part-time soulmate, full-time problem

problematic rage gap. one partner tries to bring nuance and understanding to a tough situation. the other wants to blow up the earth about it.

problematic rage gap. one partner tries to bring nuance and understanding to a tough situation. the other wants to blow up the earth about it.

mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon

that's MS. substance abuser to you

sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

please hurry up in reblogging this I wanna jorts it before someone puts it in one of those heartwarming tiktok slideshows

i was like 'what could jorts it possibly mean' but as with many things clicking the original post immediately clarified the situation

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

i bet it feels good as fuck to be a piece of sourdough bread that gets dipped in olive oil with various seasoning & herbs

wait here while my manservant fetches the anti-elf rifle

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

love it when whatever is wrong with Lou Wilson synergizes with whatever is wrong with Ally Beardsley

women don't want me, fish don't fear me. I pass through life like a smooth stone, making no impression on the thin parchment that is fate.