Shame's Only Daughter

A Song of Ice and Fire (and Related Fandoms)

☆ The Crimson King ☆

Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire Main pairing: Rhaegar Targaryen x fem!Crannogman!oc Summary: Frida of House Fenn is visiting King's Landing to swear her family's fealty to the new King Rhaegar of the Seven Kingdoms on the day of his coronation, when she experiences a strange encounter with the king himself in the gardens of the Red Keep. Status: Discontinued - I may rewrite this at some stage, which could lead to writing more parts but I have no current plans to do so Word count: 3,298 Chapter count: 1 Last Updated: 24 October 2023 (written mostly in 2022 and earlier)

☆ These Violent Delights ☆

Part II | Part III | Part IV ❤️‍🔥| Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX ❤️‍🔥

Fandom: House of the Dragon Main Pairing: Davos Blackwood x fem!Bracken!oc Summary: Cersha Bracken should never have been at the battle at the burning mill. By the will of the gods, or by pure chance, she found a wounded foe and decided to carry him to safety. As the natural enemies get to know the people beneath the heraldry, house loyalty becomes a complicated sentiment. Status: Ongoing - sporadic updates Word count: 20,382 Chapter count: 9 Last Updated: 11 September 2024

Bands and Musicians

☆ Brooklyn Baby ☆

Part II | Part III ❤️‍🔥 | Part IV | Bonus I | Bonus II | Bonus III ❤️‍🔥 | Bonus IV

SFW Alphabet | NSFW Alphabet ❤️‍🔥

Read the Q&A and patch notes

Fandom: Geese/Music RPF Main Pairing: Cameron Winter x fem!oc Summary: Best friends since senior year of high school, Cameron and Allison are the epitome of will they/won't they. When she complains that they never got to have a real prom, Cam takes matters into his own hands. Status: Completed (bonus chapters are possible) Word count: 33,363 Chapter count: 9 Last updated: 10/05/2026

☆ Hanging Up My Heart ☆

Fandom: The Allman Brothers Band/Classic Rock RPF Main Pairing: Duane Allman x fem!oc/named!reader Summary: You're content traveling with the Allman Brothers, but when your best friend and fellow groupie chooses to leave to tour with Traffic, will you go with her or stay behind? Status: Completed Word count: 3,544 Chapter count: 1 Last updated: 20 May 2023

☆ Let Me Mend the Past ☆

Fandom: King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard/Music RPF Main Pairing: Ambrose Kenny-Smith x fem!reader/unnamed oc Summary: Years after an adolescent one-night stand, you and Ambrose reunite. Status: Completed Word count: 6,118 Chapter count: 1 Last updated: 29 March 2022

☆ The Earth From a Distance ☆

Fandom: Hozier/Music RPF Main pairing: Andrew Hozier-Byrne x fem!oc Summary: Gráinne moved to Dunbur to escape her past, to live quietly and write, and wallow in all the grief she had acquired. Andrew has other ideas… Status: Uncertain - it works as a one shot, but I may write more at some stage Word count: 3,664 Chapter count: 1 Last updated: 26 November 2024

☆ We Share the Same Sky ☆

Fandom: Black Country New Road/Music RPF Main pairing: Isaac Wood x fem!oc Summary: Isaac and Ellie are old friends from highschool who reconnect and rapidly fall in love. Status: Uncertain (published exclusively on AO3 due to harassment I have experienced) Word count: 39,586 Chapter count: 10 Last updated: 9 November 2024

Other Fandoms

☆ The Craving ☆

Part II | Part III

Fandom: White Fang (1991) Main pairing: Jack Conroy x fem!oc Summary: Quinn has lived in the wild north since childhood, Jack is a city boy who just arrived. Will their differences be a source of attraction, or tear them apart? Status: Ongoing - sporadic updates Word count: 7226 Chapter count: 3 Last updated: 6 October 2024

☆ Entanglement Theory ☆

Bonus Chapter

Fandom: Sunshine (2007) Main pairing: Robert Capa x fem!oc Summary: Sleepless nights are common on Icarus II... Status: Completed - open to more bonus chapters, ficlets etc Word count: 6133 Chapter count: 2 Last updated: 30 August 2023

☆ The Grey Wind ☆

A Different Kind of Sacrament

Fandom: Vikings Main pairing: Athelstan x fem!oc Summary: Moments between Athelstan and Ylva on their journey from master and thrall to lovers. Status: Ongoing - story to be published out of chronological order Word count: 1154 Chapter count: 1 Last updated: 26 May 2025

☆ A Hazy Shade of Winter ☆

Part II

Fandom: The Holdovers Main pairing: Angus Tully x fem!oc Summary: Carol Hunham is stuck at Barton over the Christmas break with her strange and stuffy uncle. To make matters worse, a certain boy takes an immediate disliking to her. Status: Ongoing - sporadic updates Word Count: 4,556 Chapter count: 2 Last updated: 26 April 2024

☆ I Don't Know Why I Bite ☆

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Fandom: The Long Walk Main pairing: Gary Barkovitch x fem!oc Summary: Birdie Tucker is the first girl to ever participate in the Long Walk. She never expected to meet someone like Gary Barkovitch along the way. Status: Ongoing Word Count: 11,395 Chapter count: 5 Last updated: 9 June 2026

☆ Midnight At Noonday ☆

Part II | Part III

Fandom: Dead Poet's Society Main pairing: Various x fem!oc Summary: Being the only girl in attendance at one of the most prestigious all-boys preparatory schools in the United States is not easy, but it has its perks. Follow along the plot of Dead Poets Society through the eyes of Clare Keating, the Captain's daughter. Status: Ongoing - sporadic updates Word count: 9295 Chapter count: 3 Last updated: 1 March 2024

☆ My Iron Lung ☆

Fandom: Mickey 17 Main pairing: Mickey Barnes x fem!oc Summary: After a rough death, Mickey needs some TLC. Status: Completed Word count: 1,982 Chapter count: 1 Last updated: 17 April 2025

☆ Needy for a Weedy Shy Guy ☆

Fandom: Flight of the Conchords Main pairing: Bret McKenzie x fem!oc Summary: Bret has the post-breakup blues, and Jemaine is convinced he has the perfect solution... Status: Completed Word count: 3,193 Chapter count: 1 Last updated: 3 January 2025

☆ The Reaper ☆

Fandom: Frankenstein (2025) Main pairing: The Creature/Adam/Frankenstein's Monster x fem!oc Summary: After escaping the cruel grasp of his creator, the creature lurks amongst the millstones behind a cottage, watching and protecting the young woman who lives inside. Status: Ongoing Word count: 692 Chapter count: 1 Last updated: 19 November 2025

☆ The Wolf with the Red Roses ☆

Day 1 – Mile 20

We’re crossing an enormous causeway, the afternoon sun shines pale gold over the flat expanse of water on my left. Through huge vents beneath the road, the water crashes down, throwing up a cloud of fine mist that settles on my skin. I’ve never seen country like this. Back home, my world was crowded on all sides by the crags of Appalachia. Trickling streams and ponds were the only water I knew. I always wanted to see the big water, but I never thought it would happen, least of all like this. Every beautiful thing my eyes take in, all the sweltering heat and every painful step, it should all belong to Ewing. I feel him beside me all the time, like a monkey on my back. I wonder if he came from somewhere coastal, or if the glare of the sun on the water would amaze him as much as it does me.

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper, but I keep moving.

Day 1 – Mile 24

I’m still with the Musketeers, but my soul is far away. Every time I blink, I’m back there again. I can’t stop it running through my mind. Ewing, thrashing on the ground, foamy saliva spilling all over the road. I could have stopped, I could have shoved my fingers down his throat and made him throw it all up. The only thing keeping me moving is the vague notion that if I ever won this thing, I could give all the money to his family. I don’t believe in God or hell, but if there’s a place of eternal punishment, I would go there gladly if it meant I could bring him back.

I had to pee just up the road a ways. I only caught two warnings, which was nice. I don’t know how I’d fare with a third, walking around with a gun to my head. It doesn’t bear mentioning, but I did prepare for it. I’m wearing a long denim skirt over my shorts so I won’t be as exposed when I go. Still, it’s a highly unpleasant thing to take a piss with two dozen boys walking by, a PA system announcing what you’re doing, and the threat of death over your shoulder. Part of me wanted to just stay down there and let them get me, but I wouldn’t much like to die on the bowl.

“They should give you penalties,” Ray muses as I pour my canteen over my hands. “‘Cause you gotta squat down to pee.”

“Huh?”

“You’re at a huge disadvantage, y’know? The committee should have factored that into the rules. Like, give you an extra ten seconds, or give you fifteen seconds ‘til you get a warning or something.”

“I dunno.” It’s hard to keep a thought in my head that doesn’t involve Ewing. “Maybe they’ll think of that next year if they keep letting girls in. I’m like the guinea pig, they don’t want me to win. Besides, shit like that would only put a target on my head. Bigger one than I’ve already got, anyhow.”

“There’s no target on your head, Birdie.” Ray nudges me with his elbow.

“You’re kidding me, right? I’m the only girl, and I killed a man.”

“Birdie-”

“What you need is a fuckin’… apparatus of some sort.” Hank pipes up. It’s so absurd that, for a moment, I find some levity.

“An apparatus?”

“Yeah, like a funnel or something.” Against the odds, he’s making me laugh. “Like a little plastic cup thing that fits over your, ah…”

“My pussy?” The rest of the Musketeers crack up.

“I was lookin’ for a nicer word for it, but uh, yeah… your pussy.”

“Privates.” Art corrects, looking away in embarrassment.

“There it is.” Hank points. “But yeah, a cup with a piece of uh, garden hose or something.”

“See, that’s why they should have let me stay at the same holding place as you guys. We could have built the Hank Olson Long Walk Piss Apparatus. Patent pending.”

“Fuck, I’m really gonna have to win this thing, huh? Can’t let this business idea go to waste.”

“I’ll be your business partner.” I snicker. “Just carry a Ouija board to all your meetings.”

“Yeah, that’s real professional.”

“Ay,” Pete speaks up. “You think that shitass has walked off his warnings yet?”

“I mean he must’ve.” Art hums. “Been what? Three hours, maybe?”

“Yes, I’m fucking clean on warnings, fuckfaces!” Barkovitch snaps, turning around to look at me. I try to reach for him with my eyes.

“Y’know, you could’ve just asked him.” I can’t explain why I still have the urge to defend him.

“The hell I wanna do that for?” Pete laughs.

“Just to be decent.” I can’t take my eyes from that fall of sunny blonde hair. With this thing looming over me, I need his humour, his disregard of normality. I’m too proud to go to him, of course. He has to be the one to come to me, to beg my forgiveness. “It’s not kind to talk about people behind their backs.”

“You think he wouldn’t do the same to us if he could get anyone to listen?”

“You’re not the centre of the universe, Pete. When we walked together, we only talked about each other.” I can’t keep the wistfulness out of my tone.

“Don’t tell me Stebbins was right?” Pete’s eyes widen. “You sweet on that white boy, ain’t you?”

“Fuck you!” I snap. “In case you haven’t noticed, I have other shit on my mind.”

“Whatever you say, girlie. Just keep your rat-dog far away from me.”

I glare up ahead. I’ve been too long away from my self flagellation. Ewing is back on my heels again. I’m sorry. I mouth the words to him. I will find some way to make my penance, I swear.

Day 1 – Mile 25

“Hey, man, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Gary speaks up ahead, drawing me rudely from my thoughts. He’s been quiet for a while, but the excitable edge to his voice makes it carry far down the line. “Rank, is it short for, like, ‘Ranklin?’ Like, ‘Ranklin Delano Roosevelt’ or somethin’?”

“It’s Rank.” It’s the kid from before, with the paper cranes.

I squint, shielding my eyes from the sun. He’s soft and slight, walking stiff and proper next to his brash companion. I watch him fix his side-swept hair in a nervous motion.

“Yeah, but what’s it short for? I mean, like…” Gary manoeuvres himself to walk backwards in front of the kid. There’s a palpable tension simmering between them.

“Just Rank.” He says, clipped and polite.

“You’re sayin’ your mama named you fuckin’ Rank?”

“Yeah.”

Barkovitch lets out a wheezing chuckle.

“No fuckin’ way!” He crows. “You’re fuckin’ with me. Your goddamn name is Rank?”

He’s bored. He wants to fight. My instinct is to jog up there and distract him, but there’s a strange new numbness settling over me. He’s not my buddy anymore. He’s certainly not my problem. With the way I go, I ought to keep my nose out of things anyhow.

“Oh, my fuckin’ God! No way! Oh, your mom must have failed with the old coat hanger thing, and she must’ve just had to take it out on you some other way- ooh! Buddy!”

Rank swings on him. It’s a hell of a punch for a little thing like him, but he lacks precision, and Barkovitch is fast. He ducks to the side, golden hair flaring out around him. The Musketeers erupt in shouts, begging Rank not to take the bait.

Warning. Number 5. Warning. Number 19.

“Come on, fuckface. You want me to dance on your grave I’ll do it all day.”

Rank swings on him again, stumbling half way over the road with the momentum of it. Gary dodges easily, giggling. My heart is oddly steady. I feel a detached sense of entertainment at the whole affair.

“Oh, shit! Okay!” Gary cackles.

“Break it up! He’ll fuckin’ kill you!” Pete shouts. I wonder how true that is.

“Asshole!” It’s the first I’ve heard from Collie Parker since the bridge. He’s seething. “Leave the kid alone before I rip your fuckin’ nose off and make you eat it.”

“Okay, meathead.” Gary grins. “Come on, sissyboy! Can’t take a fuckin’ joke?”

“Fuck you!” Rank barks. It only cracks him up.

“Okay, okay.” Rank pulls ahead. For a moment, I think it’s over, then Barky speaks up again. “Well, Rank. One more thing.” The rest of the Musketeers shout out words of warning, but they do little to stop the situation. “I think your mama was givin’ out coupons for blowjobs on 42nd Street. I was thinkin’ of takin’ her up on it. What do you think about that?”

Second warning. Number 19.

Rank swings on him again, this time with all his weight behind it. Barkovitch dodges, and with nothing to crash into, Rank loses his footing and slides face first along the blacktop. Everyone’s shouting for him to get up. I look at his crumpled form with a mild curiosity. He’s wriggling, clawing weakly at the ground. He’s not going to make it.

Warning. 19. Third Warning.

“Get up!” Barkovitch screams, my eyes are glued to him. “Get the fuck up! Hey!”

BANG!

It’s the first one that I haven’t turned around to watch, but when you’ve seen one kid’s brains blown out, the image flashes in your mind with the gunshot, whether you see it with your eyes or not. Barky’s wearing a thousand yard stare. A dog barks somewhere off in the distance. Ray is screaming his head off. I feel like I’m looking at the world from the bottom of a lake. Gary just keeps walking backwards, brow furrowed uncomprehendingly as he looks out at the body on the ground. A little red paper crane falls over with the breeze. Now you know how I feel.

“Hey, Barkovitch!” Baker explodes. “Hey, Barkovitch! You’re not just a pest no more! Now you’re a murderer!”

At last, I feel something. A cold lump of iron in my belly.

“You can’t fucking say that shit, man!” Gary’s stride falters.

Second warning. Number 5.

“I didn’t do that shit! I didn’t fuckin’ touch him-”

“You murdered that man!”

“-he came after me, man! Shut the fuck up. Hey, look, Collie, you saw that shit, right? We’re the fuckin’ same, man. I know, you like to talk, I like to talk-”

“I’m nothing like you motherfucker.” Parker spits. “Say it again and you’ll be chewing concrete. Fucking killed that kid for Christ sakes!”

“Fuck off! Okay? Fuck you. All of you.” He swats the air.

“Why don’t you go back and dance on him, huh?” Gary turns as Pete shouts out. The look on his face, the fucking look… All that pain. Half of that belongs to me. I’m a killer too. “Boogie on his back a little. Entertain us.”

“I know you got that gash sucking cock yourself, scar-face.” He spits, a desperate edge rising in his voice. “Don’t fuck with me.”

He spits on the ground and as he turns, he catches my eye. There’s a split second of connection there. I should be praying on his death, but when those glassy, bloodshot eyes meet mine, I know I could never hate him even half enough to wish for that.

“I can’t wait to see your brains all over the fuckin’ concrete, Barkovitch.” Pete’s voice is dangerously calm. “You know, I’ll cheer when it happens. You fuckin’ piece of shit.”

Day 1 – Mile 17

For the past little while, I’ve been walking in a clump with some of the boys I met at the starting line. They mostly yammer amongst themselves, except for the bespectacled Harkness who has taken a shine to me as a subject for his book. He’s interrogating me pretty thoroughly, but I don’t mind all that much. He’s been bribing me for information with these little chocolate covered peanuts, but I’d have answered his questions regardless. It’s nice to have something to take my mind off the heat and the ache in my shins, and the stupid niggling desire for Barkovitch to turn around and apologise to me. He’s too close for comfort, walking just up ahead with Collie Parker and the paper crane guy. I miss his smile, the way he scrunches up his nose. God, I’m so stupid! Why can’t I let it go?

Harkness has taken a minute to himself to gather his notes, so I have a chance to look around. Just up ahead, there’s a little girl at the side of the road. She’s holding up a cardboard sign. I squint, shielding my eyes to the sun until I can make out the writing.

GO-GO-GARRATY

#47!

I LOVE YOU RAY

“OUR VERY OWN”

“Hey, lover-boy,” I reach over and poke him. “Looks like you got an admirer.”

“Ray! Ray! I love you!” The little girl calls out when she catches sight of him. She’s wearing her Sunday best: a cute pink dress and little ballet shoes.

“C’mon, man.” Pete tuts. “She must be like fourteen.”

Ray squirms, waving awkwardly.

“I love you, Ray!”

“Maybe she just wants your autograph, that’s all.” Art says, ever the diplomat.

“I thought spectators weren’t fuckin’ allowed,” Hank whinges. “’Cause we’re on television and shit.”

“Don’t be mean!” I pinch his arm. “I think it’s sweet. Y’know, I did the same thing when we had the Walk in Kentucky. Went out and cheered for the home walker.”

“Did he win?”

“No, he keeled over a half mile after I saw him.” I scoff. “I hope for Ray’s sake she’s a better cheerleader than me.”

“Eh, whatever. She shouldn’t be here anyway.”

“Don’t be a sourpuss, Olson.” Pete chides. “Boy’s got a fan. Let him have his fun.”

“Thanks, Pete.” Ray doesn’t look like he’s having any fun at all.

“Hey, don’t thank me too much. I like you, but if you fall over, I won’t pick you up.”

Something in the sparkle of his eye tells me that’s a crock of horseshit. I know that look. He’s got it bad.

“We all in this together, right?” Art muses. “No harm in keeping each other amused.”

“D’you know what?” Pete cracks a warm smile. “I take it back. They say you shouldn’t make friends on the Long Walk, but fuck it. I kinda like you four. Even you, Olson.”

He reaches over and punches his shoulder.

“Fuck off!”

“No! I’m serious! Hey, hey, a short friendship is better than no friendship, right?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Art agrees.

My line of sight finds Barkovitch again, walking on his own. I’m hit by a wave of sadness. Those couple of hours when we walked together were the most fun I’ve had since I was a child.

“Come on, man.” Pete rallies us. “Let’s be Musketeers.”

“How the hell are we gonna be Musketeers?” Hank gripes. “There’s five of us.”

“You love your technicalities, don’t you?” I snicker.

“Come on, now! We stick together ‘til we’re all that’s left. How about that?” Pete claps his hands. “All for one!”

“And one for all.” Ray is the only one who speaks up.

“Nah. And again. I need to hear it louder.” I’m still staring at Gary. I don’t get it. This was supposed to be us. “All for one!”

“And one for all!” We all shout out, myself included. Why should I feel so shitty? He did this to himself.

“Y’know, y’all sound like a bunch of fuckin’ queers.” Barkovitch turns on his heel, scowling. My heart squeezes. I missed that voice, even now as he’s spewing drivel.

“Oh, you tryna suck this dick, Barkovitch?” Pete grabs his crotch. I wince.

“Sounds like you wanna eat my fuckin’ meat, you sick fuck.”

“Gary!” I snap. He glares at me, jaw feathering. I mouth the words: “What the fuck?”

It looks like he’s about to clap back, but Hank cries out next to me.

“Fuck! Ah!” He clutches his leg, hobbling along. He looks just like Curly. I put my arm around him. “My legs feel funny. Like the muscles are all turning baggy.”

“Here, put some of your weight on me.” I coax him.

“Thanks.” He leans into me. He’s not the heaviest, but it’s hard going holding him up.

“Hey, relax.” Pete soothes. “Happened to me a few miles back. It passes.”

Harkness reaches over and shakes his back of chocolates. “You want another one?”

“Sure.” I grab a couple, throw one in my mouth and give one to Hank.

“So, Birdie,” Harkness starts up again. “Tell me, what do you think of friendship on the Long Walk?”

“This oughta be good.” Pete scoffs.

“Well, I dunno, Rich. I mean… I think, from a logical standpoint, it doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense to make friends on the fucking death march, but… well, think about it evolutionarily, right? Human beings are pack animals. It’s like our most basic fucking instinct to-to form connections, right? Like, when I came here I said to myself I wasn’t gonna make any friends. I was just gonna keep walking, and being around other people on a… like, a surface level would be enough for me. But, no! I started making friends before I even sat down at the starting line, ‘cause that’s… well, that’s what you do to survive! I mean, that’s what’s made us so-so prosperous as a species. Extensive, intense person to person relationships. Like, what is a city, or a civilisation, if not a massive network of friendships? Human beings love to love, and we love to survive. It’s unavoidable. I think the lovers among us will last the longest ‘cause we’ll all be lifting each other up.”

There’s a moment of silence before Pete speaks up again.

“That’s beautiful, Birdie.”

“Thanks.” I can see Barkovitch has his head turned just slightly. He’s listening.

Harkness rustles the chocolate bag again. “Think you deserve another one for that.”

“No thanks, Rich.” Up ahead, there’s a guy I haven’t spoken to before. He looks over his shoulder at the sound of the bag. He looks hungry. “Hank. You okay on your own now?”

“Yeah, yeah I think so.” He takes his weight off me. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good. You tell us if it changes, okay?” He nods. “Hey, Rich?”

“Mm?

“Can I give that guy up there a chocolate? He looks like he’s having a hard time.”

Harkness looks pained. “Just him, okay?”

“Okay, promise.” I take the bag and jog a little to catch up to the guy, passing Gary as I go. He says nothing. As I catch up to the guy, I see he’s wearing number 1 dog tags. “Hey! Ewing, right?”

“Uh, yeah.” He frowns dubiously. “James Ewing.”

“It’s good to meet you, James. I’m Birdie.”

“I know that.” He scoffs. “Everyone does.”

“Well, I’m not used to my infamy so you’ll have to forgive me.”

“Alright.” He still looks sceptical. “Well, it’s nice to meet you too, Birdie.”

“Thank you. Hey, would you like a chocolate?”

He furrows his brow. “Why?”

“You look like you need one.” I shake the bag at him. He gives in and digs his hand in. “Take a couple.”

“That’s… very kind of you.” He has three in his hand. He tosses the first in his mouth and munches it down, swallowing before I’m quite sure he’s tasted it.

“Thanks! I figure it can’t hurt to be kind. Maybe somewhere down the line you’ll pay it back.”

He nods pensively and chews through another one, swallowing slower this time. He chucks the third in, frowning as he bites down. He clears his throat. It’s an odd, choked noise. He touches his neck with a look of dawning horror. Something’s wrong.

“What’s a matter?” I ask, heart already hammering in my chest.

His accusing gaze snaps to me, his face turns a sickening puce as he opens his mouth, spitting brown saliva down his chest. His legs lock as he starts to shake, clawing at his throat.

Warning. Number 1. Number 50.

“Ewing!” I shout.

He’s falling behind fast, spittle spewing onto the asphalt as he collapses, thrashing like a stuck fish. The chocolates fall from my hand as I try to make a run for him, but Pete collects me with his arm around my waist on his way past.

“It’s like he’s shaking and shit!” Barkovitch giggles, leaping over Ewings convulsing form.

Warning. Number 1. Second warning.

“Must have some medical shit he didn’t report.”

Then, it dawns on me. The peanuts. I turn to the Major and start screaming at the top of my lungs.

“HEY! HEY! IT’S THE PEANUTS! DON’T HURT HIM! IT’S THE PEANUTS!” Pete’s dragging me along now with Art on my other arm, but I’m putting up a hell of a fight. The Major doesn’t spare me a fucking glance. “WAIT! IT’S MY FAULT! IT’S MY FAULT! DON’T HURT HIM! PLEASE!”

“It’s not your fault.” Pete says, low and determined. “You save your breath now. It’s not your fault.”

Warning. Third warning. Number 1.

“NO! GOD, PLEASE! NO!” It’s the longest ten seconds of my life. Ewing’s on the ground, gurgling and spitting up with this unbearable liquid wheezing.

“Why don’t they just fucking end it?” Ray sounds as sick as I feel.

BANG!

My world crumbles. Viscous blood gushes across the road, little peanut chocolates litter the ground between me and the boy I killed, trampled to powder by passing feet.

“I killed him!” I wail. “Oh, my God, I killed that kid!”

“Hey,” Gary appears before me, jogging backwards. He looks somewhere between jubilant and concerned. “You didn’t kill him! Dumbass should have told you about the peanut shit. I mean, that’s gotta be on him, right?”

“Break off, Barkovitch.” Pete says, low and dangerous. “You leave her be, little man.”

For a moment, Barkovitch looks like he’s going to fight back, but something on Pete’s face must be truly frightening, as he turns and jogs away.

“I should’ve asked him!” I gasp for breath. “That’s the one fucking thing you ask a person before you give them something with fucking peanuts in it! Are peanuts an issue?! Christ!”

Ray appears in front of me, risking himself, walking backwards with his hands on my shoulders.

“Hey, Birdie. You gotta keep it together, okay?” His warm brown eyes hold my mind steady. “You didn’t do that shit on purpose. You just keep walking, ‘kay?”

I nod, swallowing down the lump in my throat.

“C-can I…? Oh, God!” I throw myself on him, pulling tight to his chest.

“Come here, come here.” He holds me to him and manoeuvres me to his side. “Just keep up the pace, okay? I got you.”

Pete takes my hand. “I got you too.”

“We all got you, Birdie.” Art pipes up.

“Tell-tell Harkness I’m sorry.” I cough through the tears. “I-I dropped his chocolates.”

“It’s okay. I’ll tell him.” Hank says. “Don’t you worry about it.”

“Thank you. I-I just… I wanna be quiet for a while, please.”

“Sure. Sure, we’ll be quiet.” Ray coos. “You okay to walk by yourself?”

I nod. “Can… can you keep holding my hand?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll keep holding you too.” Pete adds. “Musketeers stick together.”

“Thank you.”

In that moment, I look up. Gary is looking at me over his shoulder, eyes glassy with sorrow and jealousy. Though there is so much weighing down my soul, I still find the room to pity him.