Reflective Thoughtsā¦
I was an idiot for turning a blind eyes and ignoring the signs.
You never threatened me or raised your voice but unfortunately for me⦠I learned to put my guard up a little too late.
I grew scared of guys like you and what you could do.
It was always about you and your needs even if it was going against things I didnāt please.
But hey at the time all I could do was freeze and look down with tears streaming down my face as you put me in my place and took me from behind.
I got nothing out of it but you got your joy using me as your own personal toy.
Now when I cry itās from the inner pain I hold inside and try to avoid everyday because if I gave in Iād be engulfed in darkness everyday of my life.
Now when I cry and mourn itās for the girl I couldāve been if I never met you. Itās for the me that had some innocence and hope left before we.
I gave all of me to you and now it hurts to know that you were my first so I quench this hatred in me with something that stings and helps me be numb (Even if only for a bit)
Seeing you and thinking about it all always makes me sick.
Being touched certain ways still makes me twitch.
















