You don’t even know how long you’ve been laying here. It felt like hours but as your eyes drift to the alarm clock, it’s only been an hour. Dex and yourself have been too busy for each other the past week. Until you came home tonight and he was instantly on you. 

Now you’re pinned to the bed, legs slightly shaking from already cumming twice. His fingers wouldn’t let up on your clit. Sometimes sliding down to tease a finger in before going back up. 

“Dex..fuck baby I can’t-“ You gasped as he pinched you slightly at your remark. He laughed, smirking against your cheek. “Yes, you can baby, I’ve made you go more.”  

You whined remembering what he meant. Even with being extra sensitive now you felt it build again. Your body wanted it, but it all became too much. Your hips tried to pull away from his fingers but you were pinned too much.

 “Quit fuckin’ moving” Dex grunted, nipping at your cheek as he pressed more down on you. He pins one of your legs between his as he spreads you with his free hand. “‘M sorry” you mumbled twice as you moan. “I can’t..ah baby I can’t.” You rambled off as the feeling of it being too much rises again. You try not to squirm as his fingers continue on your clit. 

Wet sounds filled the air again, you felt him grinding against your thigh every now and then. “Mhm you can baby.” Dex added more pressure as his free hand slides under your neck and gripped it firmly, making you look at only him. He felt you clench around nothing as your hips stuttered.

 “There she is…I can feel it sweetheart, give her to me” His voice was strained but you felt his smirk against your cheek. You dig your nails with your left hand into his bicep as the right rests against his pec. “Fuck- fuck dex” Stumbling your words as you try to take a breathe. A mix of curses and his name as you finally let it go. 

Your legs shake under his body. He looks down at you memorizing your face with a signature smirk. His fingers wouldn’t stop and suddenly you were coming again. “Ah fuck dex I-“ You gasped as your eyes rolled back. “I-I love you, mhm I fucking love you.” You mumbled out, not realizing what you were saying. 

You felt his fingers stop on your clit for a minute before going back to light circles. You covered your mouth with one hand and pushed his hand between you away. He finally relented. You felt your face go hot and kept your eyes closed. Dex was still smiling slightly as he kissed your cheek, temple, then nipped at your earlobe. You covered your face with your hands out of embarrassment.

 “You love me huh?” He moved his free hand that was between your legs to help you relax your legs against the bed. You felt the hand that was holding your neck let you rest against the pillow before coming to move your hands from your face. Your eyes were still closed, processing what you said. 

Dex smiled down at you resting his body half over you still, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Did ya mean it?” He asked quietly above you. You sighed and got the courage to open your eyes. You were nervous as you looked into his eyes. “Y-yeah….I did Dex.” You whispered, not realizing you were biting your bottom lip until his thumb swiped over it making you release it. It was a nervous habit you had that he was well aware of. 

You watched him process it before he gave you a full genuine smile. You started to ramble off an apology. “I’m sorry Dex, y-you don’t have to say it back we can just for-“ He cut you off with a surprisingly soft kiss. 

“You love me” he whispered against your lips but sounded like he needed to say it out loud to process it. You brought your hands up to caress his face. Suddenly you squeaked as he put his arm around your back, picking you up slightly to move your head full against the pillow. 

He was fully on top of you now. You both smiled before going back to soft kisses. A small moan coming out of you when he moved his hips down against yours. 

“Mhm my sweet girl.” He mumbled against your lips before going to nip at your jaw line. Your head fell to the side for him, biting your lip as your hands moved down his sides and to the top of his boxers.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It was just past nine at night and you were in the kitchen tidying up while Beau was in some zoom meeting for who knows what. Already showered and dressed in your comfy clothes, teeth brushed and moisturized, just waiting til he was done talking. 

His voice drowns out in the background as you focus on the sounds from outside. Thankful that you could open the small window in the RV. It was always peaceful here, just the sounds of nature which were like white noise to you now. The cold air breezed over your arms as you washed the last dish. 

There was a small dishwasher that you could have used, but you needed something to ground you before bed. On autopilot, you turn off the water and set the dish on the drying rack. You wiped off your hands before pulling back down your sleeves. You could feel the exhaustion from the week crawling up your back. 

Sighing, you reach over the sink and close the window, making sure it was locked before checking that the front door was locked as well. Even though you knew Beau was going to check anyway like he always did before bed. It became a habit for you too.

Opening the small curtain that separated the bedroom from the rest of the RV, you saw Beau half propped up against the headboard. He had this laptop on his lap typing away, not in the meeting anymore. You used the bathroom one last time then headed to your side of the bed. Sliding on top of the covers, you sit next to him. 

"Hey", you mumbled into his shoulder where you laid your head. You looked at his computer screen to see he was typing an email. After a second, he stopped typing and responded. 

"Hey, baby." His voice low with exhaustion as well. His left hand left the laptop and squeezed your leg before it held your cheek as he turned his head to press a kiss to your forehead. 

You let out a content sigh, watching his hands go back to the keyboard to continue typing the email. After a minute, you close your eyes and smile to yourself. "Mhm, you smell nice Beau Beau." You muttered into his neck. He smelled like fresh pine and something else you couldn't put your finger on, but it was just him. 

He chuckled and kept typing, "I took a shower before the meeting after you did." Focusing back on the screen for a moment, "You okay?" He asked you quietly. 

“Just feel blah and very tired." You opened your eyes, pulling back a little so you could look at his side profile a bit better. "I'm not sure if I'm getting a migraine or what." You watched as he frowned, looking down at you for a second. 

"I'm sorry, honey." The frown between his eyebrows stayed as he tried to hurry up the email he had to finish. "Maybe you're getting something from the office. Stuff's been going around the office all week." 

You thought for a second as you closed your eyes again. He was right though. People have been calling out all week leading to a bunch of schedule changed that have been causing him a bit of stress. 

"Mhm maybe, but I hope not." Mumbling into his shoulder as silence filled between you two. You didn't talk anymore so he could get done with whatever he was writing. His fingers against the keyboard was almost lullabying you to sleep, almost. 

Unfortunately, you could only focus on the blah feeling running through you. Your thoughts ruminating on if you were getting sick, what the sickness could be, or if it was another migraine coming in. The next few minutes you zone out, overthinking. Beau finishes the email, powering off the laptop and he closed it to set it aside.

"C'mere darlin'" He mutter in a low voice as he slid down the headboard for a better laying position. He gently moved your head that was resting on his shoulder to just underneath his chin, then carefully moved your body to be half over his. 

Reaching over, he turned off the lamp on his nightstand before grabbing the TV remote. He always catches up on the weather before bed. He turned the sound on low so it wouldn't bother you as much. "Still with me?" Beau asked in a whisper against your forehead. 

"Mhm." You hummed, moving your head up a little to look at him, opening your eyes and watching as the light from the TV illuminated his features. You moved up and pressed a kiss to his bearded cheek before going back to how you were. After a minute of being focused on the weather, he returned the affection. His left hand that was on your lower back moved up to your cheek. His thumb gently caressed your jawline for a second, using his finger to lift up your chin towards him. 

He pressed small kisses from your forehead down your nose until his lips were just on top of yours. You smiled softly waiting for the kiss, but it never came. You opened your eyes after a moment with your eyebrows furrowed. "Can I help you?" You asked looking over his face. He had a small glint his eye that you could tell that he was trying not to smirk.

 "Did you make sure the door is locked?" Beau asked against your lips, too comfy to get up with you on him. 

You stared at him for a moment kinda confused before answering. "Yeah, I checked bef-" You were cut off by Beau finally kissing you. The both of you smirking into it. "Really?" You asked pulling away slightly.

He chuckled looking down at you, "Just trying to distract you from feeling bad, honey." He went back to caressing your cheek after making sure his beard was tickling your lips as he talked. Smiling at his response, you hummed back. "Sweet cowboy, huh?" 

He hummed kissing you again, your left hand comes to his cheek as you two make out for a bit. Once air is needed, you pull away and lay your head back down on him, nuzzling yourself under his chin as your left hand goes to his side. You let out a sigh as you close your eyes trying to relax. Your thumb caressing back and forth just above his hip. 

His shirt rode up slightly when he moved his arms. Your thumb slipped to his warm skin and continued its movements. 

Beau’s left hand was on the side of your head gently massaged every now and then as his focus went back to the TV. His other hand was messing with his beard, a thing he did when he was taking in information and occasionally going up and down your arm. 

You let yourself relax into him, listening to the faint sound of his heartbeat in one ear while the other picked up the low hum of the TV. You felt a kiss on your forehead again as he mumbled.

“Try to get some rest sweetheart, I gotcha.” He muttered lowly, pressing another kiss to your head. He moved his hand from your head to your back, gently scratching it through your shirt. 

You felt yourself slipping into sleep quickly, moving impossibly closer to him you mumbled. “Love you.” 

Beau felt your breathing slow down as you fell asleep. He continued to hold you close as he finished out watching the news. Turning off the TV he ran a hand over his face smiling to himself. 

“Love you more, baby.” 

breath in…you’re fine…breath out

You told yourself as you cracked your neck to try and shrug off the panic feeling creeping in for the third time today. You kept typing away on the computer, but it was hard with the sharp pain behind your eye as it kept reminding you it was there. 

Barely on the seventh hour of your shift, you were already overwhelmed. You were still trying to push away the weight of the week collecting on your shoulders like always, but struggled more than usual as your own personal problems kept popping up. 

Of course, it came with being in this field to have mental struggles, especially with long shifts. You’ve always had some sort struggle, but the job was a distraction…and to have an excuse towards yourself that you could be down in the lows. Unfortunately, this was the week it was all going downhill. Your migraine attacks had a sudden pop up, making your job harder at times depending on the severity. 

With the random attacks, it made your own struggles come up more during work time. You had a problem with dwelling on emotions and letting them stew in your brain too long to the point they would come back in almost of an intrusive manor. It made you more tired and run on fumes as your brain overworked itself. 

You were tired of yourself, tired of being always irritated at something, and tired of the softening looks when they realized you had another migraine. Dana, Langdon, Abbot and Robby were the only ones that knew of your problem. Even though you were close with Mohan and McKay you didn’t want more people to “pity”you. 

Only reason the others knew is because you worked with them more….or when it got to a point of having to press a hand to your forehead/temple, and when you had to close your eyes longer than a normal blink. When they’d noticed these symptoms, they are always overbearing with the question “you okay?”

It irritated you greatly and you loved them, but if you got asked that one more time, you were going to lose it. Especially because no matter how you responded, their face would soften with too much concern. 

That’s where you were at you today, brushing off Dana and Robby multiple times as they hover over you more. Yes, you felt bad as you snapped a couple of times at them, but you couldn’t feel bad now. You needed to focus. 

You followed Langdon into Trauma Four. The patient’s bp was slowing dropping, that’s all you heard before your hearing went out. Everything around you started to sound like a cafeteria, you flinched a bit as your right ear began to ring loudly. 

Not now please…

You begged with yourself as you tried to put on gloves and take a breath. Your hands were too shaky, your fingers not working the way you wanted. There was no way in hell you could perform on the patient if needed. 

breath in…breath out 

How the hell was Garcia from surgery already down here and how the hell are her and Langdon already arguing? You blink slowly a few times as the edges of your vision start to blur. Fuck, you should have listened to Dana and took a break earlier. 

please not now…

You said to yourself again as you finally got on the gloves. As you looked up, you could see Garcia looking at you trying to involve you in the conversation between her Langdon. 

Your right eyelid twitchs 

The deep ache in your chest starts 

You stretch your neck to the right and slammed your eyes shut, trying to breathe. A sharp pain pushes its way to your temple. Letting out a breath, you open your eyes. Garcia has a scalpel in her hand now, getting ready to hand it to you, but she’s still letting Langdon have it with her words. 

The beeping pushes through the ringing in your ears- 

“Alright that’s enough-“ You tried to say loudly, but with too much going on no one heard you. 

The pain behind your eye makes a sharp appearance as the ache in your chest deepens-

“ENOUGH” You yelled as you snapped your glove to your wrist subconsciously. Finally…silent enough except for the beeping. 

All eyes are on you..

You fidget with your glove before pressing a hand to your forehead aggressively. 

“FUCK, I don’t understand how ANY of us are supposed to focus on the patient when you two are acting like you’re at a fucking poker game.” 

You pinch the bridge of your nose before you start taking off your gloves. “Whitaker, please take over for me..-“ 

…breath..

“I can’t-“ You shake your head and quickly walk out of room. Trying to get your breathing back as you walk past the hub and Dana…Finding an open room, you shut the door behind you and pull the curtain. Leaving the lights off, you pace the room trying to regulate your breathing. 

A minute later the door opens and shuts before someone pulls back the curtain, then pulls it shut again. You turn around to see Robby…

“Robby- I’m sorry I fucked up I-“ 

You let out a loud breath, he doesn’t say anything. 

“I mean that’s w-what I’ve been doing all day…snapping at you and Dana when your just trying to help-“ 

“Y/n” 

You continued to pace back and forth and ramble on about your morning. 

“Y/N” 

“I-I fucked up and walked out on a teen this morning who had a bad panic attack all because I couldn’t listen to her explain the cause of it-“ 

“Sweetheart-“ 

“It brought me back to her age when I struggled with compulsions and being ignored by family-“

“Y/N” 

“I’m fucking pathetic, Robby.” You try to take a breath in that you can’t. 

“S-Shit this fucking hurts.” You muttered out as you rubbed a hand against your chest. You tried to lean back against the wall, but you stumbled a bit. 

“Woah..woah okay, sit down please.” Robby caught you by your elbow before helping you sit on the floor. 

You let out a choked sob as you tried to breathe through the pain. He kneeled down to your level at a good distance and took his hand away from your arm. 

“What hurts, honey?” He hummed before speaking again. “Your head bothering you?” 

You shook your head before sucking in a breath. “Y-yes but more my chest right now.” You mutter as you brought your arms up on your knees. Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on something else. Your hands shook uncontrollably on top of your knees. 

“Okay..” He sucked in a breath and rubbed his beard as he looked at you. He placed a hand on yours as you brought the other to rub the center of your chest. “I need you to start breathing with me. Can’t have you passing out on me.” 

His fingers laced with your shaky ones as his thumbs caressed between your index finger and your thumb. “No Robby-“ You shook your head lightly. “You’re gonna be needed out there any minute.” You go to stand up using the wall and his hand to stabilize yourself. 

“Woah..no you need to sit-“ You cut him off as you push his hand away. “I’m not going to waste your time R-Robby….those people out there need you.” You took in a deep breath before releasing it. “This will pass soon-“ 

“No, it won’t.” He replied firmly, “You can’t even stand still and with you hyperventilating, you could pass out soon.” 

You didn’t reply, you let your head thump back against the wall as you try to rub the pain in your chest away. 

“Do you want me to call Abbot?” He asked in a soft tone. 

You shook your head, “No….he deserves the day off.” Abbot’s helped you in the past when you worked night shifts. Especially when he found you in his spot ‘getting some air’. 

“Okay…let me help you then.” He looked at you with puppy eyes. You could have almost laughed through your breathing. “R-Robby you’re needed out there-“ 

“No, they can hold it down for a few minutes. The only attending needed anywhere right now..is in this room.” He looked at you with a serious look as he pointed his fingers down. 

You looked at him with a blank look before giving up and nodding. Sucking in a shaky breath, you felt tears prick your eyes. “I-It really fucking hurts.” You murmured and took the step forward to get to him. He immediately caught you, one hand on the back of your head while he wrapped his arm around you. 

“Okay…” He whispered against the top of your head before letting out a sigh. “I know, honey.” You could hear his own emotion in his tone peek through as he held you close. 

You try to take a deep breath and push through the pain. You move his hand past your hair that’s pulled back and put it on your neck. “P-Pressure there helps.” You muttered against his chest as you feel him do a firm squeeze and he nodded. 

“Okay sweetheart, I’m going to need you to start listing off things for me.” He said moving his mouth closer to your ear, his beard poking at your scalp. You shook your head, but he gave his hand on your arm a squeeze. “I know you don’t want to, but it does help.” His thumb tapped on the back of your neck. “You know it does.” He whispered as he let out his own breath against your head. It was silent for a moment before he started talking again. 

“Can you name five things you see for me?” He muttered right above your ear. “Or name three at least.” He kept one hand on the back of your neck with the pressure you asked for while his other started to rub your back. 

“I-I can’t..” You choked out against his chest with a shake of your head, you were trying to breath deeply but you couldn’t. He cut you off, “Yes, you can…breath with me.” You felt him take a breath in, after a moment you followed. Then let it out a few seconds later with him. You breathed in again before you started talking. 

“Your scrub shirt….your jacket….your badge….your shoes and my shoes.” 

It took a minute, but you finally listed off five things while taking shaky deep breaths. You felt his right hand that was rubbing your back gently squeeze your arm before going back to your back.

“Good…now four things you can touch.” He muttered softly into your ear. 

“Um, the zipper on your jacket…your stethoscope…my own hand, uh and my forehead is currently touching your shirt so..” 

You felt him let out a small chuckle above you. Your breathing was starting to go back normal no matter how much you hated listing off things. 

“Yeah, that’s good sweetheart.” It was silent for a moment. You moved your left hand to mess with his zipper. You proceeded with the next sense on the list without him needing to say it. 

“I-I can hear the faint ringing in my ears, your heartbeat, and the loudness outside those doors.” 

You heard him mutter another “good” as he hummed in acknowledgment. You took in a breath as you remembered what caused you to get to this moment before letting it out. As if he knew what you were thinking he stepped in.

“Don’t go there, c’mon you’re doing good honey.” He gave your neck a gentle squeeze to ground you again. 

“Okay, uh I can smell the stuff they used to clean the room, and the butterscotch candy or whatever you had on your breath.” That got a laugh out of yourself, knowing those little candies keep him sane throughout the day. 

He laughed with you and squeezed your arm again. “I don’t taste anything right now.” You muttered against his chest. You started to feel the ache in your chest dissipate as you could control your breathing again. 

Robby was starting to say something when he got interrupted by the sound of the door opening. The curtain was pulled back aggressively. “What the hell was that-“ Langdon yelled, but stopped as he saw you two. He wasn’t expecting Robby to be in here. 

And just like that the pain in your chest came back. You looked up from Robby’s chest the best you could with his hand still on your neck. At the same time, Robby turned his head to Langdon. 

“Langdon, what the fuck?” You said as you backed away from Robby. You bring a hand up to wipe your face. Robby’s hand slips from your neck, but he grabs your right wrist gentle, but firm still. “Woah, hey hey, you’re okay.” He said as he looked back at you, you’re still looking at Langdon. 

Langdon looks between you two with a look you can’t place before he puts his hands on his hips. “No, you what the fuck…-“ He’s quite for a second.  

“Gotta be an ass all day, then-“ You cut him off, fighting back in the same tone. 

“Oh fuck off, you’re always an ass-“ Your voice a bit raspy from crying. 

“Yeah well I’m not gonna have a freak out in front of a patient..” 

You choked out a huff before replying. “Are you fucking serious? Do you not realize the comments you make all the time in front of patients?”

Langdon continued his belittling towards you. “Now having an episode in the corner of a room that needs to be opened for new people while you-“ 

“ENOUGH.” Robby cuts him off with a yell. He’s dropped your wrist now as he moves his hands through his hair. Unfortunately, Langdon started up again after a minute trying to get his last jab in. “Had to have a self pity party in front of everyone, huh? Well it worked for a moment there, I did feel half bad for you.”

“Don’t.” You cut off, knowing how deep he’s going to stretch. “Don’t you fucking dare-“ Your eyes filled up with unwanted tears again as you looked at Langdon. 

“Until I found you schmoozing up on the boss.” You both flinched as a loud sound echoed through the room. Robby kicked his leg back, his foot hit the wheel of the gurney. Robby turns toward Langdon pointing to the door. 

“Get the fuck out, Langdon.” There was a moment of silence, except when you took a sharp inhale that could be heard. “Robby she-“ Langdon tried start up again, but was immediately cut off. 

“I said get the FUCK out, Frank.” Robby yelled this time fully serious. Langdon finally turned around and pulled the curtain back into place behind him as he left. 

You looked at Robby as he turned to look back at you. You had a bit of a surprised look on your face through the tears. He grabbed your wrist again as his voice became more softer now. 

“C’mere, you’re okay..” He pulled you towards him this time it was a full hug. You hesitate for a second before you put your arms around his waist. Your head was against his shoulder and you let out a breath. 

“There you go, baby.” He holds you tight, going back to rubbing your back as his other hand held the back of your head. “You’re okay, okay?” He muttered into your ear. You nodded after a moment. You felt his beard poke your forehead as he places a small kiss to your temple. 

“You were doing good earlier, honey. Can you list off one thing you remember saying for each of the senses for me?” Your breathing wasn’t as bad as before, but he was trying to get to a level of control again. 

“Um, I can see your jacket, feel your hold around me, hear your heartbeat, smell the room and I-I can’t taste anything.” You sniffle and let out a breath against his shoulder. You feel a little better now. You’re able to control yourself a bit now. 

“Good. That was good.” He replied softly, continuing to hold you. It was silent for a few minutes. You pulled back a bit to wipe your face. Looking up at him, you had the urge to apologize but you knew better not to. As if he read your mind, he nodded with a small smirk. 

“Um, thank you for helping me through my uh- episode, I guess” You didn’t know what else to call it so you used Langdons words. You looked away with a shrug, feeling a bit embarrassed now. “Don’t.” You heard Robby say seriously. You looked up at him confused. 

“Don’t call it that, ‘kay?” Both of his hands came and held the sides of your head. His thumbs gently caressed your cheeks as he wiped the remaining residue of your tears. You swallowed and nodded after a minute. If you weren’t flush before, you were now. "It's okay to break, you've seen me and hell even him. So please don't beat yourself up about it."

“I want you to take a 30 minute break, okay?” He said with a firm tone. You went to go say something, but he stopped you. “Ah uh, I don’t wanna hear it. You need a break to recharge, okay?” He took his hands away from you and pulled something from his pocket. 

“Eat this. I knew you weren’t already tired, but you’ll be more tired once your fight or flight crashes from the panic attack.” He handed you a protein bar, you smiled up at him. “Drink plenty of water too.” 

You let out a small laugh nodding. “Okay. Thank you, Robby.” You muttered softly as you looked at him seriously. 

“No problem, honey. Oh and tell you what? If you take the full 30 minutes, I’ll give you one of my Werther's you mentioned smelling earlier.” He smiled putting an arm around your shoulders as he lead you to the door. 

You laughed and nodded before pulling back the curtain. “Don’t worry, I know if I come back any earlier Dana will kick me out.” He squeezed your shoulder as you two shared another laugh. “Atta girl.” He said opening the glass door, leading you two out. 

“Thank you again.” You muttered turning a bit more towards him. He only nodded with a soft smile. “Come see me when you’re back.” He brought a hand to yours, giving a gently squeeze. 

“Will do.” You whispered in reply, trying to keep the convo between you two. Before you turned away, he pulled you towards him a finally time. Placing his right hand on the side of your head, he leaned down and gave your forehead a kiss. Then moving to your temple for a lingering one. 

You watched him hurry away as his name was called. You felt the heat rise on your neck. The weight of the protein bar in your still shaky hands made you snap out of it. 

You turned and headed off to the break room to take your first second with yourself today. The heat of lips and beard poking your skin still lingered on your forehead as you sat there eating his protein bar. 

———————————————————————————

It was later in the night, Michael was still in his study doing who knows what. You were in your room bored just listening to music. You were close to storming in there and bothering him but, you didn’t even know what to do to strike his nerves. 

My Man on Willpower by Sabrina Carpenter starts to play. 

You smile to yourself as a plan forms. You get up, heading into your closet to change quickly. Disconnecting your headphones from Bluetooth on your phone, the song plays out loud. After a final look in the mirror, you walk down the hallway quickly, the cold air hitting your skin as the song gives you a bit confidence. 

You stand in front of the double doors of his study taking a breath before smoothing down the dress you put on. You weren’t really one for dressing up, but you needed to see if this would get a reaction from him. You press the button on your phone to start the song over before opening the door and walking in. 

Michael was leaning against the small bar cart on the left side of his office, sipping on a glass of bourbon. His eyes were already on you. You could never surprise him even if you wanted to because he always knew when you were close. You smiled at him gently as you closed the door behind you. 

“Hi Mikey…” You greeted as you walked to his desk. Setting down your phone, you turned and started walking towards him. Once you reached him you put your hands on the cart behind him. Smiling up at him, you said hi again but more quietly. It was silent for a moment before he just said nothing and took a sip of his drink. Rolling your eyes, you backed away. 

“Anyway…you like..you like?” You asked as you looked down at yourself, gesturing with your hands at the dress. You left your hands out and did a slow turn to show him the whole thing before facing him again. 

“I got it at that small vintage boutique in town..” Muttering as you looked down at the dress again. You loved how the print was not so in your face and very subtle. You smoothed your hands over it again before tracing the small lace trimming around the neckline. “Got it for a good price too.” You said looking up at him with a wink and a smile. Still met with silence, you put your hands behind your back and waited. 

After a moment, you were still met with a stare and quietness. You got a bit embarrassed under his gaze, rocking on your heels and you focused on the lyrics in the background. At least he was looking at the dress right?!? Brushing off his silence, you hummed a quiet okay before walking towards him again. You started mouthing the lyrics as you get closer. 

“Can I return it?”

“Get back the version I like”

Grabbing his hand that doesn’t have the drink, you lace it with yours and sway to the beat. 

“My man on his willpower” 

“Is something I don’t understand” 

“He fell in love with self-restraint…now it’s getting out of hand.” As you mouth the words, you try to take the drink out of his hand. Surprisingly he lets you, and you put it on the cart behind him. Lacing his other hand with your free one, you move them up and down as he stands still. 

“He used to be literally obsessed with me” 

Using his hands, you pull yourself to lean in close to him. 

“I’m suddenly the least sought after girl in the land.” 

“Oh, my man on his willpower”- 

“C’mon Mikey…” You muttered as you moved your feet back and forth, doing the same with his arms. He continued to stand there and give you his normal emotionless expression as you hummed while moving. 

“He’s busy, he’s working” 

“He doesn’t have time for me” 

You fake a pout before moving his arms outwards.

“My slutty pajamas” 

“Not tempting him in the least” 

Even though it was a dress, you’ve worn a few pjs sets in the past that were a little too short and they did nothing. You sometimes didn’t mind it, you liked to tease him knowing he’s too hard headed for anything human. 

“What in the fucked up”

“Romantic dark comedy”

Letting go of his hands you use your fingers to crawl up chest while you make a face. 

“Is this nightmare lately.” 

“Yeah, okay, okay, he’s on his big journey to find”

You gently grab his cheeks and pull him down a little to look at you more. 

“A little zest of life, a new sense of purpose, but why?” 

You push his cheeks together with your thumbs a few times before he starts to pull away. 

“I’m right here, I’m waving” 

Booping his nose with your index finger before waving with your right hand. 

“The joke can be over now” 

You put your hands on his hips using them to lean up in his face for the next part. You brush the tip of your nose with his in time with the words as you smile through the lyrics. 

“You’re so silly, baby” 

“My man on his willpower”- 

You grabbed his hands again to dance like before as the song went on. After a minute, using his right hand to turn around before grabbing his hands again, you lean back against him putting his arms around you. You looked up at him with a small smirk. 

“He used to be literally obsessed with me”

After a minute you released yourself from his hold, and used your right hand to crawl up his chest again. Your left hand reached behind him for his glass as you got bold and leaned up to kiss his cheek. 

“Oh, my man on his willpower” 

“Is something I don’t under….”

You smirked and walked away with his glass of bourbon, and continued your little dancing as you walked to his desk. Sitting down in his chair, you put your heels up with you. You go to sip from the glass and look at him as you do. You watch his eyes drift between the small opening of your legs.

“Little bird…” He muttered with a strong tone. 

You wink before closing your legs, you spin yourself in chair once before setting down his drink. He walks over to you as the songs goes into an interlude, before going back to the words. 

“My man’s in touch with his emotions.” 

As he stands in front of you, you put your socked feet up on his thighs, gently tapping them with the beat.

“My man’s won’t touch with a 20 foot pole” 

“My man’s forgot his devotions” 

You didn’t get to say the next part as one of his hands was on your ankle. Gently pulling your right  leg off of him, it made you lose the balance in the chair. You were able to stabilize yourself before you could fall forward. You look up at him with a glare. He simply grabs his drink from the desk and tosses back the rest before setting it down again. He grabs your right wrist, pulling you up as the song ends. You thought he was going to drag you out but he just stared down at you with a small smirk. 

After a second, his left index finger goes under your chin. He gently scratches there for a moment before giving it a firm squeeze with this thumb. The next song starts to play, and he releases your chin and walks you back over to where you dancing before. 

“Shall we continue?” 

🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽

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back story ✨

You lived with him for awhile now, you knew who he was and what he did. You tried not to think about it too often especially when he was gone for hours at a time. 

You said yes to him eight months ago, almost nine. You didn’t really know if you were an experiment or what purpose you served other than just being around him. He gave you this home…it was older but you didn’t mind. The inside was restored recently. You figured he had done it as he always had everything planned. It was in the middle of nowhere though, but it was a beautiful home. It worked well for you and you knew it’s far better than something you would ever own.

You never asked how he could afford all of this of course though, you did wonder, but you knew better to ask questions. You felt like a house wife at times, doing what she pleases as her husband works away.  In the beginning, it took some getting used to not going to your job anymore and being in a new space with a…stranger. You did ask a lot of questions and bothered him constantly which led to a few moments of tension, but they soon faded. 

The small town near you seemed to know him. Of course you would get some looks because it was him…but he seemed well respected. You always wondered what he did to make that amount of people not be scared of him, but unfortunately deep down you think they are a bit scared to upset him. 

He was like your shadow always joining you when you went in town, even if it was just for some groceries. You talked to him the whole time though it was most definitely like talking to yourself, but you didn’t mind anymore. You were just glad to have someone to talk to, the life he took you from was boring. You didn’t have that many friends and didn’t mind it being that way, but when he found you, let’s just say life was very lonely at the time. 

Sometimes on the walks through town you got brave and held onto his arm or his wrist. He never said anything about it surprisingly. It somehow kept you grounded as you were running errands. Especially as the nights started to get darker faster, you didn’t like being out at night. It’s a funny thing to think about when you live with an Archangel now. 

When it would get lonely around the house, you would join him on his couch in his study. You found him there a lot actually just staring into fireplace with a bourbon in his hand. Or out on the small balcony right off of his study, looking at the night sky. Sometimes you sat and talked his ear off just because you liked pushing his buttons. Other times you sat just crocheting away listening to the song playing on the record player. 

Some nights he would join you, he sat in the chair by the window either staring into nothing or surprisingly watching whatever you had on the tv. You didn’t take it personally when you caught him staring off. You knew he was either in thought or projecting himself elsewhere. 

On the rare nights when he didn’t join you, you found it hard to sleep. Thinking back to the early days when he would watch you sleep like he was curious about something. It had you regretting saying yes some nights as it disturbed you but now it was an odd comfort. You hated yourself  for it, but life hasn’t been normal for months now so you gave yourself some grace. 

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🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽🪽

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He hasn’t joined for you for a few nights. You only caught sight of him when you would wake up a few times, but in the morning he’s gone back in his study practically ignoring you so you gave him his space. Unfortunately it made you uneasy, you wondered what you did or said like you could somehow hurt his feelings. He didn’t have those, you told yourself multiple times but deep down you knew it was a lie. He had to have some sort of feeling sometimes, you thought to yourself.

The lack of communication and little moments stirred up something inside of you. You were in a rut too, back in hole you dug yourself out of months ago just back in a day. You decided that you gave him plenty of time to himself. Getting out of bed, you grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around yourself knowing he’s probably on the balcony with the cooler temps at night. 

Taking a breath and wiping your face, you peaked into his office, just a few small lamps on making the space moody. Shutting the door behind you, you walked over to the balcony doors. One of the doors was already cracked and you knew he would have already sense you getting closer. Stepping out onto the balcony, you wrap the blanket tighter around you as the wind hits you. You stare at him as he sits like always staring out into the sky but this time no drink. 

You give it a minute or two but he never acknowledges you. Sighing, you take the fews steps over to him and stand in between his legs. His left leg just barely moved out of your way meaning that he was still here, he wasn’t projecting himself elsewhere. It upset you even more that he was ignore your presence, but at the same time, that you even care what he thought about. 

Rolling your eyes, you take a seat with a huff, your butt on his left thigh as your legs dangle over the other side of the chair. You moved his right arm ever so stiffly over your legs. You adjusted the blanket to your liking, making yourself comfortable. You leaned yourself against him, nudging your nose into his neck a bit. You felt him tense even more beneath you….like always but his aura that constantly surrounded him felt safe. 

It probably shouldn’t have given, who he is but you couldn’t help yourself sink into him. The anxiousness from earlier crawling up your spine as the safety around you made it break. You didn’t really like to show this much emotion around him but you didn’t care in the moment. Letting out a small breath, the tears fell silently as you hit your breaking point again today. 

You knew he could feel the switch in your emotions, but he still didn’t acknowledge it. 

You traced his fingers with your index finger as you tried to calm down. You started to feel a bit embarrassed that you wanted to be comforted by him. You should have known better that it wouldn’t happen. Wiping your face with one hand, you let out a breath as you swung your legs off of the chair and to the ground. You held the blanket around you as you stood up. 

You grunted as the air got knocked out of your lungs. Suddenly you were back in his lap again….in the same exact position you were before. You hated when he did that on the rare occasion because  it always startled you. Looking up at him with a small glare, you realized he’s finally looking at you with just the slightest of smirk before looking away. 

He let out a sigh that also sounded like a low hum. “Little bird…” He muttered under his breath. You froze, you haven’t heard that nickname in days. You felt a tingle go up your spine before you felt his left hand begin to caress the side of your face. His thumb moving back and forth ever so slowly just before your ear. 

“Michael…” You began to whisper but stopped not knowing what to say. He began to relax, moving to lean back into the chair more so it was comfortable for you. The movement caused you to lean your side on him again. His left hand gently moved your head towards his shoulder. You just barely felt the stubble on his cheek touch your forehead. 

“Shhh..” He murmured softly, but it was like his voice echoed through your head. You nodded slightly after a minute and tried to relax against him. You thought back to when he finally explained why that was your nickname. 

“You remind me of one of those birds in the morning that won’t be quiet and disturbs the peace.” 

It hurt you at first but eventually you shook it off and began to like the name. At least he thought about you enough to give you one…right? Especially the days when he was a lot calmer…and not so tensed up he would exchange ‘little’ for ‘sweet’. Maybe he did have a little soft spot for you in his barely there heart. You’re taken back to the present moment you heard him mutter something. “What?” You asked pulling back from his shoulder a bit. 

“Sleep….your body is running on fumes.” Making a small sound of annoyance, you lay your head back against his shoulder. “I can’t….Michael.” You said, sighing to yourself. Your right hand found his tie and began to mess with it as you thought. “Why do you think I’m here?” You muttered out in defeat, hating to admit that you do need him. 

After a minute of silence he hummed lowly, left hand moving to your arm that was covered by the blanket. “I’m here now…aren’t I?” You choked out a small laugh as emotions crawled up your throat again. His thumb in his left hand tapped your arm for a minute before going back to subtly moving.  “Sleep..” He muttered again as his head turned more against the top of your forehead. 

“Okay..” You replied and wiped your face for a final time, smiling to yourself slightly. Michael was a man of few words. It always seemed so weird for someone with high intelligence like him, but you loved his sassy replies. Especially with how many years- decades he’s lived. However you closed your eyes and listened to him. 

The energy around you seem to change to a much more calmer buzz. It was slowly lullabying you to sleep, like being in your own bubble of nothing. The turmoil inside you dissipated slowly, your breathing going deeper each minute. You barely felt his hand adjust the blanket around your neck so the cold wind wouldn’t affect you. You focused on him….just him and his energy as you fell into a deep sleep. 

Michael held you like that for an hour before deciding to bring you in so the cold front didn’t make you sick. He picked you easily, instead of laying you in your bed like he should have, he chose to keep you close so you could stay asleep. Yes…that’s what he told himself as he sat down in front of the fireplace in his study. You in the same position in his lap just in a warmer space now. He sighed and stared into the fire like he did every other night but kept his thoughts close. Turning his head closer to your forehead again to make sure you were warm….

“Sweet bird…”