captain of the jonty ship

You know, I think this Christmas thing is not as tricky as it seems! But why should they have all the fun? It should belong to anyone! Not anyone, in fact, but me! Why, I could make a Christmas tree! And there’s not a reason I can find, I couldn’t have a Christmastime! I bet I could improve it, too! And that’s exactly what I’ll do!

Kim Novak as Madeleine Elster/Judy Barton in Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo, 1958

Popcorn or Nachos? Coke or Sprite? Salty or sweet popcorn? Are you sitting in the front rows or the back? 3D or classic? 

Meme. Meme? Okay.

Hey all my homies let’s do a little experiment, take this test and reblog with your score, age, and state/country in the tags. A passing score is 60% or 15/25 correct so let’s see who really has what it takes to be a citizen of the United States!

request for anonymous

“Wealth, beauty, and fame are transient. When those are gone, little is left except the need to be useful.”

i am zo much ‘appier now zat i’m dead. technically meessing. zoon to be presumed dead. gone. and my lazy, lying sheeting obleevious ‘usband vill go to preeson for my murder. donald trump took my pride and my deegnity and my ‘ope and my money. ‘e took and took from me until i no longer exeested. zat’s murder. let ze punishment fit ze crime. donald vill die. donald and melania vill be gone, but zen, ve never really exeested. donald loved a girl i vas pretending to be. “cool girl.” men alvays use zat, don’t zey? as zeir defining compliment? “she’s a cool girl.” cool girl ees ‘ot. cool girl ees game. cool girl ees fun. cool girl never gets angry at ‘er man. when i met donald trump, i knew ‘e wanted “cool girl.” and for ‘im, i’ll admit: i vas villing to try. i wax-streeped my pussy raw. i drank canned beer, vatching adam sandler movies. i ate cold pizza and remained a zize two. i blew ‘im, zemi-regularly. i lived in ze moment. i vas vucking game. i can’t zay i deedn’t enjoy zome of it. donald teased out in me zings i deedn’t know exeested. a lightness. a ‘umor. an ease. but i made ‘im smarter. sharper. i inspired ‘im to rise to my level. i forged ze man of my dreams. ve vere ‘appy pretending to be ozer people. ve vere the ‘appiest couple ve knew. and vat’s ze point of being togezzer if you are not ze ‘appiest? but donald got lazy. ‘e became someone i deed not agree to marry. ‘e actually expected me to love him uncondeetionally. zen ‘e dragged me, penniless, to ze vite house. you zink i’d let him destroy me and end up ‘appier zan ever? no vucking vay. ‘e doesn’t get to ween. my cute, charming, zalt-of-ze-earz upper east side guy. ‘e needed to learn. grown-ups vork for zings. grown-ups pay. grown-ups zuffer consequences.

Letting this person become your president will be the biggest mistake of the century.