Dull

As always, ** indicates smut!

Completed WC: 120,800

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

FIVE

SIX

SEVEN

EIGHT

NINE

TEN

ELEVEN

TWELVE

THIRTEEN

FOURTEEN

FIFTEEN

SIXTEEN

SEVENTEEN

EIGHTEEN

NINETEEN

TWENTY

TWENTY-ONE

TWENTY-TWO

TWENTY-THREE

TWENTY-FOUR

TWENTY-FIVE

TWENTY-SIX

TWENTY-SEVEN

TWENTY-EIGHT

TWENTY-NINE**

THIRTY**

THIRTY-ONE

THIRTY-TWO**

THIRTY-THREE

THIRTY-FOUR

THIRTY-FIVE**

THIRTY-SIX

THIRTY-SEVEN

THIRTY-EIGHT

THIRTY-NINE

FORTY

FORTY-ONE

EPILOGUE

Sitting down on your bed, you stared down at the drops of blood that stained your jeans. The trip back to your apartment was quiet. You were broken, there was no music or friends that could really cheer you up from this. So you just drove home in silence and slowly dragged yourself to your bedroom. And you’ve just been here, defeated. 

It was as if all the memories from your childhood came flooding in at once, overwhelming every part of you until it was so big that it left you feeling entirely frozen. All those years with conditioned fear and anxiety, trying again and again to be different. You thought if you changed enough, if you could change his mind; maybe, just maybe he’d love you the way you wanted. It didn’t matter what you did for this world or all the worlds out there, it wasn’t enough. You couldn’t do it. 

You couldn’t even bring yourself to lift your head when you heard that wonderful whooshing sound of the Tardis landing in the corner of your room. He was always careful not to crush anything too important when he landed. He cared about you more than you could ever truly know, enough to even keep in mind not to park his Tardis on any of your plushies or books that had gotten tossed onto the floor. 

“You’ll never believe what I stumbled across!” His voice chimed through after that charming little squeak of the Tardis door opening.

 Normally, just his presence was enough to bring you out of any bad mood. Part of you wanted to perk up and hide this pain so he never saw you so low. You were good at keeping these parts of yourself hidden from everyone but the more you stared at those little stains on your jeans, the less strength you had to put up a front. 

The Doctor stepped out from the Tardis, holding some strange contraption he definitely pulled out of nowhere. “Well, you might believe it, I’m surprised you believe half the things I show you. Any-who, I was-” He began his usual rambles but when his eyes landed on you, he went quiet. 

He took in the sight of you sitting on the bed, eyes that seemed almost hollow. And he knew immediately. If anyone knew true sadness, it was the Doctor. Your nose had dried blood that stained your lip down to your chin, cheek swollen from what could only be from being slapped. Someone hurt you and he was going to find out who. 

“What happened?” he asked, his voice taking on a concerned tone to mask the anger he felt inside. He set down his odd little contraption as he took a few tentative steps towards you. His mind was running a million miles per minute coming up with a story that would explain your injuries. 

When you didn’t reply, The Doctor closed the distance to be in front of you. He looked over you, his chest feeling tighter, his hearts beating faster. He was already prepared to fight any battle for you, to keep you from any harm but he needed answers. And more importantly, he needed to comfort you. 

He bent down enough to meet your eyes, reaching a careful hand out to your cheek. His hand was warm and just a bit calloused but soft nonetheless. His eyes examined your face. He knew from just looking that a bruise would form and that you were hurting. He swallowed the tightness forming in his throat.

“Tell me what happened,” The Doctor said, forcing his tone to sound calm. His voice was almost stern but kind. His gaze intense as he searched for answers within your eyes. 

It was enough to make you speak up. Your eyes flickered down, never truly meeting him. “I...” you started but the words sat on your tongue. You swallowed the sad lump that had been sitting on the back of your throat. “I had to visit home.” The words came out low and hoarse. “I went back to see my parents.” 

His brows furrowed. It took a moment for the Doctor to process. How could that result in injuries like this? Who did you run into? What did you get yourself involved in? At first, he thought about maybe it was one of the countless enemies he had. Being with him meant you’d be a target, he knew that much. However, It didn’t take long for it to connect in his mind based on that sad look in your eyes and the small quiver in your lips.

“Your parents did this?” He whispered with disbelief, brushing his thumb over your swollen cheek as he tilted your face for him to get a better look at your bloodied nose. 

“My dad did.” You correct with a small sigh. You felt ashamed to tell him. You felt weak. The Doctor was so great, so brave and strong. He never allowed himself to be defeated, always trying to find a way and here you were, broken down by something so... small in comparison to what he had dealt with. You felt so small under his gaze, like you were disappointing him by allowing this to affect you. 

You let out a shaky breath. You looked into his brown eyes, your face twisting with embarrassment but more than anything, pain. Your eyes flickered back down, lowering your head in shame.“I was being stupid. He was upset because I-” 

“No,no, no.” The Doctor’s jaw set tight, having to manually control his breathing to stay calm. “There is no reason for a father, a man, anyone... to hurt someone like this.” he said quietly but firmly. He moved his other hand to cup your other cheek, guiding you to meet his gaze. “Don’t even say something like that. You were not being stupid.” 

You close your eyes, shaking your head. “No, but I was.” Your voice trembled under the weight of your guilt and humiliation. “...I thought-” Your eyes shut tighter, a shaky breath forcing itself from your chest. You grit your teeth, trying to keep that guttural sob down in your chest.

The Doctor shifted, kneeling down in front of you to keep eye level. His thumbs lightly caress your cheeks, trying to comfort you through your story. His brown eyes full of concern, brows knitted desperate for answers but not wanting to push you too far. 

“I thought he could change.” You admitted, your eyes watering more than you could handle. “I was naive and caught in the moment. After all the things we’ve done, all the people we’ve helped... I thought I had some power, some influence... something special. I thought if I tried to speak with him again, he’d listen. I thought he would change.” 

A tear rolled down your cheek and a weak little hitched sob escaped your lips. After a short breath, you continued. “But I was wrong. I was foolishly hopeful...” you sniffled. “And... just stupid to think I could make a difference.” 

The Doctor shook his head with a soft sigh, wiping the tear from your cheek. It hurt him to hear you speak so lowly of yourself. It hurt him to know someone had brought you down so much. “Listen to me,” he said softly. “You are not a fool for hoping. You are not stupid for trying. And it is not your fault he did not change.” 

Your eyes searched his. Your eyes were watery and breath trembling as you held back from outright bawling from his needed comfort. You spent so long alone, hiding this pain and burying the feelings the abuse had formed so deep inside you that it felt like it was rotting you to the core; that having someone who cared so deeply for your well-being and your happiness was foreign and yet...entirely welcome. It was like a relief you so desperately craved.

“It is not your fault he cannot change.” He whispered. “Some people are so caught in their own darkness, they want to pull everyone down with them.” The Doctor’s gaze was intense and serious. A sight that wasn’t exactly rare but it was still monumental. “Don’t let him pull you down.” 

You closed your eyes, allowing more tears to fall. “I just don’t understand why he hates me so much,” you finally gave into your sadness, allowing yourself to cry.. “All my life, I’ve just tried to be exactly what he wanted, what anyone would want in their child. I tried to be good and kind. To be something he could be proud of. I just want to help people, to be useful, to be worthy...but no matter what I do, I’m never good enough.” 

The Doctor’s jaw clenched slightly, hearing those words come from you. It was a side of you he never saw and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like seeing someone so bright and kind, saying such cruel things about themself. How could you even think of yourself in such a way? He’d never forgive your father for making you feel this way. 

“You are good and kind.” he said softly, brushing some of your hair from your face. “There are people all throughout the galaxy who can sleep peacefully, who are free to live their lives however they want because of you, because you chose to help them.” He said gently. “You don’t need to prove yourself worthy. You already are. And it had nothing to do with me or him, you are completely brilliant on your own.” 

“And your dad is an idiot if he cannot see that.” He said. He meant it seriously but there was a hint of lightheartedness in his voice. “...and you do not need to make him see it either. It is not your job to change him. And you should not change for him.” The Doctor caressed your cheek with his thumb, soothing that stinging pain. 

“I ask you, Don’t go back. Don’t give him any more power over you. I know you want things to be different but the change that must be made, is one you need to make for yourself. You need to know when to walk away...” He said, low and serious,  “And I am telling you, now is the time.” 

You teared up more, biting your lip to keep in a small sob. “I know you’re right. But I’m scared. I don’t know how to be without them... It doesn’t even feel possible to walk away. They’re my family.” Your hands clenched in your lap, trembling over the idea of ending things. 

You spent your whole life forced to believe that family was everything. You had to be loyal, to do everything you could for them even when it exhausted you to the bone. Walking away felt selfish but you were so tired. You knew he was right. You couldn’t do this anymore. You didn’t want to do it anymore. 

“But you are loved and cared for by so many. And by me more than anyone. You’re not alone. I am here for you.” The Doctor whispered softly, leaning close so you could see the sincerity in his eyes. “And even if I am not here, there are so many people in your life that will help you. You don’t have to do this alone. You have more than just that family.” 

You nodded, letting out a small cry. He watched you break into sobs, unable to contain it any longer. He could only imagine the amount of pain you were in. He loathed the fact that you held in those sobs, conditioned not to let out your feelings. How many years did you suffer alone? How long did you hide this pain? He couldn’t bear the thought. 

Slowly, the Doctor moved his hands from your cheeks, to your shoulders, guiding you into an embrace. His arms wrapped around you, one hand rubbing your back gently and the other cradled the back of your head. “Shh, it’s alright.” He whispered, moving closer to rest his chin on your head. “You’re alright.” 

You sobbed in his hold, allowing yourself this moment of vulnerability. Even though you were exposing your deepest pain, you didn’t feel weak or scared. You just felt relieved that the Doctor met that openness with only love and care. He wanted the best for you and you could feel that. 

The Doctor gave you that moment to cry, to grieve and let go of all the hurt deep inside you. He knew he couldn’t fix this, not right away, anyway. But he’d be there for you no matter when you needed him. He held you through the deep sobs and shaky breaths, whispering soft things to calm you down.

“Breathe,” he said softly, shifting back to cup your cheeks once more. He looked over your face, taking in your flushed cheeks and watery eyes. He made a sad smile. “Sometimes we need a good cry, that’s all... Just breathe through it.” he cooed softly, he made a show off breathing in and out for you to mimic. “In and out.” 

You made some small breaths, slowly easing your breathing and your tears subsiding. The tension in your body slowly released, focusing entirely on him. 

“No more tears, okay?” He wiped any leftover tears with his thumbs. “There, now give us a smile?” he smiled with his teeth. 

You couldn’t help but smile, even if it was little. He was so silly and you always found that endearing. Even at your lowest, he could make you feel better. You loved that about him. 

“There we go! All better!” The Doctor’s smile grew seeing you cheer up a bit. “You’re going to be okay.” 

You let out a teary laugh and smiled weakly.  “God, I’m a mess.” You sniffled and wiped your eyes with the small of your palm. You felt like you could breathe again, a little less burdened by the pain in your face and in your heart. He just had that effect on you, on anyone really. “Oh...we’re all a bit of a mess in the end.” The Doctor smiled, his tone a bit lighter. “Now. Can I take a look at your nose?” 

When you nodded, “Good. But first, let's get you cleaned up,” He hummed while you let out any shaky breaths still lingering in your system. He pulled out a handkerchief from the pocket of his long signature coat.“Hold still for me, alright?” 

The Doctor was gentle, wiping the dried blood and left over tears from your cheeks with soft practiced motions. Sometimes it was easy to forget he was actually a doctor and knew how to handle things like this. His hand rested on your jaw to keep your head still while he worked to clean up the injury. He didn’t want any blood or pain on your face.

Once cleaned,  He pulled out his glasses from his pocket, and moved his hand to hold your chin gently. “Lets see here.” he tilted his head to an almost silly degree, making weird hummed sounds as he observed your face. “Alright...” he murmured, still studying your injury. He took off his glasses, folding them closed. “It doesn’t look broken, but it’s still pretty bad.” He clicked his tongue as he pocketed his glasses. He stood up straight. 

You frowned slightly, touching your nose and winced slightly. “It feels pretty bad.” You sighed. “But then again, I just sort of feel bad in general.” 

When the doctor held his hand out to you, your gaze flickered up to his face. He had a warm smile on and his eyes glimmering with that special look he got when an insane idea formed. “What’s that look for?” You asked with a small chuckle, taking his hand without needing to even think about it and allowed him to pull you to stand. 

“Well.” He dragged out the word with a small flick of his head, “if my companion is injured, we might as well stop by a planet with a really good hospital. Just to make sure you’re alright.” He smiled, squeezing your hand. “And then, oh... I don’t know, we might make another stop. Or two.” 

“Or three.” you smiled, him grinning in response. 

“Oh, you never want to stop on an odd number. Odd numbers are so....odd!” He smiled cheekily, leading you towards the Tardis. “We might as well make it even! In some cultures, Four is a lucky number, you know!” 

You let out a sweet laugh as he pushed the door open. “So one quick trip to an alien hospital and then four more stops?” you smiled as he pulled you inside the Tardis and closed the door behind you. “Isn’t that a lot?” 

The Doctor chuckled, pulling off his coat and tossed it onto the railing. He jogged up to the console. “Oh, well, maybe. But you can handle it.” He grinned, pulling a lever as the Tardis began to make a low rumble. “Besides! It’s just a quick stop to heal those injuries and then we can go on the real fun!” He looked at you with an excited twinkle in his eyes. “It’s a really fancy hospital too!  They’ve got technology to heal the worst of the worst with just a simple button! We’ll be in and out!” 

You laughed, rushing over to the console, “Can I at least pick one of our trips?” you smiled. He stepped around you, flipping some switches before turning to face you. 

He was so giddy just to see you smiling again. It took everything inside him not to drop everything and storm into your family’s home and give your father a taste of his own medicine. But right now, he just wanted to focus on you and ensure you were okay, safe and happy. 

“Of course.” He nodded like it was obvious. “Where would you like to go?” He asked. “Or when? Or the combination of the two?” 

You laughed lightly. You made a show of pretending to think but you already knew your answer. “Somewhere new.” You smiled. 

He beamed, letting out a little hummed laugh. “Right. Somewhere new.” The Doctor turned to the console and pushed a button. 

And with that, the Tardis began to make that sweet whooshing sound.