The Vial

when i was a little kid i got bullied on the playground so my mom asked me “what did jesus do when people were mean to him?” and i thought about it for a second and then started crying and screamed “he DIED”

damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people

I can’t not reblog this

take four years of spanish so you can speak spanish at a 3 year old level

IT REALLY SUCKS WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE MORE THAN THEYLL EVER LIKE YOU

i like being obsessed with things so that im distracted from how much i hate myself

WHY DID YOU ANYWAY

science

this sounds like a conversation sherlock and john would have

i was jerking off and full house was on in the background and i looked up and made eye contact with bob saget as i came and im so ashamed

my parents bought me this rly shady bottle of Coke from mexico should i drink it 

i’m gonna drink it

update: apparently it’s supposed to be the original recipe it tastes kind of weird 

EVERYTHIG NIS VER Y FUNN Y AND I AM V ERY AW AYKE ALRIGHT LA LRHAIGTH LARIGHTAL RIGHT LALTH IRHTALTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

didnt the original recipe have cocaine