Cast the Mind Bondage spell

You're not ready.

man the rate at which this is getting notes at is alarming you dweebs really like communism and sinning huh

Play a powerful wizard who has sworn to only use their magic to perform sick skateboard flips.

Play a powerful skateboarder that swears that their sick skateboard flips are, like, magic.

Use your magical skateboard tricks to impress local youths into joining your cult. First, a sick kickflip; next, dominate person.

Name a conspiracy theory superior in raw power to “there are no actual forests on Earth"

imma need some context on that cause WHAT?

“forests” = minuscule form of what trees on Earth can be, basically saplings “mesas” = not landforms, but petrified ancient tree trunks IIRC the theory goes that all forests on Earth were destroyed ages ago and it takes them ridiculous times to regrow, with those giant mammoth redwood trees just being the oldest ones that have grown the most

Who/what cut down the trees to make them mesas, for what purpose, and with what tools?

I’ve actually looked a little deeper into this, and the short answer is that humans cut them down with future tech. This theory is a sub-theory of flat earth, as it makes use of a lot of the same basic assumptions about the world, most importantly that our entire worldview is a construct created by the elite that controls our world from the shadows. By keeping knowledge from us, they can treat us like sheep without expecting resistance. Part of this theory is that we had advanced machines and supercomputers way back, even in the ancient times, and that all history older than about 100 years is a lie crafted by this elite in the wake of a nuclear war in the 1800s.

What would we use all that wood for, and where did it go?

Rock is wood. Or rather, wood becomes rock as it grows and the trees reach massive heights. They essentially mined the trees for useful minerals and metals, and for the construction of whatever secret structres they use to control us.

Steal dnd settings from conspiracy theorists every day bc this shit is too good

Idea a friend used, that I borrowed, that all my gamers use now. Best used by experienced players with a grasp on the setting though. Everyone at character creation comes up with a fact about the world. Optionally, every 4 levels or so, they can add another. In one game we had: Player1: A year before the game starts, the Gods all sent avatars to the world. They have yet to say why. P2: The gods perform functions that actually make the world work. Example: The sun god actually rides a burning chariot across the sky every day, and if stopped from doing so, there will be no sun that day. P3: A group of people is trying to outlaw worship of a deity (DM choice) in an attempt to remove said deity from the world. Another game: P1: Nobody knows why Dwarves disapeared long ago, like in skyrim. P2: Humans are animal level intelligent, to dumb to play. P3: There are occasional mutations, where sheep grow steel wool. P4: There is a kobold empire, doing quite well. (I made it a business empire, they were basically Amazon) A few others that come to mind, but I don’t remember the specific game: All Ninjas have Scottish accents. There are metal construct versions of all Huge and larger critters that do everything the flesh ones do, just as metal constructs. Everything is counted in base 8 instead of base 10 (Vetoed) Something believed in for a long time, or by a large number of people, gains power. The Spear used to hold up a mercenary bands flag for the past 300 years? Minor Artifact. The skull of the first chief of a 600 year old orc clan? Talks to the current chief. An ordinary everyday non-magic blade that was somehow used to stop a rampaging wizard? It’s non-magical because it’s eating magic.

Create your world together, which allows you to split the strain on your magical energies.

Adventure Time

Implement magical artifacts from fiction into your game

Summon functional artifacts to aid you in real life.

When you begin to meddle with powers beyond your grasp, beware that the people in your life will inevitably also find power and be lured to the grandeur. Yes, even your cat.

Polymorph a dragon into a dog and keep it as a pet

Polymorph a dog into a dragon and keep it as a pet

Polymorph Satan into a dog and keep him as a pet.

Polymorph everything into ashes with pyromancy.

Polymorph your minions into dragons to create a dragon army

Polymorph yourself into your ideal form.

Let the power of love give you a +2 on strength checks when near your character’s s/o

@probablycriticalrolerpgideas let a kiss from your love interest give you inspiration

Create a to-scale miniature version of your game world, including enemies, npcs, and items.

Use illusions to craft the visuals of your setting, to convince your players they're actually there.

all of them.

damn u right

not the living construct races 

aro-aces belong in the lgbt community and can describe themselves as gay if they want to

Also it’s gnomes

Uh its definitely Aasimar

okay but have you considered: dragonborn

Changelings are genderqueer personified, they are the most queer race.

Why bother looking up new monsters when you can just double the amount of goblins-per-encounter each time the players level up?

Why bother looking up monsters at all when you can just let the world’s dangers throw themselves at your players?

I will bring an over abundance of Pepsi to the session. Or if it’s over the internet I will spam the party with images of Pepsi!

There will either be a lot of loot or a TPK.

you’ll have to wait until the tal’dorei campaign guide is released ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You’ll have to wait til I can sort all my universes and plot hooks into a playable narrative that doesn’t need railroading

I'll run the game tonight, in your dreams. To join, add a drop of blood to this post.

Save on battle maps by using your words to make a theatre of the mind more vivid than your players have ever seen

Save on battle maps by mentally projecting a battlefield directly into the minds of your players.