DaliMom

We want to travel and see the world but it can be very intimidating to do so with kids. We decided to test the theory by traveling to Lebanon since it is familiar. My younger sister had a baby in February and Joe has been asking to see grandpa. I was going to do it alone since my husband has work and it would be hard for him to take time off. The idea that I am going to need to handle 2 boys alone on a 15-hour trip is very scary. Joe was not going to be much of a problem much on the flight. The worry was Bill the family tornado. He does not know how to sit still. How am I going to be able to handle him alone on a 10:00-hour flight I didn't know.

We booked with EgyptAir because it was the most reasonably priced flight during June. It was a daytime flight. Boarding was at 11:30 AM. Since Bill is only a year old we were hoping to get the bassinet area. Few days before the flight we called and asked for the seat but no luck. They have a first come first serve policy. We had to be at the airport by 9 AM to guarantee the bassinet area which they refused to give us because Bill was over 6 months. We got to the security and one of Bill’s Heinz pouches beeped. This means they had to follow protocol and made me empty my purse and backpack completely so they can check everything.  I put everything back and was ready to leave when I noticed Bill had emptied his Cheerios on the floor. I go on my knees cleaning up as a father was yelling at his child to stop eating them off the floor. Now we are finally ready to go to the gate. Something was wrong with our ticket that they had to move our seat to a different one. We got lucky and it was a bassinet seat. It had so much leg space. When I got to that area all the people sitting there were young which means I should have been able to get it when I requested it. For some weird reason parents with kids that needed those seats with extra legroom got stuck in the middle.

The flight was not the worse. I was so happy because Bill was able to walk around and play a little due to the extra space in front of us. But what I thought was a blessing turned out to be a curse! People were not respectful that the extra leg room was meant for the kids. It was a place for the bassinet to go. Each side on the plane has 4 washrooms. 2 in the beginning of the row where I was sitting and 2 towards the end of the row. People would come to use the washrooms find their side full instead of waiting or going to the other washrooms on the same aisle, they would ask me to move the baby and cross over us to get to the other side. I was letting people through every 5-10 minutes. It was very frustrating! Due to this Bill was not able to sleep cause I kept moving so much to let people through. In the 10 hour flight he slept 2 hours and cried about 4. We landed with both kids asleep. No matter what I did to wake Joe up he was too exhausted. I was carrying the backpack on my back, I had Bill in the carrier, I had my purse and I had to carry Joe. I am standing waiting to get out of the plane and no one is letting me through. I thought with all the heavy lifting someone would give me a turn but I was wrong. I got out of the plane and asked for my stroller but there was no luck.

Apparently unless I bride the guy standing there I won’t get it even though it is marked to be delivered as soon as I leave the plane. He asked me where is my final destination and ran to get me A stroller. It was a big black one and it wasn’t mine. I showed him a picture of it and he went back to get it for me. During this time I was not able to carry anymore and Joe was standing there crying. I get my stroller and start walking to the gate. In the Egyptian airport, you go through security twice. After you leave the plane and right in front of your gate. We sat in front of the gate and I let the kids play a little around me. Some guy started telling to hold my kids hands because apparently, he is worried about my kids more than me. I was exhausted and not ready to hear any bullshit so obviously, I yelled at him and caused a seen.

They announce that the gate for our flight is open so we stood in line but it was still closed for another 15 minutes after the announcement. At this point, Bill wanted out of the stroller and is crying. Joe is tired and complaining as we are standing in front the open/closed gate!

  The flight from Lebanon was only an hour and 15 minutes. Joe wanted to color so we opened the tray and it was disgusting. I cleaned it for him. He was distracted during this flight but Bill cried most of it because he was overly exhausted. We land in Lebanon and guess what? No stroller either!

In the past 20 hours, Joe had slept an hour. I have Bill in the carrier Joe is on the floor throwing a tantrum wanting me to carry him and I am trying to fill out their paperwork. We go stand in line to submit everything and get our bags. Joe is still crying and begging me to carry him. The Lebanese airport has no air conditioning and the temperature outside was 35°C (95°F). People in the line felt bad for and let me skip the line except for one person who would not let me go ahead of her. People kept telling her that I have kids and they are crying just let her pass and she totally refused. 

Finally, we get the suitcases and the stroller. We  meet my family and the kids get all the love and hugs they needed. Everything was good again. It was a long exhausting trip full and crying and screaming kids. A couple of time on the trip Joe would ask me to go back home because his dad was home. Even though he was so excited to see his grandpa he wanted to sacrifice that to be with his dad again. I almost cried once due to the constant crying! Now it is over and done.

The things I learned on this trip:

Never trust EgyptAir to give me to stroller near the plane.

Always have change if passing by Egypt for a layover. Bribes are the way to get your basic rights.

You meet nice people when you are in a pickle. I had people that skipped me as I struggled and I had people that helped me watch one of my kids as I tried to calm down the other.

Sometimes you need to be rude. I should have stopped people from going over us. It made it a much harder trip because Bill wasn't able to nap.

No matter how hard it is there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Eventually, the flight ends and the good parts begin. 

The fear of the flight was worse than the flight.

Make sure the kids get as much sleep as possible on the plane to avoid a meltdown later during the trip when I am already tired.

I am writing this post to tell our story. I am writing it today because for the third year in a row I forget my anniversary and Abe remembers. He always surprises me and has something planned. 

In 2010 there was the Israeli/Lebanon war. We had to leave home and find somewhere else to live. My father is a Canadian citizen so we were able to move to Canada in July of that year. I have been in the country for a week and I needed to register for classes at the University of Ottawa. As I am standing in line I hear some people behind me speak Arabic. I turn and there he was. He was in the science department doing a favor for a friend who was in Egypt for the summer. He was registering for some classes for her. We got to talking and he mentioned that he knew a lot of Arabs. He took my number to introduce me to some people so I do not feel lonely.  

The next couple of years we randomly bumped into each other. I would be coming back from a geologic field lab work. My hammer on my side and mud is on shoes. I am sticky and just ready to go home.  He would invite me to join him and his friends but I would decline.

When Facebook introduced an app where you send people anonymous messages.  I got a message that said:” you’re cute”. We played a game where I would try and guess who was on the other end. This lead us chatting every day all day. We could not meet at the time because he was visiting his parents in Egypt. I remember checking my inbox every 10 minutes to see if he answered. I was so excited but this eventually died out. 

A year later he starts inviting me to any outing that he organizes with friends. I would always decline because I was working 2 full-time jobs 7 days a week. I simply never had the time. I noticed he kept invited me even though I kept declining.  So we got to chatting and decided to go out for coffee but changed it to ice cream. We met at university and went to the mall. We spent the whole day together. I knew in my heart I wanted to be around him as much as possible. There was something about him that made him feel just right. We started going out and I met him, friends. They told me that every time they tried to introduce him to a girl, he would open my Facebook page and tell them that he wants someone like me. I took Abe to meet my parents so that my dad knows who I am hanging out with. At the end of the day, my father dropped Abe off. He told him that we should just be friends. This is something that wasn't an option for me. I really liked him. Abe is fast like that. He met me and 4 years late BAG! he asked me out!

In May 2011, his parents and my dad decide to meet in Canada for the first time. The plan was to do an engagement in October. The day our parents met was something unexpected. It went from an informal meeting to asking for my hand in marriage. My father was shocked. He said that this situation needs a cigarette. After smoking my mother-in-law said it was time to wear the rings. My father looked at her and said this needs another cigarette. This changed from an informal meeting where I was in jeans to a full engagement. We wore the rings and took pictures then my-mother-inlaw asks me if I am sure Abe is the one. If there is any chance I might change my mind. I told her I was sure he is my one. Then she processed to explain that they would love to attend the wedding and since they leave in a couple of weeks they would be very appreciative if we get married before they leave. My dad looks at her and says this needs a whole cigarette packet. 

I found my dress and send it to a seamstress in 4 hours. Everything we booked was owned by Lebanese people who organized everything between them. It was so smooth. Everything worked out. The wedding was fast and rush but fun. They scammed us with the cake and gave us something cheaper than what we paid for. While taking it to the kitchen they dropped it. The cake was mushed and crocked on one side. We had enough money to book half a hall while the other half was booked for a 12-year-old's birthday party. Halfway through the wedding, they stop the music and the little girl goes on stage to read her poem. Even though all this happened it was an amazing night.

After being married for 5 months I was given a 30 days voluntary departure notice from the Canadian government. This was because the lawyer we hired didn't do the proper paperwork. We ended up living apart for a year and a half. This was not easy. Us Arabs we do not have empathy. We do not have a filter. The first question I was asked every time I met someone was:" Aren't you afraid he will cheat on you?". I spent my time there explaining to people that this was not a worry of mine. I was starting to fear that it was getting to me. When people mention it enough you start thinking about it. I knew who I married and I knew it was not an option but the constant questioning can get to you sometimes. I was finally allowed back in the country in 2012. 

We had a rough go. Now, 7 years later we have 2 beautiful boys who make my life better in a crazy way. I am poking for a third child but Abe is still not sure. We had our ups and downs. Abe is a person that I can not imagine my life without even though I forget our anniversary. He stands by me and supports me every step of the way. He is an amazing father to our boys. He teaches them every day that being silly and fun is ok. We don't have to take life so seriously all the time. 

Mother's day is here. Lets celebrate it with smiles and laughter. These are my favorite mother's day quotes and a couple of Poems that touched my heart. The Quote by Bob Monkhouse about keeping him fresh gets to me every time.

1-  Mood Ring:

“When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.” - Jeff Shaw

To be fair with us Arabs, it wasn't much of a mood ring. It was more like a flip-flop that never missed.

2- Playpen:

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” - Erma Bombeck

I missed out on one of those. If you own a playpen, use it. It seems to work.

3-Good example consequences:

“Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.” - William Feather

4- Kids exaggerate:

“My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate.”  - Unknown

5- Gifted Kids:

"I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me." - Calvin, "Calvin and Hobbes"

6- Parents and shoes:

“The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.” -John J. Plomp

My kids are only 1 and 3 years old and I am already starting to feel the effects of that.

7- Shoveling snow:

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." - Phyllis Diller

I agree as a result I will wait until it stops snowing before I consider cleaning. My floors are always sticky no matter how many times I clean them.

8- Pick one:

"Dear Mom, You get mad at me for not acting my age, and then start crying because I'm 'growing up too fast.' Sincerely, pick one!" - Unknown

9- Best house appliance you can get for your home:

"Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother." – Beverly Jones

10- Informing kids is very important:

"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective" - P J O'Rourke

This is effective parenting. I will put it to the test and see its glory.

11- They say experience is important:

"The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed" - Unknown

I can't wait to be unemployed and get to sleep in past 5:30 AM

12- Boys:

"Definition of a boy: a noise with dirt on it" - From Not Your Average Dictionary

This is here because I have 2 boys and it totally makes sense to me. It is the definition I have been waiting for my whole life.

13. Noise and Dirt:

"Definition of a boy: a noise with dirt on it" - From Not Your Average Dictionary

This is here because I have 2 boys and it totally makes sense to me. It is the definition I have been waiting for my whole life.

14- Staying fresh:

" My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh" - Bob Monkhouse

This cracks me up every time.

15- Who is the boss:

" Kids are definitely the boss of you... Anyone who will barge into the room while you are on the commode is the boss of you. And when you explain to them that you're on the commode and that they should leave but they don't? that's a high-level boss" - Tina Fey

What type of a boss is it when he calls in his little brother and they have a meeting while you are asking them to leave.

16- Message to my mother-in-law:

"Dear Mother-in-Law: I don't need you to teach me how to handle my children. I live with one of yours, and he needs a lot of improvement!" - Uknown

17- How to get your kids attention:

"The quickest way for a mother to get her children's attention is to sit down and look comfortable" - Unknown

18- Marriage:

"I've been married for 14 years and I have 3 kids. Obviously, I breed well in captivity" - Roseanne Barr

19- You are in control:

"Dance like only your kid is watching, cook like no one will scream they hate it, and sneeze like you won't pee your pants" - Shriekhouse

We all know that ship ihas sailed. I sneeze I pee! 

20 - You Know Me - Holly Giffers:

Mom, you know the worst of me, My weaknesses and follies, 

I know you’ve seen me poop my pants and cut the heads off dollies, 

You know all my most embarrassing moments, You know that I’m a nut, 

So what can I do to repay your love... 

...and make sure you keep your mouth shut!? 

I should start keeping a journal of things that could come in handy in the future.

21- You’re da Bomb! - Unknown

It’s mother’s day, So thank you, Mom, 

You ought to know That you’re da’ bomb!