the passion of lovers is for death

🦇Cassius’ Cave🦇

i mostly post about shameless and the bear as of right now but you may find some sporadic posts about banana fish, yuri on ice, ace attorney, and many others im too lazy to list.

MASTERLIST

I don’t have a strict dni, but these are non-negotiable:

basic dni (racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc)

zionists

terfs

proshippers

Other info about me:

autistic nonbinary lesbian

i am goth :D

my DMs are always open! just be patient as im not always the best at responding right away

same thing with my ask box!

here are some other places you can find me:

ao3

twitter

I am the absolute worst at responding to asks but dont even joke lad...it made me cry real tears. Richie has been thru more than Jesus I stg!! and the fight with Mikey?? (well it was more onesided but wtv) and how it parallels with his fight with carmy at the end of season 2?? how Mikey suggested the name Eva?? they are rlly trying to kill me I stg

He can see it in the slight suppressed hitch of his breath: the irregular patterns of breathing that now emerged. He can see it in his eyes; a dead panned expression that nearly drowned the once light in them. He can see it in the eye contact; how Shane’s pupils would wander everywhere except his own. He never held Shane to that expectation, but the way he frantically searched the surroundings for an unknown source set alarms in his mind.

It was the first time Ilya had a nightmare in front of Shane. It was also the first time he let himself be comforted. Shane didn’t miss the handful of occasions in which Ilya’s morning eyes would droop with exhaustion. Nor did he miss the dark circles that painted under them. He wouldn’t press when Ilya would insist (sometimes with a rather short tone) that he was fine. He would mentally berate himself for not catching any signs, despite Ilya’s nightmares never disrupting his own slumber. One night, when sleep had been a particularly difficult gamble for Shane, he was halfway between consciousness when he heard a low-pitched whimper. He was up in seconds, not thinking twice on whether or not his ears betrayed him. Ilya’s mouth was wrinkled into a heartbreaking grimace and his eyelashes glistened with fresh tears. Shane hovered a palm over Ilya’s trembling shoulders, trying to figure out how to comfort Ilya without abruptly rousing him from his distressing slumber. 

He quickly found himself enveloping Ilya (who was lying on his side facing him) in a tender embrace. He rubbed Ilya’s back almost rhythmically, pressing firmly enough to ground him but still trying to remain gentle. His mouth hovered next to Ilya’s ear, mantras of hushed comforts and shushes. 

“It’s okay, Ilya. I’m right here,” he whispered.

As if it were second nature, Ilya buried his face in Shane’s shoulder and hot tears began to soak the letters shirt.

I relate to her so bad it’s insane. yall found me at a very mel king time in my life

ilya decides to sign up his toddler daughter for swim lessons. needless to say, she is initially terrified of even setting foot in the water (and even leaving her dad's side, for that matter). by the end of the first lesson, she is smiling and giggling and ilya no longer feels like it was a bad idea.