I love life. Everything is so beautiful and everyone is so pretty. I'm in love with it all
AnasAbdin
YOU ARE THE REASON

blake kathryn
hello vonnie
Keni

Andulka
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
$LAYYYTER
Today's Document
will byers stan first human second

⁂

Cosmic Funnies
trying on a metaphor
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
almost home

Kiana Khansmith

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

Discoholic 🪩

seen from Malaysia
seen from Romania

seen from China
seen from Philippines
seen from United States

seen from South Korea
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Norway
seen from Philippines
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United States
@deadnautilus
I love life. Everything is so beautiful and everyone is so pretty. I'm in love with it all

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“but what if you abort the baby who’ll cure cancer?!” sir the baby who will cure cancer is an organic chemistry major who works at a Home Depot because you use AI to go through your resumes
"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops." - Stephen Jay Gould, The Panda's Thumb: More Reflections in Natural History
I hate being attracted to people :(
It makes me feel gross and weird. It also triggers weird nihilistic thoughts such as: Attracted to a girl that's unavailable -> brain tells me i am clearly inferior in every way to her Bf (if she has one) or that I'm a creep.
Attracted to a guy -> dammit, my ex was right about me, I'm a fruitcake in denial Attracted to a girl, that is available, and that likes me back? congrats buddy you did an objectification. And she's too good for you. And you would make her unhappy. Get back in the hole -> Girl I don't like is attracted to me somehow? -> Guess I'm ungrateful callous monster. Can't decide if I like a person? guess I'm leading them on and manipulating them.
On another note, being hesitant about dating someone because you think you can "do better" is such a horrible thing. I don't know if anyone else does this or just me. I know it's materialistic and the antithesis of everything that Love is supposed to be but I'm scared to commit to another relationship because I don't want to upset or dissapoint people because they'll hate me and tell all their friends that I'm a shitty partner and a useless slob.
Anyway how are you guys doing? Any plans this weekend?
Also I heard antidepressents can reduce libido maybe I should do that. Or meditate like a buhddist monk or something. Ideally I should get my shit together and not have these cognitive distortions. Maybe CBT is in my future.
The aliens told me that listening to "I'm not a tsundere" song is the real definition of masculinity, everything else is just accsessory

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
This is so silly but I'm watching a short video essay on sincerity in cinema and the creator is talking about how he watched Lord of the Rings for the first time at 17. He explains that he'd grown so used to the 'ironic' meta style commentary in the movies of the 2010's that as he was watching the opening narration of LotR, he spent the entire time waiting for the joke to come. For someone to take it all back with a zinger line. He listened to Blanchett describe and explain the backstory, and he waited for the other comedic shoe to drop.
And he kept doing it. Scene after scene.
He spent the film expecting someone to make a joke about how unserious things were or to break the fourth wall or do some other self referential type thing.
Now, maybe I'm just at that point in my cycle or maybe I'm too delicate in general, but I literally teared up hearing that. Straight up cried a bit. It is so fucking sad that sincerity and genuineness is being bred out of people.
People say all the time 'this generation can't take anything seriously!' and really, is it any wonder? Younger people have been trained out of it. You are no longer encouraged to be genuine or show emotion or be honest. You are actively punished for it. In fact, you are almost guaranteed to suffer for it.
That is so fucked up. I'm sorry to go on a bit of a random ramble rant but it's so fucking gut wrenching to see younger people lose that element of themselves. You can't express your passion without being told you're 'crashing out' or 'cringe'. You have to live in this neutral state of fear of perception, and god forbid anybody step outside of it!
You're told you should only consume and succumb and be ironic and emotionless and cool.
Listen, if you're following me and you're like.... 25 or under, let's say. Please. I beg of you. Do not fall for this rhetoric. Please, for the love of all things, feel. Feel and create and be honest with yourself. Indulge in things that make you happy. Be sincere. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Do not let this hyper-capitalistic, hyper-consumerist, self-centred, individualist culture take that from you.
Bleed yourself into the work you create. Live. Don't fucking let anyone tell you different.
The Amazing digital circus IPOD EDITION
That's right, I managed to get episode 8 running at a good framerate (with audio!) on a rockbox 4-gigabyte storage 2nd generation ipod Nano.
Feast your eyes on the smallest screening of TADC you will ever see >:]
Jax getting electrocuted on a 1.5 inch screen (diagonal)
The Amazing digital circus IPOD EDITION
That's right, I managed to get episode 8 running at a good framerate (with audio!) on a rockbox 4-gigabyte storage 2nd generation ipod Nano.
Feast your eyes on the smallest screening of TADC you will ever see >:]
Me: my god.. i did it.. i killed him..!
Angel on my shoulder: we're extremely fortunate. You shot him in the side of the head and you're wearing gloves. Place the gun in his hand and set the house ablaze. Officer Goger's tragic suicide will be the perfect cover story
Devil on my shoulder: Goger was always eating stuffing and spelt wheat and steel cut oats. Bet he'd taste reeeeal good on a spit with an apple in his mouth. Come on, i've seen the way you've looked at him..
My tulpa, a 6'9" DD smokeshow hottie PS1 graphics anthro leopard girl in a lab coat: you must put a baby in me Your Highness, quickly!
My favourite tumblr post of all time btw. You can just feel the liberated creative spirit, unbound by normative social conventions (second fave is the "you cannot kill me in a way that matters" mushroom post)
i think that other people have access to an Energy source that i don’t but that’s okay i’m happy for them i do wish that was me though
It's stimulants and break downs and lashing out at people

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted
If you use Firefox, you can go to the about:config page, search for "media.mediasource.enabled" and double click on it to set it to false. After you restart Firefox, all youtube videos will load entirely even when paused! This also affects other streaming websites :)
There's more to do actually, now
go to About:config find media.mediasource.enabled and toggle it to false find media.cache_readahead_limit and change it to 9999 find media.cache_resume_threshold and change it to 9999
additionally if you'd prefer mp4 to webm
also in about:config, find: media.encoder.webm.enabled media.mediasource.webm.audio.enabled media.mediasource.webm.enabled media.webm.enabled and toggle them all to false
note! this will limit video to 1080p
and use https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/dont-accept-webp/ to kill WebP Fuck Google
We jailbreaking browsers now lmao
*me working in the insides of a machine* shush, I need to focus, this is very intimate- I mean intimate- I mean intimate- I mean intimate- I mean intricate.
Actually, you are enough. Even if you don’t work. Or study. Or go out. Or have friends. Or have family. You’re enough because you exist and your existence is enough to be enough because you are not a product. You are not a sum of output. You are not a task to complete. But because you are something the universe wanted and put here even if you’ll never understand why. Somewhere in the cosmos your existence makes a difference, even if it’s not the way others existences do.
Psycho-analysing nightmares
I keep having nightmares about being shot be people. Sometimes I daydream about it. I probably read the news too much. It's crazy because I live in the UK, we have no guns. And I'm an 18 yr old geek with no criminal ties. I think it's just the exam stress getting to me. Or hormones. It's hard to say what's caused by biology vs lived experience. I choose to believe that it's not my biology causing these nightmares. I just need to reduce stress in my real life, which will hopefully improve my dreams too.
Turning 18 and the urge to act out
minor warning: I am an insecure weirdo and this is my personal venting blog. Feel free to comment, any advice would be appreciated. God knows I need it. I turned 18 last week. yay, I can vote and stuff. I still feel exactly the same. Recently I've been thinking about abusing substances. I genuinely feel like the control group of the rat park study, without the park. Just a cage. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park) Honestly I am proud of myself for resisting the urge to go out and buy cigarrettes and alchohol. Partly because drinking alone is just depressing. I spent last year wishing I'd get invited to parties by the "cool kids™" (like cinderella going to the ball) so I can engage in drinking, sex, homosexual anything, smoking and whatever else my parents would dissaprove of. It was quite pathetic. To bo honest I don't even want to do those activities that much, I just hate feeling like I'm missing out. Or maybe It's the loneliness that causes this FOMO feeling. Now that I'm 18, Do I feel like an adult? Nope, here's why; I have >no driving license >no job (I can barely keep up with schoolwork) >don't go clubbing (I would hate it) (but I wish someone would invite me) >low grades (studying is so hard) (but it's the only thing I have going for me) Oh also I'm chopped and my heart is full of spite. Anyway being 18 is still the same as being a hormonal insecure 17 year old except now you feel even more inadequate. When I see what people have accomplished at 18 it drives me up the wall. I wanted to play guitar ever since I was 10 but I'm a quitter and I quit several times and I can't play guitar and other people my age can and I hate myself for it. I was a quitter when it came to riding a bike or learning to swim too. I did manage to learn those in the end.
Atleast I'm bilingual, that's one thing I have going for me. Although I've never managed to fit in with the french, my accent is too obviously english and I don't understand the gen z slang. I really hope that things get better. Sometimes I feel great, like I could fight god, and other times I feel like `this'. All mushy and sad. I hope the way I'm feeling is normal. I just want people to like me. And no matter how hard I pretend to not care about how I'm percieved, I can't ignore this consuming desire to be liked. That's why I'm still attending prom. I'm hoping that, maybe, people will say they will miss me. i hope i've had as big an imact on my classmates as they've had on me. That being said, I am a hypocrite for being socially distant for 1yr and hoping people give a shit about me. Anyone else 18 and feel like a massive loser? :/ I just REALLY want to be accepted man. I feel like I don't belong sometimes. WHY is it so DIFFICULT to be satisfied, I'm having a million thoughts at once and it makes me feel sick.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Wasting Saturdays
I am wasting my Saturday afternoon away. I don't want to study. It's ridiculous really, because I know that my grades need to be higher, and I need to study to increase them. However I feel a sort of apathy towards it all. Sometimes I sit and read a book, drink my tea, watch the clouds and all of a sudden the thought of work disgusts me. As if everything will magically be ok. Or maybe I am disgusted by my own procrastination. Either way, here I am. Wasting away another Saturday :')
Dostoevsky was right. I am destroying myself for nothing.
Like we have commodified human connection to a degree where if you go beyond smalltalk you're oversharing and if you talk too deeply about your life you're traumadumping and if you get visibly upset you're manipulative and if you care too much you're codependent and if you want to talk about anything heavy you're expected to go hire a therapist because your friends shouldn't have to deal with that stuff and yet we're all sitting around wondering why so many people are lonely...
Looks like raising a few generations of kids without adults in their lives modeling healthy relationships of any kind because those adults were too busy trying to earn a fucking living was not the smartest thing we as a culture ever did.
Structuring our entire society on the idea that everything -- especially relationships -- is transactional wasn't a great idea either.
Oh, and rugged individualism? Never expressing vulnerability or needs because they will be used against you in the most hurtful way possible? Really fucking dumb.
Turning health -- mental health especially -- into a profit-driven marketplace was also deeply stupid.
On a personal note, It took me a long time to realise that loneliness is actually not "cool and mysterious" (massive cope on my part) and only worsens my mental health. Humans are a social species and I enjoy being around people, even if I am sometimes scared that they will use my moments of vulnerability against me.