I poured all my love into him, yet he let me sink beneath it. I endured a one-sided relationship, realizing it was never truly love. The intimacy we shared was more about desire than genuine emotion, while my feelings were deeply authentic.
I was so naive, blind to the truth. My devotion and commitment led to heartache, leaving me damaged and silenced. I allowed myself to dwell in a toxic environment without recognizing the harm it caused.
Oh, how I long to break free from this cycle of the past. I yearn to return to that carefree version of myself, unburdened by worries and stress, embracing my inner child.
Since childhood and especially after that relationship, I've become overly cautious about my surroundings. Trust has become elusive; I shut down and block out memories, trying to numb myself to avoid pain. I distract myself with anything that helps me forget, seeking a sense of security.
Facing my own emotions is a challenge. I struggle to accept that it’s okay to cry, to laugh, to joke, and to love again. I fear that if I become too attached, I’ll only end up hurt once more. I crave affection, even the smallest touch, and companionship, yet I hesitate to risk it—at least not now.
I can’t allow myself to feel more valuable than I am at this moment. I refuse to let myself drown in love again, no matter how much I desire that warmth and affection, which feels foreign to me.
I give love, yet I sometimes push it away—it's strange, isn’t it? My flaws are unique but can feel toxic, and I prefer to keep them hidden. I try to keep my tears out of sight.
But am I going about this all wrong? Am I certain or uncertain about my deepest desires? Am I even in touch with what I truly want?
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
prguitarman
annaxmalina
2087
