when i was a little kid i got bullied on the playground so my mom asked me “what did jesus do when people were mean to him?” and i thought about it for a second and then started crying and screamed “he DIED”
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@d4rkvi4l
when i was a little kid i got bullied on the playground so my mom asked me “what did jesus do when people were mean to him?” and i thought about it for a second and then started crying and screamed “he DIED”

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
when u haven’t masturbated in ages and
damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people
Back in prehistoric times it was just a free for all. God was putting antlers on everything and made 7 foot tall gophers with wings, it was a mess.
Look at this poor, impractical bastard.
The prehistoric era was God’s Deviantart stage.
Now he just hides all of his stupid-looking OCs in the ocean where no one can find them.
I can’t not reblog this
take four years of spanish so you can speak spanish at a 3 year old level
If you’re feeling small today I dare you to sit up straighter, look someone who scares you directly in the eye, take up room at the dinner table, make yourself bigger, when ‘sorry’ laps at the back of your tongue, tries to pick up after you, remind yourself that your existence doesn’t demand an apology, that you are allowed to make mess and take up space, do not be afraid to expand. Every single goddamn minute. Expand, expand, expand
Femme Fatale (via gothics)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
IT REALLY SUCKS WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE MORE THAN THEYLL EVER LIKE YOU
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
every time you smell a flower remember you are smelling sex organs
you are smelling flower semen, vagina, and penis all at once
enjoy your summer
i like being obsessed with things so that im distracted from how much i hate myself

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I accidentally sent this to my sister
Thor The Dark World Gag Reel.
ATTENTION
DO NOT PUT BANANAS IN THE MICROWAVE
THEY ARE FLAMMABLE
WHY DID YOU ANYWAY
this sounds like a conversation sherlock and john would have
i was jerking off and full house was on in the background and i looked up and made eye contact with bob saget as i came and im so ashamed

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
You would have thought someone would have told them that was a bad idea
my parents bought me this rly shady bottle of Coke from mexico should i drink it
i’m gonna drink it
update: apparently it’s supposed to be the original recipe it tastes kind of weird
EVERYTHIG NIS VER Y FUNN Y AND I AM V ERY AW AYKE ALRIGHT LA LRHAIGTH LARIGHTAL RIGHT LALTH IRHTALTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
didnt the original recipe have cocaine