Gang, I owe you an apology.
I was ignorant. Itās a complex topic. Not to mention my own very deeply internalized racism. From the moment I could understand I knew that my skin color somehow made me less than so I was very neutralized to racism. It just feels so regular that I just shrugged off things that are actually racist.
But now I see it and it makes me angry. Iām sick of people assuming that Iām white and Iām sick of āoh, you like watermelon donāt you?ā no I like pears.
I was ignorant, but I donāt appreciate being dog piled like that. I donāt appreciate people you follow going into my ask box and calling me slurs.
I guess back then since I was ignorant, I felt like my opinion was superior because Iām a black person. But no, Black people are racist towards themselves. I was racist towards myself. My parents had internalized racism. my grandparents suffered through Jim Crow. My great grandparents were slaves. It wasnāt that long ago and itās not going to be easy to break down that internalized racism.
But anyways onto the fandom stuff. There is a time and a place for edgy jokes. And it also depends on what those jokes are.
She made jokes about CP and incest and just a bunch of other stuff that is not great and I have thought it over and incest is not a hard limit. There is a time and a place for these type of jokes and itās not in public. And some jokes are just really insensitive and I honestly donāt know what to say about that. Itās really complex. I try to think of everything with nuance. but those jokes should not be made in public is something I know for sure. there are some things that you just canāt joke about and child abuse is definitely one of them. Maybe it was just a different time where that stuff was acceptable and thatās not an excuse because of course it was never really acceptable.
Iām sure if she made them in real life someone would punch her.
Yeah, yeah I know all of this is really jumbled and confusing, just like the inside of my brain. Itās really difficult for me to form my thoughts into sentences.
I really appreciate you though. Thank you for helping me see my own internalized racism, and how I minimize racism myself despite being black. I appreciate you for that a lot and again I apologize profusely. I hope you can understand that I was ignorant and not educated and blinded by my own internalized racism, but I have educated myself and I appreciate you for opening the gate for me to do that. I just hope that this stuff doesnāt bite me backā¦. Like I said, someone in my ask box called me a racial slur (it wasnāt even the N-word It was the C word that kind of sounds like raccoon but take the rac)
But like I said, I appreciate you and well itās going to take me a while to break down these walls that have been built up with internalized racism. I am getting a good start. Iām getting a great start and Iām going to be black and proud. Iām not going to hide that. Iām going to say when a joke upsets me. Being black and fandom surreal and Iām glad that people are speaking up about that and maybe I can do it too.
Again, Iām sorry for being ignorant, I was ignorant, I didnāt know the extent of the jokes that she made and actually kind of insane they were. Itās not only racism either. Itās incest and child abuse and icky stuff that has an unwritten rule that you donāt make jokes about those topics.
Again, I appreciate you man. Keep creating and keep being awesome.
you donāt even know how much this means to me, really Iām so glad I helped you with something like that. these words are really important to me because actually, when making these posts about Goose i was so nervous and anxious when thinking about how are people going to take this info. Iām genuinely sorry for being rude and making quick assumptions about you, this was a huge mistake and I admit it, I apologise for this a lot.
Also if you donāt mind, could you please dm me and tell me who has been going into ur ask box to call you slurs?? Iām genuinely unaware of thisā¹ļø
I accept your apology, Iām so glad I helped you with something as important as this.
Donāt be ashamed of being black, fandom spaces treat poc horribly and it hurts me seeing poc minimise themselves because of how much a lot of fandom spaces cater to racists.
Thank you so much for this and I deeply apologise for every single inconvenience I may have caused.
