the food labels that read âThis product was manufactured in a facility where [potential food allergens] are used in the production of some productsâ. Itâs not telling you theyâre in there, but even more importantly, itâs not telling you theyâre not. This is not the same as âNo Archive Warnings Applyâ which would be the certified [food allergen] free food. One guarantees a certain experience, the other has given you no promises as to what may or may not be included and is very much a consume-at-your-own-risk product.
Why Bakugouâs Apology Fails to Meet the Standard of a Proper Apology
I know people have already talked about Bakugouâs âapologyâ before, but I wanted to add my two cents in after reading about some comments made by someone that rubbed me the wrong way. They basically said BakuDeku was toxic in middle school, but now itâs okay cause Bakugou âapologizedâ and Izuku already forgave him, which really? So, yeah. Time to explain why his apology is bad and definitely doesnât make their relationship any better :D
I want to preface by saying this beginning portion is just my own observations, and later points I use are just compiled from an internet search of what makes a good apology. Iâll link the websites at the end. Anyways, into my personal analysis and later dissection of his apology after the cut!
Firstly, Bakugou apologizes in front of all of Class 1-A which I believe raises some flags and gives off the feeling of emotional manipulation. Also, Izuku has not eaten or slept in a few days, so one could also argue that he is in no state of mind to actually be processing his apology.
The next issue with Bakugouâs apology is that the whole scene is barely even an apology. Bakugou only says one sentence that expresses remorse or has the word âsorryâ in it.
Everything leading up to it is him explaining why he treated Izuku the way he did.
While itâs not wrong to offer an explanation for why you did the things you did, half of your apology shouldnât consist of an explanation for your actions. An apology is about accepting responsibility for your wrongdoing, not trying to justify or say, âYes, I did something wrong, BUTâŚâ
I also thought about how he said he was forced to see Izukuâs strength and his weaknesses which is fine on itâs own, but if youâre supposed to be apologizing for bullying a kid for 10+ years, shouldnât it be focused on how he was forced to realize his actions for those ten years were wrong? And how Izuku never looked down on him or was above him like he thought?
This is something that gets under my skin. Bakugouâs âdevelopingâ relationship with Izuku is never about how he bullied him and he realizes heâs wrong, itâs about how Izuku, his former punching bag, got strong and now Bakugou feels weak. I feel this comment about strength and weakness also highlights how self-centered this apology truly is.
Also the, âBut I just gotta speak my truth,â just feels really out of place in an apology. Youâre here to speak THE truth and show your remorse, not go on about âyour truthâ. This type of rhetoric has no place in an apology.
Then Bakugou says some stuff about the path Izuku has been going down which, unfortunately, constitutes about the other half of the apology scene. Again, his apology should actually be focused on what he did wrong, not trying to nitpick Izukuâs actions (though Izuku is obviously in bad shape).
I would also like to point out how this apology came after the fight with Class 1-A where Bakugou taunted Izuku once and still acted rather abrasive
Itâs funny how he accuses Izuku of thinking the same way he did for years (being above everyone else) when Izuku isnât thinking like that at all. And heâs still acting very aggressively.
In all honesty, there is so much wrong with this battle, but one could just chalk it up to âBakugou being Bakugouâ. This doesnât paint him in a good light though. If he truly was apologetic, remorseful, and regretted his actions and the way he acted, you would think he would try to show that in the way he behaves and treats Izuku, but itâs largely still the same.
These criticisms above are not based on any of the research I did but are simply things I noted that seemed questionable about his apology. Now I will get into some of the crucial things that make a good apology and how Bakugou failed to meet those criteria, not my own personal little analysis, and cross-examine to see how Bakugou fails to meet those standards.
Bakugou did do one thing right, sort of. He did kind of seem honest about what he said. At least, I donât really see a reason to doubt the sincerity of his words. I will say that it doesnât necessarily seem like Bakugou has truly learned from his mistakes though since his characterization is not that consistent and any true growth is always just retconned. I just canât really say anything for sure about how genuine his emotion were. But his possible sincerity doesnât make up for all the areas heâs lacking in.
Bakugou doesnât really take responsibility for his actions, he just says he sorry, but he also doesnât try to shift the blame to someone else, although his explanation of why he bullied and tormented Izuku could be seen as victim-blaming to some extent. But he definitely doesnât directly and explicitly take responsibility for the pain he caused and still causes Izuku.
Bakugou does not tell Izuku that heâs going to change his ways or reassure him that he will not treat him badly anymore. Iâm fact, he goes as far as saying that âhe doesnât expect it to change a thingâ between the two of them. Now, that statement could be interpreted in various manners, some worse than others, but in a proper apology (which Izuku should most certainly receive for 10+ years of bullying and abuse) Bakugou should tell him that heâs not going to continue belittling, insulting, and harassing him anymore. A big part of apologizing is actively making an effort not to do the thing youâre apologizing for.
Additionally, when properly apologizing, you should say what youâre apologizing for. I would say especially in Bakugou and Izukuâs case, that rings true. However, Bakugou is very vague about what exactly it is he is sorry about simply stating that he âis sorry for everythingâ. Dancing around the misdeed is common but the best for a good apology.
Well then, what exactly is he apologizing for? Everything, apparently. But what is everything? Also remember that this is in front of the entire class. His apology would be strengthened exponentially if he actually stated what he was apologizing for instead of leaving 10+ years of abuse in the air. The apology canât be fully realized unless the extent and severity of the bad deed is recognized.
Bakugou doesnât show true understanding of why it was bad. When talking about Izukuâs self-sacrificial nature and general poor view of himself just before the battle, he doesnât acknowledge that his years of bullying are what instilled this in Izuku and instead implies that All Might is to blame for this behavior and mindset.
In the next panels he says he canât let those two be together just showing that he believes All Might is the cause of Izukuâs unhealthy mindset and the reason why heâs so run down now. He literally threw his idol under the bus instead of realizing the damage he caused to Izukuâs mental state and well-being (though Bakugou isnât wrong about All Mightâs mindset).
As far as I can recall, and I havenât read the manga or watched the anime in a bit, but Bakugouâs never truly seen or acknowledged how his actions have affected Izuku and the impact they still have on him today. He never truly looks at Izuku and recognizes the consequences of his actions in Izukuâs wellbeing.
Bakugou never acknowledges his actions as wrong in the apology, he just says sorry for them. He never knew said âEverything I did to you is wrong,â or âI know I what Iâve done is wrong,â (which, is still really vague) but simply says sorry with no acknowledgement of wrongdoing on his part and know confirmation of how realizes his behavior is unacceptable. Anyone can apologize for something whether right or wrong, so itâs important that when you do apologize for doing something wrong, you actually take ownership of the wrongdoing.
Bakugou also never shows much regret or remorse. He does says sorry, but as Iâve already said, he never truly takes responsibility or shows or says that heâs regretful or remorseful. He does have a calmer look on his face, but besides hanging his head down, he doesnât seem very remorseful, although I suppose you could chalk it up to his personality and temperament.
I would like to say that Bakugouâs apology did not have to be perfect. No one is perfect, and he is far from perfect. Itâs not like him to even apologize in the first place. And this isnât the ideal circumstance to apologize. However, people like to act like this apology is WAY better than it is. Some think it makes everything better for their relationship. They believe it really shows how far heâs come. Many in the fandom hold this apology in way too high regard. I was here to explain why his apology was not good and why people should not act like he did this amazing thing when he really only did the bare minimum at best. I donât personally care for Bakugou, but this was not necessarily intended to be a critique of his character.
Feel free to make any corrections on any things I said that may have been false. I would like to hear your critiques of Bakugouâs apology as well.
Doing my very own little idea of Akatsuki Naruto because i think he wouldn't be all gloomy n shit but still silly bc come on u can't tell me thats not his default.
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oopsie i tripped and spilled my link to archive dot org's downloadable copy of Microsoft office suite for 2007, which features no AI tools and is a powerful word processor that still holds up just fine on windows 10!
Iâm seeing a lot of people saying this post changed their brain chemistry, and as a neuroscientist I wanted to say yes!!! Yes it does!
Wanting something requires dopamine signaling, but liking something doesnât.
If you have a mental illness/disorder that affects dopamine, you might feel that you donât want to do the things that you like. You do still like them. You will appreciate having done them.
Let your likes guide you.
(If you want to read more, hereâs one experimental paper about it. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5171207/ This theory called the incentive-sensitization theory was originally created to explain behaviors in addiction but can be applied elsewhere as well)
Rewards are both âlikedâ and âwantedâ, and those two words seem almost interchangeable. However, the brain circuitry that mediates the psych
This was filmed at the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which rescues, rehabilitates, and releases orphaned elephants in Kenya (among other conservation efforts). Charity Navigator has given it a 4/4 star rating, and you can make donations here or âadoptâ a baby elephant here.
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Have you seen one of these dipshits? If you post regularly on ao3, chances are YES, but more likely you didn't notice nor suspect it was a bot. Sometimes they start off nice, or even praise you before getting nasty out of nowhere, like so:
But much like Grok, their newest obsession is nazism.
I don't know where they come from, or what purpose this could possibly serve other than suicidebaiting random people in the internet, I guess; but apparently they've started parroting names from real users to send these comments and shifting their general length to go by undetected. Maybe those are scrappers trying to train 'reviewbots' to be sold as part of some scam service promising to give feedback for newbie writers, who the fuck knows.
Here are more examples of the tone and backhanded compliments you can find in these:
If you regularly post on AO3 or interact with writers in it, please pass this along so they don't feel insane receiving bombs in their inbox. This is ridiculous.
Another reason to ignore negative comments (especially on AO3)
So at work Iâve been forced to learn about âAI Agentic Workflowsâ. But being an AO3 author, I couldnât help but think of how this technology affects authors on AO3 (and honestly on other social media platforms too).
What I learned was this: Agentic AI workflow software makes it extremely easy to automate, and bulk-post, HIGHLY-STORY-SPECIFIC negative comments to AO3 fics.
If youâre not familiar with what an AI Agentic Workflow is, I highly recommend informing yourself. Youâll be hearing it a LOT very soon. Basically, itâs a linked linked chain of AI prompts on one/many software platforms. Each âagentâ completes a task. Then it hands off the completed task to the next AI Agent in the chain, which builds on it. Then that result is handed off to another agent, etc etc, even potentially to a final agent which analyzes what worked well and what didnât, and changes what the other agents do.
There are a ton of repercussions here.
But letâs stay focused on AO3.
With AI Agentic workflow software, a person/group who wants to silence the voice of a community can easily scrape a tag, analyze stories by the thousands, then post thousands of highly customized, story specific negative comments, all without a human being ever seeing your words.
They could even set up AI agents watching to see if you delete your story, or delete your profile, which would be a marker of success. That success marker could be shared back to the other AI agents, and the whole workflow could be changed via automation to use that more effective approach.
Iâm sure the OTF is working on ways of stopping this. Iâm sure most social media companies are too.
But as usual the tools to create havoc are ahead of the ones to prevent havoc.
Anyway.
TL;DR: If you get a highly-story-specific negative AO3 comment â it does NOT MEAN it was written by a HUMAN! You were probably just story 20,031 in a scraped database of 50,000 stories, all of which were being targeted because they belong to a group/topic/tag that some shitty group or agency wanted to silence because of their horrible political or social.
Donât let them silence you. They never looked at your words to begin with.
Hyperfixation Dump @debb987 - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
