i can make it go boom

Arryn Zech is two years older than I am

Billie Eilish is two years younger than my youngest sister that I helped to raise

“It’s also easy to be scummy”/“god only knows the # of brainless things I’ve said and done”

NO KIDDING

What is it these days with people continuously claiming to be “Progressive” and then coming up with billions of blatantly illogical excuses and justifications to NOT PUT THEIR MONEY WHERE THEIR MOUTH IS

No “Progressive” person would willingly give money to Rooster Teeth after the past TWENTY YEARS of open and unabashed racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, and yes, pedophilia IN THEIR CONTENT, as well as their MULTIPLE scandals involving sex-pests, groomers, wife-beaters/attempted murderers, right-wingers/gun-toters/covid-deniers, and again, PEDOPHILES/RAPISTS, and then also anti-union exploitative and abusive workplace practices that have left people with permanent physical disabilities and/or clinically-diagnosed PTSD, while others talk about having been pushed towards SUICIDE

Oh but your favorite Actor can’t possibly have any flaws! Your favorite Actor is so totally perfect and innocent! Your favorite Actor doesn’t have video evidence floating around of her being ableist as fuck and more video evidence of her shilling sexist and dangerous weight-loss products in addition to this video where she brings up a seventeen-year-old’s sexuality out of nowhere and expresses disappointment at her belief that the seventeen year old wouldn’t be attracted to her, only to gasp and hurriedly turn to the camera to urgently announce ‘not that I’m into seventeen-year-olds’ before smirking mischievously, licking her TEETH (not her lips; who wants to make the excuse that licking your TEETH is a sign of 'dehydration’) and grinning devilishly at her friends before crowingly cheering “ONE MORE YEAR” before she’s “Allowed” to thirst after the kid in front of a camera

certain people just continue to prove that they will completely and utterly fold and abandon every moral they ever claimed to hold as soon as they’re faced with even the EASIEST of choices, such as “should I celebrate my fave ship becoming canon by purchasing fan-made merch from other queer fans who love it? OR should I give my money to the extremely homophobic racist ableist sexist Capitalist Corporation that named itself after a homophobic slur and has been involved in MULTIPLE scandals involving sex-pests, pedos, and rapists, as well as horrific levels of workplace abuse and exploitation, and as part of my attempt to justify that choice, I’ll pretend to think it’s just 'dehydration’ making my Idols say 'brainless’ things?”

there was once a little boy.

he is born disabled. his body hurts, and he can’t walk properly the way the other children do. he doesn’t understand why. he’s a little boy. but he plays with wooden boats and pulls toys on a string.

somebody makes him a tunic. they sew ducks onto it in red and green and yellow and blue. the bright colours of a child.

the little boy is eight years old, and he’s going to be king now. there’s a big ceremony about it. he doesn’t really fully understand what’s going on, because he’s eight, but he wears the tunic with the brightly coloured ducks for the occasion because he loves it. look at his ducks! aren’t they great?

he is a child. the adults around him manipulate and coax him to gain more power for themselves. he still plays with toys.

as a teenager, not yet an adult, he fathers children. they do not survive. he’s not even old enough to have full agency in his job and is still being manipulated, but he had babies and they died.

he does not make it to his twenties. at eighteen or nineteen years old he dies, and is buried. his babies, so tiny, are buried with him.

and so is his tunic with the little ducks that he loved so much he kept it long after it no longer fit.

yeah i think that like. especially with historical figures in your mind people who were kings and queens or important nobles were adults. even if you know how old they were it doesn’t really click. it doesn’t seem real

but then you get something like a little tunic with brightly coloured ducks on it and it hits you like a fucking truck that this really was a little kid and no matter how far removed you are a little kid is still a little kid. their brains didn’t develop any quicker back then. he was just as developed/mature mentally as any 8 year old now. he had cartoonish animals on his clothes and he played with toy boats and probably terrorised the local cat population.

tutankhamun was a child and he didn’t make it to adulthood because he was unfortunate enough to be a very important child

his dad died when he was 8. he saw his own babies die when he was still just a boy himself.

tutankhamun had a little pair of sandals with ducks on them. he had earrings decorated with ducks. he kept those, and other items of childhood clothing. some toys. keepsakes. things he loved, and treasured. he kept them all in a little wooden chest. the chest… was carved with ducks.

and that little duck chest, filled with things he kept from his childhood, was buried with him. maybe he was keeping them for the little babies who did not make it. maybe they just reminded him of good days and fun times.

WITH PLEASURE

(greyscale makes it hard but the duck head is on the right above the toe strap. always takes me a while to find it too)

There is something wrong with that ship, and the ship company’s trying to hide it.

because they will find out their girlfriend of 3 years (that they were about to propose to) went off to a random farm in minnesota, hours away from were the two of them built a life together, and she decided to just… stay there without even consulting him.

and then he decides to take a trip to make sure she’s okay, because this is generally alarming behavior, and then sees that she literally fell in love with her ex within one (1) week- and he wasn’t there, but you can TELL that they’ve made out a couple times.

and then she just strings him along for a few days, until fucking christmas eve, when she just breaks up with him and is like “i know we used to have the same values, but i’ve never loved you. mark makes me happier than you ever did. and you ONLY care about work, whereas i like christmas and fun, like a Good Person.”

Give Us Roses While We’re Still Here Transgender Day of Remembrance // Nov. 20th