this creature is perfect. there is nothing wrong with it.

mother fucker unlimited …

Oh wow Christmas is next Tuesday? I think this is the least I’ve cared about it my whole life

why dippin dots always at obscure places. never just at the store. just wondering

i’m going to the zoo for some dippin dots y'all want any

note to self: read the books you’ve already got you ass

anyone else having a…hmm. what’s the word? Really Shit Time? 

so I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my female presenting nipples…

I hate it when I’m really nice …. And then people are just not that nice ? The audacity

Dudes in 18th century would b like “if u don’t respond to my marriage proposal by next winter I’m going to enlist in the war and die .”