A Young Man Trying To Succeed In A Corrupt World @d1reese - Tumblr Blog

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Bathrooms, 1996

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My wife's favorite sleep noise app is the kind that lets you mix different noises, one of which is a snoring shih tzu, and she loves to create soundscapes that imply the dog is in imminent danger

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It'll be like

*music box playing*

*dog snoring*

*the sound of a crackling fire slowly fades in, getting louder and louder as the dog continues to snore*

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The other night I was taking a bath while her bluetooth speaker sat innocently nearby, when she decided to aid my relaxation by providing her favorite soundscape, Dog Engulfed In Housefire

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Okay since this is getting like a thousand notes an hour let me clear up some common misconceptions:

1) she is doing this on purpose, as she turns up the volume on the fire she yells things like "oh no he's still sleeping get him out of there!"

2) she is not falling asleep to this. Her preference for actual sleeping is just rain noises. She does this exclusively to torment me/make me laugh/amuse herself before bed

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That 40 min walk to nowhere particular Will save your life

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