"The Doctor. Doctor. Fun."

a hoodie and underwear is all you really need to wear tbh

the fun part is trying to figure out what everyone in the notes’ real names are

whats that one fetish called where you and your partner mutually respect and care about each other very much

love

kinky! i like it

This is how lesbian arguments usually play out

#‘you’re not in trouble you’re my wife’ just cleared my skin and watered my crops and murdered woody allen  

THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO

hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!

It was a huge disappointment as a child to fall in love with the stars and then find out how much math it requires to get anywhere near them. 

Shoutout to everyone that had a dream career or ideal life but were roadblocked by math. 

THANK YOU

it’s not you….it’s your zodiac sign

My roommate from Beijing is fascinated by English expletives and is asking about the most offensive terms we have. I tried to explain the difference between insulting swear words and offensive slurs, and he was delighted by ‘asshole’, ‘motherfucker’, ‘bastard’, ‘dickhead’, and ‘shithead’. Explaining slurs without using any proved to be difficult, as he just tried to insult me by saying, “You are a big slur!”

I told him that he can combine different words to make new ones and he just pointed at me and said, “Fuck you, you son of shit-sucker! You loser!” 

“In China, we say ‘fuck your mom, fuck your ancestors, fuck your parents, fuck everyone… but we don’t say ‘fuck yourself’. I love that! In America, you can fuck anyone, even yourself!”

welcome to the land of opportunity, my brother. Please, sit down. Relax. Go fuck yourself.