Freedom and other Adventures

There's this common thread running through giant robot memes and "wizard war" shitposting and such where folks basically seem to be picturing mass armed conflict as a bunch of guys standing around on a flat, featureless plain pairing off into groups and taking turns throwing shit at each other. It's like our concept of war is informed entirely by jokes about 18th Century rifle infantry standing at opposite ends of a muddy field exchanging alternating volleys until one side or the other falls down.

This wizard war is fucked man. Enemy Geomancers snuck through our defenses and now our supply lines are non-Euclidean. We’ve been living off of beans from a month in the future cause that’s the only truck that’s made it through so far. We were in the middle of casting obfuscation wards on our FOV when a crow with glowing white eyes flew overhead and then a minute later everyone with an H in their name spontaneously combusted. My company is preparing something called Operation Blood Sacrifice. I gotta get out of here.

they probably cant love me back in a human or even mammalian sense, but my goldfish with their smooth pea-sized brain have learned to trust that i will make them better when they are sick. i feel like crying about this often

Maybe Princess the tarantula never had anything resembling what we as humans know as emotions, but she still came out of her burrow and up to the glass when we’d talk to her and used to stare at the drawing I’d tape to her terrarium. Maybe she couldn’t even comprehend what we were, but she knew we were there to take care of her. And even if she never showed that sort of curiosity or trust we’d still love her.

Idk if Munchie the praying mantis felt love for me, but I do know he trusted me enough to climb onto my hand when offered and was comfortable with allowing me to carry him places despite me being absolutely massive in comparison to him. So that's close enough in my book.

love wearing my fave “Drugs” shirt

gonna tell kids these are the X-Men

Did you step on it?

I forgot it was there & stepped on it, plummeting through the concealed trapdoor into the cellars. Please send help.

I can’t see anything! It’s pitch black down here. All that’s visible is my eyes.

Just make sure there isn’t a second, more dangerous pair of eyes somewhere around yours

Hey

Uh oh!!