danny !

It came at night. When he was unable to distract his mind with other things. When he was lying alone in bed, surrounding curtains drawn not quite tight enough to ward off the lurking monsters under his bed.

Remus heard it. The increasing beat of his heart. The opening of his fear-stricken eyes. The stifled cries that followed. Tears that never seemed to cease until the sun was finally back in the sky. Of course he did. He always heard everything, especially in the small space of their shared bedroom.

It didn’t take superhuman senses to know things were not as okay as Sirius insisted they were. James and Peter had sensed it as well. They had also heard the muffled tears, but they knew their friend. They knew Sirius wouldn’t want to talk about it, not to them.

Tossing and turning followed by a string of quiet nos and then, finally, the usually cheerful boy would begin to sob.

Remus didn’t know much about what had happened the night he ran away, other than it was bad, but he had a good idea of what Sirius had been going through all those years.

Lacero. Tormensia. Impulsum. Crucio. Those were just a few of the curses Sirius was more than familiar with, having had them inflicted on him by the very people who were supposed to love and protect him.

Remus had seen the scars and even tended to Sirius when he returned to school with fresh wounds. He’d wiped away the blood and pinched healing potions and salves from Madam Pomfrey.

It wasn’t long before Remus found his legs moving for him as he quietly climbed from his bed and began to tiptoe across the room. When he reached the side of Sirius’ bed, he hesitated as he reached out for the curtain.

Finally, he allowed his fingers to curl around the fabric and he pulled it back, open just enough for him to climb in. Sirius, in this time, had rolled over to his other side, turning away from Remus as he sniffled to himself, halting his tears.

Remus had expected Sirius to tell him to go away so he was surprised to find the older boy didn’t so much a move when he climbed in behind him. He drew the curtain closed again, sheltering them both from the world outside and after a moment, carefully placed an arm around Sirius, who still didn’t make a single sound. It seemed to bring some comfort to him though, because he did not cry again that night.

The next morning, when he awoke, Remus was already back in his own bed.

This became a sort of routine for them after that, although neither spoke of it. Not while they lay in bed in each other’s arms, nor when they resumed their day as normal come morning. There was a silent understanding between them, a hushed promise.

Every night now Remus found himself in Sirius’ bed. He’d creep over after James and Peter were asleep, getting into bed with his best friend in an attempt to keep the nightmares at bay.

They still came though, no matter what he did. Night after night. Memories of pain, suffering, anguish. He’d feel the burn in his scars as if they were still fresh and weeping bloodstained tears. Fear would strike through him, his eyes bursting open with the image of his mother’s cruel wand still flinging vile curses at him fresh in his mind.

“Crucio!” she cried, turning her wand on her eldest son.

He screamed, knees buckling as he collapsed to the ground. His father scowled down at him, his greatest failure. Regulus tried to look away as his brother’s body contorted on the ground, twisting in pain. The perfect son, a coward who could do nothing in the way of saving his brother from torment.

Sirius screamed until he no longer recognised his own voice. He screamed still as his voice began to give out, pained cries fading to silence. Still, tears continued to pour across his pale cheeks.

His body jerked forward when he finally broke free, the nightmare still all too real. He was sitting up now, hands moving to wipe the tears from his face. Remus was already sitting beside him, hand resting softly on his back as he coaxed him out of the past.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, voice oh so gentle, “I’m here… I’m right here.”

It was the first time either of them had ever spoken a word during their recent nighttime visits.

He knew the other boys had woken. This time he’d been crying out in his sleep, “No… no… mother… mother, please... please, stop… it… it hurts…”

They had heard him. They too were sitting upright in their beds. They’d have already come to him if they hadn’t realised Remus was already there, already by his side.

Only when his breathing slowed back to normal and they heard rustling as the other two boys lay back down, did Peter and James finally allow themselves to go back to sleep.

They knew now so there was no need for Remus to go back to his bed in the morning. Sirius began to grow used to the warmth beside him, engulfing him entirely when his sleepy eyes finally peeled open.

Still, no one spoke of it. Sirius didn’t like to be pitied, after all. So, when the sun finally rose, things went back to normal. They laughed and joked and got into all sorts of trouble.

Then the shadow of night fell over them again but no matter how bad the nightmares got it was okay because he was there. And, after a little while, they stopped coming so frequently.

It all became so much more bearable because he wasn’t alone anymore. He wasn’t trapped in that godforsaken house surrounded by people who loathed him. No, now he was with his friends. He was with Remus.

They never spoke of their feelings. Not once during all of it. They probably wouldn’t for some time still. It was a difficult thing to put into words, especially after everything they’d been through. Still, even without words it was known. To them and to their friends.

He rolled over, already feeling calm again after yet another painful dream. Remus was already awake, his sleepy eyes softening when Sirius’ head fell back down onto the pillow beside him.

With a gentle thumb, he wiped the tears from the other boy’s eyes.

Without words, Sirius shuffled closer, nuzzling his head under Remus’ chin. The younger boy pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his warm frame, and began to run soothing fingers through raven hair.

“Thank you,” the elder mumbled, although there was so much more he wanted to say.

Later. He would tell him later. Tell him how thankful he was. Tell him how safe he felt with Remus by his side. Tell him how much he loved him.

For once, the blanket of darkness that came with the setting of the sun didn’t seem quite so bad. Because the stars weren’t alone anymore. Now, they had the comfort of the moon.

In the morning, James smiled down at his friends. Not the least bit surprised to find the two of them entangled from head to toe, completely wrapped up in one another as they slept. Sirius snored quietly into Remus’ chest, arms draped loosely around him.