I'm Bad Jokes McFuck @dargons-and-birbs - Tumblr Blog

…i’m listening.

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toastbutteregg

nyasarin

neurotypical-karen

My friend works two jobs and doesn’t tend to specify which one he’s talking about, so he’ll say stuff like “a lady died at work today” and the rest of us have to play a fun little game called Nursing Home Or Yankee Candle.

neurotypical-karen

Today he goes “someone threw a candle at me at work >:(” and I think I can finally reliably pin down one of his anecdotes but nope! It was the wretched nursing home!!!!!

libraford

Listen. I'm not a great embroiderer. But when you're stuck in bed and some bullshit politics is happening and you wanna stab something a thousand times it's a pretty good way to eat up a couple days.

consentcactus

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dduane

Tom Homan is upset that ICE’s raids in Chicago aren’t as bad as they could be because many people know their rights.

“Sanctuary citizens are making it very difficult to arrest the criminals. For instance, Chicago, very well-educated. They’ve been educated how to defy ICE, how to hide from ICE. I’ve seen many pamphlets from many NGOs: ‘Here’s how you escape ICE from arresting you’; ‘Here’s what you need to do.’ They call it ‘Know Your Rights.’ I call it ‘How to escape arrest.’”

(snicker) CRY MOAR.

cozycryptidcorner

I don’t think the main goal is mass deportation. I’m at work rn and will elaborate.

cozycryptidcorner

Currently there are huge detainment camp being built in Texas for ICE. Slavery is legal in the case of prisoners. “How will we have field workers if they’re all in detainment camps?” Girl they will still be field workers, but under the thumb of for-profit prisons owners. Will elaborate further w/ but do you see what I’m saying??

cozycryptidcorner

Once more: if slavery is legal in the case of prisoners according to the constitution, if Texas (who has the largest amount of profit prisons) and Mississippi both have plans on building large scale detainment camps for undocumented immigrants to hold them indefinitely as per one of Trump’s executive orders, and if there is a large labor vacuum as undocumented immigrants are arrested and in hiding, what do you think is about to happen?

deepseasmetro

like im sorry college students. youre paying for a piece of paper that says "please pay me more than 50k a year". thats it. thats the entire point.

wlwocprincess

And most of the time they don’t even say yes!

deepseasmetro

AND MOST OF THE TIME THEY DONT EVEN SAY YES

2242706

amazing pic of a momma lion eating her baby after she found out he used her credit card to buy Vbucks without permission. nature is brutal, yet beautiful

ashenmind

you can’t say that

ashenmind

ah

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dostoyevsky-official

trump is 78, putin is 72, netanyahu 75, biden 82, lukashenko 70. if you kill yourself now, you'll never see them die. keep going

plaingreekyogurt

they should invent skin picking that is good for your skin

gokusupersaiyan999999999999999

trividium-in-unum

His username is:

xHarlemShakex

1. A. 14. N.

2. B. 15. O

3. C. 16. P

4. D. 17. Q

5. E. 18. R

6. F. 19. S

7. G. 20. T

8. H. 21. U

9. I. 22. V

10. J. 23. W

11. K. 24. X

12. L. 25. Y

13. M. 26. Z

24 8 1 18 12 5 13 19 8 1 11 5 24

X H A R L E M S H A K E X

schakira

flipchild

[tumblr] is a beautiful website where all kinds of people come to diversify their echolalia

brawltogethernow

thestuffieguardian

It's wild to me how many mothers and fathers hate their own children. Like. That's a mini version of you you dumb cunt

thegraciestation

this and parents who convince their children it's their own fault that their unlovable.... like why have kids

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checkadii

THERE WAS A PRIDE PARADE TODAY???? TO CELEBRATE LGBTQ+ NEWLY WEDS WHO REGISTRRED THEIR MARRAIGES TODAY SINCE THE SAME SEX LAW WAS PASSED OH MY GOD

checkadii

THATS SO BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭

checkadii

Fucking GOOD FOR THEM DUDE!!! They traveled from 3AM to register their marriage at the bang rak district office . AND THEY WERE THE FIRST COUPLE!!! Look at how happy and beautiful they are I’m so,,, aaa

checkadii