two cats in a trenchcoat

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄

where's my useless apprentice i TOLD him it was going to be the duty of the next generation to not repeat the mistakes of those before them and to make this world bet- oh my apprentice goes by her now? you're telling me she's right in front of me! my dear i'm so sorry i didn't know. you look so much happier and more confident than the bumbling, shy apprentice i once knew. im so proud of you. were you the one who tampered with my fucking runes

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

as a feminist i support recreational abortion

i have mixed feelings about competitive

wikipe-tan bashfully acquiescing into doing more and more embarrassing kinks in the name of academic thoroughness

“You… you need a p-public domain image for bimbofication?” and so on and so forth

I love this image so much. it’s so lovingly made. it’s so earnest. it was made with a level of passion and delicacy exclusively reserved for perverts. this was not “we need an image for shipping discourse haha wouldn’t this be silly” this was made with more yearning than the human body can bear

woman on the bus next to me furiously doing a 7x7 rubix cube at a speed that implies she's done this a thousand times. maybe i do understand lesbians actually.

she finished the cube and spent the rest of the bus ride staring dead straight ahead. unmoving. perhaps some kind of cube fuelled robot.