Subby Bambi

Essential reading: "Sonja’s Guide to Gender Questioning"

This is an excellent resource. I'll quote a bit of it and leave the link.

"Questioning your gender identity–i.e. figuring out what your true gender identity is–comes down to learning enough about how gender actually works (rather than just how everyone assumes it works) and about how it affects trans people so that you can make a coherent assessment about how gender identity is playing out in your own life.

The first thing to learn is that gender identity is not the same as gender expression. That is, how your “soul” feels about itself is not necessarily the same as how your body looks, when it comes to the gender categories we’re familiar with. For purposes of this document, “soul” means only the innermost part of your mind that is your identity as a person, with no implications or connections to any religious use of the word.

In short: we grow up with a default cis-centric assumption that gender is one thing, that it is a monolithic phenomenon, dictated or governed by what kind of body you have. In actuality, gender is a dualistic phenomenon, composed of gender identity and gender expression, in which the inner gender identity is the part that determines whether you’re male or female irrespective of what kind of body you have."

Much more here. Educating yourself empowers you:

🌶💋🥰❤️🍷

❤️💋🌶❤️💓💋❤️🌶

Yes, you do know, sweetie! 🥰🤭💋

And I know plenty of other versions as well! 🤪

Self-actualization is the process of realizing and fulfilling one’s full potential, encompassing personal growth, authenticity, and the development of one’s abilities.

Self-Actualization in Transgender Women

'Self-actualization for transgender women often involves the process of integrating one’s authentic gender identity into all aspects of life, overcoming societal stigma, and reclaiming personal agency. This journey is shaped by both internal and external factors, including gender dysphoria, internalized transphobia, and social marginalization.

The Path to Self-Actualization

Research and lived narratives describe a gender trajectory from self-discovery to self-acceptance, which can be broken into stages:

Self-discovery: Recognizing and affirming one’s gender identity.

Disclosure: Sharing this identity with trusted individuals.

Socialization: Navigating societal reactions and building supportive networks.

Self-identification: Formally aligning one’s identity with legal, medical, and social records.

Self-acceptance: Living authentically without internal conflict.

Each stage can involve psychological trauma such as gender dysphoria, suppression of identity, and repeated stigmatization.

Overcoming Stigma and Dysphoria

Social stigma—negative attitudes and stereotypes toward gender nonconformity—can severely restrict opportunities and self-expression. For many transgender women, this stigma is compounded by gender dysphoria, which can lead to distress if not addressed through affirming support. Transitioning—whether medical, social, or both—can be a key step toward reducing dysphoria and aligning lived experience with identity.

Role of Support and Affirmation

Affirming environments, whether familial, community-based, or clinical, are critical. Gender-affirming therapy and supportive relationships help individuals shed cultural baggage rooted in transphobia and embrace their authentic selves. Personal narratives, such as those in memoirs and poetry, often highlight resilience, self-assertion, and the pursuit of dignity as central to self-actualization.'

This includes transwoman, too, of course, because transwoman ARE women. If you are giving transwoman less respect than cisgender women or you think that trans women are weaker than cisgender women, then you are a transphobe and that's just gross. Trans women are not some lesser form of woman.

These are pretty, yes? They're made for wearing out.

Adding only one size will sometimes work when it comes to converting for MTF trans girls. The fits can definitely vary by manufacturer but 1.5 is a good rule of thumb to add to your old size in those yucky shoes you used to wear. Note: It is common for transwomen to talk about how their feet 'shrink' after being on HRT. There isn't much science on it yet, but, from my experience and from talking to hundreds of trans women, I'd say that a half size reduction is not uncommon. (which is why, in the first sentence, I say that adding just one shoe size up sometimes works.)

Of course, the best way to know if the pair of shoes you have fallen in love with will fit just right is what? To try them on. Which means what? You're gonna have to go out to thrift stores and shoe stores and actually put them on and walk a bit to be sure. Unless you love returning things through the mail? Ha ha.

I know some fledgling trans girls are really scared to go out shopping but there is really nothing to be nervous about. It's your new life so you should celebrate and embrace it. You're just a woman looking at shoes now. I get why sissies are nervous because they are hiding a secret and it's written all over their faces but you, my friend, are a badass, confident trans woman and this is just part of your life. A walk in the park.

But if you're buying online add 1.5 and if you're transitioning and on HRT then maybe try just one size up.