w o r t h y

I’m ashamed of myself because I know I should be better and I have no idea how to get there.

Sometimes you can’t explain what you see in a person. It’s just the way they take you to a place where no one else can.

The hardest thing about losing you is that it didn’t just happen once. I lose you every single day that we don’t speak. When I wake up in the morning and reach for my phone and hope to see a message that isn’t there, and when I go to sleep at night after I realise that the only person I want to moan to about how crap my day was, isn’t there. And I lose you in all of the moments in between, in all the hours of silence that go by where I do nothing but think of you, go to call you, and then I don’t. I lose you when I watch certain films, listen to certain songs, and go to certain places that are all tainted with certain parts of you and how you make me feel. And I used to think I could only miss you when I was alone, but that’s not true. I miss you when I’m around everyone else, too. Because they are not you. But you’re always there…somewhere. I can’t not think about you. It’s only when I’m asleep that I get a break from it. From thinking and wanting and missing. But, then I wake up the following day, roll over, check my phone, see that you didn’t call and I just know I’m going to feel it all over again.