participation trophy wife

Item: Orb of Gorilla Summoning

Boat-tailed grackle (Quiscalus major)

age aggressing to 65 so i can retire

there’s at least one mean bone in my body

imagine a park bench underneath

the classic trope of "what if you went to a town and it was weird" never fails

*becomes a knight strictly because the local bard is cute, and I want him to write songs about me*

*becomes a bard strictly because the local knight is cute and I want to write songs about him*

*becomes the village idiot because of a chemical deposit in the well behind my house*

*becomes the evil wizard because the local strong knight is cute and I want to get beaten by them.*

*dumps my evil chemicals in the well behind some random dude’s house*