But what else could you have done?

You had only been eighteen measly years old, after all, a babe in the grand scheme of things, suddenly thrust into reality as a dull blade might be through flesh and bone.

(Messily, and with a staggering amount of force).

Though, you certainly felt rather unlike the blade in that analogy, and far more so like the flesh...

Nevertheless, you'd persisted. Done what you'd had to in order to preserve your sanity and the livelihood of the man you'd loved.

Perhaps still did, not that it mattered.

Fred was long gone, you had made sure of it that night in the astronomy tower the evening before he and his brother, your once closest friend, had made their daring escape from the hell that had been Hogwarts at that time.

You'd shattered the poor boy's heart after three and a half years of love and adoration, all to preserve his dreams.

Shame you'd done all you could to ensure he'd never know it.

"Please love, I don't understand."

He'd plead, dexterous fingers running through mussed up ginger locks as he paced back and forth about the room you were both stood in.

You'd only just barely resisted the urge to say it was all a joke then, desperate to reach out and feel him one more time, to fix the hairs that had sprung up all about his head as a result of his restless ministrations.

But you hadn't. You couldn't.

Things would be better, you knew, if you just stayed away.

You'd retreated further out of his grasp to keep yourself from holding him not long after the urge had arose. The look in his eyes, pained and confused, was enough to tear your heart in two, though you supposed that it was thirds if you really thought about it.

You would miss George, after all. What was a girl to do without her best friend, especially in times such as these?

"I'm sorry, Fred."

You said resolutely, not feeling nearly as certain as you'd sounded in that moment.

"I just- I can't deal with the distance, nor the strain of it all. There's far too much for me to worry about here, I can't risk stretching myself too thin worrying to death over you and your brother."

That much was true, you supposed, though in the end he'd never really know the half of it. That you couldn't risk stretching yourself too thin because of just how much was about to change, and because it would mean harming another to do so.

You had far more than just yourself to think about now.

In response to your words, your boyfriend stared at you as if you'd grown a second head, beautiful brown eyes wide and teary as he pulled a shaking, uncertain breath in through his parted lips.

"This can't be happening."

He'd whispered, a humorless laugh leaving his mouth and echoing throughout the mostly empty space, nearly making you shudder.

"Merlin Y/n, just last night you were cracking jokes about me taking your surname instead of the other way around. We spoke of a home, domestic dinner parties, Godric, even names for our bloody children!"

He'd exclaimed, hands flying up into their air as you'd watched on sorrowfully, recalling the very conversations he was speaking of.

You'd certainly take his thoughts from them into consideration when you-

"Lords woman, you're wearing a promise ring! This isn't some summer fling you can just toss aside with no warning, we've a whole future planned together!"

He sounded near hysterical now, confusion melding with panic to rob him of reason even in the darkened halls of the astronomy tower, and you'd shuddered to think of what Umbridge would do if she found out the two of you were up there at such an hour.

It was hardly negligible to risk yourself harm anymore, you simply couldn't resolve to allow things to continue any further.

And so, you hadn't.

"Fred, I'm sorry."

You began, lower lip wobbling in a way you hoped he couldn't make out despite the feigned certainty present in your tone.

"But I've made up my mind. We're destined to take life on two very different paths, you and I, and I can't let myself pretend this makes sense for even another moment. I love you far too much to allow this to persist and risk hurting you further."

And with that, you were gone, leaving the love of your life behind to wonder what on earth had gone wrong.

You hadn't seen Fred since then, at least not as far as you were aware, avoiding every event he could possibly turn up at within reason...

Though, avoiding his family, that had proven to be a far more difficult task, particularly whilst you'd been attending Hogwarts with them after the twins had taken their leave, your relationship all but flown away with them.

It turned out though, that pregnancy was easy enough to hide as long as no one looked too close at your poorly maintained glamour charm.

Or, at least it had been for the first few weeks or so...

But then, much to your utter horror (and great surprise) you'd been informed that your darling ex boyfriend had been so kind as to leave you with not just one child to care for in his absence, but two.

It would seem that twins did indeed run in the family.

After that discovery, your glamour charms had taken a lot more effort, focus, and intention.

Graduation, you'd found, could not come soon enough.

And though you had "celebrated" alone, your notably small family wanting little to do with their soon to be teen parent of a daughter, it had felt like your first real victory since your decision to leave Fred had left a gaping hole in the center of your heart.

Perhaps it was possible to keep moving forward after all, if you could make it through several months of schooling at Hogwarts whilst pregnant with twins you would undoubtedly be raising on your own...

Though, truly, not even that could have prepared you for a moment such as this one, because far more than you had ever seen before, Molly Weasley was furious.

She was doing a good enough job of hiding it, but you'd long since learned the meaning of her flaring nostrils, darting gaze, and shifting fingertips, which busied themselves with her wand as casually as she could manage.

You reckoned you were rather lucky she hadn't hexed you yet, judging by how upset she looked.

And, reasonably, you supposed she had every right to be.

After all, it had only been three short years since you had broken her son's heart high up in the astronomy tower at that school you had once so happily called home, yet now you were standing in the same doctor's office waiting room together, one of you with a bruised ankle, and the other with a baby carriage in hand.

And as much as you wished it to be so, it seemed the universe had no intention of switching your positions. It was you with the stroller, and she with the injury, though you were certain you'd be obtaining one soon if the older woman standing before you didn't get the answers she was doubtless looking for.

"Y/n,"

She greeted far too sweetly, her eyebrow twitching ever so slightly below her hairline as her eyes swept over the blanket covered stroller parked in front of you,

"It's lovely to see you. How have you been?"

The question was meant to sound polite, you were sure of it, but the undertone was clear:

"I could have gone my entire life without seeing you again."

It resolved.

"And exactly who did you deem worthy enough to start a family with so soon after breaking Freddie's heart?"

It interrogated.

You scarcely managed to hold back a shudder in response, your smile nervous in spite of your best efforts.

Time had whittled away at your ability to hide how you were feeling, it seemed, since you had last needed to do so during your breakup with Fred.

What a shame, you really could have used that right about now.

"Mrs. Weasley."

You greeted, all but flinching when you nearly said her name instead purely out of habit.

You could scarcely remember the last time you'd had to call the woman by such a formal title, but you supposed you'd lost the right to address her differently the moment you'd thrown Fred's surname back in his face that night in the astronomy tower.

"I've been well. And you?"

Your response was far more submissive to the older woman's intimidation than you'd perhaps intended it to be, but even so, your persistent and undying respect for her won out in the end. It was strange, truly, to consider the woman you'd once very nearly called Mum an enemy.

Molly hummed dismissively in response to your words, brushing off your question with a wave of her hand,

"Oh I've been just the same as always, nothing much to speak of I'm afraid."

She sighed out with faux regret, fixing you with a look of marked interest as she continued,

"But you,"

She said eagerly,

"It would seem that you've been rather busy as of late."

At that, she gestured toward the stroller sat in front of you, and you blanched slightly at the idea of her getting a decent look at its contents.

Molly smiled once more, still far too politely for your comfort,

"Who's the little one, then?"

She coaxed, immediately forcing a short burst of nervous laughter from deep inside your chest.

Once you'd officially regained control of yourself though, you smiled just as politely as she (albeit with an apologetic edge) before replying.

"Little ones, I'm afraid."

You joked, never quite able to stop yourself from trying to make light of a stressful situation.

"Winnifred and Augustine, or, far more popularly, Winnie and August. They're-"

"Twins." Molly finished before you could even get the word out, her eyes widening slightly in surprise, "Yours?"

You nodded slowly, and the woman smiled ever so slightly for the first time since you'd come into view.

"Oh my, my condolences then." She teased, reaching forward to grasp at the blanket that concealed the precious cargo napping away within, doubtless tired after their long day full of bickering back and forth with one another.

She looked up at you then, seemingly unaware of the growing fear in your eyes as you suddenly realized what was about to happen.

"May I?"

She asked, though you could tell from the tone she took that it was far more of a formality than an actual question.

Such was the problem with older women, you'd found - They scarcely seem to bother actually asking your thoughts in regards to them seeing your children.

But this? This certainly could not persist, not if you hoped to-

Without pausing to hear an answer you knew she'd never had any intention of waiting for, Molly Weasley gently tugged at the fabric that had been draped across the front of the carriage, ignoring your nervous sputtering as you tried desperately to find the right words to say.

Unfortunately, they never came.

Forgotten, the blanket that had once hidden your beloved children away from the world fluttered to the ground, and Molly Weasley stared, stock still, at the sight before her.

There, blinking blearily up at the bright lights of the waiting room she was stood in, was a set of twins so familiar that it made her heart skip a beat inside her chest.

Soft ginger hair adorned both of their heads, and delicate freckles far too similar to those she had once threatened to kiss off the faces of her own children decorated their cheeks like stars doubtlessly chock full of constellations just waiting to be found.

But somehow, the feature that caused her the most pause was the eyes of the little ones sitting before her, deep brown and shining in the white overhead lighting of a doctor's office that suddenly felt far too cramped for the feelings she was struggling to maintain control over.

Those eyes bore a striking resemblance to her twins, and somehow even one in particular, one that she knew you were quite familiar with, as things went.

Her gaze darted back up to seek your own, and the moment she found it and saw the overwhelming guilt and fear there, she knew, and her breath caught briefly in her throat.

"Y/n dear,"

She spoke after a few moments of increasingly tense silence, the low chatter of the witches and wizards around you seemingly reduced to nothing as the sound of your own racing heartbeat drowned them out with ease.

Molly reached out to you then, slowly and gingerly, as if you were some wild animal she feared might dart away at any moment.

And truth be told, you very nearly felt like one too, especially as the following question left your almost former mother in law's lips,

"What is their surname?"

And immediately, you shook your head, far too overwhelmed with the situation at hand to handle any of it properly.

Years and years of fleeing in fear of this exact moment had done you no favors in preparing for it, and your shaking hands and tear filled eyes betrayed that fact with an embarrassing level of evidence.

"Oh Molly,"

You begged softly, using the woman's given name for the first time in years,

"Please don't ask me that. I promise you don't want me to say-"

"Winnifred and Augustine Weasley?"

A nurse called out hesitantly to the sea of patients located in the waiting room, her eyes trained briefly on the clipboard in front of her as if to double check her words before she looked back up curiously, gaze sweeping back and forth throughout the space, seeking out the two toddlers scheduled with Dr. Hathaway for the 2:00pm slot.

You felt your heart constrict painfully inside your chest as Molly's hand flew to her mouth, her once so certain fingers trembling as the truth of the matter washed over her like a freezing winter squall.

And, ever the coward when it came to family matters such as this, you were quick to clear your throat, doing your best to hide your red rimmed eyes and tear tracked cheeks before waving your hand slightly to the nurse who was still looking anxiously about the waiting area.

"They're just here. Apologies for the delay, I must have misheard you."

Though, from the positively dread filled look on your face, Molly Weasley could tell you had not.

Calling you sheltered and naïve behind your back, and you would ignore the comments when they inevitably came back to you. Ignoring the blossoming pain in your chest, as Carlos would claim, he never said those things.

You had to stand on the sidelines as he got girlfriend after girlfriend, pushing you aside whenever a new relationship rolled into his life. Only for him to ask you to help pick up the pieces once it all fell to the floor. Usually by his own volition. It all felt so humiliating, and yet, a few choice words and promises you thought he would actually make good on this time, and you would have forgiveness ready for him on a plate.

The tabloids claimed he had a loyalty issue, and that he couldn't keep it in his pants. And he would poke at you, begging you to defend him and his honour, because he swore it was just a matter of misunderstandings. How foolish you looked, defending the man you loved in front of thousands of eyes, hoping that maybe this time. He would finally realise you would be the right one for him. That you wouldn't leave, that you could treat him so good. If only he would let you.

Blissful ignorance kept you in the dark. While you considered Carlos your best friend, closest confidant, practically your everything. As your life had begun to revolve solely around his. Carlos on the other hand barely considered you a part of his life, when he didn't need something from you. As the years passed by, he needed you less and less, your usefulness was drying up in his eyes. He had no qualms about simply stringing you along for the few times you did prove to be of help.

He had never used you for your name, not until your brother stopped socialising with Carlos. Then it had seemed all bets were off the table. Your brother could barely take hearing Carlos's name without having a visceral reaction. He wasn't blind, he knew that Carlos was using his younger sister, but he also didn't care enough to interfere. You had stated to him so clearly that Carlos was your best friend, and what could your brother really do when you seemed to be swimming in your delusions? Your brother was forced to stand on the sidelines until you would start drowning, so he could finally pull you out, and go I told you so.

There was no saviour to pull you out of your predicament, only yourself.

Your dad has always liked to parade Carlos around when given the chance, to events he would make you talk Carlos into attending. The type of events where your dad bought his tickets into everything. Sure he had made it big once, but that was before you were born, and now his biggest investment was Carlos. You didn’t mind these events, it meant having Carlos all to yourself for a few moments after. It meant having him tell you that you’re pretty in your dress, even though he would say that no matter what you wore. Your last name was painted on his jacket as he was paraded around by your dad. 

It was always the same, the same empty words filling your ears, that sweet and devilish smile that had made you fall for him all those years ago. It was unanswered text messages and poor excuses without any apologies. It was knowing his voicemail by heart, for that was most of the time you spent on the phone hearing his voice. That tiny snippet of a prerecorded message. 

◦━⇜━❈━⇝━◦

Your patience was starting to wear thin, as your heavy heart barely moved around Carlos. The flutters you had once felt, had all seemed to slowly be replaced with the hurt that was filling your body. The way he would repeatedly stand you up, disappoint you, lie to your face. You knew you were the fool, but having to face it before felt too terrifying. But now, it no longer felt as scary as it used to.

Not when he showed up at your door, asking for shelter because a girl was sleeping in his apartment, and his girlfriend didn't know about it, and he didn't want to be there when that went down.

"No." You found yourself sighing, the disappointment filling you, as he once again was only breaking his weeks of silence since his newest relationship started. All to ask you to cover for him.

"What do you mean no?" Carlos is perplexed, you never say no to him. "I promise I'll take you out to dinner later, and you can wear that-"

"No Carlos." You could feel a headache coming in, or maybe it showed up when Carlos knocked on your door, and you just hadn't noticed it till now.

"C'mon it's just a little thing, just go over there and say you were borrowing my place with your friend." Carlos leaned close into your face, a move that always seemed to make you feel weak, but now you just felt utterly uncomfortable. "Baby, Hermosa, you know I love you, come on, help me out here."

You pulled back, watching the man in front of you, he seemed kind of pathetic when he was propped up against your door like that. You knew if he kept going you would crack.

"No, I- Carlos no. You need to tell me, you need to say those words like you mean them. You need to convince me, that you aren't just repeating the same thing you've done 100 times over." You tell him, you actually tell him.

"Hermosa! You can't ask this of me, you're my best friend." Carlos is grasping at any strand that might help him.

"Your best friend?" You sigh, "Your best friend?! I was such a fool, I've never been your best friend. You've always been mine, but I've never been your best friend. You've always been my highest priority, and I know I can't change that. I'm not even sure if I want to change that. But I can't take it anymore Carlos. Go home. Go home, Carlos."

You knew you were about to cry, but fuck, you weren't going to do it in front of him. You weren't going to give him the luxury of calming you down, and then try to pass it off as an intimate moment later.

"Go home, Carlos." You repeat.

"But Hermosa, I am home." Carlos tried, and you knew your tears were falling. Even now, even in your own home, he was lying to you, telling you the words you wanted to hear.

But you will not fall for them. You promised yourself you wouldn't fall for them.

Carlos reached out to try to wipe your tears away. Instead, your hand smacked his gesture away.

"Go Carlos, go home."

"Hermo-..." He stopped himself. Collecting himself, he bore a look you could never forget, one of indifference. He looked at you like you truly didn't matter to him. "You get to explain to your dad what happened yourself."

And with those words, Carlos turned around. Sauntering out of your apartment, as though his longest friendship hadn't just been broken up, no he sauntered away as though someone had told him his favourite candy at the shop was sold out.

Carlos didn't even close your front door. 

The door was still ajar by the time you realised he wasn’t coming back. Carlos left. Carlos wasn’t coming back. He had truly left you for good.

You closed the door slowly, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. The weight on your shoulders seemed to lift, and you realised that you had been carrying the burden of unrequited love for far too long. A flash of envy took over, how unfair it felt to be left in the mess. Even as he had walked out your door. You would still have to be the one to make up for it all. Dread filled your stomach as you knew your dad would come to question you once the news reached his ears. 

◦━⇜━❈━⇝━◦

In the following days, you spent your time throwing yourself the greatest pity party you could. A well-deserved one in your own mind, a constant checking of your phone, hoping, praying Carlos would reach out. You spent countless hours trying to convince yourself that he hadn’t looked at you like that, that he hadn’t looked at you like you truly didn’t matter to him. 

The questions from your dad were the worst. It was official now. Carlos was not to be a part of your life anymore. His personal assistant had told your dad all about the falling out, well Carlos’s version of your falling out. A tale spun from the most vicious lies, the type of story you would have once defended. The type you had put your name on the line for, was now directed at you.

Humiliation bitterly coated your mouth, as your dad chided you for making Carlos feel suffocated.

Why you couldn’t have done what the great racer just wanted?

Why did you have to go and ruin his great investment?

Then came concerned glances from friends who knew how entangled you were with Carlos. You kept your composure, explaining that things between you two had changed and that you needed space. It felt horrible to watch as the people you thought cared for you, slowly seemed to chip away with each “I’m so sorry to hear.” The way these people would turn around and spread whatever they could, all for a grasp of recognition. Milking the situation for the last bit of fame they could get from you.

The whispers reached your brother's ears, and he offered a supportive shoulder, a mix of sympathy and "I told you so." You appreciated the comfort, even if it came with a hint of vindication. The irony in his offer shining bright, he sat across the world, and you both knew neither of you would make the trip to see the other. You weren’t close like that, in fact, you were barely close enough to exchange gifts for birthdays. 

As if the world wasn’t caving in beneath you already, his teammate had texted you. Charles Leclerc himself had texted you. It made you feel mental. 

Charles Leclerc: Hey... It’s Charles. I don’t know if you have my number saved. I hope this isn't too forward. I heard about what happened with Carlos, and I just wanted to check-in. If you're not comfortable talking, I completely understand.

The text from Charles surprised you, a glimmer of unexpected support in the aftermath of your break with Carlos. You hesitated before responding, unsure of the dynamics at play and Charles's true intentions. Why would he text you? Why did he think you would have deleted his number? You know, the only reason the two of you ever swapped numbers was because of a night out last year. You think you could count your meetings with the Monegasque on one hand.

Your fingers finally worked up the courage to reply.

You: Hi, I do have your number saved. Thank you for reaching out. Yeah… It has been a lot. But why are you texting me?

The three bobbles popped up as your mind started running through all types of scenarios. From him telling you that Carlos should have walked away from you sooner, to asking if you were sure you couldn’t forgive Carlos.

Charles Leclerc: I get it if you're sceptical. But I've seen how Carlos treated you, and I felt like someone should offer support. If you're not comfortable with me, I totally understand.

His honesty surprised you, softening your initial reservations. You decided it was worth it to test the waters a bit more.

You: I appreciate the offer. But why now? Why not when I was at the races with you and Carlos was... well, Carlos?

You hesitated before hitting send, wondering if your bluntness was too much. There was a pause before Charles replied, as if he was carefully choosing his words.

Charles Leclerc: I guess I've been questioning a lot of things lately. I overheard Carlos complaining about having to play nice with your dad, and it rubbed me the wrong way. It made me realise I should've reached out sooner.

You had left him on read for half a day after that message, it had felt like a slap in the face. Even in your misery, your last name seems to be so much more important than you. It had hurt, and then you had texted him in annoyance one last time before bed. You even promised yourself you didn’t want to spend more energy on race car drivers. 

You: It’s been a mess.

A short, simple message. That neat brief text perfectly summed up all you needed to say. Except then, you had woken up to a reply from Charles. 

Charles Leclerc: If you ever feel like talking, or even if you just need a distraction, I'm here. No pressure, seriously.

It's possible that you weren't done with race car drivers. Your resolve had never been the strongest, and you did have a long list of poor decisions. You tried to rationalise with yourself, what would adding one more to that last really do for you?

You had found yourself texting Charles a lot more than you had thought you would. It surprised you how eager he seemed to respond. There was no waiting for three days for a response. He rarely left you on read without acknowledging he had at least read your message. You couldn’t find any fault with the charming Monegasque, so it was self-evident when you accepted his proposal to get coffee together. 

◦━⇜━❈━⇝━◦

The coffee meetup with Charles turned out to be ‌easygoing. Both of you approached the conversation with a degree of caution, but as minutes turned into hours, the conversation flowed naturally. It started with light banter, a shared laughter over amusing anecdotes, and gradually evolved into more personal topics. Then he finally breached the topic. 

“What happened between you and Carlos?” Charles didn’t smile. Instead, he looked at you seriously, a drastic change from the man who had just told you he still gets lost at most race circuits. 

It was as if the floodgates had opened, you spilt everything that had happened between you and Carlos. When your brother had brought Carlos to meet your dad for the first time. How you thought it was love at first sight upon seeing the Spaniard. To the skiing trip where you had lodged with Carlos alone for 2 entire weeks, and how you two had bonded and really connected. How he became your best friend after that. Then you admitted to having let Carlos string you along for years because every time he would leave you crumbs, feeding your delusions that one day you two would end up together. How it took years of disappointment and broken promises for you to finally muster up the courage to tell him to get out of your life.

“I’m so sorry-” You cut Charles off. 

“I really don’t want to hear those words right now.” You had told him, a saddened smile on your lips. “Don’t apologise on behalf of someone who never will.”

Charles reached out across the table, putting his hand on top of yours. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. His silent display of support had been more than Carlos had ever shown you. 

After that meeting, all the hesitation that had lingered in the corners of your minds seemed to seep away. Slowly but surely, Charles had become a constant in your life, in every sense of the word. He was there for you. He would send a good morning text, and you would send a picture of the sunrise. You would ask for recipe ideas, and he would send back the most horrid creations of his that he thought counted as good food. 

He had snuck his way into seemingly every part of your life, bleeding into your daily routine, as though he had always been a part of it. Charles even made you start watching a show you had written off as not being for you, and yet he had been correct. You had been so absorbed you binged the first two seasons in a weekend.  

◦━⇜━❈━⇝━◦

Then came the travels, Charles asked you if you had ever been to Monaco and seen the place for what it was beyond the track. You had experienced the waters from a yacht once, Carlos had rented one and insisted you went with him because he wanted his best friend to be there with him. What a lie it had turned out to be. He had used you as an excuse to tell the press the other people on the yacht were your mutual friends. And that no, he didn’t cheat on his girlfriend at the time. How could he? You had even backed up his statement. What a fool you used to be. 

Flying to Monaco had been a pleasant experience, a first-class ticket your dad had paid for, under the pretence you would bring up his name to Charles. 

Despite your constant texting with him, this was the first time since the coffee meet-up you had seen Charles, and suddenly 8 months seemed like such a long time. You shot him a quick text after you landed. 

Charles🏎️: I’m waiting for you :)

His eyes were brighter than you remembered, in a way a camera could never truly capture. His white button-up sleeves had been rolled up, and a few buttons undone at the top. He looked the part of the rich Monegasque that he was. 

“Hi…” you breathed. 

“Hey…” he responded. 

“You look…” You trailed off, not knowing what to say, what could you even say in a situation like this. 

Then a smile spread across his face, and just when you thought he couldn’t get any more handsome, your heart skipped a beat. “Handsome? Dashing? Might I even suggest breathtaking?” His laugh was so pure, and you knew you were threading dangerous territory as you watched his arms flex. Charles was making easy work of getting your suitcase in the trunk of his Ferrari. 

“Is that a Stradale?” You reached out for the handle. 

“Wait!” Charles closed the trunk and rushed over, flashing you a smile as he opened the door for you. “And yes it is, I never took you for being a car person.”

You slipped into the supercar, smiling up at him. “Well, you pick up a few things when your friends are Ferrari drivers.”

His penthouse was stunning. You recognised the view from a few of the pictures he had sent you over the last months. The interior decoration oozed with Charles’ personality in a way you had never expected it to. You would admit, you forgot Charles was probably significantly richer than you took him for. So used to only seeing him in his tracksuit, or that casual black t-shirt he had worn for your coffee meet-up. The image that had burned itself into your mind. He made even a simple outfit look so… You didn’t want to continue that sentence. 

Charles took you out to eat that evening, promising he would give you a personalised tour of the city the day after. And he did just that.

First, in broad daylight, he pointed out places he had been when he was growing up, places he liked to eat now, and then the small cafe. The one he had texted you about. Where he had made you promise not to tell his dietician that he shared an ice cream dessert with you. 

Then, as the night had come creeping up on you two, he had taken you for a walk around the track, horrified to learn you had never accompanied Carlos on a track walk before. Even an unofficial one, like you two were doing now. 

His hand brushed against yours as you walked around the track. Your mood was light, trying not to savour the few times Charles bumped his shoulder into yours. All in the attempt that you would look at him instead of the road markings. You wished he would just grab your hand, for you don’t think you would have let his go. You don’t think you could even let Charles go. 

The thought soured your mood, and it seemed Charles picked up on it. Unaware of why, you had a frown on your face, and you regretted so badly not to have given him an excuse. The shoulder bumping and hands brushing against each other seemed to stop for the night, despite the way both of your voices carried chipper tones. 

◦━⇜━❈━⇝━◦

Your fingers lightly brushed over the black finish of his grand piano. It was beautiful. Far above any piano you had ever played before. You gracefully slipped onto the bench, flipping up the cover, as you marvelled at the keys. Unaware Charles had come to join you.

“Do you play?” A simple question, and yet you think Charles had more intrigue in that one question than Carlos had ever had during your entire friendship. 

“I’m a trust fund baby, of course, I can play.” You told him your fingers danced across the bright white keys, your eyes fixed on the keys as the music filled the room. Charles took it as his queue to sit down beside you, his body pressed up against yours. 

A sharp tone cut through the tranquil melody. Expecting Charles to chastise you for the simple mistake, instead, he laughed as you stopped playing. When you turned your head to look at him, you finally realised just how close the two of you were.

“You play a lot better than I expected a trust fund baby to.” His smile was truly blinding, you slowly retracted your hands to yourself, as Charles placed his fingers on the keys. “I’ve made a few pieces myself. Don’t judge me too hard.”

“I could never judge you.” The words had left your mouth before you had realised you said them. 

Charles hummed in response, his shoulder lightly pressed against yours. You pressed right back up against him. 

The first few notes came floating from the piano, his fingers mesmerising you as they danced across the keys. He was far more elegant than you could ever imagine yourself being. The melody made your body feel warm, he had captivated you completely. Wasn’t there anything this man could do? One of the greatest race car drivers of his generation, an exceptional pianist, and not to mention… You couldn’t deny it much longer, he was truly handsome. 

As the music drew you further in, your head rested against his shoulder, and Charles said nothing. Instead, he kept playing and playing and playing, one piece flowing right into the next one. You weren’t aware of how much time had passed. Completely lost in the moment, lost in Charles. You didn’t realise when you had closed your eyes, all too absorbed in the comfort Charles seemed to radiate here at his piano. 

“I can’t have you fall asleep on me now.” His voice gently brought you out of the trance. You wanted to dispute his words, but he had been right. If he had kept playing. You would probably have slept up against him, not that you would have minded. 

You slowly opened your eyes, shifting your head slightly. His eyes were already looking at yours. Your breath hitched. 

Had his eyes always been this green?

You barely noticed how he had moved his hands from the piano, not until one of them gently graced your chin. He looked so peaceful, so content, as though this was all that mattered to him. As though you were all that mattered to him. 

“Can I?” He whispered.

“Please.” You replied. 

Then your eyes shut closed, as you felt his soft lips on yours. The kiss was slow and passionate. Charles was the first to pull away, and your eyes fluttered open. Anxious thoughts were quick to enter your head, he was going to say it’s a mistake. 

Instead, Charles simply threw a leg over the bench, so he could pull you closer. Both his hands were quick to find your face once more. A carefree smile on his lips, the ones you just kissed.

“Chérie…” he breathed, before pulling you into him once more. This time the kiss was more desperate, and you mirror his sudden change in attitude. You craved him. You needed him. You wanted Charles with every inch of your body, and you wanted him to know it too. 

Waking up tangled in the Monegasque’s bedsheets, his arm lazily wrapped around your body, was nowhere in your vacation plans to his country, and yet it had been the best part. 

Peaceful times rarely last as long as people want them to. 

◦━⇜━❈━⇝━◦

Nearly a year of travelling back and forth to see Charles in Monaco, and him to you. Had made the two of you realise this was serious. It was blissful, and heaven. Your dad had even got to meet him, must against your better judgement, but Charles had managed himself fine and brushed off the need for your dad to sponsor him. He had stated a clear-cut need to not mix business with pleasure, and he planned to keep you around for as long as you would let him. 

Time always seems to stand still when you’re waiting for something. And right now you wished it would pass faster. You were waiting for Charles to call, he had told you to wait by the phone. But that was 5 minutes ago, and you know he’s busy. But it never made you any less nervous when he was late to call.

Cariño🏎️ is calling…

A sigh of relief flooded your body. His voice greeted you with an apology before launching right into what he wanted to talk about. 

“Chérie, come visit me next month. We can stay in Monza for a week, just the two of us.” Charles had pleaded with you. 

“But what will people say?” You asked him, as though you weren’t already thinking of what to pack to see your boyfriend. Wanting to look your best when you were to cheer him on from the side.

“Let them talk.” Charles laughed, “I know you’re already starting to pack.” 

“No, I am not!” You dropped the red dress you were holding in your hands. 

“Sure, Chérie.” He seemed to know you better than yourself some days, and you had never thought you would ever feel this way. And yet here he was, showing you day after day, that he loved you like no other. “We’ll talk later okay? I love you.”

“Love you too, Cariño.” You told him, as the phone line went dead. A small laugh escaped as two flight tickets and a hotel booking immediately popped up in your mail. He was well aware you could not stand to say no to his charm, and he loved it. 

As the car pulled up to the paddock, Charles clasped his hand around yours. You were wearing your best red dress. The one you knew gave Charles a hard time. You enjoyed his eyes on you, and Charles enjoyed having his eyes on you. 

The Grand Prix was only a few hours away. You had opted to stay at the hotel for Friday and Saturday. You didn’t want to cause unnecessary press to be directed at Charles. Ferrari appeared to already have that in their bag, judging from the sudden car issue during qualifying, which resulted in Charles starting from P14 on the grid. 

“It will be alright, Chérie.” Charles kissed the back of your hand. “I’ll be your knight in shiny red.” 

You laughed. He always seemed to know how to make your worries disappear and float away. “You’re too cheesy, Cariño.”

“And yet you love me.” 

“That I do.”

Then the car door went up, and Charles stepped out of the car, making a big show of helping you out of the car. Before offering his arm up for you to take. Your previous years of coming to the paddock had more than prepared you for the flashes of cameras and the screaming of fans. Charles took it all nonchalantly as well. Just another weekend, just another race. Expect the pictures would come to tell the story of a man so utterly in love, a far cry from his usual demeanour on the grid. 

Charles had no qualms about showing you off to anyone who would look at him. A hand constantly rested on your lower back, and he enjoyed your closeness. A small hint of protectiveness in the air, and you suddenly wished he showed his side of himself more. 

“Charles! And- oh hey, long time.” Max Verstappen was the first to approach the two of you. It slightly surprised you to have him remember you. You were never the big socialiser when you had been on the paddock before, but you suppose even after a few years certain faces stick around in others' memories. 

Max didn’t have more to say about you and Charles, rather he had started talking about the breaking zone in turn 6. Although you were clearly checked out for most of it, Charles never let go of you during the entire interaction. His hand never strayed from your lower back. He enjoyed your closeness, and he was going to soak in every single moment of it he could get. 

It wasn’t long before Charles got called away. Max took that as his queue to leave as well. 

“I’ll see you right before the race, Chérie.” He stole a quick kiss from you right in front of everyone before being led away. You didn’t know until after that those pictures were quick to make the rounds on social media. Neither were you aware of the fact that Carlos had seen the entire ordeal. His blood was boiling at the sight. 

Nearly two years of no contact, and the first time Carlos saw you, you were kissing his teammate. What a cruel joke. He didn’t even laugh. 

You made use of your time without Charles to wander down the grid, saying hi to a few of the engineers in the McLaren garage. Even exchanging hellos with Lando, albeit it was a short-lived conversation. He, like every other driver, was busy. You took in the paddock's atmosphere, realising to yourself you had missed this place. Or maybe you were just finally enjoying it for all of its worth. 

True to his promise, as Charles always was. Fully geared up in his tracksuit, and suddenly red had never been as pretty a colour. 

“Well thank you for calling me pretty, Chérie, although I will say, you’re the pretty one here,” Charles said, putting his hands on your waist. 

“I said that out loud.” 

“For everyone to hear, and I am flattered.” Charles teased you before he stole a quick peck on your lips. You lightly punched his chest, and he faked a look of hurt. 

“Good luck out there. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at him, stealing a kiss for yourself. 

“Well, I have to, since I have such a pretty one waiting for me.”

“Charles!” 

He laughed with you, before stealing one last kiss and hurrying over to his car. Reading up for the formation lap. The race itself was nothing special for the top 5, not that you would know. All too fixed on following the red car carrying your boyfriend. Who was fighting for his life to get anything useful out of starting P14. 

However, Charles soon ran into issues as he and Carlos had become P6 and P7. Carlos was refusing to let Charles overtake him. Despite Charles having a much better pace. The fighting continued for multiple laps, as the ones behind them started to catch up. Charles finally got an opening that was good enough for him to pass Carlos properly, but Carlos would not let it slide that easily. Defending hard against Charles, but ends up clipping the tire of the other Ferrari, sending Carlos into under-steer right out of the corner. Carlos lost 3 positions and was all the way back in P9. With Charles in P6. 

Charles overtakes twice more in the rest of the race. Landing him just out of the podium, and yet your pride for him is overflowing. Not hesitating to kiss him once Charles reaches you. 

“It’s just 4th place, Chérie.” He would say, and you would correct him. “It’s still better than 15 others.” Kissing him every time he would display any dissatisfaction about his ending result. 

◦━⇜━❈━⇝━◦

The media pen had gone easy on Charles in comparison to Carlos. While most had asked Charles about the small tire touching with his teammate, most were interested to hear if this 4th place could mean Ferrari was to get a podium soon. And then he answered some questions about you, confirming that he was no longer single and very much in a happy relationship. 

Some mercy might have been shown to Charles, but the same couldn't be said for Carlos. The Spaniard was already enraged before stepping into the media pen. Then he was thrown for the wolves to be torn apart. Question upon question about how he could have gone against team orders and not let Charles pass. How Carlos endangered both of the Ferrari drivers with his reckless and downright unnecessary defending. But then there was a question about you to finally snip his thin thread of patience. 

“How do you feel about seeing a familiar face on the paddock after the last 2 years?” The interviewer asked Carlos. 

“It seems anybody and everyone is welcome these days.” Carlos laughed disdainfully. “Even gold diggers and fame chasers.” The headlines were writing themselves after that interview. 

Formula 1 driver Carlos Sainz Jr. drags his sponsor's daughter in an interview.Carlos Sainz speaks out about his teammate dating his ex-friend.Sponsor pulls out of contract with Carlos Sainz Jr. after interview. 

It seemed even your dad had his limits. A surprise to you. Instead of bothering to call you about it himself, he let you find out from an article your brother sent you. Your brother had asked if you knew anything, and you had been honest about being as blindsided as he was. 

“What are you looking at, Chérie?” Charles kissed your shoulder as he leaned over the couch. You tilted your head back, as he leaned down to kiss your lips this time. 

“Dad pulled out of his sponsorship with Carlos.” You told him. 

“What?” Charles wandered around the couch, falling down beside you, he was quick to open his arms, and let you cuddle into him. 

“I know!” You showed him the article. You handed over your phone to Charles, as you settled into your favourite spot in the whole world. 

“Merde, he actually did.” Charles was in disbelief as much as you were. It was no secret your dad absolutely adored Carlos. Even after first, your brother fell out with him, and then you as well. Your dad had never strayed from putting Carlos on an absolute pedestal, his favourite child.

“Are you going to start walking around with my last name on your chest then, Cariño?” You snuggled closer into him, enjoying the warmth he was omitting. Your eyes closed in bliss, as Charles started carting his fingers through your hair. 

“I would much rather you took my last name, Chérie.” Charles kissed the top of your head. 

“Slow down there Romeo, my dad just broke up with Carlos, I don’t think he can take another earth-shattering situation within this year.” Your head resting against his chest, you were able to follow his heartbeat. You had always loved the sound of it, because his heart was truly beating for you. And Charles never let you doubt it for a second.  

⋗ a/n - thank you for reading this, a tremendous shout out to @thisismeracing and @pucksandpower for suffering through my obsession with all of this, and helping me through editing. And lastly, thank you to @toiletwipes for always telling me to keep writing and getting me back into proper fic writing

Her eyes, adorned with an air of confidence, locked onto Max, acknowledging his presence with a subtle yet unmistakable hint of curiosity. Bluntly scrutinising Max, she drank him up with her eyes, then she battered her long eyelashes a few times before slotting into the role of the perfect twin sister.

Max, a bit taken aback by the unexpected encounter, met Gabriella's gaze with a polite smile. That was all your sister needed before stepping forward, presenting her hand gracefully, a subtle gesture that belied the underlying power dynamics at play. Max, being the gentleman he was, reciprocated the greeting with a warm shake. However, as the customary exchange lingered for a moment longer than expected, you felt an unspoken tension building. 

“Gabriella, but you – my dear – can call me Gabbie.” Her voice sang in the foyer, bouncing so wonderfully off the walls. You wanted nothing more than to leave. Their hands were still intertwined. 

Instinctively, you began to withdraw your hand from his left, realising that you were caught in an awkward silence. Gabriella's grip on Max's hand tightened imperceptibly, and you hesitated for a split second, torn between asserting yourself and avoiding a confrontation. Finally, you reluctantly released Max's hand, a subtle concession that felt like surrender.

However, your parents made their grand entrance, drawn by the commotion in the foyer.

Gabriella finally let go of Max. She stepped back, allowing a brief respite from the charged exchange. 

Your mother, an elegant woman with an air of sophistication, approached with a warm smile. "Oh, there you all are! We were starting to wonder when you'd make it to the heart of the festivities."

As she spoke, her eyes lingered on Gabriella and Max, a subtle but knowing gleam in her eyes. It was as if she sensed the unspoken currents beneath the surface. Your father, a more reserved figure, stood beside her, observing the scene with a discerning gaze.

"Mom, Dad, this is Max," you introduced, trying to steer the conversation away from the palpable tension that lingered.

With an air of practised nonchalance, Gabriella returned her attention to Max, a playful smile gracing her lips. "Well, Max, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you," she purred, her words leaving an ambiguous trail of intentions.

She tried to grasp his hand once again, but instead, he started helping you out of your coat to keep his hands busy.

Max, still wanting to leave a good impression, responded with a friendly smile. "Likewise, Gabriella. Your sister here has spoken highly of you too," he said, casting a glance in your direction, before he extended a polite hand toward your parents, exchanging pleasantries as he tried to steer the conversation towards the two newcomers in the foyer. 

Gabriella subtly positioned herself beside him, a silent claim reaffirmed. The atmosphere remained charged, your parents seemingly ignorant of the intricate dynamics playing out before them. The dreadful feeling returned to you as your mom made eye contact with you once more. You averted your eyes.

Gabriella, seizing the opportunity, looped her arm through Max's, as if marking her territory. "Max, let me give you a tour of this magnificent place. There are so many things you haven't seen yet," she exclaimed, her tone holding a mixture of innocence and mischief.

Your heart sank as you watched them disappear into the lavish corridors of your family home.

“Let them go, honey. I’m sure he will be quite interested in our family’s history.” Your mother commented, foregoing the formality of any other type of recognition or greeting to you as she and your dad disappeared after Gabriella and Max.

Leaving you on your own in the opulent foyer, you wished to leave once more.

Determined to regain some semblance of composure, you wandered into the adjacent parlour, a room adorned with plush furniture and rich tapestries. The soft glow of antique lamps cast a warm ambience, but even the comforting setting couldn't dispel the growing unease. You settled into a chair, the plush upholstery offering little solace for the whirlwind of emotions swirling within. The room seemed to close in on you as you anxiously waited for Max and Gabriella to return. The dreadful feeling intensified with every passing moment, and your mind raced with unsettling thoughts.

Finally, the door swung open, and they entered the parlour. Gabriella's laughter echoed through the room. Max wore a polite smile, seemingly having enjoyed the tour, but you couldn't shake the feeling that Gabriella was orchestrating an elaborate performance.

"This place is quite… something," Max said, casting a glance in your direction as if seeking reassurance or acknowledgement. You tried to smile at him. Gabriella, however, continued to dominate the spotlight.

"We have quite the family history," she replied with a sly smile, her eyes flickering between Max and you. "It's a shame you won't be able to hear all the juicy details."

You forced another smile in response, but the unease gnawed at you. As they settled into the room, Gabriella strategically took the seat next to Max, her gestures and expressions aimed at enchanting him right before your eyes.

The conversation flowed effortlessly between them, a dance of words that excluded you from its rhythm. You felt like a mere observer in your own home, watching as Gabriella captivated Max with tales of the family's past, her laughter ringing like an enchanting melody.

Your attempts to engage in the conversation were met with fleeting glances as if your presence were an afterthought. Gabriella was ever so quick to recapture Max’s attention, despite your valiant efforts to seek a way into the discussion.

Desperate for a reprieve, you finally excused yourself under the pretence of attending to something in the kitchen. As you escaped the room, the weight of the evening bore down on you, and you couldn't shake the sinking feeling that this family gathering had become a stage for a performance in which you had no choice but to play a reluctant supporting role.

In the kitchen, you busied yourself with trivial tasks, the rhythmic clinking of dishes providing a brief respite from the orchestrated drama in the parlour. The tension that had followed you from the foyer to the parlour lingered like an unwelcome guest, and you desperately sought a moment of solitude to collect your thoughts.

As you absentmindedly stacked plates from the dishwasher, your mother entered the kitchen, her gaze lingering on you with a knowing expression. It was as if she could sense the turbulence beneath the composed facade you were desperately trying to maintain.

"Oh, dear, are you alright?" she inquired, her tone carrying a hint of concern.

You forced a smile, attempting to deflect the obvious discomfort. "I'm fine, just needed a moment away from the chatter in there."

Your mother's eyes softened, but there was a glint of curiosity. "Well, I must say, Gabriella and Max make quite the pair. They look so good together, don't you think?"

The question hung in the air, a subtle prod at the heart of the matter. You felt a knot tighten in your stomach as you processed the implications of your mother's words. It was a commentary that cut through the facade you were desperately trying to maintain.

"Oh, Mom, they're just chatting. It doesn't mean anything," you responded, attempting to downplay the situation.

Your mother, however, seemed undeterred. "I don't know, dear. They do seem to have a certain chemistry, don't you think? They'd make a handsome couple."

The weight of her words settled on you like an anvil, and you struggled to find a suitable response. The kitchen, for a brief moment, had been a sanctuary, but now felt like a confessional where you were forced to confront the complexities of your feelings.

"I...I don't know, Mom. It's just an introduction," you stammered, your attempts to maintain composure faltering.

Her gaze lingered on you for a moment, and then she sighed, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "You know, sometimes we find unexpected connections in the most peculiar places. And if they happen to find something special tonight, well, we should be happy for them, shouldn't we?"

You felt a surge of frustration and helplessness.

“It’s such a shame his looks just aren’t quite there, but he certainly has other features to make up for it. Wouldn’t you say so as well? Yes, a shame, but Gabriella has always been so kind-hearted. I’m sure she doesn’t mind either.” Your mother continued, before finally smiling at you. 

Her message was loud and clear, as she had expressed her approval of Max as a suitable match for Gabriella. 

Your mother wanted you to break up with Max and hand him over.

It was as though Max was a commodity to be exchanged, a possession for your sister to play with until she grew tired and moved on. It made you feel sick to the stomach. 

“Dinner is all ready, your father just put down the roast on the table.”

You followed your mother into the dining room, the scent of the roast filling the air. The grand table, adorned with fine china and polished silverware, became the stage for the next act in this familial drama.

As you took your seat, Max seated next to you, your parents strategically positioned Gabriella opposite Max. The tension in the room was palpable, and you couldn't shake the feeling that every word and gesture would be scrutinised.

"So, Max," your mother began, her eyes flickering between Max and Gabriella, "how did you find our home? Quite exquisite, isn't it?"

Max, thankfully pr-trained, nodded appreciatively. "It's a stunning place with so much history."

Gabriella's eyes gleamed with satisfaction, and you braced yourself for what would come next. Your mother, however, wasn't finished.

"And speaking of history," she continued, casting a pointed look at Gabriella, "our family has quite a rich one. Gabriella, why don't you share some of the highlights? Max might find it fascinating."

“It’s alright, I think I heard enough earlier,” Max told your mom, “I would much rather hear childhood stories about her.” He turned his head, making himself able to look into your eyes, and you felt the dread spread. Despite the way he looked at you, it did nothing to calm you down, knowing your parents would not deliver what Max was expecting to be told about.

Max's genuine interest in hearing about your childhood seemed to momentarily disrupt the carefully choreographed performance. Your mother, however, skilfully manoeuvred to maintain the narrative she had meticulously constructed.

"Oh, Max, you're sweet," your mother said, offering a polite smile, "but Gabriella's achievements are the true highlights. She's always been the shining star of our family."

Your sister, seizing the opportunity, began to regale Max with tales of her academic triumphs, artistic pursuits, and social accomplishments. As she spoke, you felt the distance between you and Max widen, a chasm fuelled by your parents' insistence on casting Gabriella as the focal point of the conversation.

Max, sensing the discomfort, tried to redirect the conversation toward a more inclusive narrative. "I'm sure there are some other stories you could tell, perhaps some that aren’t about Gabriell-?"

“Please Max, do call me Gabby.” Gabriella interrupted Max.

Your mother exchanged a knowing glance with your father before responding, "Oh, there are plenty of stories, but I think Gabriella's achievements are what make our family truly special. Don't you agree, Max?"

Max hesitated for a moment, his frustration simmering beneath the surface. However, not wanting to create a scene, he nodded uncomfortably, "Yes, I guess Gabriella is quite accomplished."

Gabriella shot you a coy smile, her triumph was evident in the subtle control she exerted over the narrative. As the conversation continued to revolve around her, Max's attempts to steer it in a different direction seemed to hit an invisible wall.

Your parents, seemingly oblivious to Max's growing discomfort, continued to extol Gabriella's virtues. The room buzzed with the clinking of silverware and the murmur of praise, all while you sat there, a silent observer of your own family dinner.

As dessert was served, Max couldn't hide the subtle tenseness in his shoulders. He glanced at you, a mix of empathy and frustration in his eyes. Despite the challenging circumstances, you appreciated his efforts to bridge the gap.

When Max tried to ask about your childhood again, your mother skilfully redirected the conversation. "Oh, Max, we can talk about that another time. Let's focus on the present moment and enjoy the evening."

Your sister, seizing every opportunity to keep the spotlight, interjected, "You know, Max, I've always been curious about your interests and aspirations. Tell us more about yourself."

The shift in attention to Max was noticeable, but it wasn't the genuine interest he had hoped for. Instead, it felt like another tactic to steer the conversation away from you. Max, his patience waning, briefly shared short anecdotes about his work, nothing he hadn’t already told to the media. However, his eyes kept returning to you, his fingers intertwined with you. As though you were oblivious to the way your sister's feet – under the table – were trying to urge Max to look at her. 

The night wore on, and Max's frustration continued to build, a silent storm brewing within him. The genuine smile he had worn upon arrival had now transformed into a tight-lipped expression, betraying his growing discontent.

Your dad had taken it upon himself to serve a glass of whiskey to him and Max, while your mother brought forth an array of finger foods and other light and savoury snacks. Your family settled around the nice fireplace in the big sitting room, it’s even more extravagant and opulent than the smaller parlour room you had tried to take refuge in earlier in the day. 

When your sister, seemingly oblivious to the tension, leaned closer to Max, her voice dripping with false sweetness, "You know, Max, we're so thrilled to have you here. It's not often we get such distinguished company." 

Max, no longer willing to play along, shifted uncomfortably on the beige couch. "Thank you for having me. It's been... quite an experience," he replied, his tone carrying a subtle edge.

Your father, still under the illusion that the evening had gone splendidly, raised his glass. "A toast! To family and new beginnings."

Max's frustration reached its peak as his eyes locked on your dad’s raised glass. Max abruptly stood up, the sound of him slamming his glass down echoing in the sudden silence. The tension in the room was palpable as he looked directly at your parents.

"I appreciate your hospitality, but I can't ignore the blatant disregard for your own daughter," he said, his voice measured but firm. "I came here hoping to learn more about her, but it seems the spotlight is reserved for someone else."

Gabriella's eyes widened in feigned innocence, a practised mask that Max wasn't buying. Your parents exchanged uneasy glances, finally sensing the budding cracks in their carefully constructed facade.

"I won't be a part of a charade that dismisses her existence," Max continued, his frustration now laid bare. "If you can't appreciate the amazing person she is, then I want no part in this. Goodnight."

Without waiting for a response, Max pulled you from the couch. As you both retreated from the sitting room, leaving behind the echoes of tension and shattered illusions, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sorrow.

Max led you through the ornate hallways of your family home, the grandeur of the surroundings now feeling suffocating. The air outside was cool and crisp as you stepped onto the front porch, the distant sounds of the night providing a stark contrast to the stifling atmosphere within.

He turned to you, his eyes reflecting a mix of frustration and concern. "I'm sorry, I didn't expect it to be like this."

You managed a small smile, appreciating his genuine intentions. "It's not your fault. Thank you for trying."

Max sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Your family... it's not what I expected."

You nodded, feeling a lump forming in your throat. "It's never been easy."

"Look, I don't know what's going on, but you deserve better than this," Max said, his voice filled with sincerity. "I'm here for you, no matter what."

As Max navigated the darkened streets, a palpable tension and heavy silence filled the car ride home between you and him. The glow of streetlights cast fleeting shadows across his determined expression, the lines of worry etched into his brow.

You sat beside him, lost in your thoughts, the events of the evening replaying in your mind like a broken record. The weight of the strained interactions with your family weighed heavily on your shoulders, a burden you couldn't shake.

Max glanced at you from the corner of his eye, his concern evident in the furrow of his brow. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, breaking the silence that had enveloped the car.

You sighed, your gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. "I don't know, Max. Tonight was… a lot. I’m sorry for Gabriella."

“They shouldn’t have said any of that.” Max ignored your comment, “that’s not- even I know that’s now how you treat family.”

“I’m sorry for Gabriella.” You tried to tell him once again, instead finding his hand reaching out to tangle it into yours. 

As Max's hand intertwined with yours, a comforting warmth spread through your fingertips, grounding you in the present moment. His touch was a lifeline, offering solace amidst the turmoil that had consumed your family gathering. You squeezed his hand gently, appreciating the silent support he offered.

Max pulled the car over, letting him turn to you and gaze into your eyes.

"I know you're sorry, love," Max whispered, his voice laced with understanding. "But you can't take responsibility for someone else's idiotic words. Gabriella's actions were uncalled for, and it's not your parents should have stopped it, not… Encouraged it."

His words resonated deep within you, reminding you that you were not solely accountable for the strained relationship with your parents. The weight on your shoulders began to lighten as if Max's presence alone could alleviate the burden.

You turned to him, finally meeting his concerned gaze. "Thank you, Max. Your support means the world to me."

He smiled softly, his eyes filled with tenderness. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what. We'll get through this together, alright?"

A surge of gratitude washed over you, grateful for the unwavering love and understanding Max consistently provided. You squeezed his hand once more, as he pulled out of the ditch. 

The car continued to glide through the darkened streets, but the heavy silence had transformed into a comforting embrace of shared vulnerability.

As the glow of streetlights continued to cast fleeting shadows, you realised that it was in the darkest moments that the strength of your relationship with Max shone the brightest. And with his hand clasped firmly in yours, you knew that together, you could weather any storm or awful family dinner.

⋗ a/n - thank you for reading this, sorry that it took so long to post this one

“Good, I’m glad.” Charles presses a kiss to your forehead, his thumb stroking along your jaw. “But maybe take it easy on the drinks, yeah? Don’t want you getting too sloppy.”

You roll your eyes dramatically. “I’m finnnne. Don’t be such a worrywart!” Sticking out your tongue, you spin away from him and do a clumsy shimmy, nearly sloshing your drink all over the both of you.

Charles just shakes his head fondly, steadying you with a hand on your waist. You catch Max’s eye from across the dance floor and wave enthusiastically. He lifts his glass to you with a lopsided grin.

Abandoning Charles for the moment, you weave through the crowd toward Max, stumbling a bit in your high heels. By the time you reach him, you’re slightly out of breath but beaming. “Maxieeee!”

He raises an eyebrow at your drunken exuberance. “Having a good night, I see.”

“The best!” You throw your arms around him for a tight hug, getting some of your drink on his expensive shirt in the process. “I just love you so much, you know that?”

Max laughs, patting your back. “Yeah, yeah, I love you too.”

Pulling back, you grab his face between your palms so he has to look you in the eyes. “No, like, I really really love you. You’re the sweetest guy ever and those stupid fans who boo you are so messed up. If I ever hear anyone booing you again, I’m gonna fight them! With my bare hands! I’ll claw their eyes out!”

Your earnest defense of him only makes Max laugh harder, lines crinkling around his eyes. “Wow, my very own bodyguard. I feel so safe now.” He shoots an amused look over your shoulder at where Charles is hovering uncertainly.

“I’m serious!” You insist, giving his cheeks a shake. Tears are starting to prick at your eyes, a side effect of how emotionally open you become when intoxicated. “You’re just … you’re the best, Maxie. The absolute best. Those people don’t deserve you. You deserve the world.”

Max’s gaze softens as your alcohol-tinged words slur together. “Hey now, no need to get all weepy on me.” He uses his thumbs to wipe at the dampness on your cheeks. “I’m good, I promise. More than used to a few boos by now.”

You hiccup, arms tightening around his neck as you bury your face against his chest. “Still shouldn’t happen. You’re too precious for this world.”

A warm hand settles on your back. “Alright, alright, I think someone’s had enough fun for one night.” Charles gently tries to extricate you from Max’s embrace.

“Nooo!” You cling stubbornly to your friend. “I’m not done telling Maxie how much I love and appreciate him! Don’t take me away!”

Max snorts, wrapping one arm around your waist to keep you from toppling over. “It’s okay, Charles. She’s not bothering me at all. I think it’s sweet.”

“That may be, but we both know how much of a sloppy drunk she can be.” Charles glances pointedly at the damp spot on Max’s shirt. “I don’t want her embarrassing you or getting sick all over the place.”

You finally lift your head to pout at your boyfriend. “I would never! You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

As if to prove your point, you sway unsteadily on your feet, having to clutch at Max’s biceps to stay upright. Both men eye you skeptically.

“Sure, ma belle. Just let me get you home before you really make a scene, okay?” Charles reaches for you again, more insistently this time.

Evading his grasp, you stumble back a step, shaking your head adamantly. “No! I don’t wanna go home yet! The night is still so young!”

You spread your arms out, twirling in a wobbly circle that has both Charles and Max tensing like they expect you to topple over at any second. When you come to a halt, Max’s chest is suddenly right in front of you.

Stretching up on your tiptoes, you throw your arms around his neck and plant a smacking kiss on his cheek, leaving a ruby imprint of your lipstick behind. “I love you, Maxie!”

“Whoa, okay!” Max goes cross-eyed for a second at your proximity, hands fluttering uncertainly by his sides. “I, uh, I love you too, but — Charles? A little help here, mate?”

Charles is at your side in an instant, trying to unwrap your limbs from around Max with minimal grabbing or yanking. “Come on, mon cœur, let’s go. You’ve had more than enough fun tormenting poor Max for one night.”

“M’not tormenting!” You protest, slurring. You pat clumsily at Max’s face, smearing more lipstick in the process. “Just telling the truth! My favoritest person!”

“We both know that’s not true,” Charles says with a squeeze of his eyes, finally managing to dislodge you from Max. He sweeps you into his arms bridal style. “Say goodnight to Max, chérie.”

“Nooo! Put me down!” You kick your feet halfheartedly, craning your neck to mouth “love you” at Max one more time over Charles’ shoulder.

Max just waves, that amused grin still playing around his lips as Charles carts you away. You pout, collapsing back against your boyfriend’s chest with a grumpy huff of, “You’re the worst.”

“So you keep telling me.” Charles presses a kiss to your slack mouth, not seeming bothered in the slightest by your drunken ire. “But you’ll thank me for this tomorrow when you don’t have a raging hangover.”

Since Charles is clearly intent on removing you from the club no matter how much you protest, you decide to bask in the warmth and closeness of being carried. Nuzzling into the curve of his neck, you mumble, “I really do love Max so so so much though.”

“I know you do.” Charles’ thumb strokes over your cheek, touch unbearably tender. “In your own weird and oddly endearing way.”

You whine, squeezing your eyes shut against the harsh lights of the club’s entrance as Charles carries you outside. “M’not weird! Just honest when I’m drunk!”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says, amused.

The sounds of thumping bass and crowd chatter fade as he deposits you carefully in the backseat of the waiting car. You immediately curl onto your side, blinking up at him owlishly from the leather seat.

Charles brushes the hair back from your face with a soft smile. “I really do adore you, you know? Even when you’re sloppy drunk and mauling Max with affection.”

Biting your lip, you grab his hand and turn your face to press a kiss against his palm. “I adore you too, Charlie. The mostest.”

His dimples appear and he leans down to catch your lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. When he pulls away, he looks almost dazed for a moment before giving himself a shake. “Get some rest, mon ange. I’ll get us home safe and sound.”

You hum agreeably, already feeling sleep start to tug at your eyelids. Just before you drift off, you slur one last thing.

“Y’know you’re still my favoritest person though, right? Always an’ forever, baby.”

“Try me.” He wants to call your bluff because no way in hell did he not know this about you. You always were reserved when it came to talking about sex; you never had you seemed promiscuous.

You hold up your hand to your ear, pretending it is a phone, and Eddie follows your lead.

“Ring ring,” he giggles.

“Hello.” You changed the pitch of your voice to be more sultry.

“Hi,” he smirks.

“Can I get a name, handsome?”

“ Eddie”

“Mmmm, hi, Eddie. I’m Candy.”

“Candy?”

He breaks character, but you don’t.

“the boys say it’s because I’m so sweet.” You fake giggle.

“This is my first time calling. I’m not sure what to do here.”

“That’s okay, I’ll walk you through it… you want to get comfortable for me?”

Eddie looks around the room at the others, who are trying to stifle their giggles. This night was supposed to be chill, with pizza and beers. He wasn’t really sure how you all ended up here.

“I’m comfortable.” He says without actually moving.”

“I wish I could see; you sound so sexy.” You sigh.

Another giggle leaves Eddie’s lips because who is this person who’s taken over your body?

“Yeah? you wish you could see be, Dollface?” Playing into it more.

You lean in to whisper so only he can hear it this time. “oh yeah, big boy; I bet your cock is already nice and hard for me. Such a good boy, I want you to fill me.” You sit back, take a loose tendril, twirl his hair around your finger, and watch Eddie’s eyes widen at what you just said.

“Oh-okay, that’s enough.” He chuckles, trying not to give away how turned on he just got. “I believe you!”

You sit back with a giggle and grab another slice of pizza like nothing just happened.

Everyone looked at you with shock.

Eddie quickly gets up and excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

“What did you say?!” Robin begs.

You shrug in response like it was another day at work… which it has been.

“Damn, is it hot in here?” Steve pops the collar of his shirt.

“You guys need to loosen up, my god.”

While you were still enjoying your pizza, Eddie was having a crisis. Never had he thought of you in that way until moments ago, listening to those filthy words slip from your lips.

“I bet your cock is already nice and hard for me. Such a good boy, I want you to fill me,” your words replayed in his mind while he tried to fight the blood rushing to his stiffening cock.

He can’t go back out there like this. Eddie splashed cold water on his face to try to snap him out of it, but it didn’t help.

A quick rap on the door startles Eddie out of his inner monologue.

“You okay, big boy? You’ve been in there fifteen minutes.” He hears you laugh from the other side.

Had it really been that long?

Eddie’s issue had not been resolved; in fact, it had worsened as he tried to push down the thought of you naked and spread out for him… talking to him like that.

“Yeah-I-uh- just a minute.” Eddie wanted to pull his hair out at how frustrated you had made him.

You were just pals, bubbies, amigos.

You weren’t attractive… were you?

Eddie never thought to look at you in that way; you’re just a friend, always had been, always will be… unless?

The more Eddie thought about it, the more he realized he did think your hair looked really pretty tonight. The way you always did your makeup really brought out your beautiful features…and when he got a whiff of your delicious perfume when you twirled his hair, he thought his.

“You sure?” You try to jiggle the door handle, but it’s locked.

“Shit,” Eddie curses under with breath.

“Come on, Ed, talk to me, please?”

You hear the lock unlatch and watch the doorknob slowly turn as Eddie pokes his head out.

“Hi,” he’s short and sounds a bit out of breath.

“I hope what I said didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

Ed saw the worried look in your eyes.

“No! Well, I mean, yes, but…no.”

“Yes, but no?”

Eddie let out a deep sigh. He didn’t see a way out of this. He stepped aside to let you in and shut the door behind you.

“Eddie?” You look up at him.

“Hm?”

His eyes snap to your concerned face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was a big deal! It did it all the time for work; I just… I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. clearly, I overstepped a boundary-“

“You’re not the only one.”

“What do you mean?”

Eddie moves his strategically placed hands to reveal the tent formed in his jeans and watches as your face falls into amused shock.

You cup your mouth to stifle an unexpected giggle.

“That’s not the reaction a guy wants when he shows a girl how turned on he is.”

“I’m sorry, I just!-didn’t think?”

“It’s okay. I’m just trying to get rid of it, but it’s not going away.”

“You mean?”

“I’m waiting it out.”

“Oh, ok.” You nod awkwardly.

An awkward silence washes over the both of you as you try so hard not to stare at his crotch.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask for your help if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Ok…”

Another very uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, trying to do everything in your power so as not to look down.

“I um… I guess I’ll just.” You point to the door that he’s blocking.

“Uh. Ok,” he nods and steps to the side.

You close the door behind you but don’t leave. You lean against the door and take a deep breath, trying to make sense of the evening.

Why did the thought of turning Eddie on excite you? He’s a friend. Just a friend. I always had and always will be.

With a deep breath, you go to push yourself up off the door, but before you’re able to, you hear your name being moaned from the other side of the door.

You froze. You knew you should move, but your feet were locked in place. More heavy breaths and the sound of muffled moans seeped from under the door gap, and you pressed your ear to the door.

Eddie was jerking off because of you… and you liked it?

Eddie bit back screaming your name as he finally released himself into the bathroom tissue. Finally, he could return to rejoin everyone without being physically uncomfortable.

He discarded his release, tucked himself back in, washed his hands, and unlocked the door, but he was ambushed when you fell onto him when he went to open the door.

You let out a squeak as you lost your balance, falling into Eddie as the door was opened from under you.

“Woah,” Eddie catches you before you’re able to fall. His rage hands wrap around your biceps, gripping tightly to brace your fall.

“Were you spying on me?”

“Oh god, sorry” you’re so embarrassed. The whole evening has been one shit show. You scramble to find your fitting to create space between you and Eddie.

“You were spying on me!”

“Shhhhh! Keep your voice down.”

“You totally were spying on me!” He accused.

“You’re the one who moaned my name!” You defend.

Eddie’s cheeks reddened.

“You’re the one who said all those… things!” his hands flailed.

“You’re the one who egged it on!”

“So!”

“So?”

“Yeah, so!”

“Woah, guys, what’s going on here?” Steve pops his head around the corner.

“Nothing,” you both glare.

“Ohhhhhkayyyyyyyy,” Steve turns a heel and walks back to the kitchen to grab a drink.

“Eddie,” you sigh, “I don’t want to argue. This is dumb, and we can pretend it never happened.”

“We could, but I gotta know.”

“What’s that?”

“Did you like it?” He took a step closer, filling the gap between you.

“What?” You look up at him.

“I asked if you like listening to me?” he brushed your hair behind your shoulder.

You gulp, not expecting Eddie’s demeanour to switch on a dime.

“I… I don’t know?”

“I think you did, and you’re too scared to admit it.” You can smell him. He is so close to you.

“Eddie, what are you doing?” You watch as he leans in closer.

“Just trust me.” His hands find the back of your neck, pulling you close.

“Eddie?”

“Let me try something.”

“Kay,” you whisper.

Eddie’s lips graze yours ever so lightly before he presses them fully.

A million and one thoughts run through your mind as Eddie kisses you.

You blame the cheap beer for letting this happen. You blame the beer for liking it. You blame the beer for kissing him back. You blame the beer for the tongue slip and the beer for how you wanted to moan when he pulled away.

“Woah”

“Yea woah,” you repeated dumbly.

“um… did you like it?”

“Yeah… did you?”

“Yeah.”

“cool… now what?”

“go out with me,” Eddie states confidently.

“Like a date?”

“what else would it be?” He chuckles.

“I don’t know?” You shrug, embarrassed that Eddie is getting you all flustered.

“You’re cute when you don’t know what to say.” He smirks.

“I’m cute?” You never thought hearing Eddie say those words would send butterflies fluttering through your tummy.

Eddie doesn’t answer verbally; he leans in to kiss you again to confirm his statement.

“We should get back to the others.” You sigh as you pull away.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“You didn’t ask me anything.”

“Yes, I did. I asked you out.”

“No, you said go out with me. That’s a statement, not a question.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No,” Yes, you were totally messing with him.

“Will you go out on a date with me?”

“Just say yes! You’ve been gone for half an hour!” You hear Robin yell from the living room.

“Robin!” You hear Steve scold.

“What?”

You can’t help but laugh and can’t believe the next world’s coming out of your mouth.

“Captain! They’ve got innocents down here,” she shouted to someone behind her. Her orange braids swung with the graceful arc of her arm and the sword in her hand clattered against the chains of the lock that held the door close. Two more well-aimed hits and the chains collapsed to the ground. The door slowly eased open and you inched towards it, just as the boat shuddered and groaned under the assault of artillery.

“We need to go,” a man called. The woman shoved the door open and extended her hand to you. You regarded her warily and cradled the children closer. She was a pirate. She just wanted to take you onto their next ship and sell you off to the highest bidder. Her eerie green eyes took in the gag around your face and her expression softened.

“I’m Kori. I’m the second mate of the Nightwing. We’re here to free you and take you back home.”

Before you could raise your hand to point and warn her about the pirate sneaking up behind her, the woman spun and jammed her sword into his gut, dropping him to the floor. You covered the boy’s eyes and took that as a good sign. Scrambling to your feet, you extended the children towards her. She sheathed her sword and took each into her arms and then glanced at the chains that bound your hands and ankles.

“Dick! I need some help in here!”

Within seconds, a man appeared. He was covered in blood spatter, salt water, and sweat, but his bright blue eyes reminded you of the clear water of your home. He gripped two swords in his hands and they looked natural in his grip. You shrank back at the sharp gleam of his blades and he reached up to slide them into the scabbards on his back.

“Take them and go,” he ordered, his eyes never leaving yours. He stepped past through the opening of the bars and extended a hand towards you. “Go, Kori. I won’t leave her here.”

She disappeared into the darkness as the ship shuddered and leered to the right. You stumbled against the wall and the man, Dick, reached out to steady you. He drew a knife from his waist and you flinched back, but he merely grasped the rope around your face and pulled it away before slicing through it.

“Bold move for a pirate,” you gasped out. It was the first words you had spoken in days and they curled brilliantly across your tongue. A reckless grin crossed his lips and he shrugged, sheathing his knife. He held out his hands and you offered him yours, revealing the thick iron that contained you.

“Keys are on Blockbuster’s belt,” you explained. The water was lapping at your feet now, soddening the hems of your skirts. He glanced down at the rising level and grimaced.

“No time. I need to break them.”

“You don’t have time, pirate. You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving you here.”

“I can breathe.”

His blue eyes locked with yours. “I know. But it would be days before someone could get to you and by that point…”

“You’re reckless, sailor.”

He huffed out a laugh and you couldn’t help but notice how attractive he was when he smiled. The pirate looked around the small brig before ducking out into the hall and returning with a hefty chunk of what you presumed was a piece of the deck.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he explained. “But this will be messy.”

“It’s alright. The water will heal me.” It was rising faster now. The water lapped at your ankles and you savored the touch of it against your skin after so long. How many days had passed since Blockbuster lured you in with an injured mer child and trapped you in a net? They dumped a bucket of saltwater onto you once a day, but it wasn’t enough. Your blood sang as your connection renewed with the ocean. You could feel the power surge through you once again.

He brought the rock down with a ferocity seen only in sword fights. It cracked against the iron binding your ankles and you clenched your teeth as the shock reverberated through your bones. Dick looked up to check your reaction and you gave him a short nod of reassurance. He continued his assault on the lock. You shut your eyes and focused on the feeling of the icy cold water as it reached your calves. To help him, you raised the ankle he was focusing out of the water and he gently touched your calf, dragging your foot to rest on his thigh.

“How’d you get stuck on this ship?” You could laugh at his attempt at casual conversation. Water dripped from the strands of hair that fell in front of his eyes and you watched as it trailed down the slope of his straight nose and then along the curve of his full, smirking lips.

“I thought a mer child was injured and he caught me. Why are you doing this?”

He successfully shattered the chain around your right leg and you quickly switched positions to offer your left leg. The water was now up to your thigh and the boat groaned. The sinking would accelerate the more water accumulated. Time was running out.

“I get my money from looting ships like this,” he explained. “I’m not interested in selling mers.”

“And sirens?”

He paused his work for just a moment and looked up at you through his lashes. “I’m not interested in selling anyone.”

The angle of the boat was listing faster. He practically snapped the metal off with his bare hands once he saw the fissures start to appear. The water swirled around your waist and you felt panic start to build in your throat as he stood to his full height to begin on your hands. You could picture the cold darkness of the deep sea as it kept you hidden from the mers and sirens above you. With your hands bound in iron, you wouldn’t have the ability to hunt, to feed. What would claim you first: starvation, a predator, or fear?

“Hey.” His voice softened. “Hey, we’re fine. It’ll be fine. I’m not leaving you.”

“You should. You’re being foolish and reckless an-”

“I’m told that a lot.”

The metal around your hands fully covered your fists and kept them locked together, encasing your power within the hold. If you could just get free from it, you could get you both out of this hold. You would be able to breathe when the water finally swallowed you, but Dick…he was human. Water rushed into the room and up against your chest. You raised your hands above your head so he could continue working, but something stopped you.

“Wait,” you blurted out. His chest was heaving with exertion and sweat beaded along his brow. You considered your wild thought for a moment and then leaned over to capture his lips in yours. He stiffened but then raised one of his hands to cup the back of your head and draw you in closer. Just as quickly as the kiss began, he pulled away and shook his head. He focused back on breaking these stupid fucking chains and you felt the need to explain.

“A siren’s kiss,” you stammered out.

“Can grant the ability to breathe underwater,” he grunted. “I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for kissing me,” he said with a quiet chuckle. “Just be sure that next time it’s because you want to.”

You felt the bindings loosen a bit just as water reached your chin and you had to raise your face to the wooden ceiling to say, “I wanted to.” And then you let your head fall under the waves. You thrashed against the iron and yanked with all of your might. The ocean seeped into your body and cracked the metal in two, just in time for the boat to start its descent towards the ocean floor.

Claws extended from your nails and you dug them into the wooden wall beside you. You were made to break ships and tear men apart. Sirens were the protectors of the innocent and the seas. The first of your kind were women thrown from ships after being deemed “bad luck” who were saved by the moon’s kindness. Since then, sirens had become the guardians of anyone cast out from ships without provocation or trial. Pirates were your sworn enemies because they hunted mers and sirens with the intent of using their powers for their wicked plans.

The wood tore under your claws and a jagged hole emerged, exposing the ocean before you. Grabbing Dick’s arm, you hauled him out into the open water and finally, finally let the water consume those pesky human legs and grant you your tail back. With a powerful thrust, you rocketed through the water, grabbing Dick in the process, and flew up to the surface.

His ship was already departing the wreckage so it wouldn’t get sucked in by the vacuum effect of the sinking. You offered him a crooked grin. “Need a ride?”

The pirate threw his head back with a laugh and nodded. “As long as you promise not to feed me to a shark.”

A small rowboat was already lowered once you approached the boat and you looked up to find Kori standing on deck. She pointed behind you and you turned to find the two mer kids swimming along happily in the distance, another siren keeping a careful eye on them.

“Thank you!” You waved to her and she smiled brightly. You helped Dick climb into the rowboat and then leaned your arms against the side of it to give you leverage. As he settled onto the seats, you noticed a nasty cut on his wrist.

“The wood got me,” he explained. “I’ll be fine.”

You ran your fingers along the cut with a reverence reserved for sailor’s pesky sea idols and medallions. He watched as water trailed up his fingers and bathed the cut. The skin stitched itself together until the water left only smooth, unblemished flesh in its wake.

“And thank you,” you said softly.

“Will I see you again?” His hand reached out and you didn’t flinch this time. Instead, you leaned in to his touch as he ran the tips of his fingers along your jaw and over your neck, where you knew gills resided. He didn’t look at you as though you were a freak of nature or something to behold for his own desires.

Or, perhaps you were wrong about that last part.

“I hunt ships who capture mers,” you explain. “So I think our paths will cross again.”

He moved closer to the edge of the boat and you gently placed your hand on his shoulder before he could capsize the boat. A smile crossed those pretty lips of his and then he was kissing you once more. The taste of salt lingered on his tongue and you savored the delicate way he touched you. Rarely did you find a man who would treat a siren with kindness.

Dick Grayson, you came to find out, was not like any man you have known.

“Until I see you,” he whispered when he pulled away. You smiled and tenderly squeezed his arm before floating back into the water.

“I look forward to it. Until then.”

He gets up abruptly, clearing his throat and you feel a sinking sensation in your chest at his sudden shift in mood. You had what you imagine is a rare glimpse of Loki's playful, mischievous side and you can't help but wish he wouldn't return to the cold, overly sarcastic demeanor he had when you first knocked on his door. Closing the pizza box, you decide to clean up the table and put the leftovers in Loki's fridge. It's a small but welcome distraction, keeping you from thinking about how much you enjoy Loki's company when he allows himself to relax around you.

"Thank you for the food," he says without looking up from his book. He sits crossed legged on the floor and holds the book a bit closer as his fingers trace the text across the page.

You smile then sit back on the couch, "You're very welcome... and thanks for trying to help me." He nods quietly in response as he continues to read.

Loki stands slowly a few minutes later, his eyes lowered as he reads the book in his hands. He walks towards you with the book still open and you suddenly become nervous as you realize this is actually going to happen. You are actually going to let him put a spell on you.

"Okay... so what's this supposed to do?" you are almost afraid to ask.

Loki sits next to you and places the open book on the coffee table. "Well, in theory it should-" he starts to explain, his eyes meeting yours as he glances up from the book.

"In theory?" you ask, your voice shaking.

"Yes," he answers seriously. "This is not what the spell was originally intended to do but I should be able to adjust it slightly so that it will fix your issue."

"So... I'm starting to think maybe having someone put a literal spell on me is a really fucking stupid idea," you say and shake your head, ignoring J.A.R.V.I.S.

"I am not just someone," he says, it is clear from his tone he is trying to sound offended but he doesn't hide his smirk as well as he thinks he does.

"Right, you're an actual trickster god," you reply, gesturing towards him. "The title doesn't exactly inspire trust, you know?"

He shrugs, "It's not too late to change your mind and either give up swearing or simply ask for a raise."

You groan and sit back, crossing your arms against your chest, "Just promise me you won't turn me into a frog." His lips curl into a smirk and you sit up, quickly adding, "Or a snake or a bug or anything else not human. Please?"

"I promise you will remain a Midgardian," he says in a sincere voice. His eyes flicker from yours to your hand and his fingers move slightly towards you but he pauses then places his hand on his knee. He shifts a few inches closer to you on the couch but keeps his eyes focused on the open book. "Do you still want me to do this, Y/N?" he asks, glancing back at you.

"Yes," you take a deep breath and nod. "Yea, lets do this. What's the worse that can happen?"

He chuckles and without thinking, you put your hand over his mouth before he can say anything. His eyes widen when your palm touches his lips and for a split second, your brain registers how soft they are. Loki has a look of utter confusion on his face when you remove your hand quickly with a nervous laugh.

"Sorry, I just don't really want to hear all the horrible stuff that might happen if this goes wrong," you tell him, lowering your eyes to avoid looking at him.

"Nothing will go wrong," he promises, touching your arm lightly but he moves his hand the moment you look up. "Are you ready to start?" he asks.

"As ready as I'm gonna be," you tell him with a shrug, feeling slightly more confident in Loki than you had moments earlier.

He flashes you a small smile then leans forward slightly towards the book, his fingers tracing the lines of text as he mumbles to himself. He nods confidently when he is satisfied with the spell and looks at you. "Stay still," he warns you gently then he holds his open palm inches from your neck. Your heart beats faster as he begins to read the foreign words, his voice just above a whisper. The green glow of his seidr slowly reaches out from his fingertips and you feel it's warmth wrap around your throat loosely. You force yourself to remain perfectly still, keeping your eyes focused on Loki.

When he finishes reading, he closes the book and looks at you. "Care to test it out?" he asks, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice unsuccessfully.

You clear your throat and say, "I hope this *silence* spell worked..." You look at him in shock when your voice goes suddenly silent as you swear. "What the *silence* was that?"

"Interesting," Loki says, opening the book again.

"I really *silence* hate when you say *silence* like that," you tell him, trying not to feel worried as your voice cuts in and out.

"The spell was supposed to block J.A.R.V.I.S from being able to hear you swear but it seems to have silenced your words completely," he explains, running his fingers through his long, dark curls as he leans closer to the open pages. "Ahh..." he nods as he flips the page.

"What the *silence* does that mean?" you look at the page over his shoulder.

"I seem to have misjudged the potency of this part here," he points to a passage from the book that you have no way of understanding. "Still, it seems as if it was successful," he forces a smile as he can tell you are unhappy with the results.

"Successful?" you ask, sitting back you put your hands over your face.

"The computer is not charging you," he reminds you. "Was that not the goal of this whole evening?"

"Yea," you agree. "I guess you're right."

"Than you should be thanking me," Loki smirks proudly. "Feel free to throw in as many compliments as you would like."

You can't help but laugh, "Thank *silence* *silence* *silence* *silence*..." Your heart sinks and you fill with dread as all of your words are soundless but Loki doesn't seem to notice as he closes the book again.

"I am waiting for the flood of complements I am owed and then you are free to leave," he chuckles and you swat his shoulder with the back of your hand. He looks at you with a confused expression and you gesture towards your throat as you open your mouth to speak but no sound comes out.

"Oh, no..." he shakes his head as he realizes what you are trying to tell him. "Okay, don't worry Y/N, I can undo the spell," he assures you as he opens the book. He mumbles under his breath as he flips through the pages quickly and you can only imagine he must be swearing in Asgardian. He finds the page he had been on previously and pulls the book onto his lap.

You tug on the sleeve of his shirt nervously and he looks at you. "I am going to fix it," he promises again, taking your hand and squeezing it gently. "I just need a moment to think," he explains and you can't do anything but nod.

"Ah yes, why didn't I just look in my hundred year old book of spells that deals with artificial intelligence?" he says sarcastically.

"So that was awful," you laugh nervously a few minutes later when your voice is fully restored. You rub your throat gently and Loki frowns, holding your gaze for only a moment before he looks away.

"I truly am sorry," he says, shaking his head. "I have no idea why that went so wrong," he skims the page again, his fingers comb through his hair as he thinks.

"Do you think it's cause you messed with it too much?" you ask as he closes the book heavily and stands up.

"It may have been," he responds, placing the book in the pile of useless ones. He sighs and looks around at the books still remaining on the shelves.

"Can I ask you something?" you tuck your legs under your body and pick up one of his pillows to hold against your chest. He nods but doesn't face you, his eyes searching for the next solution. "How come you have to alter the spells? Wouldn't it be easier to just use the right type?"

"Okay, that's fair," you roll your eyes. "I guess I didn't really think about that part. I just figured... well I'm not really sure how I thought your magic worked honestly."

"No one on the team is concerned with how my spells are created," Loki says over his shoulder then he picks up a thick, leather bound book and quietly adds, "So long as the spells work properly, my magic rarely interests anyone."

"I think it's cause you make it look so natural," you try to explain as you get up and walk towards him. "Like when you are on a mission, you don't sit around a read a ton of books or recite all these spells before doing anything, you just sort of," you wave your hand towards a stack of books and mime moving them to the table, "and stuff happens. Am I making sense?"

He chuckles, "Yes."

"So how do you do it?" you ask.

"Do what?" he looks at you confused.

"Make it look so easy?" you respond with a shrug.

"Roughly nine hundred years of practice," he answers.

"Nine hundred..." you say quietly and he nods. "I forgot you're like a thousand years old."

"One thousand fifty three," he smirks, "And I will assume you forgot because of my stunning good looks."

"You're not unfortunate to look at," you laugh, unable to admit he is completely correct.

"You wound me, truly, Y/N," he shakes his head but can't contain his laughter.

There is a loud knock on Loki's door and you turn towards it but Loki makes no move to answer it. He opens the book in his hand and you shrug then walk to the door.

"What are you doing?" he asks without looking up.

"Answering your door," you tell him. "It's what normal people do when someone knocks."

"I am still dealing with the consequences of the last time I opened my door to someone," he says followed by a heavy sigh but you can tell his annoyance is faked and you fight to hold back a smile.

"Oh... hello Y/N," Thor says slowly, unable to hide his shock. "What are you doing in my brother's room?"

"Brown leather wallet with a big script 'T' embossed on the front and a picture of Jane in the little plastic picture space?" you describe the wallet Loki had given you money from earlier.

"Um..." you hadn't thought far enough ahead to come up with an excuse when you opened the door. "We were just- we're hanging out. Do you need him?"

"I was just wondering if he had seen my wallet," Thor says. "Or have you?"

"Yes, that's it," he says excitedly.

"No, sorry I haven't seen it," you tell him and instantly have no idea why you lied.

"Oh, okay well if you do, let me know. I had about two hundred dollars in it," he says.

Minus the money Loki already gave me, you think. "Will do Thor and I'll check to see if Loki's seen it," you tell him.

"Thank you, goodnight Y/N," he says as he leaves.

"Your brother is gone," you tell him when you close the door. You notice Loki is now sitting cross legged on the floor in front of the stack of books with one open on his lap.

Loki nods in response, his eyes scanning the open pages in front of him.

"He was looking for his wallet but I told him neither of us had seen it," you inform him.

"Mmhmm," he mumbles and nods again.

"Thor asked why I was here so late so I told him we've been secretly dating for months and we're madly in love," you say as you walk closer to the prince.

Again, Loki nods slowly, turning the page he hums, "Mmhm."

"I told him you are a really good kisser but you never know what to do with your hands," you smile as you stand right behind him.

Loki turns the next page and without looking up says, "I know exactly what to do with my hands."

"Oh-" you say in surprise. "You were listening to me."

"Yes," he chuckles. "I can read and listen to you lie at the same time."

"Right well..." you fidget with your fingers and try to think of something to say.

"Why are you standing so close to me?" he says finally looking up to see you reading over his shoulder.

You take a large step back and giggle nervously, "Sorry. I- Umm... Did you find anything useful?"

"Possibly," he says as he gets up.

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"Yea. He thinks this high tech swear jar is going to stop me from cursing all the time but all it's doing is annoying the shit out of me," you complain to Loki.

"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcom-," J.A.R.V.I.S. announces again.

"Shut up," you tell the program, cutting the announcement short.

Loki smiles at your outburst then says, "What is it you expect me to do?"

"I have no idea honestly," you shrug. "Don't you have a spell for everything?"

"I have a spell for almost everything, yes," he says then he is quiet for a moment as if he is thinking. "I do think I may have a solution to your... issue." He waves his hand vaguely towards the speaker J.A.R.V.I.S spoke from.

"Really?" you ask excitedly. "That would be awesome." You thought it was going to be way harder than this to convince Loki to help you.

He leans towards you and looks you straight in the eyes. "Stop swearing," he says then he goes back in his room and closes his door in your face.

You stand in the hallway, looking at his door and mumble, "Fuck."

"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from-"

"Shut the hell up!" you yell, cutting it off again.

"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming paycheck-"

"I know! I get it," you tell J.A.R.V.I.S. You can hear Loki laughing loudly through his door and you glare at him even though he can't see you. You turn, ready to give up then you suddenly get an idea. You walk close to the door and say, "Just so I know, it would really piss off Steve if I figure out a way to get around this. Tony too, he helped set it up."

He opens the door a second later and you do your best to hide your smile. "It would aggravate them wouldn't it?" he says almost to himself and you nod but try not to look too excited. He sighs and takes a step back to open the door further, "Very well. I think I might have a spell that could work."

Loki closes the door and you stand awkwardly in the middle of his living area, unsure what to do. You've never been in his apartment before and as far as you know, no one else on the team has either. Loki isn't known for being a fan of having people in his personal space or of people in general.

You look around his living area. One wall is lined with tall, overflowing bookshelves and a leather couch is set against the other wall. A dark wood coffee table matches the end tables, one of which has a short stack of books and a steaming cup of tea. You walk over to the end table with the books and open the cover of the top book, assuming it's what Loki was reading before he opened the door.

"Don't touch anything," Loki says from behind you and you close the book quickly, turning to see him standing closer then you expected.

"Sorry, I was just-" you suddenly feel nervous being alone with him, maybe this wasn't a good idea.

"Sit," he motions towards the couch and you do as he tells you. You sit quietly on the middle of his couch with your hands on your lap, watching him search through the numerous books scattered about. While you wait, your mind wanders to a meeting yesterday morning with the team.

---------------------------------------

You take a seat at the rectangular table across from Thor and Bruce, scrolling through your tablet to find the notes for this meeting. Natasha and Clint walk in, followed by Loki then Steve and Tony. Without a word, Steve places a glass jar that says 'Y/N's Swear Jar' on in it between you and Clint.

You look up at him as he sits. "Seriously Steve? I haven't said a damn thing yet," you tell him then groan when he gives you a disappointed look. You reach into your bag to find your wallet and drop in your last two quarters. "Happy?" you ask him as you sit back in your chair.

"I would be happier if you stopped using inappropriate language so frequently," he answers.

"I think the odds of my brother voluntarily attending one of Stark's parties is higher than Y/N giving up swearing," Thor jokes. Loki roll his eyes as his brother nudges him playfully.

You look at thor, "Did you know that people who swear lie less often then people who don't?" Thor shakes his head and you turn to look at Steve, "They've done studies that suggest that people who curse are more honest because they use fewer social filters when they are expressing their opinions."

"Is that true?" Clint leans towards you.

"I have no idea, I read it online," you whisper back.

"That may be, but it is still not appropriate for a work environment," Steve lectures you.

"I send out super professional emails, isn't that good enough?" you ask.

"No," he answers sternly.

"That's bullshit," you cross your arms and look at him. He doesn't say a word, simply looking from you to the jar and back at you. "Ugh, fine." You grab your wallet and take out a bill, "Does anyone have change for a five?"

"Just put the five in there," Fury says when he walks in. "We all know you'll use it today."

"Hurtful," you tell him but you fold up the bill and put it in the jar then you smile at Steve.

"I don't like that look," Tony says and Steve agrees.

"It's like prepaying for ten words," you laugh, "I just have to use the damn things well."

"Nine," Clint says.

"Ah shit," you look at him and Natasha laughs.

"Eight," he smiles.

"Good thing someone is keeping track," Bruce says.

"Is it ok with everyone if we start this damn the meeting now?" Fury asks annoyed from his seat at the head of the table.

"How come he doesn't get a jar?" you ask, leaning across the table towards Steve and pointing at Fury.

Tony laughs, "Believe me, Steve tried."

---------------------------------------

Loki smirks as he looks up from one of his books, "This spell may help, it will render you utterly mute."

You stand up quickly, "Yea, no, fuck that."

"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted-" J.A.R.V.I.S says.

"Oh, come the fuck on," you tell it and Loki laughs again.

"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your-" it repeats.

"Just forget it," you tell him. "You don't know how to help me anymore than anyone else did. Coming here was a waste."

You walk past him towards the door and he says, "Maybe you should ask for a raise."

"Thanks," you tell him in an annoyed tone and open his door.

He sighs loudly just as you step out into the hall. "Fine," he says and you turn to look at him. "I'll help."

"With another stupid suggestion?" you ask.

"No, I'm sure I have a spell here we could use," he tells you, gesturing towards his books.

"Why are you changing your mind?" you ask, unsure if you can trust him.

He shrugs, "Honestly I'm bored."

"Seriously?" you ask, crossing your arms.

"Were you hoping for a different reason?" he asks, crossing his arms to mirror your body language.

You unfold your arms, "I mean... yea. You could see least feel a little bad for me?"

"But I don't," he says with a light shrug.

"Oh... well I guess I'll take it," you tell him and close the door. He nods to acknowledge your decision but doesn't reply.

You sit on the couch while his focus returns to his books. You watch him pick up a hardcover book then put it back, taking the one next to it. He flips through the pages slowly and you ask, "Your not gonna turn me into frog or anything, right?"

He looks up at you confused.

"Thor said you've done that to him before," you explain.

He groans, "It was one time and we were children."

"I'm just checking. I don't know how any of this works," you tell him.

"Clearly," he rolls his eyes and goes back to his book. He looks up again and adds, "If I wanted to turn you into a frog I would have done so already."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" you ask.

"Yes," he says matter of factly then he goes back to reading.

You try to get comfortable on Loki's couch but you can't seem to relax, you are afraid to touch anything including the pillows. After a few minutes of silence he sits next to you and you shift away from him a bit. He doesn't seem to notice your reaction and hands you the open book.

"Read this," he says.

"It's in Spanish," you tell him.

"Very observant," Loki nods.

"I can't read this. I took three years of Spanish in high school but it didn't really stick," you explain.

"Humans are so dull without the Allspeak," he mumbles.

"Do you always need to be annoying?" you ask him.

"No," he smiles at you.

"What was your point with the book?" you ask, trying to get back on track.

"I will explain after. Read this part," he points to a specific paragraph.

You give the short paragraph your best attempt. Based on the way Loki flinches at how you pronounce almost every word, you assume you did awful. J.A.R.V.I.S remains silent so you ask Loki what you said.

He smirks, "Something that should have cost you more than a few dollars."

"Really?" you ask and look back at the book. You grab your phone and use it to translate the text. Your eyes go wide at the excessive swearing and insults the character uses to describe another character. "Wow," you laugh, "You weren't kidding."

"Now that you know what it means, try it again," he suggests.

You read it again, your pronunciation still off but when you finish J.A.R.V.I.S charges you for eight words. Loki laughs and you look at him annoyed, "Great, thanks. That was annoyingly useless."

"I thought it was funny," he smiles. "And it wasn't useless. Now we know that it only works if you know what you are saying."

"You're an ass," you tell him.

"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from-" the program repeats.

"You owe me $4.50," you cross your arms and lean back on the couch.

He waves his hand and a five dollar bill appears between his fingers. He hands it to you, "I'm sure you'll use the other word soon enough. I want to try one more thing."

"I don't think I trust you anymore," you say, putting the money in your pocket.

"I didn't think you trusted me in the first place," he says.

"I... yea, that's a good point," you tell him.

"Here," he conjures a small notepad and pen before handing them to you.

"Where do you keep this stuff?" you ask looking at the objects.

"A pocket dimension," he explains.

"Right, sure, super normal," you laugh. "What the hell am I doing with this?"

"Y/N, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming-"

You groan and put your hand over your face.

Loki smiles and says, "I honesty thought you would keep those fifty cents a few seconds longer."

"You know, no one likes you right," you tell him in response.

"And I am truly devastated by that," he says, putting his hand over his heart.

"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "What do you want me to do with this?" You hold up the pen and notepad.

"I'm looking for a loophole," he says. "Go ahead, write some of your favorites."

You sigh and write a word but nothing happens. You write another and still nothing.

"Interesting," he says then J.A.R.V.I.S activates. "What did you do?" You hold up the notepad and he smirks as he read it. "Well now that's rude," he says, shaking his head.

"It's accurate," you smile then cross out what you wrote.

"Do you eat pizza?" you ask.

Loki looks up from the book he is reading as he stands in front of the bookcase. "What?"

"Pizza," you repeat.

"Yes, why?" he furrows his brow.

"Its 8:30, I'm ordering food," you tell him. "I came here right after work so I missed dinner."

"No," he says and goes back to his book.

"What do you mean, no?" you ask, looking up from your favorite delivery app.

"I've heard humans are like stray animals, if you feed them, they return," he says.

You laugh, "First off, who told you that? And Secondly, if I'm ordering the food, technically that would make you the pet I'm feeding."

He sighs but doesn't argue, putting another book in the pile of what you imagine are useless books.

"What do you want on it?" you ask him. "Pepperoni, veggies, or are you one of those weird pineapple people?"

"Cheese is fine," he mumbles.

"One cheese pizza it is," you say, ordering from a place nearby. "It'll be here in half an hour," you tell him.

"Wonderful," he says without a smile. "I was so hoping you would be here all night."

"You can always tell me to leave," you say getting up from the couch.

He looks over at you and says, "I could but I won't."

You sit back down, "Okay, I really need to ask... why are you doing this?"

"I'm bored," he answers with a shrug.

"You said that before," you tell him.

"Because that is the answer," he insists but for some reason you don't believe him. You feel like there is more to it but you can't figure it out.

"I thought you were supposed to be good at lying, being the God of Lies and whatever," you say.

"I am the God of Lies and Mischief, not whatever," he corrects you. "And I am not lying. Why else would I want to help you?"

"Because you like me?" you smile and he scoffs. "You have to admit, I'm pretty awesome."

"I do not," he says but you see a hint of a smile on his lips. "Now, will you please be quiet and let me think."

"Can do," you give him a thumbs up.

You put the pizza box on the coffee table and he sits next to you. "You owe me for half," you say. Before you can tell him how much it is he flicks his wrist and a brown leather wallet appears in his hand. He opens it, takes out a twenty dollar bill and gives it to you. "Wait," you say before he makes it vanish again. "Is that Thor's wallet?"

"Hmm," he opens it. "It would appear so."

"He's been looking for that for like a week," you laugh.

"I'm aware of that," Loki responds.

"Of course you are," you shake your head.

"Do you want to money or not?" he reaches to take the bill back from you.

You pull it away from him and put it in your pocket. "I'm going broke from this fucking thing," you tell him as J.A.R.V.I.S activates again.

"Ah damnit, I forgot to ask for plates," you say, ignoring J.A.R.V.I.S. Loki holds out his hand and two plates appear. "I've got to admit, you are pretty useful," you tell him. He smiles but then you add, "You would be more useful if you could fix my stupid problem though."

"I already told you the easy way is to just stop swearing," he takes a slice.

"That's no fun though," you tell him. "Plus, I really don't want Steve to win."

"What do you mean?" he asks.

You shrug, "Sometimes I do it more when he's around cause I know how much it bothers him."

He laughs, "I can appreciate that type of attitude."

"I thought you might," you smile. "So any progress with the massive pile of books or am I fucked?"

He looks up mid-bite and J.A.R.V.I.S goes off again. "I have not given up yet," he tells you but his attention is focused on the screen that popped up. "Do that again," he says. You sigh, and he flicks his wrist, putting another five dollar bill on the table between you.

"Fuck," you say and the screen appears again with J.A.R.V.I.S 's announcement.

"I'm sorry, the total says $47," he sounds shocked and you cringe. "I thought you said they only turned it on at noon."

"Yea," you take a bite of your pizza.

"You have said 94 swear words since noon," he says.

"Apparently," you shrug but he continues to look at you so you put your food down on the table. "When Steve and Tony first told me about it I was kinda pissed," you admit. "I might have lost a few bucks before I left Tony's office."

He tries not to laugh, keeping his hand over his mouth while you talk.

"Then I went back to my office to try out a few things," you tell him.

"Like what?" he asks.

You take a list out of your pocket and hand it to him. "What counts and what doesn't," you say. "Some words only count in a specific context so there's that."

"That still doesn't account for all of this," he says.

You shake your head, "I wanted to see how far it reached outside of the Tower." You sigh, "It's about half a block in all directions."

He laughs, "I imagine you were quite a sight trying to figure that out."

You laugh too, "You would think so but this is New York. I don't think anyone noticed the weird woman cursing every few feet, followed around by a hologram yelling at her."

"This city truly is very odd," he agrees.

"And yet, you still tried to take it over a few years ago," you shrug and take a bite of pizza.

"Technically, I was trying to take over your whole planet," he reminds you.

"That's not better," you tell him and he shrugs.

"I found a few spells I would like to try when we finish eating," he changes the topic a moment later.

"Think one of them will work?" you ask hopefully.

"I certainly hope so," he says. "Of course, I could accidently turn you into a frog if something goes wrong."

"That's not funny," you tell him.

"I wasn't joking," he smirks.

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Then he started showing up to class less and less, and rumors had begun spreading around. A few weeks before he dropped out, he had asked you if he could copy your notes that he had missed while absent, and you agreed. He told you to drop them off at the convenience store his grandmother owned, because that's where he spent most of his afternoons.

You did this every time he didn't show up to class; you'd write him all the notes neatly and bring them to him at the store, and in return he'd let you take whatever you want from the shelves free of charge. You always took the same thing (a can of Sprite, a packet of Sun Chips and a pack of cherry flavored twizzlers), and after a while he had started keeping the three items at the counter, ready for you to grab when you came around. One day he asked you if you'd like to stay a while before heading home, and you spent your afternoons sitting on the roof of the convenience store eating your treats and talking about whatever came to mind.

You never asked him why he wasn't at school, or even asked yourself why you'd go through all this trouble for him. Maybe it was because you've always been way too nice for your own good, or maybe because you had a little crush on him. One day when you were on your way to give him the day's notes, he'd told you he was dropping out. When you asked why, he only replied with, "Have to take care of my grandma."

You didn't stop visiting him after he left school, and would go to the store every other afternoon, quietly doing your homework by the counter while he restocked the shelves. He never explicitly told you, but he enjoyed having you around. You never asked too many questions and you were always nice to him. He would say maybe too nice to count as just being friendly.

As time passed the two of you grew closer and closer. You had met his brother Ash and occasionally helped him with his grandmother, who you had only met briefly before she became ill, when you were making your rounds to drop of his notes.

A few months later he had asked you out, and you said yes. You haven't looked back since.

That was years ago, and this was now. Now, you were sitting on the lid of the toilet in the dead of night with a pregnancy test clasped tightly in your right hand, while the other covered your mouth in shock. The two red lines stared back at you tauntingly as you felt your head spin with anxiety.

You were pregnant. You were pregnant with Fez's baby and you had no idea how you were going to tell him. You finished up, washing your hands and face and made your way to the bedroom you and your boyfriend shared. You hid the test in the drawer you kept your underwear in and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for your boyfriend to return home.

He arrived eventually, but you couldn't find the strength in you to tell him. You knew you had to eventually, you couldn't possibly keep this a secret for too long, but you were terrified. You had no idea what his reaction would be, and you feared the worst.

The night you finally did get the courage to tell him, was the same night he decided to almost kill Nate at a New Year's Eve Party. Your plan had been derailed once again and that night you found yourself sitting in the bathroom while you silently cleaned the cuts on his hands. You knew you couldn't tell him then, he was still on edge and filled with adrenaline from everything that had transpired. He was definitely not in the correct headspace for a revelation like that.

Everything after that night was an absolutely downward spiral.

With Faye moving in, Mouse getting killed in your house and ultimately Fez getting arrested after Custer had ratted him out, you found yourself at your wits end. He had been arrested and taken away right before your eyes, and you felt completely helpless as you watched him get dragged out of the now ruined house, with a distraught Ash clinging to you like a lifeline.

☆˚｡⋆

Fez was only given three years for drug possession with the intent to sell, considering he was a first-time offender. Three years may not have been much considering it could have been a much heavier sentence, but your stomach still churned at the thought that he would be away for that long. What about Ash and Marie? What about the store?

What about the baby?

You couldn't do this. It felt like the world was suddenly dropped on your shoulders as you watched the officers drag Fez out the court, and away from you.

You shot up from the uncomfy wooden bench and made your way to the closest bathroom, where you threw up the little food you managed to keep down this morning. When you finished you flushed the toilet and made your way to the sink to clean up. As you stared at your reflection in the dirty mirror, everything struck you at once like cold water being thrown in your face.

You were going to be alone. Alone and pregnant, having to look after Ash (who God willing, they don't take away from you) and his grandmother. You hadn't even realized you were crying until your reflection became blurry and your breathing erratic.

You went back home that evening, with a dreadful feeling deep in the pit of your stomach for what the future holds.

☆˚｡⋆

Fez had finally been approved for calls, and after not hearing anything from him in weeks you were ecstatic to finally hear his voice.

You had received a call from the jail where he was, following all the necessary steps and pressing all the necessary buttons before you got to talk with him. When you heard his voice say your name you had to stop yourself from breaking down right beside the telephone. It hadn't even been a month and you already missed him more than words could describe.

He said your name again in a questioning tone and you realized that you hadn't said anything in return.

"Fez?" was all you could force from wobbly lips as your grip on the phone tightened. "Yeah baby, it's me," he said quietly. "I miss you," you said trying your hardest not to sob. Gosh, you couldn't even think about asking him how he was doing, you just wanted him to know how much you needed him right now.

"I miss you too baby, so fucking much," he replied, "how are things going that side?" You inhaled sharply before answering. "I don't know," you answered truthfully, "I'm still trying to figure everything out right now. But okay I guess."

He hummed. "What about Ashtray, he around? Can I talk to him?" he asked. "Of course," you said before calling out to Ash, who was over the moon when he finally got to speak to his brother after so long. You saw him smile for the first time in months, and you were overjoyed at the sight.

When they were finished catching up he handed you the phone. "You still there?" you asked. "Yeah baby, but I only got like a minute left. Listen I'll call you back as soon as I can again okay?" he said. "Okay, goodnight. I love you so muh, Fez," you rushed out. "I love you too baby, so mu—"

He was cut off by the ending call and you placed the receiver of the telephone back on the wall.

☆˚｡⋆

You didn't know how to tell Fez you were pregnant over the phone, so you settled with writing him a letter. You told him how you were pregnant, and that you were planning on keeping the baby. A part of you already knew you were keeping the baby the moment you stared at the test in your hand. The thought of being pregnant now absolutely terrified you, but recently you had found yourself fantasizing about what the little one would look like.

Would it be a little girl or a boy? Would she have your nose, or your eyes? What would her soft hair feel like under your fingertips? What would her first word be?

You hadn't even realized you were already referring to the baby as "she". That was what made you realize you were already deadset on keeping the baby, whether Fez wanted to be apart of that or not, even though it pained you to think that way.

You nervously sealed the letter and sent it off, hoping for the best. Fez had called you the same day he received the letter.

"Hi Fez," you answered nervously.

"You bein' serious Y/N?" You knew exactly what he was referring to, so you took a deep breath before answering him. "Yes, I'm being serious," you said quietly. You could hear him sigh and curse under his breath before he spoke up louder. "How long you known?"

"From before the raid. But, before you say anything, I did want to tell you on New Years, but that shit with Nate happened and everything after that was a total shitshow," you breathed, "I'm sorry for not telling you earlier."

"Shit, it's alright ma I ain't mad, jus' a bit shocked," was all he said. There was a short silence between the two of you before he spoke up again. "I'm gonna be a dad?" he asked softly. "Yeah..." you said, waiting for anything to indicate how he felt about this. "I'm so sorry I can't be there wit' you for this," he said. That broke your heart. He wanted to there, wanted to be a father and the thought made your heart fill with joy.

"It's okay, we can't help the circumstances," you said. "Listen, I promise you imma be here wit you every step of the way, okay? Maybe not physically, but I want you to keep me updated on everthing alright?" he said. "Okay, I promise I will," you breathed, a smile stretching across your face. "Imma do right by you, baby, I promise. You ain't doin' this on your own."

You were sure your heart was going to explode. You were going to have a baby with Fez. The circumstances were the farthest from ideal, but you were hopeful that you were going to be able to do this. You were going to do this. For yourself, for Fez and Ash and for your baby.

☆˚｡⋆

The pregnancy was anything but easy, and it was even harder without Fez by your side. It helped that he showed his support in any way he could, like always calling and sending letters, checking up on you to stay updated with the condition of your baby. You were roughly at 3 or 4 months and by now the little bump was already visible.

Telling Ash was one of the things you were the most nervous about. You didn't know how he'd feel about a baby being bought into your living situation. You had sat him down and got straight to the point. When the words first left your mouth, his face twisted into an unreadable expression. He seemed to be mulling it over silently, before a small smile stretched across your face and he replied shyly with, "So I'm gonna like, be an uncle?"

☆˚｡⋆

The letters you frequently wrote Fez were on of the only things he looked forward to. He loved reading them, reading about how you were doing and everything that was happening with your body and with the baby growing inside you. It sometimes fet like he got to experience the pregnancy right there beside you, with the way he could clearly indicate your mood swings even in your writing.

The letter would quickly go from I saw an old couple sitting by the old park benches today and I broke down in tears to The guy at the drive-thru told me I couldn't order 'just pickels'. Imagine saying no to a starving pregnant lady!

When he received the letter with a small black and white attached to it, he nearly cried. The little ultrasound picture didn't look like much, you could barely make out the big white blob in the middle as a baby, an actual human being. He turned the picture around and saw that you had written our baby! in your messy handwriting, with a little heart at the end. That was all he needed to actually start crying.

That night he couldn't fall asleep at all. His mind was filled with a million thoughts that were consuming him. What if something happens to her or the baby while I'm in here? Will she be able to cope on her own? What's she gonna do once the baby is born?

What if I'm not a good father?

That's what was eating at him more than anything else. He didn't want to be like his own father, and his worst fear was eventually ending up like him, no matter how hard he tried not to. He didn't want his kid to hate him, he wanted to be the best dad he could be, because he already knew that you were going to be the absolutely best mother any child could ask for. He knew because he saw the way you cared for Ash, like he was your own little brother. He also knew that you had a big heart. When you loved, you loved with everything in you, so he didn't have an inkling of doubt about you being a good mother.

That was the night he had promised himself that he would be the best father that he could be for your child and that he'd give them the love and support he never received from his dad.

☆˚｡⋆

By now you had finally been approved for your first visit, and you were over the moon. The first time you visited you went alone, and when Fez saw you walking into the cold room, a slight waddle to your step and a cute little bump sticking out from your pretty pink sundress and cardigan, he swears he had fell in love with you all over again. You looked so beautiful, he thought, maybe more beautiful than you've ever been.

Maybe it was the pregnancy glow people would always refer to, or maybe it was the fact that he hadn't seen you in months, but he couldn't get the dopey smile off his face as you made your way to the table where he sat.

You were permitted to a brief embrace and kiss at the beginning and end of each visit, and when he wrapped his arms around you for the first time in months, and got to inhale the smell of your almost unfamiliar perfume, he didn't ever want to let you go ever again. His grip on you tightened a little bit and you had to will away the tears threatening to spill over your cheeks when you felt his warmth consume your body. It felt like home being back in his strong arms.

"You're gonna squish the baby," you said playfully, placing a kiss on his shirt over his heart. You honestly didn't mind at all; you'd let him hold you like this forever if you could. You eventually broke away when you saw the guard giving you a unhappy look from the corner of your eye. You sat down on the cold metal bench and he found his seat accross from you.

You so badly wanted to hold his hand while you talked to him. You wanted to sit next to him and feel the warmth of his body radiating off him and bury your face into his neck and hold onto him for dear life, but you couldn't.

"Y'know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" he asked. You absent-mindedly tapped your manicured nails against the metal table that separated you two, until the guard had given you a stern look from behind Fez, by now irritated by the repetitive sound. You retracted your hands, placing them in your lap and shaking your head. "No, I'm finding out at the next appointment," you smiled, "do you still have the photos I sent you?"

You were referring to the ultrasound photos as you had sent him in letters from all your appointments. "Of course I do," he smiled, "keep 'em in my cell, under my pillow." You smiled, looking down at your belly and softly running your hand over it.

"I think it's gonna be a girl," you said softly, as if it was some secret only the two of you had the right to know. "Nah, it's a boy," he replied and you rolled your eyes playfully, which made him laugh. "Of course you think it's a boy," you joked. He shrugged "I'm still gonna love 'em whether they a boy or a girl," he said, before adding, "but it's gonna be a boy."

You rolled your eyes at him once again, this time more dramatically, and rubbed at your belly. "I just know it's going to be a little girl," you said, and when you looked up from your belly your eyes met Fez's. They were filled with an immeasurable amount of admiration and love, and you couldn't help but shy away from the attention.

"If it's a girl, I hope she look like you."

☆˚｡⋆

The last few weeks of your pregnancy you had asked your mother to stay with you until it was time to go and give birth. By now your belly was fully formed and perfectly rounded, and you were waddling around the house like a lost penguin. Everything was hurting, from your feet to your back and pregnancy brain was truly kicking your ass. As much as you loved the beauty of pregnancy, you couldn't wait to finally get this over with.

You were on the phone with Fez when you had first felt it, the liquid running down your legs followed by a slight cramp in your abdomen. At first you were scared that you had peed yourself (your bladder had been your number one enemy recently) but it didn't take long to realize what was happening.

Without even sparing Fez another word you hung up and called for your mother. This was it, you were finally going meet your baby.

Ash was shitting bricks as he paced around the house while you and your mother gathered everything to head to the hospital. Soon enough you found yourself in the hospital, with your arms leaning on the bed trying to control your breathing. The pain felt like nothing you've ever felt before, and at some point you thought you were going to pass out.

A little while later and you had started to dilate. After what felt like a lifetime of mindless pushing and incoherent shouts, the screaming of your baby girl filled your ears. You looked next to you, to your mother who was still holding onto your hand tightly while her other hand pushed the hair out of your sweaty face. You were beyond grateful to have her with you, but your heart yearned to have Fez with you for this moment. When you got to hold your baby in your arms you cried like a crazy person. She was so beautiful, and your heart was already filled with abundant love for her.

☆˚｡⋆

You've had baby Eden at home for almost two weeks, when you finally got a call from Fez.

"How'd it go baby? Is she healthy? Are you okay?" he had asked as soon as he heard your voice greeting him. You pressed the phone tighter between your ear and your shoulder. "She's as healthy as can be, and she's beautiful, Fez," you said happily, as you rocked the baby in your arms to sleep. "You gonna send me a picture of her?" he asked.

"I already have a few taken, I just have to get them printed then I'll send them to you," you smiled, "she's so beautiful, Fez." You knew it was a little biased, but she truly was the most beautiful baby you'd ever seen. Her pretty long eyelashes that rested on her chubby cheeks and the pretty pink lips that would sometimes streatch into a toothless smile, or her cute button nose that would scrunch up when she yawned or sneezed. Everything about her was so absolutely perfect.

"I can't wait to see yall ma," he whispered. You could hear the slight sadness in his voice. "Me neither," you replied with a sad smile.

☆˚｡⋆

He had no doubt when you told him that Eden was a beautiful baby, but when Fez got to see a picture of her for the first time, all the air was knocked out his lungs.

That was his baby. His baby girl, wrapped tightly in a fluffy pink blanket and a little cap to match. He couldn't stop looking at the picture, his thoughts going at a hundred miles per hour. Fez hadn't seen a lot of babies in his life, but he was one thousand percent certain that Eden was the most beautiful baby he'd ever layed his cynical eyes on.

He couldn't remember the last time he prayed, but that night Fez found himself closing his eyes and praying. He prayed that you and your baby were kept safe, he prayed that his baby girl would stay healthy and happy, and he prayed for the patience to diligently serve his sentence, counting down the days till he got to hold you both.

☆˚｡⋆

You sat in shock as you read the contents of the letter over and over and over.

Fez was going to be released from jail earlier for good behavior. He was coming home, to you, to Ash and his friends and to his baby. He was going to meet his daughter.

Ever since giving birth you hadn't brought Eden along with you when visiting Fez. She was still very young, and you didn't want her driving the long distances back and forth. This unfortunately meant that Fez hadn't got to meet his daughter yet. That was changing soon though.

☆˚｡⋆

You were pacing back and forth in the house, waiting for Fez to come knocking at your door. Today was the day Fez was coming home, back to his family, back to you.

He had to go through several release preparations, then pre-release custody and then supervision. After he complete those steps he had a full release from the BOP system, and they arranged transportation for him to come back home.

He had asked you to not tell anyone about him coming home, he didn't want people bothering him and wanted to spend his first night in just the company of the people he loved the most. You had kept to your word and not told a soul, not even Ash, who you knew would soon be jumping out of his skin when he gets to see his brother.

You had Eden in your arms, gently rocking her back and forth to soothe her. She was a little cranky because she didn't get her afternoon nap in, and when she finally dozed off, you went to go place her in the small crib next to your bed.

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other nervously, before checking that everything was good. The food was cooked, the house cleaned and the bed covered in clean sheets.

The hard knock on the door almost made you drop the pie you had taken out of the oven. It was custard pie, his favorite. You removed your oven mits and sprinted to the door.

When you opened it, there stood Fez with a small smile on his face. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him as close to you as possible. He was here. He was back home with you finally and you got to hold him for as long as your heart desired.

By now you were sobbing into his neck, beyond relieved and happy to finally have him home. When you broke away he looked down at you, tears in his own eyes.

"Hi," he breathed. "Hi," you replied through a half sob half laugh. "You're home." "I'm home."

Ash had cried when he saw his brother standing in the living room awkwardly, and wrapped his arms around him tightly, almost as if he was scared of losing him once again. Once everyone had settled down somewhat, you decided to ask Fez the big question.

"Do you wanna see her?"

☆˚｡⋆

The room was dead silent as you pushed open the door and made your way inside, Fez following soon after. You could see the anxiety written on his face, evident in the slight tremble of his hands. This was a very big deal to him. He was going to meet his daughter for the very first time.

You made your way over to the crib, standing next to it and urging him to do the same. He warily moved closer to the crib, looked over the edge and down to where the little girl layed peacefully assleep. He could see the small rise and fall of her chest as she breath rhythmically, and the way her two small fists layed clenched tightly next to her body. If he listened closely enough he could hear her breathing, and the soft cooing sounds in between.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" you asked quietly, and he only nodded, not once lifting his gaze. "Would you like to hold her?" This made him look up at you. A part of him wanted to say no. He didn't want to hold something as precious as her in his hands. Hands that have done shameful and awful things, much too tainted to handle something as fragile and irreplaceable as her.

"It's okay, Fez," you said, sensing his hesitation, before reaching into the crib to pick her up gently. When she was secured in your grasp, you turned your body to him and he hesitantly reached out to take her from you.

Once she was in his arms the small tears began to fall from his eyes. You rubbed his back comfortingly as you watched him closely.

Nothing that Fez had ever achieved in his life measured even closely to this moment. No amount of money or fortune would make him trade this. This was it. This was him, being home and being able to be with you, with his family.

His grandmother had taught him the importance of family and looking out for each other. She taught him that the family he'd have would be the people he was willing to die for, and as he stood in the quiet room, his daughter in his arms and you by his side, he knew that he had found his family.

He looked over to you, and when his eyes met yours he saw the contented look on your face, behind all the happy tears.

“Die,” you grumbled, burying your head into the pillow.

You could hear laughter from the door, “Finally becoming one of us,” Ivar, you think, laughed.

“Or worse. she’s becoming like you,” Sigurd’s teasing led to more cursing, some thuds, and Ubbe running to split up some kind of fight as you sat up in bed. This was going to be a long day.

-

“Why do I need to learn this?” you whined as Hvitserk helped you load an arrow onto your bow.

“Well if you like to eat you need to learn how to shoot,” Ubbe said as he and Sigurd leant against a tree to watch your struggles. Ivar was sat just a few feet away on a cut down tree.

all boys were noticeably behind you as they watched the arrow sink into a tree three feet from your target. Hvitserk helped you load another arrow before making the mistake of joking to a very hungover, very fed-up woman. “How are you getting worse?”

You huffed, spinning around still holding the bow making all the boys duck. Even Hvitserk jumped away, “Watch where you point that thing!” Sigurd said, hands covering his face.

“Scared of some little girl?” Ivar laughed. Though it stopped when you turned the arrow at him. He held his hands in the air in mock defence, “I thought we were friends,”

“Don’t test me,” you grumbled, turning back to the target. “This was so much easier on the Wii,”

“What’s a Wii?” you sighed as the four asked in unison. Instead of answering you ignored them, rolling your shoulders back before taking aim again. Breathe in, breathe out, and release.

Thud. The arrow hit the edge of the target. “You’ll get there- “Ubbe tried to speak but you cut him off.

“I did it!” you almost screamed, jumping up and down. “Ha take that!” you said, thrusting the bow up like you’d won the Olympics making the boys laugh.

“Please if we were hunting not only would you scare away the deer, but you only would’ve shot his ankle,” Hvitserk said, as he pulled out another arrow for you to use.

You rolled your eyes as you loaded it yourself this time, all be it with a slight struggle without his wins, “Don’t you guys ever celebrate the small victories?”

“What’s the point of that?” Ubbe asked with all seriousness.

“For motivation? To be happy?” you said, like it was the most obvious thing as you lined up your shot. Breathe in and release. “See!” you said, the arrow now slightly closer to the centre than before, “Positive thinking gets you places,”

“Yeah, like the bottom of a pile of dead bodies,” Ivar chortled.

You turned around with a sickeningly sweet smile, “Would you like to be one of them?”

A small smirk formed on his face as the other boys laughed. You felt Hvitserk place his arm over your shoulder, “Oh you’ll fit in nicely soon enough,”

-

By the end of archery practise you were now able to hit the target each time. Not the centre but still. Progress was there. Then it was there turn to do their real practising. Watching Ivar hit the bullseye with his axe each time as he glared at Sigurd made you thankful guns weren’t invented here. You almost told them about them but even if they were nice to you, you didn’t need to give them anymore ideas.

By the time you got back to Kattegat the sun was beginning to set and dinner was nearly ready. Bjorn joined you once again. Apparently, this was unusual for the Ironborn however it was Hvitserk who told you this and you quickly learned he was a massive gossip. Not that you were complaining. However thankfully for you Ragnar and Aslaug were not joining you. Its not that you didn’t like them, but Ragnar asked you a million question while she had a way of staring through your sole.

Somehow you ended up between him and Ivar and any time someone told a story your legend you didn’t understand he was quick to whisper in your ear. “What lies are you telling her brother?” Bjorn, who was sat across from you, asked as he was telling a story of his latest travels.

“That you truly are as tough as you look,” Hvitserk smirked. Despite not having Ivar’s rage or Sigurd’s instigation, Hvitserk was clearly able to hold his own.

Bjorn hummed disapprovingly before turning back to you, “How unfortunate you travel all this way to be stuck with these fools,” he said, glancing round the table, “Not a real man among them,”

“Maybe,” you said, deciding if you were going to be surrounded by argumentative Vikings you may as well try fit in, “Or maybe we have a different definition of a real man,”

“And what would your definition be?” he asked, putting his elbows on the table, and leaning in closer.

His eyes were locked on yours, so you decided instead to let yours look him up and down before sitting back, “Why? Do you need some lessons on how to be one?”

The younger Ragnorsson’s sniggered while Ubbe watched the whole scene carefully. Your eyes stayed locked on Bjorn’s until he sat back in his chair with a smile, “There’s hope for you yet, little one,” he said before dropping the smile, “Though I don’t recommend questioning me again,” The sight made your blood run cold but you did your best to smile, bringing a cup of wine to your lips as the meal soon continued.

-

Somehow you managed to escape from the brothers while they were distracted by finding a new crate of ale. While drinking wasn’t exactly restricted in university, they drank like it was a sport and there was no way you could keep up.

Even though you now wore a Vikings dress and apron there was some things from home you couldn’t let go of; modern underwear and sleeping in a comfy t-shirt. It was the one you had arrived in though admittedly you were going to have to wash it and your other clothes soon. The issue was that meant asking one of the brothers where or how to wash it and you had no desire for them to see these items. Well not yet at least.

 When you got back to your room you slipped out the starched dress and into the soft cotton shirt and got under your furs about to sleep. Before you could however the door opened. “Ivar?”

“My brothers bore me,” he sighed as he crawled over to your bed. You pulled the furs slightly closer, realising you only had the t-shirt on as your cheeks flushed. Ivar took no notice as he pulled himself up to sit beside you, “You were the only interesting one there,”

“A little flattery goes a long way,” you said but he quirked his head at that, “It’s an expression where I’m from,”

“Is flattery not a good thing?” he asked.

You shrugged, “Depends. My professor told me flattery and insults raise the same question; what do you want? Though I think he stole that from someone,”

“Well, all I want is your company,” he answered and at rare moments when you were alone Ivar didn’t look blood thirsty and terrifying. In fact, he seemed kind of gentle as he let a small smile escape. You couldn’t help letting out a light laugh, “Though I don’t understand how someone can steal words,”

Again, you shrugged, “I guess our people just value different things,” you said as a silence washed over you both.

After a few moments Ivar broke it, “I don’t think so. I think, deep down, all we all want is to be safe,” he said it quietly, as if he was worried someone may eaves drop.

It broke your heart a little though, “I suppose but I would’ve said happy,”

“Happy is a dangerous emotion,” he said, staring off into the distance, “everyone craves it, so they chase it, but they assume there is only so much of it to go around so they steal it. I do not need to be happy. Just content,”

You weren’t sure why you grabbed his hand, but you gave it a soft squeeze. His cheeks tinged pink, but you pretended not to notice, “I think content is a different kind of happy. Maybe if we were all so content with it, we could all be happy,”

“Maybe,”

“It’s a dangerous word,” you said.

Ivar snorted, “How can a word be dangerous?”

“How can happiness be?” you shot back with a small smile.

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Vikings Taglist (part one)

“Is anything not alcohol related?” you joked just as Bjorn walked in. You’d honestly expected him to have breakfast with his father, but Bjorn said nothing as he took a seat beside you. You knew he was tall but him sitting shoulder to shoulder with you made you realise just how not only tall, but wide he was. The man was built like a bear.

“Hello?” Hvitserk said, waving his hand in front of your eyes, “I swear none of you appreciate the morning,” he tutted.

“Die,” Ivar grunted, earning an agreement from Sigurd. You chuckled a little at seeing them finally on the same side.

Still, you shot Hvitserk an apologetic smile. “Sorry Hvitserk I just spaced out,”

“Spaced out?” He asked, even Bjorn looking down in confusion.

“Like got distracted?”

Hvitserk nodded in understanding, but Bjorn wasn’t satisfied, his head tilting even further in confusion. “Why do you say ‘like’ all the time? You always say like at the start of everything its strange,”

“I guess it’s like,” you said, pausing to chuckle at the accident though he didn’t laugh, “I don’t know it’s just how we talk where I’m from. Like how in every conversation someone threatens someone’s life here,” you said, finally earning a crack of a smile from him, “Where I’m from that would be the weird thing,”

“It’s not as if we mean it,” Hvitserk said.

“It’s brotherly love,” You turned to look at Ivar and Sigurd who both just kind of shrugs.

“It’s something all right,” Sigurd muttered. Ivar’s glare said enough on his behalf.

You ignored them both and turned back to Hvitserk with a laugh. After all they were brothers after all. It was all just talk. Surely. “So, if I go wake Ubbe up right now he won’t actually cut off my hand?” This time they all shared a concerned look. Okay maybe not.

“Take back up with you,” Ivar said. “Just encase,”

You sighed and rolled your eyes at the dramatics of all of them “Seriously? Right come on then,” you said, nodding your head at Ivar as you stood.

For a moment you actually saw a slight look of fear wash over his face, “But I’m still eating,” he tried to weasel his way out of it making Sigurd laugh. That was until you turned to him, hands on hip and his eyes suddenly dipped to the floor and the laughing stopped.

You threw your hands up, “He cannot be that bad!” you protested as you headed to Ubbe’s room.

As you headed for the door you heard someone’s chair scrape against the floor following you. You knocked on the door before quickly pushing it open, “Rise and shine sunshine- “

A loud groan came from the lump under the furs that was presumably the grumpy Ubbe everyone had warned you about. He quickly went to sit up and you jumped back when you saw the axe in his hand. Right back into what you soon realised was Bjorn’s chest.

Realization dawned over Ubbe’s face when he saw you, “Oh,” he said, dropping the axe onto the furs, “Sorry I didn’t realise it was you,” he mumbled, collapsing back into bed.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” you mumbled, stepping away from Bjorn and hoping he didn’t see the blush covering your cheeks from the previous closeness. Then they went even redder when Ubbe sat up in bed and you realised he had nothing on. “I’m just gonna,” you span around, trying to leave, before almost smacking right back into Bjorn’s chest. You almost gulped before looking up at him, “Sorry,” you mumbled, rushing out past him, not noticing the smirk on Bjorn’s face or the way Ubbe laughed at your antics.

-

Ivar had finished eating by the time you’d returned, and you very quickly insisted on him showing you the market like he’d promised last night. He almost jumped at the chance and debated flinging his knife into Sigurd’s chest when he insisted on joining you both. However, you weren’t out for long before Aslaug sent a thrall to fetch you.

Aslaug had arranged for you to receive another dress for tonight’s festivities since “our guests represent our honour,” and you weren’t going to turn down the clean clothes.

The boys had gone out to do some training leaving you to get ready. You debated doing some makeup, you did have a couple items in your bag after all. “What is that?” Aslaug asked as she and a woman you recognised as Helga walked into the room. You’d been sat at a table in the middle of the house to utilise the little light inside and hadn’t heard them walk in, “Its eyeliner,” you said, showing them the black on your eyes, “Like how you use charcoal on yours,”

“Can I watch?” Helga asked, excitement written on her face as she sat across from you, “What’s this?” she asked, picking up the liquid blush, “It’s so bright!”

“It’s blush,” you laughed, “It’s for your cheeks,”

Aslaug sat next to her, eyeing over the cosmetics, “Like berries?”

“Kind of?” you said, gently taking it out of Helga’s hand so you could put it on to show them,

“See?” you asked patting it in, “Same sort of thing but this lasts a bit longer,”

“Can we try some?” Helga asked and even Aslaug looked interested at the idea. For the next while you helped them apply some moisturiser and blush to ease them into it. you were honestly scared to show them your eyeshadow pallet considering how Helga reacted to a pink blush.

then it was your turn. Apparently, the hair problem was long overdue. Helga was gentle when she brushed but you winced as Aslaug took over the intricate braids. “Do all girls fuss where you’re from?”

By the time she was done however you had to admit it looked beautiful. “You almost look like one of us,” there was almost fondness in Aslaug smile.

Helga looked up with a large grin, “You’ll get used to the pain. You looked wonderful though,”

-

Walking into the bustling hall by Aslaug’s side was both comforting and terrifying. On one hand it meant no one would question you but on the other, everyone was staring. When the boys finally returned Hvitserk was the first to greet you and you happily accepted the ale he offered.

You were sat at a table with the five of them, Hvitserk and Ivar on either side of you, and Bjorn, Ubbe, and Sigurd across from you. However, something the group were quickly realising was their tolerance to ale was far higher than yours. “Do you not drink where you’re from?” Ubbe teased as your cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

“We do! I swear I’m not a lightweight. This stuffs just strong!” you laughed.

Apparently, the laugh was infectious as soon they were all giggly. All but Bjorn but for once there was a permanent smile on his face, “What’s a lightweight?” Bjorn asked.

“Someone who can’t hold their alcohol,” you told him, very matter of factly making them all laugh at your drunken confidence, “You lot wouldn’t last one second on a night out at my campus. I’m talking tequila shots, body shots, Jello shots,” you began to drunkenly list off as the boys tilted their heads in amused confusion.

“What’s a shot?” Hvitserk asked making you face palm.

“Oh, I have so much to teach you,”

-

Unfortunately, while the boys were great company and had adjusted well to you being in their groups your presence seemed to disrupt everyone else. It was Hvitserk who first noticed everyone staring at you, but you were too tipsy too care. However, as Ivar and Ubbe drank more both began to glare at the men whose eyes stayed too long.

Despite all the boys warning you about Ivar’s temper they all seemed to ignore Ubbe’s even when he insisted on you all leaving because a drunken Viking tried to hit on you. You however were happy enough to follow them all the edge of the lake and sit on the cold sand with a flask of ale being passed around.

As you were all walking down to the lake Hvitserk, and Sigurd were in a heated debate over which slave girl was hotter while Ubbe carried a giggling Ivar on his back. somehow, you’d ended up at the back of the pack, stumbling down the hill beside Bjorn.

“Woah,” he gasped, grabbing your waist before you could stumble and fall over a tree branch. “Steady,”

“Careful Bjorn,” you grinned up at him, holding onto the arm he offered you so you wouldn’t risk falling again, “Someone might think we’re friends,” you teased.

A smirk quickly showed on his face, a teasing light in his eyes, “Oh? Are we not friends already? I am wounded,”

“Friends don’t try kill their friends,” you pouted but you weren’t able to keep the charade up for long before grinning again like a Cheshire cat.

Bjorn just rolled his eyes with a smile however, “We weren’t friends then. We are now,”

“So, you won’t try kill me again?”

Another eye roll, “I won’t try kill you, no,” he said, shaking his head as he helped you to where the rest of the group had begun to sit.

“Pinky promise?” you asked, pulling out of his grip and extending his arm.

His eyes narrowed, head tilting, “What’s a pinkie promise?”

“Its where,” you said, stepping closer to grab his hand, “You lock pinkies,” you said wrapping yours around his, not noticing the smile on his face, “And promise something. And if you break it, I get to break your pinkie,”

“So, an oath?”

“An oath with a threat,”

“Of breaking a finger?”

“Pinkie specifically but yes,” you grinned, “So do you promise?”

“I promise,”

“Good,” you grinned, pulling your pinkie away from his grip before turning to join the group. You plopped down on the ground next to Ivar who was staring off into the sea, “Hi,” you grinned.

Ivar turned to you, laughing when he saw the wide grin on your cheeks, “Hello,” you could hear a slight drunken slur in his words. “Want some?” he asked, passing you, his ale.

You gladly accepted it, taking a drink of the alcohol you first hated but soon grew to love, “Thanks. You’re always so sweet to me,” you smiled before taking a drink, missing the way Ivar’s cheeks went red at your sweet words. Sigurd however didn’t want you to miss it.

“Aww look at the cripple,” he teased making Ivar scowl, “He’s blushing like a baby,”

You passed Ivar his drink back, noticing how tense his jaw was and quickly checking to see how close he was to his axe. After all you didn’t need to be here when the fall out happened, “Why do you care so much Sigurd?” you asked, rolling your eyes.

Everyone’s eyes seemingly went wide, shocked that your bubbly attitude had so quickly dropped. “you don’t get it,” he tried to brush off, “you’re not from here,”

“Then explain it to me,” you said, sitting up straight, “Explain what’s so funny about Ivar’s legs. Ill wait,”

“Well its just,” he tried to stutter earning a snigger from Hvitserk, “I don’t know it just is. Why do you care?”

You were honestly a bit hurt by that, “because he’s, my friend?” you said it like a question because the answer seemed so obvious.

“Okay well I’m sorry,” Sigurd shrugged, his eyes focused on the ground.

Luckily the night quickly moved on from the brief ugly confrontation however Ivar couldn’t get the reaction out of his mind. He was so used to fighting his own battles that he never even expected someone else to back him up, let alone speak up before him. Despite his bruised ego Sigurd thankfully stayed civil for the rest of the night.

A few hours passed before you all decided to walk home. You were in a world of your own at this point, your eyes fixed on how bright the night sky was with stars with no city skyline or factory gases to ruin your view. You didn’t even notice the stares from the boys or hear Hvitserk and Ubbe talk about how you stood up to Sigurd. For the first time this week you didn’t have a care in the world.

Part five

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