aww my little knight??!

So I wanted to ask: What do you do when you feel bad about your writing and end up deleting fics because they don’t get the attention you hoped for? Because it feels wrong to say it out loud, but I do want comments. I want to talk to people about my fic. I want them to ask me about it, or tell me what they think, even if it’s critique.

I’ve been writing for GF and other fandoms, and I keep deleting my fics because it starts feeling pointless and embarrassing. Like shouting into the void and no one’s hearing it. But then I feel guilty for even caring about numbers or interaction in the first place.

How do you deal with that feeling? I don’t know.

i understand that feeling, and i know exactly where you’re coming from. what i want to say first is that it’s absolutely okay to want feedback on your fics, art, or whatever you post online.

even if we talk about writing strictly for ourselves, people are still social creatures. sharing something publicly already means you’re inviting others in. you’re sharing thoughts, emotions, interpretations, time and effort. it’s completely normal to hope someone meets you there.

fandom spaces, at least in my understanding, exist exactly for people going crazy about certain characters together. like. it’s a community where we share our own opinions, headcanons, favorite moments, edits, fics, art, memes, all of it, about the things we love. that’s just… how we bond with each other? so no, it’s not weird / embarrassing / bad to want conversation in a place literally built around shared obsession and shared joy.

something that also really matters when it comes to feedback is what phase a fandom is in. there are really popular, hyped fandoms that will always get way more interaction, and there are fandoms that are much quieter. every fandom has a golden era, and when it passes, people slowly move on, and that plays a huge role in lowering feedback.

a lot of the guilt around this comes from the idea that we’re supposed to be completely self-sufficient artists who don’t need anyone. but that’s kind of a lie. writing can be personal, i agree, but fandom writing is still relational. wanting comments or any kind of response isn’t something you should be ashamed of, i assure you. again, people are social, and we all want to find a place where we belong and feel appreciated. even if you’re introverted, it doesn’t erase the basic need for connection or acknowledgement. commenting and leaving feedback has always helped creators stay active in that fandom. it motivates people and makes them want to share more. i’ve seen a lot of authors leave fandoms because of the lack of interaction, and i understand them. it just wears you down over time.

as for deleting fics, i think it can be both a right and a wrong decision, depending on the situation.

it can feel right if that’s truly what you need. like if looking at that work only triggers you or makes you feel really bad, then it’s completely valid to want to get rid of it. but sometimes it also happens in the heat of emotions, and later you end up regretting it. i don’t really have exact advice here, because everyone copes with this differently and reacts in their own way.

i’d suggest waiting a bit before deleting. letting emotions cool down. speaking for experience, sometimes distance changes how a fic feels, and something that felt embarrassing today might feel neutral or even fond later. if not, deleting is still your right, after all it's your work.

about attention and numbers specifically, i think it helps to separate worth from visibility. a fic not getting comments doesn’t mean it didn’t matter. it often just means wrong timing /quiet fandom phase / busy months / people being tired, anxious or just silently consuming. a lot of readers are lurkers. some don’t know what to say but still care deeply. and i know i know, unfortunately, silence looks the same no matter the reason. but some readers genuinely don’t realise how much comments matter to writers or artists. ofc that doesn’t erase the hurt, but it does explain why the lack of response isn’t always about the quality of your work.

also what can help is lowering the pressure around posting. it’s okay to take breaks. it’s okay to step back from a fandom if it starts making you feel anxious or bad. fandom should be a place that gives you joy, not just drains you. if you're interested, you can join other fandoms, if not, that's okay too. you can also find friends among other writers by commenting on their fic first. sometimes authors notice you, and later check out your work too.

winter with Ford is snow-covered anomaly hunts where you trek through the woods. building snowmen until you smash a snowball in his face and he chases you. after all, he knows how to be funny. it's ice skating on frozen lakes, him holding your hands because you're wobbling, explaining the physics of ice while you're just trying not to fall. baking cookies shaped like anomalies and decorating them with way too much frosting. him making you hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows. sitting by the window during snowstorms, wrapped in the same blanket. making gingerbread houses. kissing under mistletoe he hung up.

spring with Stanley is stealing flowers from gardens at 3am because he saw you looking at them. impromptu picnics with gas station food spread out on his jacket in fields of wildflowers, him lying back with his hands behind his head, looking at clouds. teaching you to skip stones at the lake while he stands behind you and guides your throw. catching fireflies in jars like you're kids, letting them go and watching them drift away. driving with windows down and he picks dandelions at stoplights and tucks them behind your ear. dancing in parking lots to car radio, him spinning you around. running through spring rain and jumping in puddles, completely soaked, him kissing you against his car. planting flowers he'll never remember to water but he tries because you like them. flying cheap kites that crash immediately, wrestling in the grass trying to untangle string.

my girls, what happened :(

-geesecanon🪿

every single time i see one, my brain goes to Ford, because he would be deeply offended . just imagine reading one of those news out to him casually, laughing and watching him slowly lift his head from his journal, asking you again if he heard correctly ??

this would feel like a direct insult to years of real scientific work and failed experiments. he would take it personally, asking where the source is? who conducted the study? what journal it was published in? preparing to dismantle it piece by piece, and then realising there is no real source at all??

you’d be sitting there, listening him muttering about sample sizes and definitions and how that’s not even what the study would imply even if it were real !! the absolute audacity of publishing unchecked data !! while you’re trying not to laugh because you never meant to start some kind of philosophical discussion?? you just thought the headline was ridiculous. meanwhile it ruins his entire evening lmaoo my poor old man

🪽 anon

oh hey! i didn’t really step back from the fandom, i’m still here, just not interacting with a ton of content lately, so i think i completely missed whatever drama happened. idk what it was but :( i’m really sorry it’s been so weird on your end.

fandom should be fun, not stressful

oh sweetheart oh my god it’s so good to see you!! i’m so relieved to hear you’re finally done with surgery. i wanna wrap you in twelve blankets and hiss at anyone who comes near.

i’m really honored my little fics kept you company GOSH thank you sm! that last sentence is so fucking sweet im gonna cry…

I am giggling and kicking my feet !! AAAAAHHHHHH !!!

He is SUCH a bitch and it is 100% in the best way. So sassy and just, UGH I wanna chew on him!!

10000000% whimpers in bed, got no ass but hes still peggable imo I bet he'd cry

WHY IS HE SO BABYGIRL

ohhhh my goddd dear mutual WHY have i not seen a single fic about him from you then be honest !!!!???? /nf pos

like, him having a praise AND degradation kink and being an overall SIMP is literally canon and NOONE can convince me otherwise!

not even a request or anything, just a sweet little reminder that that version of stanford exists and he is deeply rooted to my heart 😛

(omg, also your work is literally so yummy, hehe)

ur so right about this, love. pathetic Ford is just. canon

Ford is the type to get hard just from you complimenting his research. you tell him his latest thesis is brilliant and he has to excuse himself because he's that starved for positive attention. this man has been isolated for decades and the second someone shows him genuine affection and praise he's gone. stammers through a thank you while adjusting his coat to hide how affected he is.

hehe, this man would literally finish just from you telling him he's doing well. like you could have him on his knees and just keep telling him how good he is, how smart, and he'd start begging for more praise and validation, getting increasingly desperate and incoherent. “please tell me i'm good, tell me i'm doing this right, am i making you happy, please“

but also the degradation side. OH YES U GET IT. i love Ford + degradation kink. yes he's brilliant but he's also been told his whole life he's too weird. or obsessive even. the cognitive dissonance of needing praise while also feeling unlike others. long story short: call him pathetic while he's falling apart and watch what happens. smth in his brain just clicks and he gets worse about it. starts agreeing with you “yes, yes i'm pathetic, i'm sorry, i can't help it”

fully agreed bout simp behavior cuz yeaa, this man do absolutely anything you asked without question. you mention wanting smth in passing and he's already working on getting it for you, building it for you, researching it obsessively. brings you weird artifacts and explains them in excessive detail because he wants to share everything with you, wants to IMPRESS you so badly.

he is the type to just stare at you when he thinks you're not looking. its canon bc i said so. he keeps a journal where he writes about you. smart observations at first that devolve into basically love letters and full pages of him just gushing about how perfect you are, how lucky he is.

he's definitely a mess. this man has been alone in the multiverse, so he's built up years of desperation, and finishes embarrassingly fast the first time and is mortified about it, apologising while you're trying to tell him it's fine. and then has an insane refractory period bc of course he does. ready to go again almost immediately bc he's been starved for this and now that he has it he's insatiable. wants to make up for lost time, to prove himself and to make you feel good.

in my own personal opinion, i always get the feeling Stan just can’t handle it when someone close to him is upset with him.

doesn’t matter what the argument was about, he won’t last. i headcanon he got punished a lot as a kid by Filbrick and grew up with thought of being a disappointment + fear of silence. and when people get offended, at least in my experience, we go quiet, right? so for Stan it’s the worst punishment in the universe. he’ll crack and apologise even if he wasn’t really at fault.

especially after the whole portal thing with Ford, when his brother fell through a portal right after they argued.

now Stan never wants a fight to end with someone walking away.

as for Ford, he loves to overthink so it means every conflict gets immediately shoved into the i will analyse this in excruciating detail for the next seventeen hours folder. i guess, instead of apologising he kind of retreats into his skull. now he feels like he needs to process every possible variable before he opens his mouth again.

and he’s stubborn, he genuinely believes he’s being rational by waiting it out.

oh i like to think Stan’s the one who fucks dumb every damn time. he’d rail you until your brain’s dripping out your ears and then complain about his back while still going in for another round