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By David Glenn Cox There is an old show-biz adage which says, “Never go on after kids or animals.” And since the demise of late-night talk show hosts not inviting zoo directors anymore. So America remains ignorant about what happens when you try to mix animal and human affairs. If only they’d watched Johnny Carson, they’d know that elephant was about to piss all over the place. Or stick out his…

By David Glenn Cox The war is over! Or maybe not. But it could be. It might be. It all depends on who you ask. A Trump spokesman claimed the Strait of Hormuz was already half-way open. He didn’t specify which half. Here in Trumplandia, we listen very closely for all the pertinent details. It might mean you can sail half-way  in? Or it might mean, you might can sail half-way out. We have a foggy…

By David Glenn Cox The Ohio State University has settled its long-running molestation scandal case for $100 million. Jim Jordan can finally breathe a sigh of relief; it’s finally all over. The one-time Ohio State “locker room” coach. By the way, what exactly is a locker room coach? Do you work to train the room to do better each season? Give occasional pep talks to and listen to the room’s…

By David Glenn Cox OOP’S! This government of ours here in the land of religious freedom, was making its list of which religions it would recognize, support, and or theoretically bomb till extinction and declare all members as Narco terrorists. But oops! They inadvertently forgot someone. Oops! This is the Trump administration; how could they make such a terrible mistake as that? Well, I’m here…

By David Glenn Cox I’ve never been very interested in basketball. It’s the opposite of soccer for me. In soccer they play for an hour and the score is nothing to nothing. In basketball, they play for an hour, and the score is 119 to 119 with 35 seconds to play. If you love it, love it. I’m not here to rile you. I just wanted to say I  understand a drought. I was raised a Cubs fan while police…

By David Glenn Cox Maybe we could have a national lottery based on your best guess (without going over) of how many times Donald Trump says, “The Iranians are begging him to make a deal.” Standby, (cups earpiece) The director is telling me to be prepared. An announcement is due at any minute! (Three months later) It is one of Mr. Trump’s favorite and most repeated lies. Not since Mr. Trump…

By David Glenn Cox The subject is trivial; the principle important. As YouTube was running in the background of my life, while distracted, a video began to play extolling the greatness of Mark Lindsay and Paul Revere and the Raiders rock and roll band! Sure, you remember? Well, probably not. But the video told us how many times they appeared on TV (720) while the Beatles only appeared on a few…

By David Glenn Cox I see Mr. Trump is on his ketamine pony again trying to pedal us “clean coal” again. Travel by steamship! Take the California Sunset Limited! Everything is better by train! R.E.A. all the way! Trying to sell us a product whose time has clearly come and passed. It fits neatly with his tired, grumpy grandpa persona, who hates windmills, electric cars, and women reading the six…

By David Glenn Cox [HELP WANTED] Head important government FISA surveillance program involving national security and foreign espionage. No relevant experience required! Reimbursement for knee pads is available! Report to DJT. What could possibly go wrong? That’s going to be a tough sell to Congress as the midterms approach. Bill Pulte – Another BFOT (Banking Friend of Trump) But if you listen…

By David Glenn Cox I am eternally grateful to Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn for his landmark work, “The Gulag Archipelago.” The book was an education for me in how the Soviets operated their propaganda monopoly, and how the Russian people learned to deal with it. An article appeared in the newspaper one day announcing a new State sponsored Temperance movement! The Russian reads the article and says to…

By David Glenn Cox Someday, yes, someday, the public will view these events going on in New Jersey. Holding humans in cages in a dirty warehouse and not letting anyone in to check on them? Someday, we’ll see this event with clearer eyes, like we see Japanese Internment camps today or worse. Put them in a warehouse district! Ah, very clever. Where there’s not so many nosy Nancy types, asking…

By David Glenn Cox Attention: all rats desirous of leaving a sinking vessel…this way. What’s that old adage about the first one to the courthouse tells the most truth? The last one to the courthouse, goes to jail. It’s foreshadowing. Pam Bondi has a clean canvas and a palette filled with colorful stories, all about Todd. You can learn a lot from an exit interview. As you may remember, Ms. Pam…

By David Glenn Cox Oh man, Oman. It can best be described as spinning out of control. Knocking the cookies off the table but good, and scattering them everywhere. Taking nothing and making something worse out of it. First, the Iranians had suggested a joint partnership in tolling the Strait of Hormuz with Oman. Oman, as a long-time ally of the US, dutifully said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” to…

By David Glenn Cox Call it the path of Elon. An electric truck with a 500-mile range for only $40,000. He’s going to revolutionize the entire truck business! Delivered an electric truck with a 300-mile range on a pretty day with almost zero towing capacity for 70 + thousand to 100,000 dollars, that rusts. Brother Elon has a habit of over-promising and under-delivering. Remember? Hüsker Dü? Elon…

By David Glenn Cox Everything is good. Everything is great! Like Tony the tiger, there Grreat! The President defect left Walter Reed Army Hospital after having his brain measured. His schedule read, his Trumpiness was headed for a cabinet meeting held at Camp David. Donald Trump rarely uses Camp David. It’s too “rustic” and “warm.” It’s not the kind of ambience Mr. Trump prefers. He likes gold…

By David Glenn Cox This is your 72-hour peace is coming update. “It seems a great deal of progress has been made. We’re expecting an announcement at any moment now.” Then crickets. Sure, it’s a peace negotiation and stuff is up in the air. But once, twice, and now thrice? Big talk about nothing. You wouldn’t be whispering sweet nothings into Wall Street ear, would you? A prescription to soothe…

By David Glenn Cox The diplomatic language is purposeful and precise. Churchill gave Stalin a sword (Symbolism!) They gave Richard Nixon a cocker spaniel. (Symbolism!) President Xi gave Donald Trump a handful of rose seeds. (Symbolism!) It couldn’t have been any more insulting. Xi was referencing the bang-up decorating job the Trumps have done with the former White House Rose Garden. It was the…