THERE'S A WHOLE AISLE FOR LA CROIX

I hate it when you get woken up from good dreams. Like Bitch, I was about to start a bar in my backyard with Freddie Mercury. What the fuck am I up for.

wine tasting but instead with hard liquors

do i detect a hint of sharpie marker

You forgot gays

Op wants to fuck Tony the Tiger

what about it, blurry?

Psst, hey, Marilyn Monroe’s image as a freewheeling sexpot was a carefully constructed lie. The real Marilyn Monroe was a roiling tragedy and her life was an indictment of our society as a whole. She was orphaned after her mother had a schizophrenic breakdown, bounced around between foster homes where she was sexually abused, and married a 21-year-old at 16 to get out of being sent to an orphanage. Hugh Hefner published nude photos of her without her consent that were taken when she was 23 and desperate. She suffered severe anxiety and depression, which she coped with by drinking and using barbiturates, and was already a full-blown addict when she became famous in the mid-50s. Her career was one of exploitation, condescension and alienation, and she killed herself at 36. That Hugh Hefner, a man who was at best an unpleasant footnote in her life, felt entitled to be buried next to her is one more humiliation in a pop cultural landscape we should all be ashamed of.

the solution to toxic callout culture