💕 Waffles 💕

I have finally been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, of which I have been suffering with for the last 7 years of my life. I'm not writing this to get attention or for people to care about me even if they don't. If people really cared about me they would drop me a message once in a while but nobody ever does. I'm just lucky I have a few important people in my life that help me including my boyfriend, my dad and my mum. The only people that really do care.

It’s hard to tell people on social media how I truly feel as I am aware depression and anxiety affects people differently so I will tell you how I feel. 

Everyday is a struggle. Constantly feeling on edge, will my boyfriend leave me, will I randomly get attacked on the street. Trying to reach out to people and getting no response back. Why does nobody love me? The nights are the hardest when no one but my boyfriend is around and he doesn’t like to hear I would like to drown myself on a daily basis, but am just too tired to do so. 

I feel sick every time I leave the house. I have panic attacks when my mind races about every possible outcome. 

When my blog got deleted I was devastated as I had worked so hard and lost it all in seconds. I couldn’t get back the posts, the followers, the lovely messages. All gone. Then suddenly, I was too depressed to even try to get it back. And so I stuck around with my 7 followers so I know no one will see this. 

boss: ok I will sort that out for you

me two weeks before moving house: hey how's that transfer?