Hold Fast

This past summer has been up and down, but I've mainly been on top. I honestly cant remember feeling this good...ever. Everything in my life has done a 180. My mentally abusive ex finally broke up with me while i was completely across the country visiting him. it opened my eyes to the rest of the world and I don't regret a damn thing. I came back from that vacation a new person, I had the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders and for the first time in my life i was able to laugh and smile. Ever since that trip, i've left my room i call the cave. I did the one thing I thought i'd never get around to. I got a better job, one that I love waking up to. I renovated my room, new paint, new bed, and new floor plan. I cut 12 inches of hair off. I have an incredible boyfriend, and have not had a cigarette in 18 days.....and counting!

I never want to go back to who I was.

you guys can always follow my main blog, which i actually use lol

thank you dear anon. I wish so bad to believe you, I am trying. It just seems like there's never any happy moments or good news to remind me that it's not always bad. 

I just can't come to terms with the fact that I'm going to be miserable for ever.

That there is no cure.

I will never be normal.

NEVER watch Frontline: The Suicide Tourist

Because everyone has their group of friends they belong to, their boyfriends and girlfriends to hold. Today everybody will be partying and laughing and having a good time.